cover art for 63. How to be who we truly are in relationship?

Relationship-smart women

63. How to be who we truly are in relationship?

Ep. 63

In this episode, I talk to my beautiful, soulful friend Kris Franken.

So many people ask me how they can find themselves, be true to themselves and still be in relationship. It can be tricky to navigate. We fear that if we change and become more true to ourselves that we will lose our partner. We fear that authenticity and integrity means loss of connection. Well, today I called in Kris to talk to us about this because Kris, in my opinion is the epitomy of being true to herself, of being wildly, truly authentic, and she manages all this within her 20+year relationship.

Kris shared her integrity and authenticiy with me on the Beauty Load podcast where we talk about our own true beauty.

Here is the link:

About Kris

My guest on this episode is my friend, author, mentor, healer and way shower, Kris Franken.

Kris is a spiritual teacher who has a background in psychology as well as in the magazine publishing world and is the author of 2 books and creator of multiple oracle card sets. One of the reasons that I really wanted to share her with you and get her wisdom into the Beauty Load is that Kris is having a deep love affair with mother earth – her take on beauty comes from a place of being deeply deeply connected in the experience of living in her body as a spiritual being in amongst nature and the miracle of life.

Where to find Kris

Check Kris out on Instagram @kris_franken

Kris has her second book,Wild hearted purpose which is out now.

All details are at: 

And here is her website:

About Nicole

Nicole Mathieson has impacted the lives of thousands of women through her writing,

speaking, podcasts and work as a counsellor.

In the therapy room, Nicole helps Individuals and couples to find a deeper and more stable connection to themselves as a foundation for their relationship with life and each other. Nicole is passionate about helping people in practical ways to feel safe and more conencted within their relationships.


Instagram @nicole.mathieson

Buy the book

Get the course

More episodes

View all episodes

  • 62. 62. Does your partner have sex tantrums?

    Does your partner have sex tantrums?How does it make you feel?How do they feel?What is going on and how do you get out of the downward spiral of need, guilt, obligation, and then less desire?Listen in as we unpack this very common dynamic, try not to generalise too much, and as I give you a few pointers to get back to sex without the guilt, anxiety and pressure.For more exploration on sex tantrums check out Emily Nagoski's book Come As You Are. Check out my other podcast The Beauty Load, how to feel good enough in your body here - @nicole.mathieson @the.beautyloadBuy the book
  • 61. Why is intimacy so darn hard?

    Intimacy (and I am not talking about sex), in my opinion is one of the hardest things in the whole world, but also, something that gives us the deepest most heart fulfilling satisfaction. Gah, what a dilemma! It would be so much easier if we could just get all operational and robotic and not have to have those hard conversations, get vulnerable and honest with ourselves and then share it with another....we could just get on with it. But alas, as humans, we are drawn back in to the fray.To do it best, intimacy starts within with an intimate relationship with ourselves. So what does that look like? In this episode I share my very messy intimate journey that led me to be an intimacy and relationship coach and share with you what getting intimate entails. This episode was inspired by an interview on @drkirstyseward 's podcast. You can listen to that here - out my other podcast The Beauty Load, how to feel good enough in your body here - @nicole.mathieson @the.beautyloadBuy the book
  • Trailer - The Beauty Load podcast

    Hello ,it's me Nicole Mathieson and I would like to introduce you to my brand new podcast; The Beauty Load, How to feel good enough in your body.This podcast is inspired by my book also called the Beauty Load in which I explore this exhausting pressure, anxiety and insecurity that many if not all women feel in regards to the way they look.In this podcast, I aim to explore how the Beauty Load is felt by different people, in different countries, different cultures and sub-cultures and with different experts.I aim to normalise the struggle of the Beauty Load.I aim to question the culture, the expectations and the high standards we hold ourselves to.I aim to raise awareness of how much of a privilege it is to even worry about this. But also to raise awareness of how much we are trapped and limited by this constant insecurity and anxiety the way that we look creates in us.Most of all, I hope that in all this exploring we feel a little bit less alone and we can minimise the load that we carry, so that we can just get on with living our lives and being our beautiful, radiant selves.Website @nicole.mathieson @the.beautyloadBuy the book
  • 60: Slow living for better relationships with Rachelle Glendon

    In this episode we talk to Slow Living coach Rachelle Glendon about the benefits of concsiously slowing down on all of our relationships. In this chat we talk about; * implementing some matriachal ways, which sound so good * tips for slowing down * how slow living challenges your own unhealthy beliefs and invites healing * how slow living moves you from resentment and passive aggressive communication to nurture. You can catch Rachelle at and @howtoliveslow on the gram.
  • 059: Why body image is a relationship issue

    Why is a relationship coach / therapist writing a book about body image I hear you ask? That's because the Beauty Load, body image, how we feel about ourselves and our confidence with fitting in in the world, are all relationship issues. I don't know about you but my body was front and centre as I stepped into relationship and sexual intimacy as a young adult. Listen in as I share how my book The Beauty Load is a relationship book in so many ways. Grab your copy of the book at Follow me on Instagram @nicole.mathieson Take care Nicole
  • 058: Your man doesn't "get" your Beauty Load stress

    Sometimes we feel wrong for feeling the Beauty Load, especially when our males partner's or friends just don't get it. But the stress and concern of the Beauty Load is real and in this episode I share an example that demonstrates how differently the Load is experienced, generally speaking, by women and men. Buy the book The Beauty Load follow me on instagram @nicole.mathieson
  • 057: The Beauty Load intro author reading

    In this special Beauty Load episode of the podcast, I am reading the first chapter (the introduction) of my new book The Beauty Load, how to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty.  The message of my book is basically that you feeling not "enough" about your looks is not personal, it is not about you and your looks but instead it is inevitable if you have grown up in a culture with such toxic messaging and an obsession with beauty.  To buy the book, go to or pop over to Amazon, Booktopia or The Book depository. 
  • 056: What NOT to do with trauma and big emotions

    There is a lot going on in the world at the moment that can leave us feeling a bit or a lot traumatised. I am inspired to share this "what not to do" episode, because of what I see happening around me, and that is people who have been through a lot, not allowing themselves the space and nurture they need, because there are others struggling more than them. We compare and we think "I should not be worried!" but this just keeps us stuck. @nicole.mathieson