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Make Your Damn Bed
1204 || learning to dance with the chaos
There’s something freeing about realizing it’s time to let go.
Life’s cycles sometimes match with my own, and things feel serendipitous and “meant to be” but more often than not, life cycles move faster than my own + I’m forced to play catch up on changes and news that I wasn’t just unprepared for, but in denial about. But things do happen. Life surprises you. And no matter how much you resist that reality, it doesn’t change it. I think life is a little bit fate and a little bit chaos. Like an improvised dance. Some steps may surprise you and others may feel like second nature, once you learn to stop resisting the unpredictability of it.
Because the steps are not meant to become more predictable to us, we’re just supposed to get better at flowing with it. Of learning as we go. Of learning how to let go when there is a mis-step and to have faith that the dancing will get more fun and beautiful as we continue.
But just because we stop cold in the middle of the dance, doesn’t mean the dancing stops. You can take a break, get a water, and become a wallflower if you want, but the real power comes from stepping back into the chaos and embracing the next moves with as much enthusiasm and joy as possible.
Because even if you choose to “hate dancing” and “sit this one out” life will eventually sweep you off your feet, and it’ll feel a lot more comfortable and enjoyable if you know how to confidently take a step or two for yourself, once in a while.
Learning a new way to dance in a new environment is not just possible, it can actually be enjoyable if I stop worrying about what I look like, or what the song was supposed to sound like, and instead I focus on finding my own rhythm within the flow that’s currently taking place.
I think I’ve spent a long time waiting for a more familiar song to play, so I can dance with confidence, but the longer I wait, the more resistant I get. If I can learn to jump in and “figure it out”, then the unfamiliar becomes familiar and the newness I feared is no longer new, and the resistance loses its power.
It feels counterintuitive, but sometimes the thing you’re resisting is the resistance itself. Once you stand up and listen to the music that’s playing, you may find yourself actually enjoying the process of finding your place within it.
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1873 || expressive emotions vs. suppression
11:40|How we display our emotions vary based on where we were born. There are consequences to our cultural influences. https://pressbooks.bccampus.ca/discoverpsychology2/chapter/culture-and-emotion/https://nobaproject.com/modules/culture-and-emotionhttps://www.saranahmed.com/books-1/https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/this-is-america/202603/how-social-cultural-and-political-structures-influence-our-feelingsSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
1872 || socialized emotion
10:41|The expression of our emotions, the value we put on them, and how we're affected by them is dependent on how we're socialized. The importance we put on certain emotions varies across cultures. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-cultures/201803/how-culture-shapes-emotionshttps://www.saranahmed.com/books-1/https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/this-is-america/202603/how-social-cultural-and-political-structures-influence-our-feelingsSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
1871 || emotions are manufactured
08:55|Emotions feel so internally important, but they are actually impacted by so much more than my personal experience. Our society manipulates our emotions and exploits us through them. https://www.saranahmed.com/books-1/https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/this-is-america/202603/how-social-cultural-and-political-structures-influence-our-feelingshttps://medium.com/@v_bhagya/the-politics-of-feeling-how-emotions-move-shape-and-control-us-51e5627a7e1fhttps://brianneradke.wordpress.com/2016/10/05/ahmed-sara-the-cultural-politics-of-emotion-introduction-feel-your-way/Support the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
1870 || when our emotions aren't ours
11:25|Our emotional states are heavily influenced by the stories we hear, but we tend to forget the narrative and only remember the "feelings". This means we can be influenced by stories that are completely made up. So, we can easily adopt feelings that aren't rooted in reality, but feel so real to us (the feeler), that we start to believe these feelings are facts. Emotions are movable. They connect us to "this and that". They move us, connect us, attach us, and transform us. We have the feelings, but erase the history of the feeling so that the feeling feels natural, and the story becomes irrelevant. This is how people can become emotionally attached to their own subordination. Norms appear through the concealment of repetition.https://www.saranahmed.com/books-1/https://pratiquesdhospitalite.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/245435211-sara-ahmed-the-cultural-politics-of-emotion.pdfhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cultural_Politics_of_EmotionSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
1869 || emotions are stories that impact our behaviors
12:08|We should be paying attention to what emotions DO rather than what they ARE.We assign emotional values to things because of the way we're taught in our culture. Our emotions orient us towards or away from certain bodies. It allows us to justify biases against entire groups of people because it becomes the cultural norm.Unfortunately, there are very bad people who take advantage of this cultural shaping through emotions. They weaponize hatred by co-opting language and making themselves the victims so that we can't help the TRUE victims.https://www.saranahmed.com/books-1/https://pratiquesdhospitalite.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/245435211-sara-ahmed-the-cultural-politics-of-emotion.pdfhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cultural_Politics_of_EmotionSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
1868 || the emotion economy
11:45|Emotions circulate and accumulate value across our society through repetition. We must pay attention to what these emotions DO rather than what they ARE. We assign emotional values to things because of the way we're taught in our culture. Our emotions orient us towards or away from certain bodies. It allows us to justify biases against entire groups of people because it becomes the cultural norm.Unfortunately, there are very bad people who take advantage of this cultural shaping through emotions. They weaponize hatred by co-opting language and making themselves the victims so that we can't help the TRUE victims. https://www.saranahmed.com/books-1/https://www.jstor.org/stable/10.3366/j.ctt1g09x4qhttps://pratiquesdhospitalite.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/245435211-sara-ahmed-the-cultural-politics-of-emotion.pdfhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cultural_Politics_of_EmotionSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
1867 || empathy isn't a sin
09:23|Love should not be harsh or tough. Empathy isn't a sin. It's a crucial aspect to our humanity. If you hear that empathy is a sin, that's a way to avoid the cognitive dissonance necessary to act out of alignment with your morals. Empathy is a central feature in our humanity. You can become more objective and reasonable about your empathy, without abandoning it completely. If your conscience is screaming that something isn't right, listen. Sure, we can be blinded by our subjective relationship to empathy, but we shouldn't be demonizing empathy itself. Anything that encourages you to ignore human suffering is propaganda. https://www.splcenter.org/resources/hatewatch/hard-right-influencers/www.theatlantic.com/ideas/2026/09/maga-right-christianity-empathy-toxic/688755/Support the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
1866 || compassionate empathy
10:55|We must incorporate moral reasoning, altruism, and compassion into our empathy. Otherwise, we may end up blinded by biases we can't even see. THE SOURCES: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Against_Empathyhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CompassionSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
1865 || the empathy trap
09:57|Too much empathy is not always a good thing. Human empathy is highly selective, which means it's not always "fair" or objective. Fortunately, there are ways to be empathetic, more fairly. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-problem-with/202605/the-problem-with-empathyhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Against_Empathyhttps://www.bbc.com/future/article/20200930-can-empathy-be-bad-for-youSupport the BDS movement.organize clothing swaps with your friends.Get free resources from Annas Archive.Join your local DSABecome a READING PARTNERRead Julie's Medium Blog.Support JULIE (and the show!)Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.Info on War Tax Resistance.Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief FundThe opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.