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Marriage and Martinis
Reflections On A "Real" Open Marriage, With Molly Roden Winter
Molly had reached her breaking point as an overwhelmed mom and wife when she and her husband decided to open up their marriage back in 2008. In this honest conversation, Danielle asks Molly questions that are on so many people's minds when we think about allowing our partners to be intimate with other humans. Some of these include, how do you handle the intense moments of jealousy that follow knowing your partner has been sexual with someone else? What happened when your kids found out, and how did they react? Were you worried about your parents finding out? And, has the experience been all you hoped it would? Molly's new memoir, "More," takes readers through the journey of becoming polyamorous, and all of the layers, hardships, and joys involved in this process. Luckily, Molly was willing to share some of those stories on the podcast. Hearing these reflections helps us to understand the concept of open marriage from a different, more honest perspective.
Buy Molly's book More, A Memoir Of Open Marriage wherever books are sold.
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293. And on the 9th day he said, "Do not throw a DIY Bar Mitzvah!"
58:25||Ep. 293One week after throwing their third child a "DIY" Bar Mitzvah, Adam and Danielle reflect on the process leading up to the event, and the service/party themselves. Some questions/topics include:What's involved with becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, anyway?What untraditional practices did they decide to include, and which traditions did they not follow?How do they feel their family's connection to their religion might change moving forward?How much does a Bar/Bat Mitzvah actually usually cost?What were each of their favorite parts of the event?What parts were the most stressful/overwhelming?What advice would they give other parents planning any type of big celebration for their chil(ren)?If they had to do it again, what would they do differently?Looking for the perfect buzz without the hangover? Visit Drink Brez to check out their euphoric, calming, relaxing drinks, and use promo code "MARTINIS10" for $10 off your first purchase!Graze and DecorLive in the New Jersey/Pennsylvania areas and looking for an incredibly unique catering experience for your next event? Whether large or small, Graze and Decor will add creativity, personality, and deliciousness. Your guests will not be able to stop talking about the presentation, as they savor the versatile options offered. Follow this exceptional brand on instagram to see exactly what we're raving about!Time To PartyThere are so many party decoration services out there these days, it's truly hard to know which one to hire! Luckily, Danielle has done the work for you! Time To Party is above and beyond when it comes to everything from customer service, to creativity, down to the small but impactful details. This isn't your average party decorating brand, and your guests will realize that the second they walk into the room and are blown away! And follow on instagram to see just how phenomenal these masterpieces are.Need awesome gift ideas for the holiday? Marriage and Martinis has the best lists, and the only ones you'll need for everyone in your life!292. Forty-F*cking-Seven (The Yearly Birthday Episode)
01:14:25||Ep. 292In Danielle and Adam's yearly birthday episode, the two reflect on things from the past year, including accomplishments, funniest moments, what was lacking, and what they want to do more of in the coming year. Adam talks about what happened last night that reminds him he's been missing an important component of life and about which he wants to step up and make more of a priority. Danielle discusses the heaviness of the past year, and why it's been so hard to just find enjoyment in the everyday. Plus, what "finds" did they each discover that helped them get through, even if just a little bit.Check out the Marriage and Martinis Holiday Planning Kit, complete with date-night-questions specifically meant to tackle the overwhelm and lessen the overwhelming mental load that can arise from the pressures of the season. Plus, Thanksgiving table conversation starters, and other productive and fun activities and resources. Use code "KIT15" for 15% off.Need gift ideas? Check out the Marriage and Martinis Amazon storefront!Adam's best finds this year:Tanks: https://amzn.to/496Zk46Socks: https://amzn.to/3Z3c1IC291. So Nice, We Had To Argue Twice (Post Election Part 2)
01:28:38||Ep. 291In what was supposed to be a "tamer" follow-up to their first election episode, Danielle and Adam just can't seem to get on the same page concerning influential commentators, and the impact they think listening has on opinions and mindset. Adam feels like he can listen without being truly "affected" by what they say, while Danielle is frustrated that Adam doesn't understand that some voices are more intrusive and influential than we think. Some things they discuss:What personality does Adam reveal he listens to (besides Rogan) that shocks Danielle and makes her question Adam's motivation for supporting certain public figures?Why does Adam feel that Danielle needed to "get over" the election so soon after it was over?Why do so many women say it's such a turnoff for their husbands to listen to Joe Rogan"Why does Danielle feel that Rogan is so much more of a negative figure for Adam than he realizes?What public figure does Adam dislike that Danielle listens to?Buckle up. This episode is WAY bumpier and more intense than originally planned. However, it's also a conversation that will most likely be relatable to many couples.290. After the Vote: Navigating Elections in Relationships
01:14:37||Ep. 290Five days after the election, a tension has been brewing: in households, in friendships, and in society. While Danielle and Adam voted the same way, that doesn't at all mean they share the same experiences concerning politics and advocacy. Even though they've been together for 25 years, there have been a lot of times in which they felt differently concerning what type of role and voice they should each have in the world of social issues, engaging in social media, and even concerning their parenting. Danielle comes from a very political family. Adam does not. How have they navigated this terrain? They get into the deep reflection, and some extremely tense discourse, highlighting the differences they both face, and answering each others questions concerning:Why has Danielle gotten so much more political in the past ten years?Why does Danielle feel so much more strongly about politics and social issues than Adam?What role does the election play in The Mental Load?How do they navigate relationships with people in their life whom they know voted for the opposite party?What issues are most important to each of them?What frustrations do they each feel how each of them react to and engage in politics?How do they plan on navigating the holidays amidst such a contentious time?Make sure to tune in for part two next week, when they discuss what public figures and influences have negatively impacted the way they relate to one another concerning issues?What's the big deal about listening to Joe Rogan?What does Adam think about "feminism" and the role it plays in Danielle and Mia's lives?If you enjoyed this episode and gained something from it, please don't forget to rate and review on Apple and/or Spotify. Follow and subscribe to get all upcoming podcast episodes.289. Finance F*ckery
01:19:52||Ep. 289It has taken over 22 years for Adam and Danielle to be able to have a conversation about the topic of finance without it ending in a fit of rage, resentment, and frustration. For the first time, they can each admit to their mistakes, and the ways they individually and cohesively have contributed to the mistakes they've made, and their negligence concerning preparing for the future. Yes, this is definitely a testament to the progress they've made and the incredible work they've done, but it doesn't change the fact that they'll be feeling the impacts of their poor decisions for years to come. This is a topic that is so seldom discussed by couples in a way that's so public and especially, so honest, that they weren't sure if they should edit some of it out. However, they decided not to touch it. Hopefully, their vulnerability will inspire other couples to have similar conversations, and even learn from Adam and Danielle's mistakes. More specifically, some of the issues they discuss surrounding money and finances in this episode are:How differently they grew up regarding money and spending.How being a stay-at-home-mom impacted Danielle's ideas about financial decision making within their family.The frustration of being the person in charge of buying the daily necessities for the household vs. the frustrations of being the one in charge of paying the bigger bills.How "keeping up with the joneses" has impacted them, especially regarding raising kids.How honest should we be with our kids about our financial situation? What has caused this shift in Danielle's mentality concerning budgeting, and being an active participant in solving their financial issues?How our past experiences, as well as expectations about spending/money affects our overall mindset about what we need/want/deserve regardless of whether or not we can afford it. Stay tuned for part two of this topic, in which we delve even further into these issues and so much more!Please don't forget to Rate and Review on Apple and or Spotify. A five-star rating truly helps us so much and only takes a minute.Want to have this type of dynamic, gentle, honest conversation with you partner? Purchase the Date Night Questions print version, and use code "MNMPODCAST" for 20% off plus free shipping. Or, download it immediately with the ebook version, and use code "RECONNECT" for 15% off. Trying to incorporate more gratitude, equity, and understanding into your relationship, use the framework that got Adam and Danielle to the place they are now as a couple, by purchasing the Small Change, Big Impact Challenge, and use code "SCBI15" for 15% off!288. Diving Deeper Into The Mental Load, With Zach Watson
01:18:16||Ep. 288Is there a such thing as too many discussions about the mental load? Until it stops being one of the most complicated issues in relationships, the answer is definitely no. Danielle and Adam were so happy that Zach joined them for a conversation about all the different facets and nuances about the mental load which are rarely discussed. In fact, for a couple that has spoken more about this topic than most partners, they each learned a lot of new, insightful information. Plus, they discuss how far they've come since their devastating fight from one year ago, that almost caused Danielle to leave. Plus, with the upcoming holidays, the three of them tackle the different ways that time of year can make the division of mental and emotional labor even more complicated. This is another one of those episodes that you'll definitely want to share with your partner and ask them to listen. There is a lot of great info in this discussion.Follow Zach on instagram, and check out his awesome coaching and facilitator services on his website.Be sure to sign up for the Marriage and Martinis Holiday Challenge, if you often feel like the sole magic maker during the holiday season, leaving you exhausted and overwhelmed. Purchase the regular version for the downloads only, or join us for the 30-day interactive version starting October 27th. THIS WEEK ONLY: 20% off both versions of the holiday challenge. Discount applied at checkout.287. Perimenopause for Dummies 101
01:04:56||Ep. 287Danielle is officially in full-perimenopause mode. But even she doesn't know what that really means! For the first time ever, she and Adam sit down to discuss the basics of perimenopause and what it truly means to be in this stage of life. What does the term even mean? How long does it last? What are the symptoms? WHY TF DON'T WE KNOW MORE?! Danielle and Adam discuss all the things they don't understand and the stuff they want to understand more. This is an episode that every couple should listen to, and DEFINITELY every woman.286. MnM Vintage - The Wedding Episode
01:05:42||Ep. 286Their wedding day is not really something about which Adam and Danielle talk very much. In fact, they don't even have a picture from their wedding day anywhere in their house. During this really in depth discussion, the two of them talk about everything from how Danielle rushed Adam into getting engaged, why getting married so young presented some problems for them, how discrepancies about how money should be spent led to contention, and why they actually wouldn't go back and change a thing. Plus, they share a lot of information from their listeners and community, and go into detail about what they will tell their own kids about weddings and marriage. Whether you're single, engaged, married, or divorced, this is an episode you will not want to miss.https://www.marriageandmartinis.com/Get the Date Night Questions!285. A Safe Space For Women To Share Birth Stories, With Bryn From The Birth Hour
42:08||Ep. 285Until recently, the have been very few platforms available for women to share stories about their pregnancy, birth, and postpartum experiences. But amazing resources like The Birth Hour podcast are helping to change all of that. With more than 900 episodes, this podcast (named one of Time Magazine's 50 best podcasts), Bryn has offered hundreds of women a safe space to share their birthing stories, whether they were "regular," complicated, or "unconventional." This podcast opens up so many experiences surrounding pregnancy about which we're never introduced or educated, that is has literally saved lives. In this episode, Danielle has the honor of sitting down with Bryn to discuss everything from, why women are so judgmental of one another for making decisions that differ from their own, what do we need to each remember about birthing plans, and the reality surrounding unexpected occurrences and how they impact plans and hopes. Plus, Bryn talks about some of the most memorable and impactful stories she's heard over the years. Plus, what has Bryn learned from almost one thousand birth stories that she wants all of us to know, as well? Unfortunately, it's impossible to have every woman hear an episode, but Danielle truly hopes that each woman who listens will send this to someone else who might need to hear it. If you are unpacking your own birth experience(s), are hoping to one day give birth or know someone else close to you who is, or are just curious about all the different options, choices, and paths women take when having a child, you'll absolutely want to listen to this episode.Follow Bryn on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/thebirthhour/. Check out the website at https://thebirthhour.com/, where you can access resources to help prepare for an upcoming birth. And, check out The Birth Hour podcast to hear Danielle's birthing story this week.