Nightly News Roundup

Trump admits his Reflecting Pool sabotage story had no proof, then keeps blaming an Olympian anyway. The DOJ can't document its own Epstein redactions. Lauren Boebert's son faces child exploitation charges. Salmonella jalapeños hit 26 states. Twenty-one straight court losses over phantom voter fraud. Fifty-nine ICE agents made a very bad list. Tape rolls.

El-Sayed's Senate primary win drags out 2001-era Islamophobia while gas and grocery prices stay untouched. Trump claims a ballroom ruling threatens lives while secretly building a bunker underneath. July's jobs report buries 103,000 positions and calls it stability. ICE gets body cameras with a self-serve delete button. And eleven of Trump's lawyers rack up disbarments, guilty pleas, and $148 million in damages. Tape rolls.

Trump pardons a $205 million Medicare fraudster while blaming immigrants for the crime, then guts the 14th Amendment on his way out the door. Gaza's peace plan turns out to be a bunker with a getaway route. The FCC skyboxes with the company it's supposed to regulate, and SpaceX drops 13% the same day its space junk drops on the moon. Tape rolls.

Oil giants bank $93 billion while the planet burns, and Trump's spies stack up in Cuba like an invasion in slow motion. A judge unconvicts an Oath Keeper while mourning democracy in the same breath. RFK Jr. torches his own vaccine advice, and a Teacher of the Year lands in ICE custody straight off the tarmac. Tape rolls.

Capital One blames a money laundering review for dumping Trump's accounts, two months after eating a fine for having no laundering program at all. Jeanine Pirro drops charges against an innocent Olympian and gets called weak for it. The Pentagon crowdsources a war exit strategy over email, and Canada burns while Trump teases a punishment like a season finale. Tape rolls.

Cooper plans two more weeks of war, Trump threatens to withdraw his own AG pick out of spite, and the State Department can't locate Africa on a map it made itself. Kash Patel loses to a guy who called him a chud, four horses get gilded for $5 million, and a wiped phone becomes a federal case. Tape rolls.