How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

When siblings fight, it can feel endless - the bickering, the shouting, the “that’s not fair,” the constant demand that you step in and decide who’s right.In this episode, I explain why sibling rivalry is normal, why refereeing often makes things worse, and what actually helps children learn to resolve conflict themselves.I am going to walk you through the real developmental reasons siblings clash, the skills they’re missing, and how stepping back (safely) gives them the practice they need to build frustration tolerance, negotiation, perspective‑taking and repair.I will share three things that actually help, and the best part - you can start doing them right now.This episode is a practical, hopeful guide to transforming sibling dynamics and giving your children the lifelong skills they’ll use in every relationship they ever have.So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:18 - Sibling rivalry is a training ground05:48 - 3 things to remember09:37 - Resist, resist, resist12:10 - Neurodiversity17:18 - Unite and conquer21:21 - Give your kids a process💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Let me guess… you spend ages nagging about teeth brushing?You’re constantly running late?Homework is a war?And don’t even mention tidying rooms, am I right?When I sat down to record this episode, I wanted to flip the whole conversation about children’s habits upside down, because none of the above actually shape who your child becomes as an adult.In this episode, I walk you through what the research really shows. I explain why self‑control, distress tolerance, problem‑solving, emotional regulation, persistence and self‑advocacy matter far more than perfect mornings or tidy bedrooms, and why rescuing and over-helping is the worst thing we can do (in this particular instance, at least!)Plus, I share five things you can start doing today to build the habits that matter. These are small shifts with huge long‑term impact, and they will help your child become a capable, resilient adult who can navigate life with confidence.So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:12 - IQ doesn’t tell you this06:25 - Surviving, not thriving10:19 - The habit of trying15:36 - Self-advocacy & neurodivergence21:09 - Resist the rescue26:15 - Embrace the discomfort31:06 - Praise the struggle💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

In this episode, I’m talking about food.Does your toddler refuse pasta because the shape is “wrong”?Or does your teenager come home from school every day with an energy drink and packet of crisps?Don’t worry, you are not alone. The struggle is real and it can feel relentless (pun not intended 😆).But underneath every food battle is the same thing: pressure. It can be their body’s cravings, it can be developmental, it can be social, or (here’s the brutal truth) it might even be us. However, once you understand what’s actually going on in your child’s brain and body, everything changes.So in today’s bucket-emptying episode, I talk you through the five practical things you can do that genuinely change the game between your kids and food. No battles. No bribing. No guilt. Just simple, doable shifts that help your child build a healthy relationship with food over time.And the best part: you can start doing these five things right now.So if food has become a battleground in your home, this episode will help you take back control of the long game.So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:03 - Children have more taste buds than adults03:23 - The Forbidden Fruit Effect07:22 - My 5 top tips💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Has homework become a battle?Has your child stopped trying or caring?In this episode, I’m talking directly to the parents who feel like their child’s motivation has quietly slipped away, because I want to help you understand what’s really going on underneath that perceived lack of effort.Spoiler alert: it’s almost never laziness.I’m going to walk you through why pushing harder doesn’t work, why rewards and consequences lose their power, and what motivation really looks like in a developing brain. Then I’m going to share five practical things you can start doing today to help your child reconnect with learning and learn how to feel proud of themselves again.If you’ve been feeling stuck, frustrated, or worried about your child’s motivation, this episode will help you see the problem differently and give you a clear path forward.So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:58 - The two kinds of motivation06:31 - The three skills in this episode08:26 - Early years and primary school12:56 - Middle childhood and finding a sense of self17:59 - Autism & ADHD23:04 - My top five things27:59 - Autonomy supporting language💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Is your teenager ghosting you?Do they feel more distant and shut off?Are you scared that your relationship with them is fading away?Spoiler alert: we’ve all been there, and I promise you it’s nothing to panic about.When your teenager stops talking to you, it can feel like you’ve lost the child you once knew. The little person who used to climb into your bed and tell you everything is now quiet, distant, and locked behind their bedroom door.So in today’s bucket-emptying episode, I explain what’s actually happening in the teenage brain, why this withdrawal is normal (even healthy), and why the old ways of getting them to open up no longer work.I am going to share five practical things you can start doing today that genuinely help rebuild connection. You’ll learn how to stop overthinking when your teen pulls away, how to ask the right questions, and what to do when your teenager gives you absolutely nothing at all (we’ve all been there!).This episode will help you understand what your teen is going through, and give you the tools to reconnect in a way that works for both of you.So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:00 - An elastic band05:27 - My five top tips08:28 - Stop the Spanish Inquisition12:42 - Listen without agenda15:16 - Do not disturb💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

When a family separates, everything shifts. As parents we want to protect our children, but it can feel overwhelming when we don’t always have the answers.In this episode, I walk you through what the facts tells about children and parental separation, and why long‑term wellbeing is about how we manage conflict, how we communicate, and how we support our children emotionally as they adjust.In today’s episode you will learn what children need at different developmental stages, from toddlers to teenagers, and I give five practical steps you can start using right now. And for parents of neurodiverse children, I also outline the specific things you can do to make transitions between homes feel much easier.This episode is here to help you feel steadier, clearer, and more confident… and to remind you that our children are far more adaptable than we give them credit for, but we have to model what that looks like.So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:00 - Separating is ok!04:11 - Fine lens wide lens07:22 - Different needs at different stages12:48 - Protect your child from the conflict15:34 - Your child is NOT a messenger20:57 - The messages every child needs to hear.26:10 - Neurodiverse children💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

In this episode, I’m talking honestly about something so many parents worry about - a child who “won’t read”, says reading is boring, or hasn’t picked up a book in years.I explain why this isn’t a motivation problem at all, but a skills gap in reading identity, attention, language, and confidence. And once you understand what’s really going on underneath the surface, helping your child become a reader becomes far more straightforward.I walk you through the wide‑lens view of reading: why some children haven’t yet found the right book, why reading has accidentally become a chore, and why the digital world makes sustained attention harder for every child.I also share five practical things you can start today to help your child rediscover a love of reading that lasts for life.So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:00 - The biggest predictor of academic success04:03 - Why reading skills matter08:06 - 5 things that actually help12:06 - Let your kids read whatever they want16:38 - Model reading to your children19:22 - Stop doing these things right now💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

A child melts down at the door, stomach pain, tears, refusal, and you’re standing there with a 9am meeting to get to, unsure whether to push harder or give in.Your child is at a developmental crossroads, but when should does normal age-appropriate behaviour become emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA)? And more importantly, what can you do about it?Not every worry is an anxiety disorder, and when we treat normal discomfort as something it isn’t, we risk teaching children that hard feelings mean something is wrong with them.In this episode, I help you to understand the difference between something totally expected for your child’s developmental stage, versus something that may need some additional support and attention.I am going to share the four functions of avoidance to look out for, and give you some practical things you can do to help your kids right away.So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:56 - 2 truths07:25 - 4 reasons for school avoidance10:48 - 3 levels of distress tolerance16:13 - The core skills you’re building19:01 - Neurodiversity and school avoidance24:39 - Maryhan’s top tips31:46 - You can do these things right now…37:52 - Where to get support💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.comDISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.