Jake Yapp presents: Not Today, Thank You

How about you?But tbh most of the podcast is about Flat Pack Furniture and Christmas Trees and similar toothless observational comedy, gumming fruitlessly on the playpen bars of satire. I was thinking about Peter Mandelson, though, and I was thinking during the podcast how satisfying it would be, if ever I met him, to be able to say to him, 'you're a used condom, filled with dog shit'. That's pretty harsh, so I didn't say it in the podcast. But I keep coming back to it, because it's such a specific, and vivid, and revolting image, that it would stay with him, forever. He's been behind so many big, and grotesquely avaricious decisions taken on the taxpayers' behalf. But, really, don't take these episode notes as being representative of the podcast. It's quite jolly, really. Oh, and Flipping Eckhart Tolle is back xx

Hello! This is not a normal episode, but instructions and guide tracks for anyone who would like to sing on the podcast's Christmas song. It's going to be glorious - Harry the Piano has arranged it and played bassoonPIANO I MEANT TO SAY PIANO and my extraordinarily talented brother Joe has done a vocal arrangement which I have massacred on his behalf. Here is a folder containing the guide scores and the guide mp3 for each part, or you can listen to the podcast. Please can you send me your recordings by (and including) Dec 15th and I will assemble them into something.https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1EBu8qSJ7GTPQDUxI43dqQIuPWz_zHExn?usp=sharingALSO! If it's easier to split each line into two halves, part a and part b, so you don't have to memorise the whole thing in one go, DO THAT.Thank you for taking part! I am dead excited! xx

Ahhh, the Trainline. I love it, you love it, we could conjugate all night over that one. Some of your RFK poetry has been 'trickling in' *vomits everywhere* - thank you for that. I think. No progress on the singing front, but we may have an emergency episode before next week. Email itsnottodaypod at gmail dot com with any old gubbins.

In which we '''''''''enjoy''''''''' some '''''''''poetry''''''''' . Welcoming all thoughts on the new email: itsnottodaypod at gmail dot com. Also a new choir idea thing, and assorted thoughts on AI, therapy, and The Very Hungry Caterpillar. There's thirty bleeps in this one. I'm my own worst enemy. Don't forget to join us on the socials - Julie is doing amazing work. @itsnottodaypod on Instagram. Ooh, and Tiktok, too, for the under-75s...

It's... Lovely to be back! How are you? It's been er nearly two years, apparently. But it feels like the time is right. And even if it isn't, we're doing it anyway. In the pod I mentioned an interesting youtube video about Superman LOOK I WAS BORN IN 1973 THIS STUFF RESONATES. Here is that video:https://youtu.be/8_AYM_vmH1o?si=grTWl1iyyWFt0dLROh, just to warn you, there's LANGUAGE in this one. Email me ANYTHING AT ALL: jakeyappmusic at gmail dot com. HELLO xxx

In which I finally actually figure out a format for the Unread Book Club...

A post-festive catchup on stuff, and the launch of two new fun talking points. Also some music I've been doing lately and er. Well. There's no skirting round it. A Quick Chat - can we have a Quick Chat? - about Gregg Wallace...

Today! Never heard before* Dora Dale from 2007! Movie trailers courtesy of listener Pat! Music with a Very Slow Crescendo! Berlusconi's Art! Also, can we have a quick show of hands... Are you a Fast Eater or a Slow Eater? Email jakeyappmusic at gmail dot com xxx*Apart from about 60% of the jokes which were repurposed, and not for the first time.

Srsly. The music. And definitely the jokes. What I WILL say, is that if you buy a bed, it should, like, actually function as a bed. You shouldn't have to go back and buy an extra bit, separately, without being told, without which the bed will not function as a bed. You don't go and buy a car, only to be told ohhh if you needed the chassis, that'll be an extra twenty quid. It feels like a shakedown. And another thing, ladies and gentlemen, what about them new ten pees?I made a video of the music part, which I'll put on my new musicky youtube at some point. If you want to stay in the loop on that, honk onto @jake.yapp.music on instabangs isn't it. Ok hugs x