How Not to Screw Up Your Kids

Fear of failure is one of the most misunderstood challenges parents face, especially when you’re raising a bright, capable child who refuses to try anything unless success is guaranteed.Today, I break down exactly why children avoid new experiences, quit the moment things get hard, melt down over mistakes, or insist “I can’t do it” before they’ve even begun.I am going to give you 5 practical strategies you can start using today to build resilience, confidence and emotional regulation, without pushing too hard.If your child avoids homework, quits activities, panics about getting things wrong, or compares themselves constantly to others, then I promise this episode will help you.So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:00:55 - A quick reminder02:52 - What’s the worst that can happen?07:46 - Model imperfection11:30 - They are never doing it alone💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

If you’re watching your bright, capable child refuse to try anything unless success is guaranteed, this episode is going to feel like oxygen.I’m breaking down exactly what’s really driving fear of failure in children - the avoidance, the perfectionism, the “I’m not doing it if I’m going to be bad at it” - and I’m giving you five practical things you can do right now to close the resilience gap.You’ll learn how fear of failure forms, how to spot it, and how to help your child build the confidence to try, struggle, persist and grow… even when things don’t go perfectly.If you’ve ever worried that your child’s fear of getting it wrong might hold them back, this episode will show you how to turn it around starting today. So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:24 - Fear of failing is NOT this…05:57 - How to spot a fear of failure11:23 - 3 mistakes you might be making16:05 - 5 things you can do right now18:33 - Normalise failure21:22 - Separate your child from the performance💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

In this episode, I’m tackling one of the most confusing challenges parents face: how to support a highly sensitive child without wrapping them in cotton wool or pushing them too hard. If your child feels everything deeply - the party overwhelm, the criticism that undoes them, the emotional intensity that seems bigger than everyone else’s - then you need this episode.I explain what high sensitivity actually is, how it overlaps with anxiety, ADHD and autism, and why so many parents misinterpret sensitivity as fragility or a sign that something is “wrong”.I walk you through five practical, evidence‑based strategies you can start using today to build your child’s resilience without dismissing who they are.If you’ve ever worried that you’re either protecting your child too much or not protecting them enough, this episode will give you the middle path - one that honours their depth, strengthens their confidence, and helps them grow into the extraordinary person they’re wired to be.So take a seat, pour yourself a cuppa, and enjoy the conversation…Highlights from this episode:01:18 - The biggest mistake you will make05:22 - A flooded nervous system cannot take information08:14 - Manage, don’t avoid10:40 - What adult do you want to raise?13:16 - Be your child’s counter narrative15:19 - Be a role model💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

In this episode, I’m diving into one of the most misunderstood traits I see in children every single week: high sensitivity.If your child feels everything deeply - the loud places, the scratchy clothes, the emotional intensity of a birthday party they actually enjoyed - you may have wondered whether it’s anxiety, ADHD, autism, or something you’ve somehow caused. So let’s clear it up.I explain the difference between high sensitivity, anxiety, and neurodivergence, why they overlap, and how to tell what you’re really looking at.You’ll learn the five patterns that reliably show up in highly sensitive children, why their nervous system processes the world more deeply, and how this trait can be a profound strength when it’s understood rather than pathologised.Most importantly, I will give you five practical tools you can start using today.If you’ve ever been told your child is “too sensitive”, or you’ve quietly wondered whether something is wrong, this episode will help you see what’s actually happening, and what your child truly needs.Highlights from this episode:01:21 - Can labels be limiting?03:13 - Highly sensitive is not a diagnosis06:26 - 5 signs of high sensitivity13:41 - Sensitivity versus neurodivergence19:36 - What you can do right now26:07 - Sensitivity is a superpower💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

In this episode, I will walk you through the real first week of the school holidays - the meltdowns, the boredom, the clinginess, the explosions over nothing - and why this week is always the hardest for anxious children.I explain exactly what’s happening in your child’s nervous system when the school‑day scaffolding disappears, why their bucket fills before lunchtime, and the three practical tools you can use immediately to stabilise the week.So if you’re standing in your kitchen wondering how you’re going to survive six weeks, this episode gives you what you need to get through the first seven days without losing yourself!Highlights from this episode:01:11 - When the scaffolding comes down03:00 - What is the bucket?05:09 - Name the state, not the behaviour08:50 - Predictable moments11:01 - Lower your expectations14:33 - Holiday rhythm card💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Summer holidays are tough for parents, but it can be a hidden superpower! In this episode, I explain exactly why anxious children struggle the moment school ends, why the holidays bring out their anxiety, and the five practical tools that genuinely help.I walk you through the real reason behind the meltdowns, the boredom‑to‑explosion cycle, the clinginess, and the screen‑time battles. You’ll learn how predictability, scaffolding, social structure and nervous‑system load change dramatically once term ends - and why this shift hits anxious children harder than anyone expects.I also break down the three groups of children who improve in the holidays:separation‑anxious childrenschool‑specific anxious children, andchildren who monitor family safety.By the end of this episode, you’ll have a clear, compassionate framework for understanding your child’s behaviour, plus five actionable tools you can start right now.Highlights from this episode:01:22 - Anxiety is information04:45 - How to spot anxiety09:23 - Social comparison12:19 - The trigger has left the building16:54 - Contrast is the signal20:57 - Where does overwhelm come from?23:18 - 5 tools to use now💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset  DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

In today’s bucket‑emptying episode, I’m giving you the exact words to use in one of the hardest parenting moments: when your child looks at you and says “I’m not good enough.”If you’ve ever watched your child crumble after a mistake, a test, a football practice, or a moment that didn’t go their way, and your reassurance only made things worse, you need this episode.I walk you through three specific tools that work with an overwhelmed nervous system, not against it.You’ll learn why reassurance backfires, what’s actually happening inside your child’s emotional bucket, and how to respond in a way that builds resilience, emotional regulation, and self‑worth.If your child struggles with perfectionism, anxiety, low confidence, big feelings, or shutdowns, this episode is your secret weapon.Highlights from this episode:02:12 - This is what your child really means04:31 - Do this before anything else07:16 - Permanence is terrifying09:24 - Empty the bucket11:48 - My give to you💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚 For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚 For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com ☀️ NEW — The Summer Reset. My seven-week summer programme for parents of anxious children (5–16) — whatever sets the worry off: five live group coaching calls + two private 1:1 sessions with me + every tool, all summer. 18 families only, starts 23 July. Details & enrolment: https://stan.store/drmaryhan/p/the-summer-reset DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

If you’re a woman in your 40s or 50s who feels like everything has suddenly become harder - the brain fog, the overwhelm, the burnout, the emotional crashes, the sense that you’re “failing” at things you used to manage - this episode may explain more than you realise.I’m joined again by Jessie Hewitson to talk about a phenomenon we’re seeing everywhere: women in peri‑ and post‑menopause receiving an ADHD or autism diagnosis for the very first time.Jessie shares her own story, how supporting her neurodivergent son led her to recognise lifelong patterns in herself, and how the hormonal shifts of perimenopause made previously manageable struggles suddenly impossible to ignore. We talk about why so many women were missed as children, how inattentive ADHD presents completely differently in girls and women, why masking works until it doesn’t, and how executive function collapses under hormonal change.We also dive into rejection sensitivity dysphoria, people‑pleasing, burnout, the “good girl” conditioning so many women carry, and why the perfect storm of midlife - teenagers, aging parents, senior roles, and hormonal upheaval - pushes long‑standing neurodivergence to the surface.If you’ve ever wondered why you’re suddenly overwhelmed by tasks you used to juggle, why anxiety has spiked, why your coping strategies have stopped working, or why menopause feels like more than menopause, this conversation will give you clarity, and help you understand what might really be going on.Highlights from this episode:01:44 - Neurotypical strategies don’t work!04:43 - Inattentive versus hyperactive10:25 - Executive function16:43 - ADHD and burnout19:25 - Rejection sensitivity25:17 - Anxiety of falling short28:59 - The shame of ADHD32:51 - Task initiation💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

If your daughter is “fine at school” but falling apart at home - the meltdowns, the morning battles, the homework explosions, the constant need for you to narrate every step - this episode may be the missing piece you’ve been searching for. Because none of this is about attitude, defiance or bad parenting. It may be ADHD, and in girls it looks nothing like the stereotype.In this episode, I walk you through three signs of ADHD in girls that are missed for years sometimes decades. You’ll learn why your daughter’s bucket fills faster than anyone realises, why she can hold it together all day only to unravel the moment she feels safe, why she can’t sequence tasks her peers manage easily, and why her emotional reactions seem so out of proportion to the trigger.I’ll show you how masking works, why teachers often see a completely different child, and why girls are diagnosed three to four years later than boys… if they’re diagnosed at all.And most importantly, I’ll give you the language and the framework to recognise these signs in your daughter and know exactly what to do next.If you’ve been quietly wondering whether something deeper is going on, if anxiety treatment hasn’t shifted the core problem, if the worry keeps coming back, if the restlessness never quite makes sense, this episode will help you see your daughter clearly, compassionately, and accurately.You know your child. If something has felt “off” for a long time, trust that. And let this episode be your starting point.Highlights from this episode:02:14 - The stuff nobody else sees04:48 - This is why your daughter is not diagnosed07:11 - Executive dysfunction10:07 - It’s not bad behaviour12:09 - Why do girls get missed?14:20 - Treatment is more than medication💚 Please share with at least one friend, and let’s build our village together💚  For all previous episodes, and to submit episode topics you want me to talk about, visit https://drmaryhan.com/podcast/ 💚  For the free resource library, visit https://drmaryhan.com/library 💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025💚 Brands and advertisers, email contact@drmaryhan.com DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.