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Sex in Space
#67 - Dr. Ian Kerner / Sex ed, desire and communication
On this episode of the podcast, we were thrilled to be joined by Dr. Ian Kerner, licensed psychotherapist, lecturer, and New York Times bestselling author of books including She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman, and most recently, So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex: Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives.
Together, Ian and Tim spoke about the importance of prioritizing pleasure in sexual relationships, the need for accurate sex ed and the impact that pornography has on sexual attitudes and behaviours. They also discussed the rise of sexual anxiety, the challenges that couples face in maintaining desire and the need for open communication.
Find Dr. Ian here: https://www.iankerner.com/
Find his TED Talk, 'A sex therapist's secret to rediscovering your spark' here: https://www.ted.com/talks/ian_kerner_a_sex_therapist_s_secret_to_rediscovering_your_spark?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare
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Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy.
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76. #76 - Catherine Carr / Unpacking 'About the Boys'
45:21||Ep. 76Tim was joined by Catherine Carr for this episode – Catherine is producer of the acclaimed BBC Radio 4 series 'About The Boys.' This insightful five-part series takes a deep dive into the lives of teenage boys in the UK, exploring their challenges, fears, and hopes in a world that's rapidly changing. The show has been praised for its honest and raw portrayal of boys' experiences, offering a platform for their voices to be heard. Catherine, who is also a mother of boys, brings a unique and empathetic perspective to the series, making it a must-listen for anyone interested in the lives of young men today. Listen to ‘About the Boys’ here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yshm/episodes/player Freddie Feltham, mentioned in the podcast: https://www.theguardian.com/news/2024/jan/06/im-andrew-tates-audience-and-i-know-why-he-appeals-to-young-men Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro 01:26 – Catherine’s background 03:26 – What ‘About the Boys’ is all about 06:14 – The two stories that kicked off the project 11:37 – How Catherine put the series together 12:47 – Societal perceptions of young boys 16:29 – Letting the boys tell their story 18:30 – The impact of social media on boys 21:03 – Problematic male influencers 24:51 – The gaps in education for young people 29:00 – Where young people are learning from 31:45 – Tips for talking with kids about sexuality and relationships 33:17 – The spaces boys inhabit: real and online 37:41 – The importance of honest conversations 40:41 – Ending on a note of optimism 41:27 – Will there be an ‘About the Girls’? 43:10 – Conclusion ----------------- Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy. Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/75. #75 - Verity Johnson / Male strip clubs - a lesson on female sexuality
25:57||Ep. 75Toshi spoke with Verity Johnson, also known as Miss Vee, who MC’s for Men of Steel, New Zealand’s only male strip club. Toshi and Verity had a conversation about what audience members can expect from a night at Men of Steel, Verity’s advice for anyone thinking of going but who might be a little nervous, as well as what she’s learned about female sexuality in New Zealand from working at Men of Steel – including the differences between different generations of women and their attitudes towards sexuality, and tips for becoming less apologetic about your sexuality and desires as a female. Check out Men of Steel here: https://www.menofsteel.co.nz/ Find them on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clubmenofsteel/?hl=en Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro 00:40 – What is Men of Steel? 02:35 – How people respond to the experience 03:48 – What does a typical night look like at Men of Steel? 06:55 – Who goes to this male strip club? 09:25 – Female sexuality in New Zealand 13:07 – What to know if you feel nervous about going to Men of Steel 15:00 – What Miss Vee wishes people knew about Men of Steel 16:58 – Views around male stripping over the past 25 years 18:54 – Different generational attitudes towards sex 22:16 – Advice on embracing your sexuality 23:54 – Listen to this if you’re thinking about coming to Men of Steel 24:28 – Ticket info 24:42 – Conclusion ----------------- Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy. Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/74. #74 - Kate Barnhart / Supporting LGBTQ+ homeless youth
14:39||Ep. 74For this episode, Toshi was joined by Kate Barnhart from New Alternatives NYC, a multi-service drop-in centre for LGBT homeless youth and young adults in New York City. They provide a range of services, everything from food, court advocacy, school supplies and supportive counselling. Together, Kate and Toshi spoke about the work that New Alternatives does, and why it’s so important. Find New Alternatives NYC here: https://www.newalternativesnyc.org/ Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro 00:30 – Why LGBTQ+ youth are more at risk of being homeless 01:56 – What services does New Alternatives NYC offer? 03:31 – Meeting mental health needs 05:28 – How LGBTQ+ youth respond to the services offered by New Alternatives 06:04 – Memorable moments working at New Alternatives 08:43 – Who volunteers at New Alternatives 10:12 – Why Kate founded New Alternatives 11:42 – What Kate’s learned from working here 12:42 – Why this job is like solving a puzzle 13:24 – How listeners can support New Alternatives NYC ----------------- Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy. Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/Sex in Space / Trailer
03:04|Sex in Space is a weekly podcast where we have open-minded conversations, delving into sex across all its infinite dimensions. Stories and voices from all genders, ages, relationships, life stages, ethnicities, walks of life, professions and ways of being in the universe.Available everywhere extraordinary podcasts are found. Subscribe to make sure you never miss an episode!Check out the full podcast episodes mentioned in the trailer:Dr Laurie Mintz / Satisfying sex lives: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/26-laurie-mintz-satisfying-sex-lives/id1554815508?i=1000622992065Vanessa Hamilton / Sex ed for parents: top tips for tricky talks: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/38-vanessa-hamilton-sex-ed-for-parents-top-tips-for/id1554815508?i=1000633155903Dr Jane Cherrington / How to talk with your kids about porn: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/43-dr-jane-cherrington-how-to-talk-with-your-kids-about-porn/id1554815508?i=1000641628876Morgana O'Reilly / Let's talk bodies: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/30-morgana-oreilly-lets-talk-bodies/id1554815508?i=1000626751039Michelle Hardenbrook / Owning the OnlyFans side-hustle: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/23-michelle-hardenbrook-owning-the-onlyfans-side-hustle/id1554815508?i=1000613465077Shaneel Lal / Banning conversion therapy in NZ: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/37-shaneel-lal-banning-conversion-therapy-in-nz/id1554815508?i=1000632494766Alex Layendecker / Sex in space: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/69-dr-alex-layendecker-sex-in-space/id1554815508?i=100066303433173. #73 - Susan Bratton / An intimacy expert's guide to great sex
38:21||Ep. 73Toshi was joined by the wonderful Susan Bratton for today’s episode. Susan is an intimacy expert to millions, who is known as an ‘orgasmanaut’ and is an advocate for all those who desire intimacy and passion their whole life long. She's created a whole bunch of techniques that transform “having sex” into making love, and is the bestselling author and publisher of an incredible 44 books. In this episode, Toshi and Susan spoke about why sex is a lifelong skill, the different kinds of orgasms the human body can experience, why bedroom communication skills are so important and how to get better at them, Susan’s top tips for having a great sex life, how to figure out your relationship values, and how to use erotic playdates to add variety to your sex life. Find more of Susan here: https://susanbratton.com/ Find her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanbratton Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro 01:20 – Susan the ‘orgasmanaut’ 02:08 – What is an extended orgasm? 04:15 – What is an expanded orgasm? 06:07 – Susan’s experience with orgasms 07:43 – Susan's sex advice for younger people 11:00 – Matriarchal perspectives on sex 12:00 – Understanding pleasure and the female body 12:53 – The three ‘prongs’ to great sex 14:30 – The important thing to do to have a great sex life 16:21 – The sexual soulmate pact 21:03 – Working out what you want in bed 22:55 – How to communicate what you want with a partner 26:45 – Sharing favourite frames after you make love 28:51 – Figuring out your relationship values 32:55 – Using erotic playdates to add variety to your sex life 36:01 – Summary and conclusion ----------------- Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy. Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/72. #72 - William Moore / Exploring Male Girth Enhancement - the science and the impacts
32:40||Ep. 72In this episode, Tim had the opportunity to talk with William Moore, founder of the AdvancedYOU clinic, and developer of PhalloFILL Male Girth Enhancement. They spoke about all things penis girth enhancement, from the reasons people seek this help and treatment, to the processes of the procedure, the effects and benefits, the impacts of pornography on male body image, and the future of biohacking your health. Learn more about PhalloFILL: https://phallofill.com/ Find more about William here: https://advanced-you.com/ ----------------- Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy. Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.tiktok.com/@sexinspacedotcom https://www.facebook.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace For more info, check out our website at: https://www.sexinspace.com/71. #71 - Verity Johnson / Club Burlesque: celebrating freedom, sexuality and desire
21:07||Ep. 71On today’s episode of the podcast, Toshi had the opportunity to talk with Verity Johnson, also known as Miss Vee. Verity is a newspaper columnist, MC at Men of Steel, New Zealand’s only male strip club, and the owner of Club Burlesque – New Zealand’s first burlesque club. Together they spoke about: What burlesque is and what it celebrates Why Verity started Club Burlesque What you can expect if you go to a show The kind of audiences you’ll find at Club Burlesque How burlesque encourages audiences to reconsider societal attitudes towards sex What it teaches us about desire The relationship between burlesque, freedom and sexuality And what you might get out of an experience at a burlesque show. Club Burlesque’s 2024 season runs from July 26 – September 13 in Auckland, New Zealand. Check out Club Burlesque (and find tickets) here: https://theclubburlesque.com/ Find Club Burlesque on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clubburlesquenz/?hl=en Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro 00:33 – What is burlesque? 02:54 – Understanding eros 03:25 – Why Verity started Club Burlesque 04:44 – What you can expect from a night at Club Burlesque 06:31 – Misconceptions about burlesque 07:44 – Redefining how we think about society’s attitudes towards sex 09:05 – What burlesque teaches you about desire 11:38 – On not being afraid of your sexuality 14:10 – Club Burlesque vs Men of Steel 15:04 – Seeing Auckland reclaim its sexy side 17:00 – How can we start to deconstruct shame in society? 18:42 – Where you can find more information about Club Burlesque 18:55 – Give yourself permission to enjoy sex and desire 19:52 – Conclusion70. #70 - Daniel Principe / Empowering boys to navigate masculinity and culture
01:02:54||Ep. 70On this episode of the podcast, Tim and Toshi had the opportunity to talk with Daniel Principe, a passionate youth advocate and educator. He champions boys across Australia to challenge culture and aspire to live courageous, respectful and empathetic lives. In the podcast Daniel, Tim and Toshi spoke about: What ideas are being communicated to young boys about masculinity How to navigate peer pressure Why it’s important to choose your friends well What Daniel’s work looks like in practice What young people really think about Andrew Tate Why the sigma meme is so popular with young boys The realities of young people’s porn use How parents and caregivers can support their kids And why soft skills are so important Daniel is a board member of the DART Institute, an ambassador for the Women’s Resilience Centre and an ambassador for the national campaign Consent Can’t Wait. Having presented to tens of thousands of young people in every Australian state and territory, Daniel is no stranger to the complex challenges that our distracted digital world presents in adolescence. By partnering with schools and communities, Daniel encourages young people to recognise and resist distorted attitudes towards bodies, relationships and sex. He invites his audiences to instead aspire to healthy relationships built on mutual respect and empathy. Daniel is a regular guest on TV, radio and podcasts to discuss healthy masculinity, consent, respectful relationships and the cultural challenges young people are facing. None of these evolving challenges sway Daniel’s confidence that all young people can flourish if we create spaces for them to be their best selves. You can check out Daniel here: https://www.danielprincipe.com.au/ Find him on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/lastoftheromans/ Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro 01:01 – Who Daniel is and what he does 05:13 – Championing boys, challenging culture 06:05 – What ideas are being communicated to boys about masculinity? 11:50 – Unpacking where our desires come from 14:32 – Advice for navigating social pressure and why it’s important to choose your friends well 17:15 – Social expectations in sex and relationships 18:22 – Responses of young people to Daniel’s workshops 20:04 – What Daniel’s work looks like in practice 24:33 – Why we need to have empathy for young people navigating online spaces 30:41 – Young people’s thoughts on Andrew Tate 35:52 – Understanding the appeal of the sigma meme 40:05 – The realities of young people’s porn use 48:23 – Why soft skills are so important 51:03 – How parents and caregivers can help 56:44 – Daniel's message for young people 58:32 – Conclusion ----------------- Check out our books, 'How to talk with your kids about porn' and 'The Organ Education Forgot', available at https://www.sexinspace.com/books to download or buy. Follow us here: https://www.instagram.com/sexinspacedotcom https://www.youtube.com/@sexinspace69. Dr Alex Layendecker / Sex in space
47:34||Ep. 69On today’s episode of the podcast, Toshi was thrilled to be able to talk with Dr. Alex Layendecker of the Advanced Spacelife Research Institute (ASRI) about all things sex in space. Together, they spoke about: Why there was a need for a private research organisation to investigate sex in space When we might expect to see regular people going to space The short and long-term risks of sex in space Has anyone had sex in space? The first married couple in space Why ASRI’s research focuses on more than just the act of sex And how humans might evolve in off-Earth environments ASRI is a 501c3 non-profit research organisation that is dedicated to the study of human sexuality and reproductive factors as they apply to outer space environments. Dr. Layendecker is the founder and current director of ASRI. He is a 2008 graduate of the United States Air Force Academy and served seven years as a USAF space operations officer for spacecraft launch and recovery, before transferring to the USAF Reserve as an HH-60G helicopter pilot for Combat Search and Rescue. He completed a Master of Public Health (2013) and PhD in Human Sexuality (2016) for the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, where his doctoral research focused on human sexuality and reproduction in off-Earth environments, the history of research in this area, and the research gaps that must be filled in the future in order to make long-term settlement of other worlds a viable possibility. Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro 01:19 – What is the Advanced Spacelife Research Institute all about? 02:36 – Dr. Layendecker’s background and research 06:23 – Old space vs new space 08:30 – When might regular people have access to space? 11:29 – The race to fill all the research gaps 13:57 – The first symposium for the study of human reproduction and sexual health in space 15:09 – Short and long-term risks about sex in space 17:40 – Why this research is so important 21:45 – Has anyone had sex in space? 31:20 – The animals that have mated in space 32:11 – Why the research focus is not just on the act of sex 34:36 – How will humans evolve in off-Earth environments? 38:01 – Funding research into sex in space 41:30 – The future of space travel 43:28 – Would Dr. Layendecker travel to space? 46:15 – Conclusion Find more about Dr. Layendecker and the Advanced Spacelife Research Institute here: ASRI: https://www.asri.space/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/astrosexresearch Twitter: https://x.com/ASRI4Space Links mentioned in the podcast: The International Scientific Symposium for the Study of Human Reproduction & Sexual Health in Space: https://www.space-reproduction.org/ SpaceBorn United: https://www.spacebornunited.com/ The Overview Effect by Frank White: https://www.amazon.com.au/Overview-Effect-Exploration-Evolution-Library/dp/162410262X