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Break Your Bullsh*t Box

322: Finances & Life's Struggles with Jamie Lima

Today's Guest: Jamie Lima


I grew up in a family that always seemed to have money challenges.


That led me to a career in finance as I wanted to learn and understand how to better support myself and my family.


I began my career in 2006 with Morgan Stanley, and in 2011 joined Fidelity Investments. I was responsible for overseeing $1 billion in assets for 450 families and businesses.


Today, I primarily focus on mid-career professionals, working to maximize their wealth, so they can do what they love with zero financial stress.


I also am a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® and founded Allegiant Divorce Solutions in 2023 to help others better prepare for, navigate, and recover financially from divorce.


I promised myself early on that I would do whatever was required to ensure that my clients never felt the same struggles related to money that I did. I really love helping clients make important financial decisions and making the puzzle pieces ‘fit’ for them.


Outside of work my wife, Dawn, and I spend a lot of time in our Jeep driving the country backroads here in inland San Diego, working around our farm (we currently have sheep, goats, chickens, pigs, ducks, and rabbits!) and trying to keep up with our 5 (yes, 5!) kids.


Episode Quotes:


"Marriage, from a financial perspective... is basically two CEOs merging two businesses. Discussing the financial aspect of what might happen during a divorce shouldn't be a weird topic." -Jamie Lima


"The touchier the subject the more uncomfortable the conversations around it can be... and the more we'll avoid them." -Amber Fuhriman


"Take a pause. It's a smart move to make sure everything is in place before you get married. The alternative is lawyers getting a big portion of your money." -Jamie Lima

"Dealing with family and money creates another emotional aspect to a numbers conversation." -Amber Fuhriman


Find Amber on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amberraefuhriman


Jamie Lima:


https://www.linkedin.com/in/jamielima

https://www.instagram.com/allegiantdivorce

https://www.tiktok.com/@jamiemlima

www.facebook.com/groups/preparingfinanciallyfordivorce


If you are interested in connecting with Amber, send an email to amber@amberfuhriman.com.


Connect with other incredible people looking to break out of the corporate mindset by joining the Facebook Success Center: http://bit.ly/2MuWn53


Checkout Amber's Speaker Reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPj5OBvjrr0


Schedule a connection call with Amber: https://calendly.com/amberfuhriman/connection-call?month=2021-05


If you are interested in connecting with Amber, send an email to amber@amberfuhriman.com.

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  • Episode 385: Your Story Is Your Strategy: PR, Authentic Branding, and Building a Business on Purpose with Gina Yager

    44:20|
    Episode SummaryStop winging it and wondering why you feel stuck. Amber Fuhriman sits down with Gina Yager, founder of GYC Vegas, to break down why your authentic story is the most powerful PR tool you have, and how intentional strategy in business and branding is the difference between spinning your wheels and actually building something that lasts.Key Topics CoveredWhy telling your authentic story is the foundation of PR and what audiences really want from the brands they buy fromHow to figure out what hills you are willing to stand on publicly and why that clarity protects your brandWhy "hope is not a strategy" and how to build a real plan by starting with your end goal and working backwardsThe trust recession we are living in right now and why consumers will not engage with a business they do not know authenticallyHow to build a network that actually works by going into every relationship with the intention of service first, not sales firstNotable QuotesAmber Fuhriman:"Hope is not a strategy. What's the strategy for making this happen?""None of us knew what the hell we were doing when we opened our business. And there's still fear of failure all the time."Gina Yager:"Branding is the foundation of perception, but perception is what drives business success.""You have to go into every relationship with the intention of building a relationship and being of service. You can have an objective, but all of your actions during that relationship have to be for nothing more than service and relationship building."Call to ActionBook a free strategy call with Amber: https://calendly.com/amberfuhriman/connection-call?month=2021-05Join the Break Your Bullsh*t Box Community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/185xJ6KALu/Check out Amber's Speaker Reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPj5OBvjrr0Guest InfoFounder and Director of GYC Vegas, a boutique PR and marketing agency specializing in strategic storytelling, integrated marketing, and community-driven PR across industries including hospitality, healthcare, tech, real estate, gaming, and nonprofits.Podcast: Get Your Chat On with GYC Vegas (available on all major podcast streaming platforms)Contact Gina YagerWebsite: gyc vegas.comInstagram / X / LinkedIn / YouTube: @GYCVegas
  • Episode 384: What "Like-Minded People" Actually Means (And Why You're Getting It Wrong)

    06:45|
    Episode SummaryThink surrounding yourself with like-minded people means finding people who agree with you? Amber Fuhriman challenges that assumption head-on, breaking down what like-minded truly means and why the people who think differently than you are the ones who will actually help you grow.Key Topics CoveredWhy the common definition of "like-minded" keeps you stuck in your own echo chamberHow surrounding yourself with people who only validate your beliefs feeds the gremlins telling you you're not good enoughWhat a truly like-minded person looks like: shared values of growth, compassion, and openness, not shared opinionsWhy you should actively seek out people on the opposite side of the aisle to challenge and sharpen your thinkingHow to audit the people in your life and identify who is actually helping you grow versus keeping you limitedNotable Quotes"A like-minded person to me is someone who shows up in a space that is open, welcoming and appreciative. A place that says, I may not completely agree with everything you say, and I respect your right to think it.""One is going to lead you to the growth that you want personally and professionally. The other is going to allow you to stay stuck in your old limitations, justify your shitty beliefs about what you're capable of, and feed those gremlins in your head that tell you you're not good enough.""When we surround ourselves with people who actually think differently than we do, we give ourselves the opportunity to think about problems differently than we think about them now." Call to ActionBook a free strategy call with Amber: https://calendly.com/amberfuhriman/connection-call?month=2021-05Join the Break Your Bullsh*t Box Community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/185xJ6KALu/Check out Amber's Speaker Reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPj5OBvjrr0
  • Episode 383: You Had Me At No: How Boundaries Banish Burnout and Build Better Relationships with Sheryl Green

    48:40|
    Episode SummarySaying yes to everything is not a virtue, it is a fast track to burnout and resentment. Amber Fuhriman sits down with boundaries expert and author Sheryl Green to break down why most people are setting boundaries wrong, what healthy boundaries actually look like in real life, and how to communicate them without blowing up your relationships.Key Topics CoveredThe two boundary extremes that wreck relationships: people pleasing (porous boundaries) and saying no to everything (rigid boundaries), and how to find the healthy middleWhy boundaries are not something you do to people, they are something you do for people, and how that mindset shift makes them easier to enforceHow to stop "yes vomiting" and evaluate commitments before they become obligations you have to lie your way out ofThe role of resentment as an early warning signal that your boundaries have been erodedWhy communicating your boundaries matters as much as setting them, and how to say no without torching a relationshipNotable QuotesSheryl Green:"Boundaries are not something you do to people. They're something you do for people. It's actually a way of protecting and strengthening a relationship.""I had one foot on a mental breakdown and one foot on a banana peel."Amber Fuhriman:"The person we have the most emotional response to is the person that is the most like us or the most like we'd like to be.""People pleasing is actually really selfish. We're people pleasing because we don't want to deal with their disappointment."Call to ActionBook a free strategy call with Amber: https://calendly.com/amberfuhriman/connection-call?month=2021-05Join the Break Your Bullsh*t Box Community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/185xJ6KALu/Check out Amber's Speaker Reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPj5OBvjrr0Guest InfoBoundaries expert, speaker, and author of six books including You Had Me At No: How Setting Healthy Boundaries Helps Banish Burnout, Repair Relationships, and Savior SanityFree boundary resources and weekly blog available at her website.Contact Sheryl GreenWebsite: SherylGreenspeaks.comEmail: sheryl@sherylgreenspeaks.com
  • Episode 382: The Cost of Pretending: How to Stop Being Who Others Want You to Be and Build Real Connection in Business

    07:28|
    Episode SummaryThink being a people pleaser makes you more likable? Think again. Amber Fuhriman reveals why chameleon behavior kills real connection and tanks trust in business, plus the NLP-backed framework for knowing when flexibility is strength versus when it's abandoning yourself.Key Topics CoveredThe difference between being a chameleon as a strength versus using it as a coping mechanism to gain approvalWhy pretending to be who others want you to be prevents real connection and trust in business relationshipsHow to identify when you're performing with a mask on versus showing up authentically alignedThe identity audit: getting clear on which labels you've taken on and whether they still serve who you want to beHow to intentionally tap into different parts of yourself to serve others without abandoning your core identityNotable Quotes"This is the real danger of being who you think other people want you to be: nobody ever gets to really know who you are. And you don't ever feel like anybody knows or loves or appreciates you because frankly, you've never let them get to know you.""In a world where people will associate with and do business with people that they know, like, and trust, how do they get to know you? How do they learn to like you, and how do they decide to trust you if they don't know who you are?""I believe that doing it intentionally because we wanna connect with others so that we can serve them is a strength. I believe that doing it because we want to be loved and appreciated and accepted and we are abandoning other parts of ourselves is dangerous.""Realistically, we can only start to understand when we're performing, when we have a mask on, when we're out of alignment, if we get really clear about who it is we are and what it is that we want."Call to Action (CTA)Book a free strategy call with Amber: https://calendly.com/amberfuhriman/connection-call?month=2021-05Join the Break Your Bullsh*t Box Community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/185xJ6KALu/Check out Amber's Speaker Reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPj5OBvjrr0
  • Episode 381: Stop Chasing Titles: How to Build Real Success When Your Identity Falls Apart with Chris Mitchell

    49:09|
    Episode SummaryWhat happens when the title you worked your whole career to earn suddenly disappears? Chris Mitchell went from corporate executive overseeing $24 million and 400 employees to entrepreneur working from home in shorts, and the identity crisis nearly broke him. Amber and Chris dig into the brutal truth about how titles, positions, and achievements become who we are without us realizing it, and what it actually takes to rebuild yourself when they're gone.Key Topics CoveredWhy losing your corporate title will break you (and how to survive the identity crisis that follows)The mental reset pitchers use to handle failure on the mound and how it translates to businessHow to decide what actually matters when everything feels importantWhy participation trophies and refusing to own your failures will wreck your futureThe discipline gap killing entrepreneurs: why working from home means most people failNotable QuotesAmber Fuhriman:"We collect these titles, these letters, and then they get stripped or we realize they didn't actually add anything to us.""You can want something all day, but if we're not willing to put in the work to get it, then we need to shift our focus to something that we are willing to accomplish."Chris Mitchell:"When I realized we couldn't have our own, my identity really quickly became what kind of a failure am I as a husband? 'cause I can't provide for my wife.""Focus on what really matters. If it doesn't really matter, don't worry about it. My first responsibility is to my wife. My second responsibility is to my daughter. Everything else falls behind that.""Why do people fail in my industry so often? Because they're able to work when, where, how, and if they want. And the trouble is they don't want."Call to Action (CTA)Book a free strategy call with Amber: https://calendly.com/amberfuhriman/connection-call?month=2021-05Join the Break Your Bullsh*t Box Community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/185xJ6KALu/Check out Amber's Speaker Reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPj5OBvjrr0Guest InfoChris Mitchell is an independent sales broker for solar and former fitness industry executive. After being furloughed from a multi-billion dollar company during the 2020 pandemic, Chris transitioned from managing $24 million budgets and 400 employees to building his own business from home. He became a father at 45 through adoption and now prioritizes family while building a successful solar business. His journey from corporate executive to entrepreneur forced him to completely rebuild his identity from the ground up.Contact Chris:Website: https://go.powur.com/christopher-mitchell-centurion/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christopher-mitchell-9b84b2a1?Email: chris.mitchell75@gmail.com
  • Episode 380: The Magic Number Myth: Why Six Figures Won't Solve Your Problems (And What Actually Will)

    08:09|
    Episode SummaryThink hitting six figures will finally make you happy? Amber Fuhriman rips apart the dangerous myth that money, relationships, or weight loss will solve your problems. She shares her own panic attack moment after hitting her big goal and walks you through how to set goals that actually align with what you want, not what you think you're supposed to want.Key Topics CoveredWhy tying happiness to a specific income goal sets you up for a crash (and what to do instead)How to identify the real purpose behind your goals before you waste years chasing the wrong thingThe misalignment trap: when your seven-figure business goal conflicts with spending time with your familyWhy asking "what's the purpose of wanting this?" is the first step to designing a life you actually wantHow to build a strategic plan for success on your terms, not society's benchmarksNotable Quotes"I had worked so hard under the illusion that hard work would pay off, and hard work only pays off if we know what we're working towards.""Money won't make you happy, the relationship won't make you happy. The weight loss won't make you happy. Your job is to sit down and find out what it is that you actually want in your life, and what has prevented you so far from allowing yourself to have it.""Everything was supposed to change and nothing did. I had worked so hard under the illusion that hard work would pay off, and hard work only pays off if we know what we're working towards.""The amount of work and effort and energy that it takes to create a business of that magnitude may not align with more family time."CALL TO ACTIONBook a free strategy call with Amber: https://calendly.com/amberfuhriman/connection-call?month=2021-05Join the Break Your Bullsh*t Box Community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/185xJ6KALu/Check out Amber's Speaker Reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPj5OBvjrr0
  • Episode 379: Stop Over-Functioning and Under-Receiving: NLP and Emotional Surgery for Women in Business with Lorie Wu

    46:44|
    Episode SummaryThink you're stuck in toxic patterns because you're broken? Amber Fuhriman sits down with mindset coach and author Lorie Wu to dismantle that lie. They dig into the NLP tools, nervous system regulation, and boundary-setting strategies women need to stop over-functioning, start receiving, and finally build the abundance they've been blocking themselves from.Key Topics CoveredHow unprocessed anger and grief show up as chronic health issues and why your emotions are not optionalThe mind-body-soul connection: why shifting your mindset alone won't break your patterns if your nervous system can't hold what you wantWhy manifestation without inspired action is just expensive daydreaming, and what actually creates resultsHow to stop waiting for permission from everyone else and start valuing yourself enough to set real boundariesThe one question that interrupts self-betrayal: "What would someone who deeply loves themselves do?"Notable QuotesAmber Fuhriman:"I think our bullshit box is full of these little gremlins that whisper these lies to us throughout our life, and we choose whether or not to listen to them.""I want to meet the person who's powerful enough to put something else in your head. You chose to allow it."Lori Wu:"You're only gonna receive what you believe you're worthy of and deserving of.""If your nervous system can't handle and can't stabilize and hold enough money, your body doesn't feel safe and doesn't know how to handle it."Call to Action (CTA)Book a free strategy call with Amber: https://calendly.com/amberfuhriman/connection-call?month=2021-05Join the Break Your Bullsh*t Box Community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/185xJ6KALu/Check out Amber's Speaker Reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPj5OBvjrr0Guest InfoLorie Wu is the CEO of Reset Your Mind 1111, a mindset and holistic health and wellness coaching company, and author of The Emotional Surgeon. She specializes in the trademarked Emotional Surgery Method and Permission Granted Framework, helping women stop over-functioning and under-receiving by dismantling subconscious identities and behavioral patterns. Contact: resetyourmind1111@gmail.comSearch: Reset Your Mind 1111™
  • Episode 378: Letting Go of Outdated Identities: How to Release Who You Used to Be and Become Who You Need to Be

    09:03|
    Episode SummaryThe identities that got you here won't get you there. Amber Fuhriman breaks down why the parts of yourself that once served you might now be the exact thing holding you back from your goals and walks you through how to identify which identities to grieve and release so you can step into the version of yourself that actually gets results.Key Topics CoveredHow your identity is made up of far more than your job title or role: it includes every limitation, label, and belief you've accepted about what you can and can't doWhy growth requires grieving the versions of yourself that got you to where you are now, even when moving forward is positiveThe exact process for identifying which identities served you in the past but are now blocking your next level of successHow to release outdated identities (like "the protector," "the hard-nosed Type A," or "the people pleaser") that no longer align with your goalsWhy New Year's resolutions fail around the two-month mark when we don't shift our identity to match our goalsNotable Quotes"Every identity that we've had in our life served a purpose for us, that it allowed us to make it to where we are now. We also get to acknowledge that those parts of us that want to go to places we've never been...some of the things that we've held onto won't serve us in those situations.""The key to growth is really labeling your identities and acknowledging which ones were necessary to get to you, to where you are now, and which ones are necessary to let go of in order to get to where you want to be.""Each time we grow, there is a part of us that we're letting go of. Even though that place we're going is positive and better for us, and we are excited to be there, this idea of grieving identities is very, very real."Call to Action (CTA)Book a free strategy call with Amber: https://calendly.com/amberfuhriman/connection-call?month=2021-05Join the Break Your Bullsh*t Box Community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/185xJ6KALu/Check out Amber's Speaker Reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPj5OBvjrr0
  • Episode 377: Build a Wellness Empire: From Wall Street to Holistic Health with Jenn Ty

    38:09|
    Episode SummaryTired of letting ego and perfectionism keep you stuck at the starting line? Amber Fuhriman sits down with massage therapist and former Wall Street VP Jenn Ty to unpack how she ditched the corporate armor, survived cancer, and is now building the holistic wellness center she's dreamed about for 30 years. You'll learn the NLP strategies and courage practices that help ambitious entrepreneurs stop overthinking and start executing.Key Topics CoveredHow to network authentically without cold DM spam or transactional bullshitWhy financial literacy is the skill nobody taught you and how Wall Street trains you to manage moneyThe ego trap: how masculine armor protects you in corporate spaces but sabotages you in entrepreneurshipUsing NLP tools to recognize and shut down reactive patterns before they derail relationshipsGetting past the starting line: how perfectionism keeps brilliant ideas at 0% and why 5% execution beats perfect planningNotable QuotesJenn Ty:"Networking isn't just about collecting business cards. It's actually taking a real interest in the other business owner, the other individuals, just people that you run into every single day, and more importantly, building a relationship.""Don't you realize you've already won? And all of a sudden, dead in my tracks, I had to shut off. And he was right that here I was still fighting over a piece of fruit.""If you don't do anything it's still zero. But if you do something, you're maybe five or 10% along the way. And even if you drop it at that point in the process, you're still five to 10% along than you were before.""I don't even think that we can call it healthcare. It's sick care. If we really cared about health, we'd do things entirely differently."Amber Fuhriman:"When I felt like I was in a place where I had to defend my right to be in a room as a business owner, that attorney Amber would come up because that was my protection mechanism.""The willingness to drop what you've referred to as that ego and say, here I am, do your best because whatever you do is not gonna affect me because I'm secure in who I am requires a courage that is probably one of the most frightening things I've ever done in my entire life.""I've learned more than anything that if somebody pops into my awareness or something pops into my awareness, it is never an accident.""The hardest, longest distance you'll ever face is from the finish line of one moment to the start line of the next."Call to Action (CTA)Book a free strategy call with Amber: https://calendly.com/amberfuhriman/connection-call?month=2021-05Join the Break Your Bullsh*t Box Community: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/185xJ6KALu/Check out Amber's Speaker Reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPj5OBvjrr0Guest InfoJenn Ty is a massage therapist, holistic health practitioner, and founder of Flow Massage Therapy, LLC in Las Vegas. After nearly 30 years on Wall Street, she transitioned into wellness and now specializes in understanding how trauma stores in the body and helping clients achieve physical and emotional alignment. She is building toward her 30-year vision of creating a cohesive wellness center that integrates holistic and Western medicine.Website: Flow Massage InfoContact: Available via website for free 15-30 minute consultationsSearch: Flow Massage Therapy, LLC