Christine McKay - Why not ask? How to negotiate and get more without the battle
How do you feel about the word negotiation?
When most people hear the term negotiation, they usually think of tense conversations, fighting for what you deserve and a battlefield mindset.
Yet what if that whole concept – that of thinking about negotiation as a form of combat – meant you never actually get what you want?
What if treating it as a zero sum game, with one winner and one loser, prevented the most valuable outcomes from ever even being discussed?
My guest today believes negotiation is the opposite of combat.
Christine McKay is the Founder and CEO of Venn Negotiation, a company through which she turns clients into world-class negotiators.
As a powerhouse negotiator Christine has worked with roughly half of the Fortune 500 companies on the planet, negotiated billions of dollars worth of deals – more often than not from what was presumed to be the weaker side of the table.
She is also the author of ‘Why Not Ask?: A Conversation About Getting More.’ A step by step guide to no longer giving up on what you really want, simply because you don’t know how to ask for it.
However, incredibly, that resume isn’t the most amazing thing about Christine.
For that you need to rewind a couple of decades. To when Christine was a homeless single mother living in a trailer and surviving on welfare.
How she went from that situation, to eventually earning an MBA at Harvard University, then onto one of the most globally sought negotiators in the world – is a story that will blow your mind.
- Her journey from a homeless single mother to globally sought-after negotiator
- The key mistakes people make in the negotiation process and how to avoid them
- Why you can’t negotiate by talking about the past – only about the present.
- The unbelievable power of creating your own advisory board.
- Why ‘no’ is always the most powerful word in any negotiation.
- Finally, why you need to know your values, before you start negotiating your value.
References and links mentioned
- Christine offers a course that gives people the basics for business negotiation and how to effectively negotiate to get more of what you want in her VennMasters Level 1 course.
Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of the Inside Influence Podcast! Please head over to iTunes, subscribe to the show, and leave an honest review. Also, don’t forget to hop on my website juliemasters.com and download my new ebook The Influencer Code or become an insider by signing up to my newsletter.
170. Chris Barton on the story of Shazam, doing the impossible and a 'start from zero' mindset01:02:25Have you ever heard a song while you’re in a bar, at a restaurant, out shopping, or watching TV and wondered: “What is the name of that song?” Although you may not have heard of my guest today, I can almost guarantee you’ve heard of his product. Over 2 billion people have downloaded it, 8 million new users every month use it (without a dollar of marketing) and in 2017 Apple bought it for $400 million dollars. That company is of course – ShazamToday’s Guest My guest on today’s episode is Chris Barton. Chris is the first CEO and Founder of Shazam and an Innovation Keynote Speaker. When Chris first founded Shazam in the year 2000, it was an idea considered too far ahead of its time. To give that some context, this was three years before iTunes, seven years before the invention of the iPhone and eight years before anyone had heard of an App Store. To put it simply - there was no market for digital music.Chris went on to accomplish what everyone told him was impossible. Taking his idea from ‘it will never work’ to creating a global phenomenon, redefining the music industry and giving birth to the unofficial verb: “Can you Shazam this song for me?”. LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cjpbarton/You’ll LearnHis struggle with undiagnosed dyslexia and ADHD as a child – a disadvantage that he now considers to be his absolute super power.The story of pitching a demo version of Shazam to potential VC’s and being told: "I don't see why anyone would ever use that.". Then why that became his motivation to take Shazam into the stratosphere.The importance of holding a ‘start from zero’ mindset. Which involves questioning every assumption others hold to be true - then building from those basic truths.How hard he had to fight to keep the name ‘Shazam’ and how to walk the line between staying true to your vision – and leaning into other peoples expertise.Finally his learnings on how to get traction with an idea that’s years ahead of its time – from pitching the ‘un-pitchable’ to the core levers of achieving groundswell.References and links mentionedMy new ebook The Influencer CodeIf you liked this episode, you might also enjoyTom AsackerBill ColettiSubscribe to and Review the Inside Influence PodcastThanks for tuning into this week’s episode of the Inside Influence Podcast! If the information in my conversations and interviews have helped you in your business journey, please head over to iTunes, subscribe to the show, and leave an honest review. Your reviews and feedback will not only help us continue to deliver great, helpful content, but it will also help us reach even more amazing people just like you!Also, don’t forget to hop on my website juliemasters.com and download my new ebook The Influencer Code or become an insider by signing up to my newsletter.
169. Dr Kristy Goodwin on taming the tech, setting boundaries and thriving in a digital world01:13:53Which of these has more influence over your day.Your priorities, focus and close relationships – or the demands and temptations of your digital device?Maybe it’s a hard question to answer, maybe it’s easy.Maybe you like the answer, maybe you don’t.Either way, if influence requires focus, then how we handle the ongoing ‘creep’ of the digital world into our lives becomes one of the most important decisions we can make.My guest today on Inside influence is on a mission to help professionals, parents and their families tame their tech habits and stop being a slave to the screen.Today’s GuestDr Kristy Goodwin provides research-based, yet realistic, strategies to using technology in productive and purposeful ways - without reverting to phone bans or digital detoxes. Hands up guilty on that one.She is a global speaker and media commentator – as well as author of my new handbook: ‘Dear Digital we need to talk- A guilt free guide to taming your tech habits and thriving in a digital world’.This is Kristy’s second time on the podcast. Our first conversation was so powerful and practical that, rather than edit it to the usual length, we turned it into a two part series. Such is her ability to combine practicality, eye opening data and ‘guilt free’ wisdom on a topic we all need to master.LinkedIn : Dr-KristyGoodwinInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/drkristy/You’ll LearnWhy one of the most intimate relationships we have today is with a screen – and how to turn that relationship from ‘toxic’ into a powerful tool for focus.Why digital detoxes don’t work How to “Build a fortress around your focus” – whether that’s focusing on work or the relationships that are so critical to our wellbeing.Finally, the non-negotiable boundaries she uses in her own life to ‘tame the tech’The largest gift I received from this conversation was more awareness. I know that doesn’t sound like much at first.The truth is that the technology we have now - and whatever it is we’re hurtling towards – comes with no handbook, not even from the creators themselves.References and links mentionedMy new ebook The Influencer Codehttps://drkristygoodwin.com/If you liked this episode, you might also enjoyKristy Goodwin Part 1Kristy Goodwin Part 2Subscribe to and Review the Inside Influence PodcastThanks for tuning into this week’s episode of the Inside Influence Podcast! Please head over to iTunes, subscribe to the show, and leave an honest review. Don’t forget to hop on my website juliemasters.com and download my new ebook The Influencer Code or become an insider by signing up to my newsletter. Influencer Code or become an insider by signing up to my newsletter.
168. George Dawes Green on The Moth and the art and power of sharing our stories01:04:42What makes a powerful storyteller?Those able to tell a story that - whether it’s from a porch, a stage, a bar or an auditorium - can literally change the fabric of the air around you. Those able to, from their first breath, plunge us into a world completely different from our own. Yet still offer a roadmap we can use to solve our own challenges.Those able to literally change the way we view the world.My guest today is not only one such globally regarded storyteller. His vision and commitment has also amplified over 50,000+ human stories across the planet.Today’s Guest George Dawes Green is an award winning author and Founder of The Moth. His first novel, The Caveman’s Valentine, won the Edgar Award and became a motion picture starring Samuel L. Jackson. His second - The Juror was an international bestseller in more than twenty languages and became the basis for the movie starring Demi Moore and Alec Baldwin. His most recent The Kingdoms of Savanna is currently being made into a major television series.However, for me, George’s impact reaches much further.Back to 1997, when he first founded The Moth from his lounge room in New York.The Moth, as he would describe it, is “a raconteur club” that he created to recreate the feeling of sultry summer evenings in his native Georgia. When moths were attracted to the light on the porch where he and his family would gather to spin spellbinding tales. The first New York Moth event was held in George’s living room and the story events quickly spread to larger venues throughout the city. It has since brought more than 50,000+ live stories to audiences across six continents.The Moth podcast, containing some of these stories, also won a Webby People’s Voice Award Winner for Best Podcast Series, and is downloaded more than 100 million times a year. If you haven’t already discovered it please just trust me on this one.Instagram: @georgedawesgreenYou’ll LearnHow The Moth began from his own hunger to replicate the intimacy and power of the storytelling of his childhood.What he’s discovered about our collective hunger to share stories – including the ability of one human story to change the entire fabric of a room.Finally, why the audience is always willing you to succeed – and how tapping into THAT knowledge gives you permission to speak from a place of both truth and clarity.References and links mentionedMy new ebook The Influencer CodeGeorge's website, and his most recent book, The Kingdoms of SavannahThanks for tuning into this week’s episode of the Inside Influence Podcast! Please head over to iTunes, subscribe to the show, and leave an honest review. Don’t forget to hop on my website juliemasters.com and download my new ebook The Influencer Code or become an insider by signing up to my newsletter. Influencer Code or become an insider by signing up to my newsletter.
167. AJ Jacobs on facing life's challenges with curiosity, grit and a Puzzler mindset01:02:30Why is developing a ‘puzzle mindset’ the key to influence?A few years ago, I developed a bit of an obsession.It started out as innocent and then became an addiction that, like all addictions, began to expand into more and more corners of my life.That obsession was with the world of puzzling.Sudoku, crosswords, train tracks, word finders. You name it I had to solve it.Perhaps it was a reaction to the pandemic, to all the countless facets of life and the world I couldn’t begin to solve. Or maybe, it just gave me something I was missing.A safe space to channel my curiosity and restless mind. To be honest I thought I was alone in my addiction - until I came across a book from my guest today.That book was called “The Puzzler - one man's quest to solve the most baffling puzzles ever from crosswords to jigsaws to the meaning of life”. Today’s Guest AJ Jacobs is a best-selling author, journalist and human guinea pig. He has written four bestsellers including, ‘The Year of Living Biblically’ - for which he followed all of the rules of the bible as literally as possible and ‘Thanks a Thousand’ for which he went around the world and thanked every person who had even the smallest role in making his morning cup of coffee possible. He has given four TED talks with a combined 10 million+ views, he also regularly contributes to NPR and the New York Times. He was also once, perhaps most importantly, the answer to No 1. DOWN in the New York Times crossword puzzle.Twitter:- @ajjacobs Instagram:- @ajjacobsincYou’ll LearnWhy AJ has always considered himself to be a human guinea pig – and how developing an ‘experimental mindset’ changed the entire trajectory of his life.Why every challenge we face is a puzzle – and how by consciously approaching and talking about it that way - we can tap into unlimited amounts of curiosity, energy and enthusiasm.Why the best piece of advice he ever received was: ‘Don't get furious - Get curious’.Finally, we discuss a beautiful tradition called ‘generational puzzles’. Essentially a puzzle that’s passed down from generation to generation - because no one person can solve it alone.This conversation will twist your brain and hopefully leave you in a place where you can better approach the puzzles of your own life. AJ also poses a few riddles that, for those of you that don’t have the patience to puzzle them out yourself, you can find the answers in the shownotes.For me, I know when I approach anything in my life – goals, conflict, overwhelm – as a puzzle to solve, I immediately start asking better questions.What are the constraints? How long do I have? What resources can I call on? What are the available clues? What assumptions am I making?That shift – from powerless to puzzled – usually holds the key to moving forward.References and links mentionedMy new ebook The Influencer Code https://bit.ly/3djTTpsThanks for tuning into this week’s episode of the Inside Influence Podcast! Please head over to iTunes, subscribe to the show, and leave an honest review. Don’t forget to hop on my website juliemasters.com and download my new ebook The Influencer Code or become an insider by signing up to my newsletter. Influencer Code or become an insider by signing up to my newsletter.
166. Jane Adshead-Grant - The profound impact of becoming a better listener01:10:56How do we become powerful listeners?Listening is probably one of the most underestimated tools of influence.Think for a moment about the leaders that have had the most impact on you. The people who have changed your mind or perspective. Those who made you feel heard and therefore valued in every single interaction.I guarantee you they would have mastered the art of profound listening.Today’s Guest My guest on Inside Influence today believes that listening holds the key to impact.Jane Adshead Grant is a Master Certified Coach, a Listening Specialist and secret weapon to those who lead some of the world’s most powerful brands.She is also the author of ‘Are you listening or just waiting to speak? The secret to propelling your business relationships’. Jane fiercely believes that listening lies at the heart of influence. To building relationships that thrive when times get hard – as well as to loving and leading from a place of deep connection. This episode made me want to recommit to the art of listening.LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/janeadsheadgrantInstagram - JaneadsheadgrantYou’ll LearnHow to stop being a lazy listener – and what we miss out on when it comes to establishing deep connections with those we lead or love.The core listening traps we often fall into - including interruption, impatience and internally rehearsing how we want to respond.How to set the stage for those who find it hard to open up. Including the key questions you can ask to get them to share and feel heard.Finally, we unpack some of the moments in our own lives - as leaders, partners and parents - when deep listening enabled a profound breakthrough in connection.I’ve honestly used the tools every day since our conversation.The result has been a calmer, more present and deeply connected way of interacting with the people in my life that matter the most.A way of creating space where challenges can be solved - without feeling like I need to find the perfect words, perfect message or perfect moment.In other words, it completely changed how I show up.On that note, sit back, cycle on, settle in and enjoy the incredible – Jane Adshead Grant.References and links mentionedMy new ebook The Influencer CodeWebsites: janeadsheadgrant.comThelisteningcoach.co.ukIf you liked this episode, you might also enjoyJulia DharLeslie EhmThanks for tuning into this week’s episode of the Inside Influence Podcast! Please head over to iTunes, subscribe to the show, and leave an honest review. Also, don’t forget to hop on my website juliemasters.com and download my new ebook The Influencer Code or become an insider by signing up to my newsletter. Influencer Code or become an insider by signing up to my newsletter.
165. Ben Jones is back to talk AI, the 4 hour advert and The Third Era of Marketing01:08:27What’s the future of storytelling?Before you try to answer this question, consider these facts.Al software can now generate video content on demand – in one year's time you will be able to generate an entire movie based on a few simple lines of text.Short story platforms (Tik Tok, Snapchat, Instagram) have now hit staggering views of 30 billion views a day. At the same time in 2021 the streamers (Netflix, Amazon, Disney) released more than 1800 original series – that’s a staggering 90% increase since 2017.So what on earth, you may ask, does all of this mean about the future of story?Today, once again, to help me answer that question is Global Director of Creative Works at Google, the brilliant Ben Jones.For those of you that don’t know Ben, you are in for a feast. Today’s Guest Ben Jones is Creative Director at Google and Head of Unskippable Labs. A team within Google designated with the huge task of studying the 1 BILLION hours of videos that are viewed onto YouTube EVERY SINGLE DAY. Their mission? To work out exactly what makes us press, or not press, the SKIP button. Decoding ‘in real time’ the stories that attract and hold the attention of their 122 million visitors a day. Essentially – what makes a story UnSkippable.This is Ben’s fourth time on the podcast. However, and I may say this every time, this is by far my favorite conversation.This feels like a cumulation of all Ben’s predictions about the future of storytelling since we met four years ago – each coming rapidly and simultaneously to life. LinkedIn : https://bit.ly/3JPbBiGTwitter: @harperjonesYou’ll LearnHow COVID reset all our patterns when it comes to the stories (and adverts) we pay attention to – and the trends Ben is now watching emerge. The role of story length when it comes to engagement – this one hit me hard. Including why 3 minute videos are now more powerful than 30 seconds and why the most successful advert he has ever seen – runs for four hours.We talk about why micro-cultures are now more powerful than demographics i.e. why ‘what you love’ is now a better indicator of engagement, than ‘who you are’.We unpack the 3rd era of marketing. An era made up of big stories, invitations and automations.Finally, and unexpectedly – we discuss his experience in navigating one of the hardest chapters of his life – and how a simple poem he wrote became a blueprint that kept him (and eventually many others) moving forward.References and links mentionedMy new ebook The Influencer CodeNissan ARIYA 4-hour advert -https://bit.ly/3FCdVHj With me videos - https://bit.ly/3Z478ge Medium article ‘If not joy, then joy’s direction’ - https://bit.ly/3mT4dJV Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of the Inside Influence Podcast! Please head over to iTunes, subscribe to the show, and leave an honest review. Also, don’t forget to hop on my website juliemasters.com and download my new ebook The Influencer Code or become an insider by signing up to my newsletter.
164. Zoe Chance on why influence is your superpower and what's holding you back01:23:46What holds you back from having the influence you want?Quickly listen to the first thing that comes into your mind. It might have been a sense that somehow you’re not charismatic enough, or not aggressive enough – or maybe the opposite. You talk too much and forget to listen or emotionally engage.So if we have a clear idea on the blocks that are holding back from the influence we know we’re capable of having. What stops us?According to my guest today, tapping into your true influence superpower is like learning a new language. We all say we want it, but few of us are prepared to go through the discomfort and awkwardness of becoming fluent.Today’s Guest My guest today is Yale Professor and super human, Zoe Chance. Zoe is a writer, teacher, researcher and climate philanthropist. Her latest bestselling book is called ‘Influence Is Your Superpower.’ She has a doctorate from Harvard and teaches the most popular course (in that it completely sells out every year) at Yale School of Management. Her research is published in top academic journals and covered in global media outlets. She speaks on television and around the world, and her framework for behavior change is the foundation for Google’s global food policy. Twitter: @zoebchanceFacebook & Linkedin: @zoechanceYou’ll LearnWhy the universe is not designed for our pleasure, and what that has to do with how we influence ourselves and (as we both discovered) the wiring of our children. The difference between our ‘alligator’ mind and our ‘judge’ mind – and you guessed it, why it’s always wise to win over the alligator first.Why you should focus on changing someone’s ‘behavior’ and not their ‘mind’. The main misconceptions about what it takes to be a person of influenceFinally, how Zoe is dealing with her own influence blocks right now. Believe me, the further you go on your influence journey – the more upper limits you will encounter and the better the tools you learn to employ.References and links mentionedMy new ebook The Influencer Code https://bit.ly/3djTTpsZoe’s book Influence Is Your SuperpowerInfluence Insights NewsletterThanks for tuning into this week’s episode of the Inside Influence Podcast! Please head over to iTunes, subscribe to the show, and leave an honest review. Also, don’t forget to hop on my website juliemasters.com and download my new ebook The Influencer Code or become an insider by signing up to my newsletter.
163. Erik Qualman on standing out, The Focus Project and the (not so) simple art of doing less01:16:23What’s holding you back from focus right now?Most of us started this year with (hopefully) some clarity on what we want to set in motion. Goals we want to kick, freedom we want to create, impact and influence we want to build.Yet what if I told you that the key to achieving any of those intentions was a commitment to doing less rather than more?My guest today is the King of getting maximum impact, with minimum distraction.Today’s Guest Erik Qualman is a 5 time #1 Bestselling Author and speaker, having performed in over 55 countries and reached over 50 million people. His books ‘Socialnomic: How social media transforms the way we live and do business’, ‘Digital Leader – Five simple keys to success and influence’ and his latest ‘The Focus Project – The not so simple art of doing less’ have been on the CEO lists of must-reads for over a decade. Erik’s work first caught my attention a few years ago. When a video he created seemed like it was being played on loop by every influencer, industry expert and CEO I knew. Literally every conference I attended or spoke at - Erik’s video was played from the stage.That video was ‘Socialnomics’, a video trailer for what would become his bestselling book of the same name. It was a two minute visual feast detailing everything you need to know, and couldn’t have imagined, about the rise of social media. If you haven’t seen it, or want to see a book trailer that literally created a global best seller, check it out here.So, needless to say, I’ve wanted to dive into Erik’s brain for awhile.Twitter, Instagram and Tik Tok: @equalman You’ll LearnHow Erik created ‘Socialnomics’ and the keys to using content for massive cut through.The story behind Erik’s legendary lime green glasses and why stepping through your story, rather than avoiding it, is the most powerful thing you can do to stand out.Why Erik wrote ‘The Focus Project’ as the ‘anti-venom’ to his first book. A journey that began when he noticed his own inability to focus into a world of digital distraction.What’s on Erik’s ‘Not To Do’ list right now – and how you can learn way more from learning what someone is committed not to doing, than what they’re hoping to attempt.Finally, the advice he gives his own children about how to manage their focus and make a mark, in a world of never ending distraction.The biggest piece of gold I got out of this conversation was a question I have since shared with many people in my inner circle who are trying to focus:“What’s the ONE thing that if I do it well will make everything else easier or not necessary?”Answer that question, then focus like your life depends on it.References and links mentionedMy new ebook The Influencer Codehttps://equalman.com/the-focus-project/Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of the Inside Influence Podcast! Please head over to iTunes, subscribe to the show, and leave an honest review. Also, don’t forget to hop on my website juliemasters.com and download my new ebook The Influencer Code or become an insider by signing up to my newsletter.