How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

If your child is anxious, you already know how hard evenings can be. You sit beside them wanting desperately to help, but every time you try to reassure them, it backfires. Logic doesn’t land. Distraction doesn’t stick. And sometimes, despite your best intentions, the thing you say makes everything worse.This episode gives you something you can use tonight.I’ll walk you through five specific, evidence‑based questions that shift an anxious child from overwhelm into curiosity, even if they’re tired, irritable, or shutting down.These questions work because they bypass the logical brain (which is offline during anxiety) and instead help your child observe what’s happening inside them with a little more distance and a lot more safety.You’ll learn exactly why each question works, how to use them, and what to do when your child gives you nothing but a shrug or a grunt. By the end, you’ll have a simple, repeatable toolkit you can rely on every night - no scripts, no pressure, no perfect parenting required.If you’ve been searching for the right words to help your worried child, this episode gives you five you can use before bedtime.Highlights from this episode:00:59 - What you get from this episode03:34 - The 5 questions06:53 - Give the worry a form09:25 - A brutal inner demon11:22 - Two red flags💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

If your child is melting down over homework, asking endless “what if” questions, getting mysterious tummy aches, refusing school, withdrawing from activities, or exploding the moment they walk through the door, you need this episode.I work with anxious and dysregulated children every single day, and what I want you to know is this: most of the behaviours parents struggle with aren’t actually behaviour problems - they’re anxiety in disguise.Spoiler alert: the more you reassure, explain, distract or accommodate, the worse the anxiety quietly becomes.In this episode, I’ll walk you through what childhood anxiety really is (and what it absolutely isn’t), why your child’s nervous system is behaving like a smoke alarm, and why logic and reassurance never stick.You’ll learn the skills‑gap model that changes everything about how we approach anxiety, and the first practical steps you can take today to help your child feel safer, calmer, and more capable.If you’ve ever felt helpless, confused, or guilty in the face of your child’s worry, this episode will give you clarity, direction, and a framework that finally makes sense.Mentioned in this episode:The Take 10 Technique - https://drmaryhan.com/episode/breathing-techniques-for-anxious-children/ Highlights from this episode:00:52 - Saying “it’s fine” doesn’t work!03:05 - It’s not your fault08:24 - Children should feel anxious12:25 - How to recognise anxiety15:56 -You’re probably making it worse18:18 - This will change everything23:10 - When to seek additional help💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

If you’re raising a boy, you already know this: you can believe in him with your whole heart, and still watch him struggle to believe in himself.  You tell him he’s brilliant and he shrugs it off.You encourage him and he brushes it away.You try to have a meaningful conversation and suddenly his phone becomes the most fascinating object on earth.Meanwhile, you can see the gap widening - the gap between how you see him and how he sees himself. And nothing you say seems to close it.This episode gives you one simple, evidence‑based daily habit that will.One question that teaches your son to look inward, recognise his own effort, and build confidence from the inside out - not from praise, not from performance, not from comparison.I’ll show you exactly how to use it at every age, what to do when he rolls his eyes or gives you nothing, and how this tiny daily ritual slowly rewires the way he sees himself.If you want a practical, realistic way to strengthen your son’s confidence - one that actually sticks - this is the episode you cannot afford to skip.Highlights from this episode:02:15 - Let’s talk about the bucket04:17 - The only daily question you need to ask06:56 - Every age is different10:44 - Two flags!💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

If your child is melting down, shutting down, refusing school, avoiding sleep, snapping back, or clinging to you because something feels “wrong” but they can’t explain what, you’re in the right place.I’m Dr Maryhan, a psychologist who works with anxious and dysregulated children every single day. And here’s what I want you to know: most of the behaviours that keep you up at night aren’t really about behaviour at all. Underneath the back‑chat, the tears, the slammed doors, the school‑morning battles, there is almost always anxiety, and a child whose emotional bucket is full and overflowing.And parents of those children? We zoom in so close, replaying conversations at 2am, questioning every decision, wondering if we’re making it worse, that we lose the wide lens. The perspective that says: your child isn’t broken... and neither are you.This podcast gives you that wide lens back.If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, confused, or alone in your child’s big feelings, then listen and follow wherever you get your podcasts.Pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and let’s do this together.

If you’re raising a boy right now, you already know this: the world he’s growing up in is tougher, louder, and more confusing than ever, and the cracks in his confidence can appear long before you realise what’s happening.Maybe you’ve watched your son compare himself to other boys and quietly decide he’s not good enough.Maybe he shrinks back, masks who he really is, or performs confidence he doesn’t actually feel.Maybe he’s a teenager who barely speaks to you anymore, and you’re terrified you’re losing the connection you once had.Or maybe he’s still little, and you can already see how easily the world will shape him if you don’t get ahead of it.This episode is your roadmap.I’ll show you exactly how confidence is built in boys - from babyhood to young adulthood - and the subtle ways we accidentally undermine it without ever meaning to. You’ll learn what to say, what to stop saying, the moments that matter most, and the strategies that genuinely shift a boy’s internal world.I’ll also show you how to protect him from the pressures, comparisons and online influences that quietly erode boys’ self‑belief.If you want your son to grow into a young man who knows who he is, trusts himself, and comes to you when it matters, this episode is the one you cannot afford to skip.Highlights from this episode:02:36 - Confidence starts earlier than you think05:38 - Are you creating emotional safety?09:44 - Tweens and teens14:46 - Your son is desperate to be accepted18:46 - The confidence conversation guide 💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

If your children have been at each other all week, this episode will change everything.I’m diving into one of the biggest sources of family stress - sibling conflict - and why it’s almost never about the toy, the sofa, or the “look” one child gave the other, and nearly always about your children’s emotional buckets overflowing.In this bucket-emptying episode, I walk you through three powerful tools I use with families every day:• Weekly one‑to‑one special time that transforms behaviour through connection• Protected “own time” so each child can decompress and reset• Real‑time descriptive praise that rewires the emotional climate in your homeYou’ll learn how to stop refereeing, reduce friction, and help your children regulate themselves, even during school holidays, long weekends, or those intense indoor days when everyone is in each other’s pockets.Pick one tool this week and watch the shift.You’ve got this!So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:55 - Sibling conflict is not what you think02:07 - Special time07:19 - Time and space09:14 - Descriptive praise💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

You don’t need more time with your child. You just need five intentional minutes.And in this episode, I’ll show you exactly why those tiny moments matter more than you think.If you’ve ever worried that you’re not present enough, not connected enough, or that the days are slipping by while you’re juggling work, life and everything in between, you’re not alone. I hear this from parents constantly, but the research is clear and reassuring: children don’t need perfect parenting - they need consistent, emotionally responsive moments that tell them, “You matter to me.”In this episode, I’ll walk you through the science behind connection, why guilt is not reliable data, and what children truly need to feel secure and loved.You’ll learn four powerful micro‑moments you can weave into any day, including the two‑minute reunion, naming one feeling, child‑led play, and the pause‑before‑help technique that builds resilience in real time.I’ll also share creative ways to stay connected when you can’t be physically present, from handwritten notes to voice messages to slow‑motion games played across the day.If you’re ready to feel more connected to your child without adding anything overwhelming to your plate, this episode will change the way you see your everyday moments.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:28 - It only takes five minutes02:42 - Parental guilt07:31 - The one thing all children need11:13 - How to support dysregulation12:45 - The two minute reunion14:35 - Name a feeling18:11 - Pause before you help19:43 - Connecting over physical distance24:31 - Games across time and space💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Back‑chat isn’t your child being “difficult” - it’s a message. And in this episode, I’m going to show you how to finally hear it.If you’re dealing with eye‑rolls, snappy comebacks, or that sudden surge of attitude that leaves you wondering what on earth is happening, you’re not alone. So I’m going to unpack what back‑chat really means, why it shows up at any age, and the psychological needs sitting underneath it… especially your child’s deep drive for autonomy, agency and connection.You’ll learn the five hidden triggers that often fuel back‑chat (including stress, developmental leaps and inconsistent boundaries), and I’ll walk you through the five strategies I use with families every day to reduce defiance and rebuild cooperation.From offering meaningful choices, to shifting the power dynamic without losing authority, to creating daily connection time that transforms behaviour, you’ll come away with practical tools you can use immediately.If you’re ready to turn back‑chat from a battle into a breakthrough, this episode is for you.So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:53 - Back-chat is not just a teen thing03:04 - The biggest symptoms10:22 - 5 strategies for coping with back-chat13:20 - The Three Cs17:07 - How are you doing?💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.