Share

cover art for James H. Longmore - I am Joe's Unwanted Penis

House of Mystery Radio on NBC

James H. Longmore - I am Joe's Unwanted Penis

A darkly comedic tribute to the much-loved Reader’s Digest series ‘I am Joe’s…(insert body part here)’ and a bizarre parody of the Bruce Jenner story, I Am Joe’s Unwanted Penis is told from the point of view of a penis thoughtlessly discarded as a man is surgically transformed into a woman. Upon learning of his high-profile previous owner’s regret at having made the transformation, the penis embarks upon a perilous journey for them to be reunited - aided and abetted by a motley, wonderfully personable, and engaging selection of other discarded body parts. In parts grotesque, laugh-out-loud funny, and undeniably poignant, in others, I Am Joe’s Unwanted Penis is a buddy story absolutely like no other!

I have three novels out in 2016; the skin-crawling, creature horror; ‘‘Pede’ (published by Black Bed Sheet Books), ‘The Erotic Odyssey of Colton Forshay’ (a bizarro style fantasy, Fat Lip Press June 21, 2016), ‘And Then You Die’ – a particularly grotesque horror/bizarro story (published by J Ellington Ashton - TBA), and in 2017, ‘Flanagan’ - a psychosexual horror (Sinister Grin Press).

In addition, there are the short stories; (‘Winning & Losing’) published in The Ripple Effect (Horrified Press), ‘Road Trip Bingo’ (Black Bed Sheet Books’ anthology 'Bumps in the Road’), ‘The Five Towns Pageant’ (J Ellington Ashton ‘Full Moon Slaughter’, Halloween 2016), ‘Zombie Hooker: A Love Story (Fat Lip Press ‘Carnival of Gore’ anthology 2016) and ‘Trophy Wife’ (The Creeps magazine, date TBA).

I write screenplays and currently have three under option (a spine-chilling horror, a Tarantino-esque crime caper and an animated family movie). In 2014 I was commissioned by Spectra Records to write a biopic feature on the early life of Bob Marley and was a writer for hire on the Kenyan sitcom ‘The Samaritans.

As if that weren’t enough, I have written and directed a bunch of short movies, winning Best Director in the 2013 Splatterfest film competition and Remi awards at Houston’s Worldfest Film Festival in 2012, 2014 and 2015.

More episodes

View all episodes

  • Richard R. Becker Jr. - Third Wheel

    00:18
    Set in 1982, Third Wheel is the story of a boy who relocates from the Midwest to Las Vegas. Outcast as a newcomer, Brady forges a bond with an older teenage neighbor, Mick. But when Mick invites an ambitious street-level drug dealer into their group, Brady learns that their choices could have dangerous consequences and threaten the lives of those he cares about.Emotionally driven and raw, Third Wheel is a literary thriller that follows a root-worthy underdog, Brady Wilks, as he brushes up against misguided teens, a Mexican drug cartel, and the Mob. With nowhere to turn and troubles at home, Brady finds his only comfort in an impossible romance until it becomes another vulnerability for others to exploit.The winner of six literary awards — including a Literary Titan Gold Book Award, Silver BookFest Award, and American Best BookFest Finalist Award — Richard R. Becker's debut novel is as suspenseful as it is unapologetic. This teenage crime story with heart hits home with older young adults, new adults, and anyone who remembers the 1980s.
  • Thomas Maier - Mafia Spies

    27:44
    From Vegas to Miami to Havana, the shocking connections between the CIA, the mob, and Sinatra’s Rat Pack—with new revelations and details. Mafia Spies is the definitive account of America’s most remarkable espionage plots ever—with CIA agents, mob hitmen, “kompromat” sex, presidential indiscretion, and James Bond-like killing devices together in a top-secret mystery full of surprise twists and deadly intrigue.In the early 1960s, two top gangsters, Johnny Roselli and Sam Giancana, were hired by the CIA to kill Cuba’s Communist leader, Fidel Castro, only to wind up murdered themselves amidst Congressional hearings and a national debate about the JFK assassination.Now for the first time in paperback, Mafia Spies revolves around the outlaw friendship of these two mob buddies and their fascinating world of CIA spies, fellow Mafioso in Chicago, Cuban exile commandos in Miami, beautiful Hollywood women, famous entertainers like Frank Sinatra’s Rat Pack in Las Vegas, Castro’s own spies in Havana and his double agents hidden in Florida, J. Edgar Hoover’s FBI snooping, and the Kennedy administration’s “Get Castro” obsession in Washington.Thomas Maier is among the first to take full advantage of the National Archives’ 2017–18 release of the long-suppressed JFK files, many of which deal with the CIA’s top secret anti-Castro operation in Florida and Cuba. With several new investigative findings, Mafia Spies is a spy exposé, murder mystery, and shocking true story that recounts America’s first foray into the assassination business, a tale with profound impact for today’s Trump era. Who killed Johnny and Sam—and why wasn’t Castro assassinated despite the CIA’s many clandestine efforts?
  • Kathleen Donnelly - Killer Secrets (National Forest K-9 Book 3)

    32:08
    A small town’s deadly past is exposed in the newest installment of the suspenseful National Forest K-9 series by Kathleen Donnelly.Until an avalanche ripped down a mountainside, exposing a serial killer’s dumping grounds, Antler Valley, Colorado, was a quiet town. Now Forest Service officer Maya Thompson and her beautiful K-9, Juniper, must catch the murderer before they become the next targets.With the neighboring town’s new overconfident sheriff deterring the entire investigation, a murderer on the loose and heartthrob deputy Josh Colton racing through her mind, Maya is at a crossroads. Josh is ready to go all in, but Maya has one foot out the door. As she lets her guard down, she needs to accept that she’s falling deeply in love with him, no matter how risky it may be. When evidence from the Antler Valley victims links the murders to deaths in other ski towns, secrets long buried are unearthed. Maya and Juniper must run toward an answer, though finding it might lead them directly into a fatal trap…
  • Mark Pawlosky - Black Bird

    27:35
    The pandemic has receded and life in the United States has returned to normal—or that’s what the government insists. So what is causing residents in a remote religious compound in Idaho to drop dead in a grisly fashion? And why are prominent virologists meeting with untimely ends?Something—or someone—is killing the religious followers and scientists,and Newshound reporter Nik Byron is determined to find out what’s behind the deaths. Could Xion Labs’ top-secret vaccine program be connected? Nik suspects so, but he’s being stonewalled at every turn. As he inches closer to the truth, Nik’s professional enemies move to quash his investigation, threaten his career, and destroy his personal life. With his world crumbling, Nik finds one last lead: Puck Hall, a resolute, free-spirited young woman and Xion Labs researcher, who is soloing the Appalachian Trail. It’s only when Puck, barely clinging to life after eluding trained killers, crawls out of the wilderness that Nik and a rookie reporter cobble together the nightmarish facts that bring the story into focus.Populated with old-school journalists, double-crossing politicians, black-ops assassins, and government secrets, Black Bird follows Nik Byron on a thrilling investigative journey along the Appalachian Trail, deep into the northern Rocky Mountains, over the Pacific Ocean, and eventually right to the doorstep of the White House.
  • Bruce Robert Coffin & LynnDee Walker - Genreral's Gold

    27:32
    A treasure so priceless, it's worth killing for…When Mark Hawkins is found dead in a seedy motel, police deem it an accidental overdose. But billionaire computer genius Avery Turner suspects there might be more to the story. Her old friend was on the trail of the legendary General's Gold, and now Avery is determined to pick up where he left off...Teaming up with Carter Mosley, a deep-sea shipwreck diver and adrenaline junkie turned social media sensation, Avery embarks on a dangerous quest for the treasure—and the truth. From Florida to Maine, and from the mountains of Virginia to the depths of the Atlantic Ocean, they face treacherous gangs, man-eating sharks, and a world of deception and double-crosses.As they navigate hidden clues and uncertain allies, Avery and Carter must outwit their deadly adversaries and unravel the mystery surrounding the General's Gold. But in this high-stakes game, losing the treasure could cost them their lives.
  • Arthur Kane - The Last Story

    26:08
    THE LAST STORY: The Murder of an Investigative Journalist in Las Vegas is an exclusive deep dive into a chilling true tale of sex, ambition, retribution, and homicide.Jeff German, a veteran Las Vegas Review-Journal investigative reporter, was no stranger to controversy or the danger of his work. For more than four decades, he wrote stories relentlessly confronting the mob, corrupt politicians, and greedy bureaucrats. As a result, he was often threatened—enough that he and his friend and fellow investigative reporter, Arthur Kane, sometimes joked about reporting on these threats if they were ever acted upon.Then, in the spring of 2022, German received a tip about abuses at a little-known county office. His subsequent investigation unearthed a scandalous, sexually incriminating video of a rising politician. The resulting stories in the Review-Journal ended the man’s political aspirations.Less than six months later, on September 3, German’s lifeless body was discovered outside his home with multiple stab wounds. His dedicated newsroom colleagues, including Kane, vowed to find the killer. In doing so, they exposed the true depths of corruption and malice in Sin City.Meanwhile, the police struggled to identify a suspect until they released a photo of the suspect's vehicle to the media. That tip led them to none other than the small-time politician, who was subsequently arrested and now faces life in prison, pending the outcome of his trial in August 2024.In THE LAST STORY, Kane delivers an intense narrative of courage, betrayal, and the unrelenting quest for justice.
  • Steve Anderson - Lines of Deception

    39:39
    A West German nightclub owner goes behind the Iron Curtain on a desperate mission to save his brother, in this Cold War thriller by the author of Lost Kin.West Germany, 1949. Former actor Max Kaspar suffered greatly in the Second World War. Now he owns a nightclub in Munich—and occasionally lends a hand to the newly formed CIA. Meanwhile, his brother Harry has ventured beyond the Iron Curtain to rescue an American scientist. When Harry is also taken captive, Max resolves to locate his brother at all costs. The last thing he expects is for Harry to go rogue.Max’s treacherous quest takes him to Vienna and Prague to Soviet East Germany and Communist Poland. Along the way, dangerous operators from Harry’s past join the pursuit: his former lover Katarina, who’s working for the Israelis, and former Nazi Hartmut Dietz, now an agent of East German intelligence. But can anyone be trusted? Even the American scientist Stanley Samaras may not be the hero Harry had believed him to be . . .“In this convincing and atmospheric spy tale set on the haunted landscape of postwar Europe, the engaging Max Kaspar leads us into deepening shadows in which the certainties of loyalty and morality grow dimmer at every turn. An intriguing and satisfying read.” —Dan Fesperman, author of Winter Work“Steve Anderson brings the past to life . . . As close as you’ll get to a historical guide to the vagaries and treacheries and to the hidden byways and ratlines of post-war Europe.” —Luke McCallin, author of the Gregor Reinhardt novels
  • Bobby Mathews - Magic City Blues

    42:13
    When low-level legbreaker Kincaid takes on a new assignment, he discovers it’s not really a step up — it’s a setup. The deal was supposed to be this: Protect Abby Doyle, the daughter of Birmingham, Alabama’s most dangerous crime lord. But when Abby’s fiancé is found murdered, Kincaid is forced to team up with BPD detective Laura D’Agostino to find the killer and protect Abby at all costs … even from her own father.The killer’s trail winds through Birmingham — the city streets, the back alleys, the world-class food scene and the hole-in-the-wall clubs and bars — and the white-flight suburbs that surround the city, as Kincaid and D’Agostino uncover secrets that everyone would prefer left alone. But Kincaid doesn’t care about secrets. He’s been hired to do a job, and he’ll see it through or die trying.Thrown together by circumstance, Kincaid and D’Agostino explore their unexpected feelings for one another while chasing down the killer and untangling a land swindle in North Birmingham that’s been in the making for more than a decade. But their relationship may not survive the explosive ending that sees Kincaid stand alone against the toughest crime lord the city has ever known.
  • Marjorie McCown - Star Struck (A Hollywood Mystery Book 2)

    41:10
    Perfect for fans of Elle Cosimano and Kellye Garrett, in this second Hollywood mystery, film costumer Joey Jessop discovers that Hollywood buries its secrets deep when a superstar’s assistant turns up dead.Costumer Joey Jessop is working on a movie set in 1930s Hollywood and starring two of the world’s biggest stars. The male lead is also a dedicated social activist, and the female lead, Gillian Best, is known for her lifestyle brand. After a hit-and-run near the set, Joey realizes that the car involved belongs to Gillian, and she begins to wonder if the actress has more to hide than her Botox appointments.Her suspicions deepen when Gillian’s personal assistant, Rita, vows to get revenge for Gillian replacing her and is found dead shortly after. Gillian quickly labels Rita’s death a suicide, and the police seem to agree–but Joey isn’t so sure.With the police standing aside, it’s up to Joey to dig up the truth—but Hollywood stars know how to keep their secrets close, and a woman like Gillian Best won’t take kindly to someone sniffing around her affairs. Joey is certain that Gillian has something to hide–and she’s determined to find out what.

Comments