Share
Make Your Damn Bed
1323 || the best advice of 2024 (part 3)
•
It’s their first time being a person too. Grief distorts reality. Joy is not passive. Done > perfect. The obstacles in your path are your path. Be a good parent to you. Instead of figuring it all out become fascinated with the process. You don’t have to be agreeable to be likable. Real happiness, contentment, life satisfaction, etc. is an inside job. Most shit comes back to balance. Nobody is judging you as harshly as you’re judging yourself. Don’t let short term feelings affect long your term decision making. Leave it better than you found it. Sensitivity isn’t a curse but it can feel like it. Learn rituals to reset and protect yourself. You have to feel weak to get strong you have to feel stupid to get smart. If it can be done in less than three minutes do it now. Keep a list of things that make you feel at home and comfortable and safe. Instead of trying to “fix” your life all at once focus on adding good things until the goodness outgrows the things that need fixing. Rest is growth. Fear won’t keep you from dying but it will keep you from living. Self awareness isn’t only critical. If you’re claiming to be self aware you also have to be aware of the good stuff too. If you can’t find community make it. Sometimes the trash takes itself out. Confidence is less about people liking you and more about knowing you’ll be okay if they don’t. The future isn’t real. Only the present matters. Your attention is the most valuable asset you have.The things you do are not means to an end. Look for the magic in everything you do. If you’re struggling to find happiness, seek interesting instead. Nobody is mad at you. Criticism without empathy is bullying. Confrontations don’t have to be scary. Happiness is a direction, not a destination.If you want to heal a wound, you can’t keep messing with it. Gardens work in seasons and so do you. We can’t change what we refuse to notice. Quit waiting for a better time to get your shit together. Authentic magnetism means both attracting and repelling. The words you speak become the house we live in. Just because it didn’t last doesn’t mean it wasn’t real. Your job is to BE the light. Not make anyone see it. You are a Human being. Not a human doing. Let others be the one to tell you no. Learning should add to your sense of agency. Not remove it. Live your values. Don’t just claim them as an identity. There are many ways up a mountain. Don’t break a sweat on an escalator. Think globally, act locally.
DONATE:www.pcrf.net
GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com
TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast
OR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcast
OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica
The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
More episodes
View all episodes
1744 || your sign to do some arts + crafts (and go play)
09:53|We know that Breathwork, nourishment, sleep, and a safe environment regulate your nervous system. Play regulates your nervous system, too. Touch regulates your nervous system, sensory deprivation does too.Nature regulates your nervous system, so does being around community. Travel regulates your nervous system, and so does returning to your home. Routine can regulate your nervous system, and so can spontaneity. Both stillness and movement, sunlight and moonlight, predictability and novelty.It's nuanced and paradoxical and it's about you staying conscious and flexible. It's about embodying what you want to feel. I think the key is balancing what works. And if you’re alive, you’ve already been doing that. Maybe not healthily or sustainably, but you’ve been doing it. It’s never gonna be the easiest work, but you can make it easier. By relaxing into it. Letting everything become an experiment and only allowing your experience guide you, not trap you into thinking you can’t handle it differently. “There will always be more to do. The cleaning and laundry won’t stop. The inbox will refill. The to-do list will rewrite itself overnight. But your life isn’t just a series of tasks to complete. Go for the walk. Call your friend. Slow down without trying to optimize the moment. You dont need to clear your entire life before you’re allowed to feel ease. Because if that’s the rule, ease will never come. So learn to pause in the middle of it, not at the end of it.” - Vex King Watch the Eliza Day Video HereRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1743 || when to stop analyzing
10:58|The goal is conscious choices > conditioned responses. Our society bases it’s values on exploitation, violation, and extraction - and we’ve been letting that society convince us of what parts of ourselves are palatable, acceptable, and welcome. But we can’t depend on a broken society to share wisdom to make us less broken. You get to prove it’s safe to “decide” for yourself what parts of yourself are worth exploring and embodying and which are worth censoring. Rather than allowing society to decide the barriers for us. When you practice approaching the line in a safe circumstance, you are gradually restoring the ability to choose. Your agency is slowly seeping back into those cracks, with every new approach. Watch the Eliza Day Video HereRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1742 || future rehearsals
11:23|Don't forget to rehearse the best case scenario for every worst case scenario rehearsal. S - Stop! - Freeze! Your emotions may try to make you act without thinking. Stay in control! T - Take a step back! - Take a break. Let go. Take a breath. Reevaluate. O - Observe! - Notice what is going on inside and outside. What is the situation? What are your thoughts and feelings? What are others saying or doing?P - Proceed mindfully! - Act with awareness. Consider your thoughts and feelings, the situation, and other people’s thoughts and feelings. Think about your values and goals. Ask Wise Mind: Which actions will make it better or worse?Today's resource is accessible here. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1741 || take back the wheel
11:00|Make a commitment to drop your usual escape methods as soon as you notice yourself doing them, and redirect. Maybe that looks like doing the opposite action, or it could be something subtle you do mentally, or say out loud to yourself, or write down, or tell someone else about. Today's resource is accessible here and here. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1740 || practice not getting swept up
10:54|Practice, patience, and persistence is required to reinforce the neural pathways you'd rather reinforce. Some distress is unavoidable, and you are fully capable of dealing with distress. Balance improving + acceptance. When you feel yourself self soothing with something negative, redirect. Practice creating space between your immediate reaction and your actual response. Show your brain it's safe to practice new reactions. Today's resource is accessible here.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1739 || ride the wave
10:29|Coping with stress? No thanks. Avoiding stress? Yes please. I tend to use a combination platter of situational avoidance, numbing, reassurance seeking, over-planning, constant checking, and more! That said, it only creates more of a mess for me down the road.Something that has helped me sit with myself more honestly is to recognize that emotions and uncomfortable feelings come in waves. I can learn ways to ride them more joyfully, rather than trying to fight them or dodge them so terribly. The fear makes it worse. The avoidance makes the problem bigger. So I am learning to surf the waves through various options that depend on the context: Dive under and pop up refreshed and exhilarated. Body board or surf board (tools and resources available to make it fun) or Body surfing, trusting and allow the waves to guide you and you can bail when it’s no longer serving your journey. Today's resource is accessible here.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1738 || when discomfort feels impossible
09:46|The more we fear, struggle with, and try to avoid any form of distress, generally the worse that distress gets. Distress intolerance remains due to certain beliefs they have developed about experiencing negative emotions. These beliefs tend to centre on the notion that negative emotion is bad in some way, unbearable, unacceptable, or will lead to disastrous consequences. These beliefs tend to make any negative emotion that we may feel, become a highly distressing emotional experience. Today's resource is accessible here. Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1737 || distress intolerance
08:45|Today's resource is accessible here. A negative emotion in itself is not necessarily distressing, we only begin to feel distressed when we evaluate our emotional experience as a bad thing.Read Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.1736 || when your nervous system gets interrupted
08:53|Seeing traumatic symptoms as an interrupted natural response and as unreleased energy in the body rather than a disease can lift a burden for traumatized people. - Daniela Ramirez-DuranNoticing Physical Comfort – Feeling physical support and experiencing your physical boundaries in a safe space can bring feelings of comfort.Self-Soothing Touch – Boundaries are usually broken with trauma, and it is essential to recover this by working with the body. Touch can instill containment and create a soothing sensation.Soothing Breath – Breath and touch can help soothe both the body and the mind. Slow deep breathing can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, bringing a feeling of relaxation and calmness.Grounding and Centering – People commonly experience a loss of grounding and are thrown off balance. Grounding allows feelings of safety and inner strength to emerge.Evoking Kindness – Remembering a time when you experienced kindness from someone can evoke pleasant physical and emotional sensations.Recalling Being Yourself – Coming back to yourself can provide a greater sense of being grounded and feeling comfortable in your own skin.The Voo Sound – Making sounds and vibrations with your own voice can have a soothing effect on the body and can also be a means to discharge activation.Shake It Off – Animals often shake themselves to release the excess energy produced from the stress response. Allowing your body to connect with the trembling sensation produced by a stressful event can enable your system to settle.TODAY'S EPISODE CREDIT: https://positivepsychology.com/somatic-experiencing/https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/-/media/CCI/Consumer-Modules/Facing-Your-Feelings/Facing-Your-Feelings---01---Understanding-Distress-Intolerance.pdfRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.