Sex in Space

On today’s episode of the podcast, Toshi had the opportunity to talk with Verity Johnson, also known as Miss Vee. Verity is a newspaper columnist, MC at Men of Steel, New Zealand’s only male strip club, and the owner of Club Burlesque – New Zealand’s first burlesque club.  Together they spoke about:  What burlesque is and what it celebrates Why Verity started Club Burlesque What you can expect if you go to a show The kind of audiences you’ll find at Club Burlesque How burlesque encourages audiences to reconsider societal attitudes towards sex  What it teaches us about desire The relationship between burlesque, freedom and sexuality  And what you might get out of an experience at a burlesque show. Club Burlesque’s 2024 season runs from July 26 – September 13 in Auckland, New Zealand. Check out Club Burlesque (and find tickets) here: https://theclubburlesque.com/ Find Club Burlesque on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clubburlesquenz/?hl=en Timestamps:  00:00 – Intro  00:33 – What is burlesque?  02:54 – Understanding eros 03:25 – Why Verity started Club Burlesque 04:44 – What you can expect from a night at Club Burlesque  06:31 – Misconceptions about burlesque  07:44 – Redefining how we think about society’s attitudes towards sex  09:05 – What burlesque teaches you about desire 11:38 – On not being afraid of your sexuality 14:10 – Club Burlesque vs Men of Steel  15:04 – Seeing Auckland reclaim its sexy side  17:00 – How can we start to deconstruct shame in society?  18:42 – Where you can find more information about Club Burlesque 18:55 – Give yourself permission to enjoy sex and desire  19:52 – Conclusion   

On this episode of the podcast, Tim and Toshi had the opportunity to talk with Daniel Principe, a passionate youth advocate and educator. He champions boys across Australia to challenge culture and aspire to live courageous, respectful and empathetic lives.  In the podcast Daniel, Tim and Toshi spoke about:  What ideas are being communicated to young boys about masculinity How to navigate peer pressure Why it’s important to choose your friends well  What Daniel’s work looks like in practice What young people really think about Andrew Tate Why the sigma meme is so popular with young boys The realities of young people’s porn use How parents and caregivers can support their kids And why soft skills are so important Daniel is a board member of the DART Institute, an ambassador for the Women’s Resilience Centre and an ambassador for the national campaign Consent Can’t Wait. Having presented to tens of thousands of young people in every Australian state and territory, Daniel is no stranger to the complex challenges that our distracted digital world presents in adolescence. By partnering with schools and communities, Daniel encourages young people to recognise and resist distorted attitudes towards bodies, relationships and sex. He invites his audiences to instead aspire to healthy relationships built on mutual respect and empathy. Daniel is a regular guest on TV, radio and podcasts to discuss healthy masculinity, consent, respectful relationships and the cultural challenges young people are facing. None of these evolving challenges sway Daniel’s confidence that all young people can flourish if we create spaces for them to be their best selves. You can check out Daniel here: https://www.danielprincipe.com.au/ Find him on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/lastoftheromans/ Timestamps:  00:00 – Intro  01:01 – Who Daniel is and what he does  05:13 – Championing boys, challenging culture 06:05 – What ideas are being communicated to boys about masculinity? 11:50 – Unpacking where our desires come from  14:32 – Advice for navigating social pressure and why it’s important to choose your friends well 17:15 – Social expectations in sex and relationships  18:22 – Responses of young people to Daniel’s workshops  20:04 – What Daniel’s work looks like in practice 24:33 – Why we need to have empathy for young people navigating online spaces 30:41 – Young people’s thoughts on Andrew Tate 35:52 – Understanding the appeal of the sigma meme  40:05 – The realities of young people’s porn use 48:23 – Why soft skills are so important  51:03 – How parents and caregivers can help  56:44 – Daniel's message for young people  58:32 – Conclusion  -----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace

On today’s episode of the podcast, Toshi was thrilled to be able to talk with Dr. Alex Layendecker of the Advanced Spacelife Research Institute (ASRI) about all things sex in space. Together, they spoke about:  Why there was a need for a private research organisation to investigate sex in space When we might expect to see regular people going to space The short and long-term risks of sex in space Has anyone had sex in space?  The first married couple in space Why ASRI’s research focuses on more than just the act of sex And how humans might evolve in off-Earth environments  ASRI is a 501c3 non-profit research organisation that is dedicated to the study of human sexuality and reproductive factors as they apply to outer space environments. Dr. Layendecker is the founder and current director of ASRI. He is a 2008 graduate of the United States Air Force Academy and served seven years as a USAF space operations officer for spacecraft launch and recovery, before transferring to the USAF Reserve as an HH-60G helicopter pilot for Combat Search and Rescue. He completed a Master of Public Health (2013) and PhD in Human Sexuality (2016) for the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, where his doctoral research focused on human sexuality and reproduction in off-Earth environments, the history of research in this area, and the research gaps that must be filled in the future in order to make long-term settlement of other worlds a viable possibility.   Timestamps:  00:00 – Intro  01:19 – What is the Advanced Spacelife Research Institute all about?  02:36 – Dr. Layendecker’s background and research 06:23 – Old space vs new space 08:30 – When might regular people have access to space? 11:29 – The race to fill all the research gaps 13:57 – The first symposium for the study of human reproduction and sexual health in space 15:09 – Short and long-term risks about sex in space 17:40 – Why this research is so important  21:45 – Has anyone had sex in space?  31:20 – The animals that have mated in space 32:11 – Why the research focus is not just on the act of sex  34:36 – How will humans evolve in off-Earth environments?  38:01 – Funding research into sex in space  41:30 – The future of space travel  43:28 – Would Dr. Layendecker travel to space?  46:15 – Conclusion   Find more about Dr. Layendecker and the Advanced Spacelife Research Institute here: ASRI: https://www.asri.space/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/astrosexresearch Twitter: https://x.com/ASRI4Space  Links mentioned in the podcast:  The International Scientific Symposium for the Study of Human Reproduction & Sexual Health in Space: https://www.space-reproduction.org/ SpaceBorn United: https://www.spacebornunited.com/ The Overview Effect by Frank White: https://www.amazon.com.au/Overview-Effect-Exploration-Evolution-Library/dp/162410262X 

On today’s episode of the podcast, Tim had the opportunity to speak with Dr Evan Goldstein, leading anal health expert in the U.S. Dr Goldstein is the founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, a first of its kind health practice specialising in gay men’s sexual health and wellness, and has just published a new book, Butt Seriously: The Definitive Guide to Anal Health, Pleasure, and Everything In-Between.  Together, Tim and Dr. Goldstein spoke about anal health and pleasure, hygiene practices – including why you should avoid using wet wipes and bidets- debunked common assumptions and misconceptions, and more.  Check out Butt Seriously here:  https://a.co/d/cRLA0vF Find Dr. Goldstein here: https://drevangoldstein.com/ -----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

On this episode of the podcast, we were thrilled to be joined by Dr. Ian Kerner, licensed psychotherapist, lecturer, and New York Times bestselling author of books including She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman, and most recently, So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex: Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives. Together, Ian and Tim spoke about the importance of prioritizing pleasure in sexual relationships, the need for accurate sex ed and the impact that pornography has on sexual attitudes and behaviours. They also discussed the rise of sexual anxiety, the challenges that couples face in maintaining desire and the need for open communication. Find Dr. Ian here: https://www.iankerner.com/ Find his TED Talk, 'A sex therapist's secret to rediscovering your spark' here: https://www.ted.com/talks/ian_kerner_a_sex_therapist_s_secret_to_rediscovering_your_spark?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare-----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

On today’s episode of the podcast, we were privileged to be joined by Madam Bella Cummins, the owner and operator of Bella’s Hacienda Ranch, in Wells, Nevada. Bella’s Hacienda Ranch is the only legal brothel run entirely by sex workers, and it attracts customers from all over the US and beyond.  At 74 years old, Cummins is the longest serving living female legal brothel owner in the US. In 1987, she acquired the struggling Hacienda Ranch Brothel and transformed it into the famed "Bella's Hacienda." Leveraging her understanding of business and financial expertise, Cummins successfully turned the establishment into one of the most prosperous adult entertainment destinations in the state. During the COVID pandemic, when the legal brothels were shuttered by Nevada’s governor, Cummins creatively obtained an escort license for her business, allowing sex workers to sustain their income by providing non-sexual companionship services.  In an era when sex workers were often disparaged and marginalized, Cummins pioneered a revolutionary approach within the industry. As the only legal brothel entirely run by sex workers, Bella’s Hacienda eliminated exploitative elements, creating a female-led workplace culture centred around trust and teamwork. This environment allowed sex workers to find camaraderie, support, and personal growth, challenging stereotypes and fostering a more positive image of women in the adult entertainment sector. Check out Bella's Hacienda Ranch here: https://bellas.us/ Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro  02:06 – Bella's background 03:49 – Bella's experience of sex ed  05:23 – How Bella was introduced to brothels  09:00 – Bella's vision and mission   11:10 – Where Bella’s attitude came from   13:40 – Thoughts on Madams in other houses 14:26 – Lessons learned in life 16:14 – The difference between sensuality and sex  17:20 – Why Bella’s offers adult male virgins a discount 24:29 – Advice to young women wanting to get into the industry 27:06 – Bella’s relationship advice 30:26 – Bella's plans for the future   32:48 – Why there is a need for brothels  34:30 – Bella's message to listeners  36:04 – Conclusion -----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

On today’s episode of the podcast, Toshi was able to sit down with Shaun Hill, the ReWired Project Lead, from the New Zealand Drug Foundation. ReWired is a non-judgemental support group for people who want to bring their party’n’play into focus.  Together, Shaun and Toshi had a conversation about chemsex, the ReWired project, sex, drug use and consent, communication and pleasure.  Check out ReWired here: https://www.rewired.org.nz/ -----------------  TIMESTAMPS:  00:00 – Intro 01:38 – How Shaun's perceptions around drug use changed over time  05:58 – What does chemsex and party’n’play mean? 07:53 – What is the ReWired project all about? 09:50 – How ReWired has changed over time 11:31 – The value of hearing people’s journeys 13:28 – Reflecting on the Four F's: friends, family, fucks and finances  16:16 – Sex should be about fun and pleasure  17:42 – Challenges working at ReWired  20:09 – How to navigate consent when drug use is involved  23:49 – How to navigate consent in spaces where it’s given non-verbally  28:43 – One thing Shaun wishes more people knew about consent 31:50 – Where to find more info about ReWired  32:36 – Conclusion  -----------------    Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.    Follow us here:  https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom  https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom  https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom  https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace   For more info, check out our website at:  https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

For this episode of the podcast, Tim had the opportunity to talk with Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers, a sex therapist, founder of the Northwest Institute on Intimacy, a former professor of Marriage and Family therapy at Seattle Pacific University, an AASECT-certified supervisor, mother, wife and author. Her mission is to provide education and tools that empower people to rise above sexual shame and embrace their value. Together Tim and Dr. Tina discuss sexual shame, its origins, the role of religion, effective parenting strategies and more.  Find Dr. Tina here: https://www.tinaschermersellers.com/ Check out her book, Shameless Parenting: Everything You Need to Raise Shame-free, Confident Kids and Heal Your Shame Too: https://a.co/d/efnEOkV Explore Dr Tina’s other book, Sex, God and the Conservative Church: https://a.co/d/eaU5zMK -----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/ 

For this episode we were lucky enough to be joined by Dr. Fiona Vera-Gray, one of the UK’s leading feminist academics working on sexual violence, and the Deputy director at the Child and Women Abuse Studies Unit at London Metropolitan University. Earlier this year, Fiona published her book, Women on Porn, where she interviewed 100 women on their experiences with pornography – how they first encountered it, how they consume it, how it has affected their sex lives and relationships, what they like and what they don’t. Toshi and Fiona spoke about what inspired the book, how people have responded to it, how porn impacts our sex lives and the conflicting feelings that many women have towards their porn use.  Check out Fiona here: https://www.fionaveragray.com/ Find Women on Porn here: https://www.fionaveragray.com/book-women-on-porn.html -----------------Timestamps:  00:00 – Intro  01:14 – What kicked off the book?  02:58 – What are sexual scripts?  04:29 – How does porn impact our sex lives?  06:26 – The problem with the Fast and Furious analogy  08:03 – Balancing regulation and privacy  09:49 – Removing the judgement from the conversation 13:33 – It’s not as simple as pro-porn or anti-porn 15:34 - What women say about their first sexual experiences  17:30 – Advice if you feel conflicted about your porn use  22:05 – How people have responded to Women on Porn  24:00 – What positive impacts can porn have? 27:32 – Fiona’s challenges working in this space  29:24 – Men’s responses to her work  30:51 – Supporting young people  32:50 – Women’s responses to Fiona’s work 34:32 – Feeling validated by other women's experiences 36:00 – What about feminist/ethical porn?  38:09 - How our sexual desires are shaped by culture  40:26 – Conclusion  -----------------  Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.  Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/