Nightly News Roundup

Kash Patel blew an active terror investigation for an X post. The Trump administration's answer to medical debt is more debt. Congress gave veterans a raise by cutting their benefits and named it accordingly. The DOJ's civil rights division sued a city for compensating victims of racism. The Reflecting Pool is a chemical hazard. Special education got shuffled to agencies that are also gutted. DOGE cut $15 million, broke a six-decade eradication program, and now it costs $1 billion to fix. Some days the satire writes itself. Other days it eats livestock alive. Tape rolls.

Trump closed an Iran deal worth $324 billion for a shipping lane Iran already owned. The Reflecting Pool turned green four days after a $14.2 million fix. RFK Jr. broke the vaccine committee and now needs it back before flu season. Rural voters are figuring out the math. A B-52 went down at Edwards. Eight crew members are believed dead. Some days the satire writes itself. Other days it crashes into the Mojave Desert. Tape rolls.

The Situation Room got a new agenda: how do you spin a birthday card where the President signed his name across a cartoon woman's crotch as a gift to a child rapist. The Justice Department memo was supposed to close the Epstein file. Instead it blew the lid off a septic tank. JD Vance believes in a secret cabal of elite predators — his colleagues confirmed it — his colleagues are also the ones running the country. Someone floated pardoning Ghislaine Maxwell and multiple people had to explain out loud why that would be bad. They had to explain this. To each other. In the White House. Tape rolls.

Trump called off an airstrike he announced that morning and declared victory anyway. SpaceX went public at $1.77 trillion and Elon Musk may be a trillionaire by Friday. A housing official briefly ran national intelligence before Congress intervened. The Post Office wants your voter rolls or it's keeping your ballot. Someone wrote a slogan in the White House lawn grass and now the feds are doing forensics on turf. A political assassin pleaded guilty in Minnesota. A UFC octagon on the White House lawn may or may not survive a federal judge. Tape rolls.

A millennial landlord got handed America's intelligence apparatus with orders to gut it before anyone qualified shows up. The Strategic Petroleum Reserve is nearly the emptiest it's been since Reagan, because the war that's draining it also closed the oil corridor it was built to protect. Trump told reporters he loves 4.2 percent inflation, then accidentally declassified a covert operation in the same sentence. Measles is back and accelerating, the public health funding to fight it is gone, and the guy who killed the funding vaccine-shamed the country for 20 years. Three Epstein file Republicans are politically dead. A Russian military officer's car exploded in the same Moscow suburb where Ukraine already killed a general. And a squirrel in Utah started a wildfire. Kevin O'Leary was unavailable for comment. Tape rolls.

Donald Trump bombed Iran over a helicopter he called "not a big deal," which puts the word "proportional" in serious need of a lawyer. The Trump family rang the Nasdaq bell, pocketed $500 million, and watched the stock crater to 68 cents — the White House says there's no conflict of interest, which is the most confident thing anyone has said about a bell and a drain in American history. Madison Square Garden booed the president so loud it ate the national anthem alive, and he responded at 2 a.m. on Truth Social like a man who definitely doesn't need this. Kash Patel fired analysts for a memo their own bureau killed three years ago, because the purge doesn't need a reason, just a list. Jared Kushner's Albanian yacht marina is already destroying a nature reserve that hasn't been assessed yet. Russia threatened nuclear war over a NATO training exercise in Finland, which tracks. And a World Cup special report. Tape rolls.