Jake Yapp presents: Not Today, Thank You

Today! Pistachios! Walnuts! And going nuts! Plus, the deeply contradictory nature of the English language.Oh, and here's how to make Muhammarah, courtesy of one of my absolute favourite youtube channels: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uX4TAbr6o5k

Happy Easter! And 'alleluia' as Jacob Rees-Mogg likes to tweet, which feels so appropriate. Today: Home brewing! Tony Blair! Trump doing an impression of a guy called John Barron! Fine. Here's the article I mentioned in the podcast: https://www.lighthousereports.com/investigation/blair-and-the-billionaire/If you fancy supporting this sort of thing, head to patreon.com/jakeyappxx

Today's Metro dissected, for no good reason, and a Pete Hegseth 90s pop rap, because it just absolutely feels like his jam.

In which Eckhart Tolle sings the latest from his new album, 'By Eck', and we perhaps, finally deal with the Rat Situation, after, frankly, a lot of sh*t. Hello!

Hello! This week: By-election trollols, Andy n Mandy, and some STONKING observational comedy for you. I cannot get behind the word stonking. I am sorry. If you'd like to support me in the bizarre output I produce, I *think* there's a paypal QR code on this ep... Join us on Olvid! We're Having Fun. Email itsnottodaypod at gmail.com if you want to come and play.OK CALM DOWN OK BYE XXX

I called this episode that because I think in all my staring-at-my-shoes waffle, I didn't actually mention the bloody URL. All a bit manic. How are you? You alright? Next week will be so much better. SO much. You don't even know.

Sir Jim Ratcliffe feels like the UK has been colonised. NOT BY HIM. Meanwhile, my workroom has been colonised, by an Actual Rat. LOLS APLENTY. Plus an imaginary conversation with an LBC presenter, The Muppets Shawshank Redemption, and your latest Amol Rajan programme formats.

That title is total clickbait m8. Don't fall for it. But a v amusing story for you from Jon Holmes nonetheless. Here are some links which won't make sense until you listen...https://european-alternatives.eu/https://olvid.io/en/Let It Be: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUBjWobCOXX/?igsh=MWRoaW9kdjhtOWZqYou and I: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4HHNEK_ZOg&t=70sVoyager 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i11NQ5XKKREThere ok that's everything bye I need to paint my auntie's floor