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Dare #11 Stop Saying Yes When You Mean No
Ep. 127
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In this episode of the Bonus Series, we’re cutting through the BS and breaking down why saying yes when you mean no isn’t kindness – it’s self-abandonment. I share my own story of overcommitting (hello burnout), the science behind approval-seeking, and how it screws with your nervous system, energy, and self-trust.
We unpack:
- The social and neurological reasons we avoid saying no
- Why your fake yes is slowly burning you out
- The real cost of emotional suppression and cognitive dissonance
- Tools to recognise a truthful yes vs. an obligation yes
- Small ways to practice honest communication and build that backbone
PLUS: Your weekly DARE to practice saying no (without the guilt hangover).
Need backup as you start flexing your no muscle? Join us in Dare Club – the place for bold, honest women who are done shrinking.
Follow, share, and tag @SheWhoDaresWins – and let us know what you said no to this week!
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132. Into the Wild: Finding a Passion for Wildlife, Travel, and Unexpected photography Adventures with Georgia Barker
41:21||Season 4, Ep. 132Georgia didn’t just dare — she bolted. At 22 she booked a one-way ticket to Australia, spent seven years travelling the world, worked in one of Queensland’s roughest pubs, wandered through Africa, and accidentally built the resilience most people try to buy in paperback form.A decade later, one spontaneous visit to an RSPB reserve flipped a switch she didn’t know she had. In just one year, she’s become a standout wildlife photographer, built a community of new-age birders, and is now leading her first international birding trip — all while navigating the tension between passion and monetisation.This episode is all about daring to start something completely new, letting curiosity lead the way, and remembering that the wild isn’t “out there”… it’s been on your doorstep the whole damn time.Key Takeaways (Condensed)How a single meme and a toxic relationship pushed her to book that one-way ticket.The seven years of travel that shaped her grit, confidence, and worldview.The unexpected moment birding clicked — and why it hit so hard.Her rise in wildlife photography despite zero formal training.The ethics, chaos, and surprising humour inside the birding world.Why she’s not rushing to turn her passion into a full-time job.How community, nature, and curiosity helped her find her thing.Timestamps0:00 – Welcome + Georgia’s biggest dare 0:12 – Why she booked a one-way ticket to Australia at 22 3:20 – Seven years on the road: Africa, New Zealand, Canada & chaos 4:55 – Working in one of Queensland’s “roughest pubs” 7:30 – The accidental moment she discovered birding 12:50 – Why wildlife photography hooked her instantly 15:40 – The challenge of keeping passion and monetisation separate 18:45 – Building a new kind of birding community + UK wildlife loveShop www.shewhodareswins.comJoin Dare club Community
131. Dare #13 Being More in the Moment & Letting Go of Goal Pressure
13:33||Season 4, Ep. 131This week’s Dare Thursday is a little different — mostly because Michelle is recording while full of lurgy and zero illusions of having her life together. Instead of a neatly structured pep talk, you’re getting a raw brain dump on presence, pressure, and why your future goals are sometimes ruining your mood in the present.In this episode, Michelle unpacks:💥 Why your brain loves dragging you out of the momentFrom planning next year’s guests to imagining your finances in 12 months, the mental time travel never ends. And honestly? It’s exhausting. Especially when it stops you from appreciating the good stuff that’s already happening.💭 The trap of goal-setting that nobody warns you aboutYes, goals matter. But obsessing over them? That’s the fast lane to anxiety. Michelle reflects on how she hit goals she never planned for — and missed goals she thought mattered — and what that actually teaches you about focus and flexibility.🌱 The power of micro-presenceShe's been experimenting with catching herself mid-spiral and asking simple grounding questions:Am I okay right now?Do I have what I need today?Are the kids fine?Has anything genuinely gone wrong?Turns out, checking in with the present lowers anxiety much faster than a five-year plan ever has.🧠 ADHD, internal rebellion & why “You have to do this” never worksIf your inner child wants to flip a table every time you impose a strict goal on yourself… yeah, you’re not alone. Michelle breaks down why some brains reject pressure — and how reframing your “must do’s” into playful experiments might actually get you results.🎨 The story of the artist told to go get 50 rejectionsOne of the best mindset flips of the episode: failure as a game. Once the pressure disappeared, the success exploded.This Week’s DareCatch yourself every single time you start spiralling about the future or beating yourself up for not being “further along.” Pause. Ask: “Is today actually okay?” If the answer is yes — drop the panic. You’re still on the path, even if it’s wiggly. Dare Club Is OPENMichelle has officially launched Dare Club — the free online community for women who want:more connectionmore couragemore accountabilitymore ‘holy crap, I’m actually doing the thing’ momentsYou can join for free, with optional paid tiers coming packed with value. Connect over podcast guests, your own dares, and real-life meetups as the community grows.Join via Michelle’s Instagram bio or at shewhodareswins.com → Dare Club.
130. (re-run) Becca Worgan -Strength Without Permission: Becca Worgan’s Rise in Strongman
41:49||Season 4, Ep. 130In this episode of She Who Dares Wins, Michelle sits down with Becca Worgan — the current Natural World’s Strongest Woman under 82 kg and possibly the calmest, most grounded powerhouse you’ll ever meet.Becca didn’t grow up dreaming about lifting atlas stones or dragging cars for fun. She only started Strongman in 2019… and then decided to go and dominate it. Casual.We dig into how she built her strength, both the muscle and the mindset. She talks about juggling university, work, and training without losing her sanity, and why stepping into a Strongman gym as a woman can feel like walking into a secret society — but shouldn’t.Becca also shares how a tiny pivot from bodybuilding to Strongman changed everything, why the crew at Steel City Gym in Middlesbrough helped her level up fast, and how community can do what discipline alone can’t.There’s also plenty on injury setbacks, rebuilding confidence, stepping into commentating, and why she’s training to become a physio specifically for strength athletes — because she wants to give back to the sport that gave her direction.It’s an episode full of grit, straight talk, and reassurance for every woman who’s ever looked at a barbell and thought, “Not sure that’s for me.” Spoiler: it is.Key TakeawaysRelentless focus pays off. Becca’s success comes from showing up, even on the grim days when motivation left the chat.Your environment matters. A supportive gym isn’t a luxury — it’s rocket fuel. Steel City proved that.Strength isn’t a boys’ club. Women face real barriers entering strength sports, but Becca’s on a mission to tear those down.Make your passion your career. From competing to commentating to becoming a physio, Becca’s building a future rooted in the sport she loves.Setbacks don’t define you. Injuries happen — the comeback is where the real mental strength shows up.Notable Quotes“Once you know how to use everything and what you’re doing, that fear will go. You can get really confident really quickly in it.”“I just love being strong. It quickly became, I’m more interested in what my body can do than what it looks like.”“It’s not selfish. An hour at the gym three or four times a week isn’t selfish at all — you can definitely find that time.”“I’ve never been so pleased about something in my life. All that work was worth it when I won.”“If you're in the northeast, send me a message. I’m training all over the place and I’ll happily train with you.”ResourcesBecca Worgan on InstagramSteel City Gym, MiddlesbroughNatural World’s Strongest Woman CompetitionChaos PromotionsUK Natural Strength Federation (UKNS)Support the ShowShop hoodies and tees at👉 www.shewhodareswins.comUse code POD10 for 10% off.
129. Dare# 12: Anonymous Kindness = Underrated Power Move
09:47||Season 4, Ep. 129In this playful bonus episode, we're flipping beige routines on their head and spreading joy the rogue way — with anonymous sticky notes.I’m talking about The Chaos Note — a bold little dare to leave a kind, funny, or outrageously uplifting note in public this week.Inside this episode:The personal story behind how one mirror note hit me like a brick of unexpected kindnessThe science of how random acts of kindness boost happiness (for you and them)Why anonymous giving triggers the brain’s reward system harder than public praiseThe dopamine surprise effect, stress reduction, and the ripple effect of tiny kind gesturesThis week’s dare: Write a note. Leave it. Walk away like the legend you are.If you’re ready to shake up the world’s beige energy and remind someone they matter — this one’s for you.🎧 Listen now and leave your legacy in neon ink.📝 Dare 11: Leave one anonymous note this week. Tag @SheWhoDaresWins if you’re in. Or don’t. Chaos likes mystery.Clothing: www.shewhodareswins.comJoin Dare club: https://stan.store/shewhodareswins
128. Lucy Spraggan - Surviving SAS, Authenticity, and Self-Discovery
01:02:47||Season 4, Ep. 128Surviving SAS, Authenticity, and Self-Discovery with Lucy Spraggan This week, Lucy Spraggan sits down with me for one of the most honest, eye-opening conversations we’ve had on the show. If you think you know her from The X Factor or SAS: Who Dares Wins… you don’t. Not until you hear this.Lucy talks openly about the realities of fame, trauma, sobriety, neurodiversity, and what it actually takes to rebuild your life from the ground up. She doesn’t sugar-coat a thing and that’s exactly why this episode hits so hard.We get into the brutal behind-the-scenes of SAS, the mindset shift that changed everything, and why radical authenticity has become her non-negotiable. From learning to stop caring what people think, to finding joy in the smallest, most unexpected places… this episode is packed with truth.If you’re navigating change, dealing with your past, or trying to figure out who the hell you are now — this one will stay with you.Key TakeawaysAuthenticity isn’t a buzzword — it’s a daily decision Lucy had to fight for.SAS broke her physically, but rebuilt her mentally in ways she didn’t expect.Sobriety gave her clarity, confidence, and a deeper sense of purpose.Human connection — not individual grit — is what gets you through adversity.Neurodiversity is her superpower, especially in creative and high-pressure spaces.Radical honesty can change your entire relationship with yourself.You are not your thoughts — and learning that can completely shift your life.Joy comes from simple, grounded moments, not external validation.Timestamps0:00 — Welcome + Lucy’s definition of daring and winning0:11 — The cost (and power) of radical authenticity0:37 — Writing her book and telling the truth, even when it hurt1:20 — Learning to stop caring what people think3:45 — SAS: Why she pursued it and how she prepared5:00 — The physical aftermath and hidden realities of the show7:36 — Near-injuries, fear, and pushing through trauma9:40 — Why connection mattered more than strength on SAS11:19 — Behind the interrogation: sensory deprivation + mental testing14:04 — The mindset warrior moment that changed everything15:21 — What adversity taught her about herself16:32 — Mental health, intrusive thoughts, and radical self-awareness19:19 — Practicing “I am not my thoughts”20:44 — Intention, presence, and redefining performance23:20 — Music, community, and why connection is everything26:00 — Boundaries with fans and protecting her mental health29:06 — ADHD, learning patterns, and creativity31:21 — Would Lucy be where she is without X Factor?32:36 — Delusional capability: her secret weapon35:59 — Breaking free from expectations and rebuilding your life38:40 — Health challenges, long Covid, and mindset shifts39:51 — Metal detecting, joy, and finding a life that feels good42:15 — Martial arts, self-defence, and building physical confidence45:08 — Discipline vs motivation — the real difference46:00 — Misconceptions and learning not to care49:06 — Joy, gratitude, and what truly matters52:55 — Materialism, identity, and growth55:16 — Carrying the people we’ve lost56:45 — The dare: Lucy’s next challenge58:12 — Why every woman should try jiu jitsu1:00:00 — The vulva story, recovery, and ending with real talkShop: www.shewhodareswins.comJoin Dare Club: https://stan.store/shewhodareswins
126. Chasing Depth, not Perfection with Freediver Ruth Osborn
57:56||Season 4, Ep. 126British national record–holding freediver Ruth Osborne is back — and let’s just say the last two years have been anything but smooth sailing. Ear infections, cancelled competition days, Caribbean chaos, burnout, and a couple of “is this my last dive ever?” moments… Ruth lays it all out with the kind of honesty most people avoid.This episode isn’t about glory dives or perfect outcomes. It’s about what happens when the thing you love keeps punching you in the gut — and why you still get back in the water anyway.We get into her training, mindset shifts, the ugly parts of high-level sport, and the surprising decision to coach herself. If you need a reminder that the path rarely looks pretty, this is it.Key TakeawaysProgress without outcome is still progress. Ruth’s technique, strength and awareness are on another level — even if the number on the dive line hasn’t moved yet.Setbacks don’t mean you're wrong for the path — sometimes they’re just annoying. Ear infections, heat, UTIs, and slanted dive lines aren’t “signs from the universe.” They’re life.You can love the process even when you hate the results. That’s the real test of commitment.Self-awareness beats brute force. From redefining nutrition to noticing burnout, Ruth shows what “listening to your body” actually looks like.Retiring wasn’t the answer — remembering her ‘why’ was.Coaching herself is the next evolution. She’s backing her own experience, instincts, and discipline.Rest isn’t optional. Especially when you're diving 80+ metres on one breath.Long-term mindset > short-term wins. She's building for depth, longevity, and a life lived well — not a single medal moment.Timestamps0:00 – Ruth is back: two years later, a lot deeper (mentally if not yet physically)2:00 – Competitions, ear infections and the brutal timing of setbacks4:15 – What “current” does to a dive and why it matters8:00 – Pressure, performance windows and keeping your head straight12:00 – Reacting vs choosing your reaction16:00 – When outcome and effort don’t match20:00 – Nutrition, protein and what changed for Ruth in her 40s33:00 – The Dominica chapter: volcanoes, heat exhaustion and angry afternoons39:00 – “Do I retire?” — Ruth hits her breaking point44:00 – Why she stays in the game: rebuilding her ‘why’52:00 – World Championships, coaching herself and designing a healthier training balance56:00 – What’s next: May competitions and a new chapter on her terms
125. Dare #10 Laugh at Your Own Drama: The Secret to Emotional Fluidity
07:59||Ep. 125ver found yourself spiralling over something tiny? Like stubbing your toe and suddenly rethinking your whole life?Welcome to this week’s Dare Club episode: Laugh at Your Own Drama.We’re diving into the art of emotional fluidity — how to stop fighting your feelings, ride the wave, and even find humour in your own chaos. Because here’s the truth: you can’t be stressed and amused at the same time. Laughter literally breaks your brain’s stress loop.In this episode, Michelle shares one of her own “mid-meltdown” moments, explains why your brain loves drama, and how to flip emotional overreactions into moments of power and perspective.💥 This week’s dare: Catch yourself mid-drama — and laugh. Out loud.Because you can’t be in crisis and in control at the same time.🎧 Tune in if you’re ready to swap your spirals for smirks and take your emotions a little less seriously.#DareClub #SheWhoDaresWinsPodcast
124. Bravery, Boundaries, and Skinny Dipping into Self-Discovery with Sara Barnes
53:40||Season 4, Ep. 124This week, Michelle sits down with writer, swimmer, and all-round adventurer Sara Barnes, whose story is a masterclass in resilience and reinvention. After surviving major heart surgery and multiple health setbacks, Sara turned to the freezing lakes of Cumbria for healing — and found her purpose.From the icy calm of cold-water swimming to the realities of rejection, imposter syndrome, and late-life confidence, Sara’s story is a reminder that it’s never too late to start over or to finally back yourself.🗝️ Key TakeawaysLife’s curveballs are invitations, not endings. Sara’s health scares forced her to slow down and realign her priorities.Community saves us. Cold-water swimming connected her to a supportive world of women who push past comfort zones together.Rejection isn’t failure. Years of “no” built the tenacity that led to her first published book.Dreams lose their sparkle when they become reality — and that’s okay. The growth is in the pursuit, not the finish line.Boundaries build better relationships. Saying “no” turned Sara’s life from lonely to aligned.Confidence isn’t a switch. Even the boldest women still battle self-doubt — the trick is doing it anyway.Timestamps0:00 — Welcome & Sara’s story: surviving heart surgery and finding perspective0:03:40 — Grief, loss, and how writing helped her heal0:11:50 — The Instagram trap: learning to disconnect and reconnect with real life0:12:18 — The unexpected beginning: how cold-water swimming saved her0:19:48 — From ugly duckling to swan: the boss who underestimated her0:26:20 — [Mid-Roll Ad Slot] + Identity shift — becoming an author and imposter syndrome0:33:45 — The truth about chasing dreams and learning to enjoy the process0:43:30 — Skinny dipping, confidence, and helping women find freedom0:52:55 — Bonus Episode begins: Quick-fire dares and reflections