Hometown Gory

Rosa and Lauren glide effortlessly past the Palace debacle to talk about the only thing that matters: Pep’s latest defeat to his bogey team. We wanted commitment, and we got it, no matter the cost (RIP Micky’s hamstrings). Deki, Sarr, Biss, wee Archie, TIMO WERNER: kings, every last one. We look ahead to another round against wily old Emery, and a must-win for the women against West Ham. Plus! Lauren went to Mexico and we’re all dying of jealousy. 

Be gentle with us, we’re recovering from being POISONED by a SNAKE in a Manchester United shirt. Lauren and Rosa sift through the debris of a bad day up north, and try not to get too scared by the upcoming trip to Chelsea. Elsewhere, we are pleased for Djed Spence but still mad at the rest of them, so it would be great if they could redeem themselves against West Ham. Plus! We applaud the creativity and of both Ms Lauren Hill and Brigadiers restaurant. Consistent professionalism? Could never be our club. 

Who could have foreseen? Tottenham followed up a glorious statement win with a piece of absolute, abject nonsense right before an international break. Spurs women also lost - by an identical scoreline - but they had the excuse of terrible refereeing AND they’re not making us stew over it for a full two weeks. Lauren and Rosa discuss subs, snakes, and surprise Freed From Desire attacks on holiday. Just let us live in peace! 

There are few things in footballing life as delicious as watching United implode, and that is watching them implode because of your team’s exquisite, untouchable football. Angeball is back and better than ever, and we’re cherishing every second in an absurdly overlong pod. Elsewhere, the women were severely rattled but got out of Villa Park alive thanks to our captain saving the day once again. We preview so so much football, and bring you our culture picks. 

Not one but TWO Spurs victories to luxuriate in this week. Well, technically three, but we’ll draw a veil over that Coventry performance. Madders is back! Solanke has arrived! Maite Oroz is tiny (but awesome)! We’re all very, very happy. Long may it continue (please). 

We lost to them (again) and it was ghastly (again). We get in our feelings about it and then put those feelings in a bin and move on. We don’t have time for it, we’ve got a new WSL season to preview and a VERY sexy deadline day signing to discuss. Plus: food, music, telly, Seattle: it’s our culture picks. 

Welcome to the Hometown Glory 5 a side draft! Billie, Lauren, Nick and Rosa pick their dream teams from the rogues’ gallery that is 1992-onwards era Spurs. Who got the most coveted midfielder? Who picked a VERY triggering goalkeeper? Where does everyone rank our elite defenders? All this plus a Spurs Women update, culture picks, and an emotional check in before the NLD. 

This episode’s agenda includes but is not limited to: defensive lapses (again), porous midfields (again), toothless attacks (again), Sam spending all his time and money on a club that simply does not deserve him (again), and for the first time ever, a Spurs Women SNAKE. We are rattled, but we go again.