How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

Has homework become a battle?Has your child stopped trying or caring?In this episode, I’m talking directly to the parents who feel like their child’s motivation has quietly slipped away, because I want to help you understand what’s really going on underneath that perceived lack of effort.Spoiler alert: it’s almost never laziness.I’m going to walk you through why pushing harder doesn’t work, why rewards and consequences lose their power, and what motivation really looks like in a developing brain. Then I’m going to share five practical things you can start doing today to help your child reconnect with learning and learn how to feel proud of themselves again.If you’ve been feeling stuck, frustrated, or worried about your child’s motivation, this episode will help you see the problem differently and give you a clear path forward.So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:58 - The two kinds of motivation06:31 - The three skills in this episode08:26 - Early years and primary school12:56 - Middle childhood and finding a sense of self17:59 - Autism & ADHD23:04 - My top five things27:59 - Autonomy supporting language💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Is your teenager ghosting you?Do they feel more distant and shut off?Are you scared that your relationship with them is fading away?Spoiler alert: we’ve all been there, and I promise you it’s nothing to panic about.When your teenager stops talking to you, it can feel like you’ve lost the child you once knew. The little person who used to climb into your bed and tell you everything is now quiet, distant, and locked behind their bedroom door.So in today’s bucket-emptying episode, I explain what’s actually happening in the teenage brain, why this withdrawal is normal (even healthy), and why the old ways of getting them to open up no longer work.I am going to share five practical things you can start doing today that genuinely help rebuild connection. You’ll learn how to stop overthinking when your teen pulls away, how to ask the right questions, and what to do when your teenager gives you absolutely nothing at all (we’ve all been there!).This episode will help you understand what your teen is going through, and give you the tools to reconnect in a way that works for both of you.So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:00 - An elastic band05:27 - My five top tips08:28 - Stop the Spanish Inquisition12:42 - Listen without agenda15:16 - Do not disturb💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

When a family separates, everything shifts. As parents we want to protect our children, but it can feel overwhelming when we don’t always have the answers.In this episode, I walk you through what the facts tells about children and parental separation, and why long‑term wellbeing is about how we manage conflict, how we communicate, and how we support our children emotionally as they adjust.In today’s episode you will learn what children need at different developmental stages, from toddlers to teenagers, and I give five practical steps you can start using right now. And for parents of neurodiverse children, I also outline the specific things you can do to make transitions between homes feel much easier.This episode is here to help you feel steadier, clearer, and more confident… and to remind you that our children are far more adaptable than we give them credit for, but we have to model what that looks like.So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:00 - Separating is ok!04:11 - Fine lens wide lens07:22 - Different needs at different stages12:48 - Protect your child from the conflict15:34 - Your child is NOT a messenger20:57 - The messages every child needs to hear.26:10 - Neurodiverse children💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

In this episode, I’m talking honestly about something so many parents worry about - a child who “won’t read”, says reading is boring, or hasn’t picked up a book in years.I explain why this isn’t a motivation problem at all, but a skills gap in reading identity, attention, language, and confidence. And once you understand what’s really going on underneath the surface, helping your child become a reader becomes far more straightforward.I walk you through the wide‑lens view of reading: why some children haven’t yet found the right book, why reading has accidentally become a chore, and why the digital world makes sustained attention harder for every child.I also share five practical things you can start today to help your child rediscover a love of reading that lasts for life.So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:00 - The biggest predictor of academic success04:03 - Why reading skills matter08:06 - 5 things that actually help12:06 - Let your kids read whatever they want16:38 - Model reading to your children19:22 - Stop doing these things right now💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

A child melts down at the door, stomach pain, tears, refusal, and you’re standing there with a 9am meeting to get to, unsure whether to push harder or give in.Your child is at a developmental crossroads, but when should does normal age-appropriate behaviour become emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA)? And more importantly, what can you do about it?Not every worry is an anxiety disorder, and when we treat normal discomfort as something it isn’t, we risk teaching children that hard feelings mean something is wrong with them.In this episode, I help you to understand the difference between something totally expected for your child’s developmental stage, versus something that may need some additional support and attention.I am going to share the four functions of avoidance to look out for, and give you some practical things you can do to help your kids right away.So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:56 - 2 truths07:25 - 4 reasons for school avoidance10:48 - 3 levels of distress tolerance16:13 - The core skills you’re building19:01 - Neurodiversity and school avoidance24:39 - Maryhan’s top tips31:46 - You can do these things right now…37:52 - Where to get support💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.comDISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Is bedtime a battle?Does your child wake through the night?Or are you simply unsure whether your child is getting enough sleep?Most parents think of sleep as “rest”, but once you understand what sleep is actually doing inside your child’s developing brain, everything changes.In today’s episode, I break down the science behind sleep - what it really says about memory consolidation, emotional regulation, growth, immunity and mental health, and how chronic sleep loss shows up in behaviour in more ways than just yawning!I’ll walk you through age‑by‑age sleep guidelines, the neuroscience behind sleep, why some children wake repeatedly, why teenagers genuinely can’t fall asleep early, and how circadian rhythm disruptions quietly sabotage bedtime.And I also share with you five practical, proven things that genuinely help, and you can start doing them tonight.Sleep isn’t a luxury. It’s the foundation of learning, behaviour, resilience and emotional wellbeing. Once you understand this, you’ll never look at bedtime the same way again.So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:00 - Your child does 4 things in sleep that they do not do awake04:27 - Sleep is not a luxury item08:02 - How much sleep does your child need?11:40 - Learnt sleep associations16:34 - 5 things that actually help23:11 - Practical things you can do💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Today, I’m diving deep into one of the most emotionally charged parts of parenting: your child’s friendships.I’ll show you how to read what their social world is really telling you, how to recognise what’s developmentally normal, and how to support them without stepping in too fast or taking over.I will explain the difference between friendship friction and genuine red flags, how to coach your child from the sidelines, and how to make home the safest place for them to talk about their social world. I also unpack the unique challenges neurodiverse children face in friendships and give you clear, practical things you can right now to help.If you’ve ever worried about your child being left out, dropped, overwhelmed, or stuck in friendship drama, this episode will give you clarity, confidence, and a roadmap for what to do next. So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:46 - Friendships are developmental04:45 - The foundations of a healthy friendship11:11 - Things you can do15:05 - Quality over quantity18:39 - Know what is age appropriate22:25 - The three parts of an apology💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Spoiler alert: a tantrum isn’t bad behaviour. It’s a developmental event that happens when your kid’s nervous system is really overwhelmed.When your children have tantrums, it is never a reflection of you or your parenting. It’s a completely normal and age appropriate thing.So in this episode, I’m diving into the world of toddler tantrums - what causes them, what happens in your child’s brain at that moment, and the five things that genuinely help.You’ll learn why reasoning never works during a meltdown, how your calm becomes their co‑regulation, why naming the feeling (not the behaviour) changes everything, and how staying close and reconnecting afterwards builds emotional regulation, resilience, confidence and long‑term self‑belief.If you’ve ever felt stuck, frustrated or unsure how to respond when your toddler explodes, this episode gives you a clear, compassionate roadmap that works.So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:58 - The spiky beaker03:36 - Look through a wide lens09:10 - Co-regulation11:06 - Do not try to reason16:20 - Name the feeling💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

How do you know if your child is confident, or just masking?In today’s episode, I explain the two core skills that create genuine, lifelong confidence, and once you understand these foundations, helping your child become braver, more resilient, and more willing to try new things becomes so much easier.I walk you through the wide‑lens approach I use with families, showing you how confidence grows through lived experience AND I share the five practical strategies I recommend for toddlers, primary‑aged children, and teenagers.If you’ve ever worried about a child who won’t try new things, who crumbles at the first sign of difficulty, or who compares themselves harshly to others, this episode will give you the language and mindset to help them grow real confidence from the inside out.So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:06 - Confidence is not fearless05:28 - Self-effigacy and self-worth09:47 - Confidence is trying anyway13:41 - How to deal with pre-schoolers17:13 - Age and stage appropriate levels21:48 - Watch the labels27:42 - Separate worth from performance32:42 - Hold first, help second💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.