Share
Make Your Damn Bed
1666 || an online AYCE buffet, what are you eating?
•
If the internet is an AYCE buffet of unlimited, endless options, there’s bound to be items you find disgusting, that will make you physically ill. There’s also bound to be items you find delicious AND nourishing and can’t get enough of. But a majority of that buffet will be… fine.
It will be mediocre filler foods that you don’t remember eating at all. You may even fill yourself up on the “just okay ” foods and not realize how much better of a meal it could’ve been if you’d been more patient or critical with filling your plate.
Not to say that mindless consumption isn’t incredibly healing, sometimes.
I just think it’s become normal not to think about anything we engage with, and that can be more toxic than medicinal.
It is not all bad, it is not all good, but it is not neutral either. It is what I make of it. It is a reflection of how I engage with it.
It, like any tool, can be used as a weapon if we’re not being conscious with how we wield it.
This is why choosing to engage is such a powerful process.
Deciding when it’s too much, setting boundaries, creating realistic expectations, and being careful with not letting the algorithm co-opt my agency; all these take conscious effort.
The key is staying present and conscious as often as you can.
Engaging with shit because you want to, because you make the conscious choice to, not simply because it’s there.
I think a lot of us have become conditioned to believing “inconvenience is a barrier,” and in reality, on the other side of inconvenience is so much freedom and fulfillment.
A healthy amount of resistance is what builds muscles, minds, and ideas. Friction is not the enemy.
We are constantly bombarded with shit trying to make us numb, sad, hopeless, defeated, so that we become so overwhelmed with the idea of any additional discomfort (even when it’s the good kind) becomes absolutely unbearable.
The wealth-hoarding class wants us to be good little cattle who give over our time, data, energy, money, and peace without questioning.
So every time we act with intention, we push back against the systems of manipulation, profiting off of our misery.
Read episode scripts on Julie's Medium Blog.
SUPPORT JULIE (and the show!)
DONATE to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund AND THE Sudan Relief Fund
GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE
SUBSCRIBE FOR BONUS CONTENT ON PATREON.
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
More episodes
View all episodes
1842 || embrace your shadow + become the "villain"
10:35|Do no harm but take no shit.Historically, especially under a patriarchal rule, women have been taught to be selfless, self sacrificing, useful, and kind over everything else. The goal is to be seen and not heard. To be pleasant and palatable. While I think those are great virtues and attributes under a normal context, the patriarchy is not a normal context. Our society puts profits over people, so being taught to be self sacrificing is dangerous. Our society doesn’t have our best interest at heart. Am I telling you to not be kind, or generous? No. I am telling you to back off of the self sacrificing role that a lot of us were forced into. Compliance, obedience, and self sacrifice is dangerous, yet it’s what many of us women were taught as the “normal” expectation of us. Remember that Matilda couldn't access her magic until she was pissed off.SOURCES:https://meridianuniversity.edu/content/shadow-work-meaning-in-jungian-psychology-explainedhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassionate-feminism/202505/the-post-forties-villain-erahttps://livstclaire.substack.com/p/villain-eraRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1841 || at the edge of reason
09:14|"Some things are up to us and some are not up to us. Our opinions are up to us, and our impulses, desires, aversions—in short, whatever is our own doing. Our bodies are not up to us, nor are our possessions, our reputations... whatever is not our own doing.” - Epictetus "Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.” He also said, "Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.” - Jean Paul Sartre THE SOURCE:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ethics_of_Ambiguityhttps://raggeduniversity.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/The-Ethics-of-Ambiguity_-1948-Simone-de-Beauvoir-1948-.pdfRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1840 || navigating agency + uncertainty
09:02|A human being is a creature that doesn’t author the architecture in which it chooses from, so it can only act within the possibilities that it is capable of perceiving and expand those possibilities though learning, which can influence but never secure the outcome of their choices and therefore must live inside a permanent tension between agency and uncertainty. Growth is not escaping that tension, growth is becoming increasingly conscious of the spiral I’m already inside, while accepting that no amount of self knowledge will ever make existence fully controllable. And at the edge of that knowledge hope and faith aren’t irrational leftovers; they are what make continued participation possible when certainty runs out. - @GLUB on Tiktok The source: https://www.tiktok.com/@misstryingtomoveon/video/7672928732721450253?_r=1&_t=ZP-99DAZs1JyRjRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1839 || be realistic, expect miracles
10:58|be realistic, expect miracles.The universe is chaotic and the more we fight that the harder it is to deal with it. Resistance of that truth is the problem, not the truth itself. When we finally learn to accept the reality that the universe is unpredictable, we stop limiting ourselves to our expectations. I am constantly at war with the reality of the universe. I cling to shit I can’t have and resist shit I can’t avoid. But clinging to the illusion of control is a false sense of safety. It makes me feel like I’m doing something of value, when it’s simply redirecting the little bit of control I do have into something I have no control over. Accepting that the future is not within our control frees us from the stress of trying to control it. Fighting reality takes so much mental energy and wastes our capacity for changing what actually we can change. Rigid expectations blind us to the limitless possibility of the future. I have an ampersand tattoo on my arm to remind me of the improv principle of “yes and” which is very helpful when I get stuck in my often limiting worldview of “this is it, forever.” I have found that it is a powerful practice to remember that the story doesn’t end with the discomfort. Yes, I am in pain AND I can move forward. Yes, that sucked, AND I can make it suck less. As somebody who wants to “fix” everything right away and avoid all discomfort, it’s nice to be able to focus on what I can actually affect instead of the reality that there’s much I can’t control. We can only see so much of the path ahead, our limiting ability of sight doesn’t mean the path doesn’t exist or we won’t be able to navigate it once we get there, it just means we can’t see what we haven’t approached yet. BE REALISTIC EXPECT A MIRACLE.SOURCES:https://strengtheningyourconsciousself.com/free-will-willpower-and-choices/https://www.universetoday.com/articles/does-free-will-exist-part-2-the-chaotic-universeRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1838 || get out of your head + into your body
10:24|Uncertainty feels unbearable and can send us spiraling, keeping us trapped in our heads. It's important to get out of your head and into your body when this happens. THE SOURCES: https://gsas.harvard.edu/news/coping-uncertaintyhttps://creativemindspsychotherapy.com/2021/10/21/anxiety-happens-when-you-have-no-outlet-for-your-creativity/Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1837 || dealing with uncertainty
09:31|Emilia Fart has a poem she published on her TikTok in which she said, “When desolate, empty, and inspiration barren, remember the apricot you’ll eat next august, juice running down your chin. Remember lying on your back getting grass stains on your boomers pissing the day away. Remember wiping crumbs of good bread and butter from the corners of your mouth and smirking from the delight. Remember that beyond the outer layers of fear and control at your core there is a cord. This cord can’t be eradicated can’t be shrunk. This cord is a knowing. A quiet understanding that you can trust yourself. That you are held. To be human is to free fall into a void. The more you connect with that cord the more your lips curl up as the wind whips past your cheeks down the rabbit hole. The less you need to scratch the walls trying to find a root to cling to. Learn to love with every particle and need with every inch and finally, let it all go when the time comes. Stop sinking. You can accept that you are falling.” Read the article from today's episode here. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1836 || letting karma happen vs. taking compassionate action
12:03|We can't ask karma to do compassion's job. Acceptance and action are meant to be utilized together. Learn to separate what must be accepted from what must be changed. Don't make victory a measure of your worth. THE SOURCE: https://blog.dharma-renaissance.org/philosophy/how-to-face-suffering-and-moral-crisis-through-dharma/Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1835 || life is unfair so i choose not to be
10:07|Nature is indifferent to my interpretations of morality and justice. We humans tend to moralize everything, but not everything has a moral. Every ending doesn’t have to feel like a punishment for bad behavior. This means that some of the most painful things that have happened to you had absolutely nothing to do with your character. You didn’t make mistakes and fail and deserve some painful outcome. There is power in grieving when unfair things happen to you, but there is no use in blaming yourself or asking yourself what you could have done differently beyond acquiring some wisdom for the future. If I find myself taking things extra personally, I try to remind myself that the universe doesn’t work like that. Existence is confusing and chaotic and strange and unpredictable. When something bad happens it can be really easy to wonder why it happened. What we did to deserve it? Why everyone else seems to have it better and we are the target of such a painful reality? Nature doesn’t work in just or kind or loving ways. It happens because of countless factors coming together in a moment of chance. Some consider this luck, but I don’t think of luck as something some people have or don’t. Sometimes, the wrong place at the wrong time is enough to explain the why, and there is no grand moral story at the end. THE SOURCES: https://blog.dharma-renaissance.org/philosophy/how-to-face-suffering-and-moral-crisis-through-dharma/https://timeslife.com/life-hacks/why-do-good-people-suffer-bhagavad-gita-insights/articleshow/118564088.htmlRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1834 || we don't know what we don't know
11:14|You don't know what you don't know, but the curse is that you think you do. If we make a good choice that works out badly, we are often very harsh on ourselves for making that decision in the first place, even though the results are only obvious after the fact, we will still blame ourselves for not knowing the future. The hindsight bias pushes us to avoid risks, but it also brings undeserved rewards to irresponsible risk takers. We are all trying to see the world as a tidy, predictable, and coherent place, when it isn’t. Unfortunately, you can’t predict or control the future, no matter how lucky you are. THE SOURCES:Daniel Kahneman's Thinking Fast and Slowhttps://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Exploring_WorldviewsRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.