She Who Dares, Wins.

Allie spent 26 years drinking, built a career in the music industry, and ran marathons and 100‑mile ultras trying to outrun how much she hated herself. On the outside she was the hard‑drinking goth with the dream job and big races; on the inside she was depressed, suicidal, and convinced the next achievement would finally make her “enough.”In this episode, Allie shares how lockdown and a near‑suicide moment forced her to stop running from herself, get sober at 40, lose everything – and then slowly rebuild a life based on her values: kindness, honesty and integrity. We dive into alcohol, ultra running, identity, why you can’t outperform self‑hate, and how she now coaches others to focus on mindset over medals and “do the work” one honest action at a time.Timestamps0:00 – Meet Allie: music industry, ultra running & why she finally stopped drinking1:26 – Childhood & first drink: big family, no space for feelings, discovering alcohol at 144:00 – Dream job, nightmare culture: record label life, “you’re lucky to be here” & work‑hard/play‑hard drinking9:40 – Running to cope: first run to avoid suicide, marathons & 100‑mile races while still drinking16:25 – Lockdown & rock bottom: isolation, toxic relationship & the night she planned to end her life19:46 – Therapy & values: meeting Theo, ACT, and uncovering kindness, honesty & integrity as core values26:00 – Rebuilding sober: starting a coaching business, mindset > medals, and redefining success in sportKey TakeawaysYou can’t outrun self‑hateNo race, job title or external achievement will fix an internal belief that you’re not enough. Allie proves you can be “killing it” on paper and still be dying inside.Alcohol sells you a lieIt presents itself as the solution to anxiety, trauma and impostor syndrome, while quietly making them worse. For Allie, alcohol wasn’t the problem… until she realised it had become her whole personality.Sport can be a mask as much as a medicineUltra running gave Allie purpose and community, but it also became a way to prove she was “fine”. You can be running marathons and 100‑milers and still be deeply unwell.Values are a turning point, not a buzzwordIdentifying kindness, honesty and integrity as her core values – and realising she’d been living against them – was the real catalyst for change, more than any single race or event.There’s no self‑sabotage, only self‑preservationThose urges to quit, to pull the plug or to stay small are often your brain trying to protect you from pain. Naming that changes how you respond to it.Mindset > medals (and times are neutral)Allie reframes success around what you can control: process, effort, joy, community and integrity. Finish times and podiums are byproducts, not the point.Doing the work is daily, not dramaticJournaling, tiny honest decisions, and repeatedly choosing actions that match your values matter more than one big “rock bottom” moment or a single breakthrough.Failure and mess make the best stories – and the most growthDNFs, hallucinations, disgusting porta‑loo moments and “I completely screwed that up” races are where she learned the most about herself, and where listeners can recognise their own patterns too.Allie on Socials : IG @Ab_runsAllies BookJoin Dare Club: ClubShop: www.shewhodareswins.com

In this episode of She Who Dares Wins, Michelle sits down with Anna, Arts Director at Sunny Bank Mills, to explore what it really means to dare in your career and life. From experimental theatre and large-scale cultural production at Leeds 2023, to community-focused curation in a former textile mill, Anna shares how she stepped off the traditional career ladder to build a lifestyle job that actually fits her values.They discuss the WoW Barn project – a 24‑hour build with 300 women and non-binary people – the realities of work in the arts, the tension between ambition and burnout, and the courage it takes to be radically honest about what you really want, including the prospect of starting a family.Key TakeawaysDaring can mean changing direction, not just climbing higherAnna talks about leaving a “successful” trajectory in large-scale cultural events when she realised the next logical steps (EP, Director of Programmes) didn’t align with the life she wanted.The WoW Barn: women, non-binary people and agency in constructionThe 24-hour timber build with 300 women and non-binary people challenged ideas about who construction is “for” and gave many participants their first experience of building and tools – with powerful confidence and identity shifts.Redefining what an art gallery can beAt Sunny Bank Mills, Anna focuses on accessibility and community:A gallery on a village high street, not just in a city centreA zine library and touchable pieces to break down shame and intimidationWelcoming honest feedback from locals who feel real ownership of the spaceCurating with integrity (not just what sells)As Arts Director of a commercial gallery, Anna balances:Work that’s easy to sell (e.g. Yorkshire landscapes)With pieces that expand horizons, communicate lived experience, and make people thinkShe wants to stand beside every work and confidently say why it’s on the wall.Lifestyle job vs endless growthMoving from freelancing and high-intensity projects to a family-run, community-rooted site has shifted Anna’s view of success:One “hat” instead of sixDaily connection with artists, locals, and a historic site of makingSpace to prioritise work–life balance over constant “more, bigger, faster”.Honesty about motherhood and identityAnna shares two “dares” for herself:Returning to horse riding as a hobbySeriously considering starting a familyShe talks openly about fears around losing identity, career impact, and inherited anxieties many career-driven women feel.A dare for other womenAnna’s challenge:Be radically honest with yourself.Don’t just follow the trajectory you think you should be on – ask if it’s really serving you and whether it’s genuinely what you want.Timestamps [0:00] – Intro: Anna’s background in theatre, experimental live art & producing[0:17]–[7:55] – Leeds, European Capital of Culture bid & the birth of Leeds 2023[7:55]–[13:47] – The WoW Barn: 24-hour build, women in construction, empowerment stories[13:47]–[20:12] – Leaving Leeds 2023 & landing the Arts Director role at Sunny Bank Mills[20:12]–[30:37] – Making art accessible: village gallery, community feedback, zine library, touching the art[30:37]–[43:19] – What it really means to curate: taste vs sales, contemporary craft, and the “she’s a keeper” piece[43:19]–[49:44] – Lifestyle careers, work–life balance, family-run business culture, unlearning toxic work patterns[49:44]–[58:35] – Daring to ride horses again, thinking about starting a family, and identity as a career-driven woman[58:35]–end – Anna’s dare to listeners: radical honesty about the paths you’re onJoin Dare Club now: https://stan.store/shewhodareswinsShop she who dares wins: www.shewhodareswins.com

This week’s dare:Michelle invites you to step out of your comfort zone in the most human way possible: by really listening to someone else’s story. Not half-listening, not waiting for your turn to talk – but giving someone the space, time, and curiosity to share who they are beneath the surface.In this episode, Michelle talks about:Why we think we know people, but usually only know the surface version of their storyWhat working in construction taught her about asking one simple question and then just… leaving spaceHow her ADHD and love of telling her own story means she has to consciously practice listening as a skillA recent controversial USA Hockey / Trump story in the media and why she’s curious about the quiet voice in the back of the room whose perspective we never hearThe way podcast guests often come on to talk about something totally different to what they’re known for onlinePractical questions you can try this week:“What’s your guilty pleasure?”“If you had a weekend with zero responsibilities, what would you do?”“What kind of music are you into – and what was the last gig you went to?”These questions:Take conversation beyond small talkHelp you see people as multilayered humans, not just job titlesMake others feel seen, heard, and appreciatedKey takeaways:Listening is not passive – it’s intentional and courageousSilences and gaps are where the real story often appearsYou don’t need to turn every chat into therapy; just be curious and see where the conversation wants to goWhen you truly listen, both of you walk away feeling more connectedThis week’s dare:Go and intentionally listen to somebody’s story.Ask deeper questions, hold your tongue a little longer, and notice how it feels to really hear – and to really see – another person.Mentioned in this episode:Dare Club Newsletter & Waiting List sign up here: https://stan.store/shewhodareswinsFirst limited-edition drop of the She Dares Wins clothing range launching mid-March. www.shewhodareswins.comUse code POD10 for 10% off at shedareswins.com.

Claudia joins Michelle to share how someone who is “really, really scared of heights” became a glider pilot, instructor, and member of the British gliding team. From panic on step ladders to flying at 12,000 feet in Australia, Claudia breaks down the reality of gliding: the tactics, the weather, the landouts in farmers’ fields, and the joy of silent flight. She also talks candidly about pressure in competition, being a woman in a male‑dominated aviation world, and how “just going to have fun” transformed her performance on the world stage.Key TakeawaysClaudia’s fear and how she flies anywayClaudia still has a genuine fear of heights and can have panic attacks on ladders and chairlifts.In a glider, however, she feels safe and in control—until a vintage open‑cockpit flight triggered a mid‑air panic attack that she had to talk herself through alone.How she fell into gliding and never looked backShe first tried gliding at a small German club while at university in Cologne, after being told, “We’re all scared of heights, don’t worry.”What competitive gliding really looks likeGlider racing is like “aerial chess” and often compared to sailing: pilots fly a set task around turning points and back to base; fastest wins.Field landings and safety in glidingLanding in farmers’ fields (“landing out”) is a normal and trained-for part of cross‑country gliding.Pilots are taught how to pick safe fields, plan a circuit, and land smoothly; most landouts are “non‑events.”Gliders have a single main wheel, can be disassembled on site, and trailered home. August stubble fields are ideal, as they minimise damage to crops and aircraft.Gliders, engines and why she feels safer without oneA glider is essentially a normal aircraft without an engine: same controls (rudder, ailerons, elevator), but designed to glide efficiently.Many modern gliders have small retractable engines for “limping home,” but Claudia’s 51‑year‑old glider doesn’t.She actually relaxes in the motor glider only once she’s in the landing circuit with the throttle closed—“Now I’m in a glider. Now I know what I’m doing.”Travel, childhood and a life of exploringClaudia was born in Afghanistan and grew up in countries like Nigeria, Bangladesh and Ivory Coast due to her father’s work in development projects.Returning to Germany at eight, she already knew she wanted to live abroad and travel—and still feels childlike excitement on big commercial aircraft.Dealing with pressure and rediscovering funAfter rapid progress—first comp in 2006, first Women’s Worlds in 2013—she began putting huge pressure on herself.One nationals with eight amazing flying days was “miserable” because of self‑imposed expectations.Her turning point: ignore yesterday’s scores, focus only on today’s flight, and prioritise fun. Once she did that, her flying improved and results followed (including a silver medal at the Women’s World Gliding Championship in the UK).Timestamps [00:01:34] – Claudia introduced on the “She Who Dares Wins” podcast[00:02:00] – “Really scared of heights… and a British gliding team member”[00:04:16] – First gliding lesson in Germany and signing up the same day[00:07:38] – What competition gliding is and why it’s like sailing[00:13:55] – Landing in farmers’ fields and how gliders are taken apart[00:19:18] – Why she feels safer in a glider than in a powered aircraft[00:28:06] – Winning a silver medal at the Women’s World Gliding Championship[00:33:43] – Women in gliding, “dinosaurs” and the power of alliesJoin Dare club: https://stan.store/shewhodareswinsShop Merch www.shewhodareswins.com

Episode: Dare Thursday – The Tapestry of Your CareerHost: Michelle (She Who Dares Wins Podcast)Guest Inspiration: Hattie, the flower farmer (from Monday’s episode)OverviewIn this Dare Thursday mini-episode, Michelle invites you to step back and look at the tapestry of your life and career. Inspired by flower farmer Hattie’s story—near‑death experiences, wild career twists, and ultimately landing her dream job—this episode challenges you to recognize how every experience has prepared you for where you are now (and where you’re going next).In this episode, you’ll hear about:Hattie’s journey from near‑death experiences and “crazy careers” to owning her dream flower farmWhy we underestimate the value of our past jobs and life chaptersMichelle’s own winding path:Geography degreeFilm school in LAA decade in construction across multiple rolesStarting a chemical business with her brother in their garageProject management, land surveying, and drone workBuilding a YouTube channel and speaking about constructionThe hidden skills these experiences built:Storytelling and listeningTalking to people from all walks of lifeBusiness skills like accounts, websites, and social mediaCreativity, resilience, and idea‑generation (including long hours on drilling sites with a notebook)This Week’s DareGrab a piece of paper and map out your career (or life) as a tapestry:List your jobs, roles, or key life chaptersNote what you learned in each season—skills, perspectives, resilienceLook for the thread that connects it all, and notice how much you’ve already done and grownAsk yourself: What have I discredited that actually makes me stronger today?This exercise is all about self-awareness and self-credit: shifting from “I’m not where I want to be yet” to “Look how far I’ve already come.”Join Dare Club: If you’re feeling ready for a career move, life pivot, or you’re just a bit burnt out, Dare Club is for you.Weekly emails with stories from podcast guestsMini dares to keep you moving forward and out of your comfort zoneA growing community with accountability and future digital products to support your next stepHow to sign up for Dare Club: https://stan.store/shewhodareswinsHead to Instagram @shewhodareswins 

In this episode, Hattie shares the winding, courageous journey that led her to becoming a full-time flower farmer living on a smallholding in the countryside.She talks with Michelle about:Childhood upheaval and losing her family home at 11Surviving bacterial meningitis at 15 and a serious car crash at 19Working in waste management, landfill, and wildlife conservationCareer pivots into events, volunteering, and charity leadershipQuietly carrying a “one day” dream of a flower farm and wedding flowersFinally backing herself during the pandemic to rebuild life around natureWe explore how Hattie’s life “tapestry” was woven from life shocks, resilience, and micro joys, and why she believes purpose, not speed or status, is the truest measure of success.Key TakeawaysDreams can take a decade (or more) and still be worth itHattie spent over 10 years moving through different roles and industries before landing in the life she’d imagined—proof that slow progress is still progress.Life shocks can create deep resilience and clarityLosing her home, surviving meningitis, and a near-fatal car accident all became pivotal points that sharpened her sense of what really matters.Your career is a tapestry, not a straight lineEach “random” job—waste management, conservation, city of culture, leadership programs—gave her skills she now uses daily on the farm (from land management to events to people skills).Purpose beats prestigeA lecturer’s challenge—“Do you want low pay doing good, or big money defending harm?”—anchored her to roles with meaning and social/environmental impact.Nature is medicineTime outdoors has been central to Hattie’s healing from grief and burnout. Her farm is designed as much for wildlife and immersion as for flowers.Micro joys can rebuild a broken season of lifeInstead of chasing big highs, Hattie learned to collect tiny, daily joys—a robin in the garden, a bird sighting, a small moment of beauty—and use them to slowly climb out of difficult years.You’re allowed to change your mind—and your careerHattie repeatedly “started again” in new sectors. Each leap was scary, but reinforced the idea that confidence often comes after you jump, not before.Listening to your gut is a skill, not fluffFrom saying yes to the podcast invite to finally starting the flower farm, following her gut has been Hattie’s compass—even when fear and imposter syndrome show up later.Timestamps00:00 – Welcome to the show & Hattie’s “She Dares Wins” intro02:30 – Tapestry vs chapters: how Hattie views her life story04:45 – Losing her home at 11 and joining a new school mid-year06:30 – Contracting meningitis at 15 and the “life is short” wake‑up09:00 – The near-fatal Land Rover crash and a new sense of spirituality18:30 – From landfill and waste to wildlife conservation and values26:40 – Pandemic reflections and the decision to finally start a flower farm34:50 – Nature, micro joys, and inviting others to heal on the farmJoin Dare Club Now:

Episode SummaryIn this bonus episode, helicopter pilot Adele returns to share deeper reflections on kindness, fear, emotional intelligence, and crisis management in aviation and life. She talks about why her ideal billboard would simply say “Be kind to each other,” opens up about her fear of public speaking despite a high‑risk job, and describes a pivotal in‑flight engine incident that she calls the day she “actually became a pilot.” The conversation explores expectations placed on pilots, the importance of crew resource management, and how self‑kindness and knowing your own reactions under pressure can transform both work and life.Key TakeawaysKindness matters more than we thinkAdele’s billboard message would be “Be kind to each other”, highlighting how many problems come from a lack of empathy and taking time to understand others.Kindness isn’t just outward-facing—being kind to yourself is crucial for growth and confidence.Public speaking can be scarier than extreme physical riskDespite being a helicopter pilot, Adele finds public speaking and situations where she might embarrass herself more terrifying than skydiving.Confidence in speaking is a muscle that needs practice, even for people who seem naturally comfortable on stage or on mic.Travel, beauty, and environmental realityAdele loves Indonesia for its culture, people, and nature, calling it a turning point in her life.She also notes the shocking plastic pollution, with “confetti beaches” where sand is largely plastic.Canada still pulls at her heart, especially the mountains—but brutal winters make her unsure about moving back full-time.Helicopter flying: range, routes, and fearsMost helicopters can fly 2–2.5 hours on one tank, continuing as long as there are fuel stops.Ocean crossings are possible via staged routes (e.g., via Iceland), but Adele is not a fan of flying over open water.Wildfire flying as a future goalAdele is interested in moving into wildfire fighting operations, including vertical reference and longline work, to help communities affected by fires.Misconceptions and expectations of pilotsPeople often don’t expect Adele to be the pilot, and treat her differently once they find out what she does.There’s a strong image of what a pilot “should” look and act like, which she doesn’t fit, and she’s always balancing authenticity with professional expectations.Emotional intelligence and crew dynamics save livesAdele explains crew resource management (CRM) and why “soft skills” like communication, feedback, and trust are actually critical safety skills.She discusses the danger of authority gradients where co‑pilots are too afraid to challenge captains, sometimes with fatal consequences.Good crews balance clear leadership with genuine openness, so everyone feels able to speak up.The day she “actually became a pilot”Adele shares a detailed story of an engine malfunction in a Sikorsky 76, flying single-pilot from remote fishing lodges.She had to manage power, monitor for fire, navigate terrain, communicate with ATC, and land safely on one engine, all while alone and out of radio range for part of the flight.That incident proved to her she could rely on her training under pressure and shaped her identity as a pilot.How helicopters land if the engine failsAdele breaks down autorotation: using rotor inertia and airflow so the helicopter can still be controlled and landed without power.With training, pilots can pick a spot, flare, and land with control, rather than “falling like a rock.”Crisis responses and self-awarenessBoth discuss how people react in crises—fight, flight, or freeze—and the importance of knowing your own default.Michelle reflects that she’s often very effective in real crises, even if she feels chaotic day to day.Self-kindness as a dareFor her personal “dare,” Adele commits to being kinder to herself, acknowledging she is her own worst critic.With constant negativity in the world, she wants to focus on positive actions and impact.

Be Kinder to Yourself (Why Self-Criticism Isn’t Helping You Win)This week, Michelle takes a break from guest interviews to speak directly to something that stopped her in her tracks.After sending out a listener survey, one result hit hard:80% of women said they struggle to be kind to themselves.Including Michelle.In this solo episode, Michelle unpacks how self-criticism sneaks in, why it feels productive (but isn’t), and how being relentlessly hard on yourself can quietly hold you back — even when you’re achieving on paper.This isn’t about fluffy self-care or letting yourself off the hook.It’s about awareness, honesty, and learning how to move forward without constantly tearing yourself down.Key Talking Points & Timestamps00:00 – Why this needed to be saidMichelle explains why she felt compelled to pause guest episodes and talk openly about kindness — and what triggered this realisation.01:08 – The survey result that changed everything80% of women said they struggle to be kind to themselves — and why that statistic is both comforting and alarming.02:41 – Catching the inner voice first thing in the morningHow negative self-talk was showing up before Michelle had even opened her eyes — and why that matters.03:25 – The ‘holy socks’ analogyWhy we treat other people with more respect than we treat ourselves — and what that says about self-worth.04:42 – When being “hard on yourself” backfiresMichelle reflects on imposter syndrome in construction and how self-criticism limited her confidence and progression.06:22 – Building the podcast without trusting herselfGrowing a podcast from scratch, hitting big milestones — and still being unable to acknowledge progress.07:41 – When your worth gets tied to achievementWhy high-achieving women never feel like they’ve “arrived” — and the cost of chasing constant validation.09:00 – Starting from ‘I am enough’ (without losing your drive)Insights inspired by Joe Hudson on separating self-worth from outcomes.09:35 – Fear, paralysis, and second-guessingHow being unkind to yourself fuels procrastination and decision fatigue.10:45 – The 9-day awareness exerciseA simple but powerful way to notice, track, and challenge self-critical thoughts.11:58 – Three ways to reframe unkind thoughts• Acknowledge without agreeing• Laugh at the ridiculous ones• Reframe with evidence and context13:43 – The real cost of self-criticismWhy it doesn’t make you better — just more disconnected, anxious, and distrustful of yourself.14:58 – Chasing relief instead of alignmentWhy achievement doesn’t bring peace if you’re running from fear instead of moving with intention.16:18 – “My story isn’t good enough”Why even the most impressive women downplay their journeys — and how common this mindset really is.17:54 – Living in fight-or-flight without realising itHow self-kindness helped Michelle regulate her nervous system and feel more grounded week to week.18:43 – A quiet invitation, not a challengeMichelle encourages listeners to start with one thing: not being unkind to themselves.19:22 – What’s next with Dare ClubHow this work around kindness, alignment, and self-trust is shaping the future of Dare Club.Key TakeawaysBeing hard on yourself isn’t discipline — it’s often fear in disguiseSelf-criticism doesn’t fuel progress; it creates paralysisHigh achievement without self-kindness leads to disconnectionYou can accept emotions without agreeing with themAwareness is the first step — not perfectionStarting from “I am enough” doesn’t kill ambition, it steadies itSign up to Dare club