Share

cover art for 1219 || the social withdrawal cycle

Make Your Damn Bed

1219 || the social withdrawal cycle

There is a feedback loop that seems to happen whenever I’m spending more time alone. I notice that my need for connection seems to dissipate as my anger towards humanity inflates. Psychologists have noted this through various research and confirmed that “lonely individuals tend to think more negatively of others and see them as less trustworthy.”


If the feeling of loneliness really worked as it should, it would prompt prosocial behaviors that fulfill our need for belonging. It’s like a craving. Our bodies are craving social connection, so we should then seek it out to rectify that craving. But unfortunately, that’s not always the case. Especially for me. 


Basically, when you feel lonely, you probably also feel more depressed, which means you’re not feeling like your most “you, you”. And because you feel a bit unpleasant, it can exacerbate these issues. 


Scientists have long studied the correlation between depression symptoms and loneliness, but there seems to be less focus on the cyclical nature of these implications. 


The study I’ve been referring to did its best to track the associations between these feelings of loneliness and prosocial behaviors. 


Apparently this means the results from this study came with two distinct findings: 


Loneliness often comes with:

An increase in motivation to support others, but a poorer interpretation or execration of that social contact.


That idea that we want + seek out connections but feel an absence of soothing and support still, is the part that tends to push us further in the cycle of loneliness and despair. 


I thought it was interesting though, that it wasn’t just relationships with others we tend to be more negative about, when we’re lonely. According to the study, we also tend to evaluate ourselves more negatively as well. This lower sense of self confidence means that the odds are stacked against us. 


We feel lonely, so we feel more insecure, AND we feel more hesitant to let others in, which causes a validation of those negative biases. 


THE RESOURCE: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-020-75712-3 


DONATE:www.pcrf.net

Get Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + Links


GET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

OR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcast

OR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica 


The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.



More episodes

View all episodes

  • 1245 || anti-ideological activism

    10:26|
    " In effect we are saying the end is not as important as the means, we are turning hundreds of years of political form and content on its head by putting the means before the ends, by putting context in front of ideology, by rejecting purity and perfection." - Rebecca SolnitBUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/vallisaari/files/2018/06/Solnit_Hope_in_the_dark.pdfTHE AUTHOR: http://rebeccasolnit.net/THE RESOURCES FROM GW University: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
  • 1244 || hope in the dark

    10:22|
    "What could have happened if we could have spoken directly to the people in that wave, if we could have found common ground, if we could have made our position neither right nor left but truly grassroots? What would have happened if we had given them an alternate version of how local power was being sapped, by whom, and what they might do about it? We need them, we need a broad base, we need a style that speaks to far more people than the left has lately been able to speak to and for." - Rebecca SolnitBUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/vallisaari/files/2018/06/Solnit_Hope_in_the_dark.pdfTHE AUTHOR: http://rebeccasolnit.net/THE RESOURCES FROM GW University: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
  • 1243 || victory is the journey

    09:31|
    "Paradise is not the place in which you arrive but the journey toward it. Sometimes I think victories must be temporary or incomplete; what kind of humanity would survive paradise? The United States has tried to approximate paradise in its suburbias, with luxe, calme, volupte, culde-sacs, cable television and two-car garages, and it has produced a soft ennui that shades over into despair and a decay of the soul suggesting that Paradise is already a gulag. Countless desperate teenagers will tell you so. For paradise does not require of us courage, selflessness, creativity, passion: paradise in all accounts is passive, is sedative, and if you read carefully, soulless." - Rebecca SolnitBUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/vallisaari/files/2018/06/Solnit_Hope_in_the_dark.pdfTHE AUTHOR: http://rebeccasolnit.net/THE RESOURCES FROM GW University: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
  • 1242 || comedic alternatives to history

    10:20|
    "After all, most environmental victories look like nothing happened; the land wasn’t annexed by the army, the mine didn’t open, the road didn’t cut through, the factory didn’t spew effluents that didn’t give children asthma. They are triumphs invisible except through storytelling." - Rebecca Solnit BUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/vallisaari/files/2018/06/Solnit_Hope_in_the_dark.pdfTHE AUTHOR: http://rebeccasolnit.net/THE RESOURCES FROM GW University: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
  • 1241 || joy in resistance

    11:27|
    "It’s always too soon to go home. Most of the great victories continue to unfold, unfinished in the sense that they are not yet fully realized, but also in the sense that they continue to spread influence." - Rebecca Solnit BUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/vallisaari/files/2018/06/Solnit_Hope_in_the_dark.pdfTHE AUTHOR: http://rebeccasolnit.net/THE RESOURCES FROM GW University: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
  • 1240 || peace movements + their butterfly effect

    11:00|
    changing the world is not one with a tidy end goal that we will one day reach. it is an ever changing process that means we will always be working with it. and everything counts. no strategy is too small, as it often surprises us what actually makes change stick. the complexities are undeniable, but the straightforward knowing of what is right vs. what is wrong isn't complicated. we simply need to fight for the rights of all people and the planet, all the time. BUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/vallisaari/files/2018/06/Solnit_Hope_in_the_dark.pdfTHE AUTHOR: http://rebeccasolnit.net/THE RESOURCES FROM GWUniversity: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
  • 1239 || hope in despair

    11:23|
    there is power in active hope. despair can even be liberatory if we can learn not to be consumed by it. despair can turn us away from the deprivation that comes from refusing to seek out alternatives. if nothing else, please don't get attached to negative outcomes - even if they feel like the most realistic potential. hope should never been confined to certain limits. BUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/vallisaari/files/2018/06/Solnit_Hope_in_the_dark.pdfTHE AUTHOR: http://rebeccasolnit.net/THE RESOURCES FROM GWUniversity: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
  • 1238 || hope in the dark (via Rebecca Solnit)

    10:28|
    We often mistake unknowability for dread. We sometimes forget that darkness can be a place for rebirth and hope, not just fear and hopelessness. Today, I'm reading from Rebecca Solnit's essay/book "Hope in the Dark". BUY THE BOOK: https://www.haymarketbooks.org/books/791-hope-in-the-dark READ FROM THE BOOK: https://blogs.helsinki.fi/vallisaari/files/2018/06/Solnit_Hope_in_the_dark.pdfTHE AUTHOR: http://rebeccasolnit.net/THE RESOURCES FROM GWUniversity: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
  • 1237 || what we can do about the climate emergency

    11:42|
    Today is part four of our "how to take action towards the climate crisis" and we're talking about what type of action needs to be taken.Remember: It's not too late. Every action counts. But don't get overwhelmed with doing everything. Instead, choose something + act. Every little bit helps.THE GUIDEBOOK: https://www.nottoolateclimate.com/_files/ugd/c8ef46_65f7332b00de468aa7091e31a4b2f772.pdfTHE AUTHOR: http://rebeccasolnit.net/THE RESOURCES FROM GWUniversity: https:// onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/sources-for-climate-news/MORE RESOURCES: 350.org AND https://hiphopcaucus.org/action-center/DONATE:www.pcrf.netGet Involved:Operation Olive Branch: Spreadsheets + LinksGET AN OCCASIONAL PERSONAL EMAIL FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.comTUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR COOL CONTENT: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcastOR BE A REAL GEM + TUNE IN ON PATREON: www.patreon.com/MYDBpodcastOR WATCH ON YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/juliemerica The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.