Hollywood Phonies

This week we're joined by GUY MONTGOMERY, a man with incredibly intimate knowledge of the film SEX AND THE CITY 2 which is where we spotted HEART OF THE DESERT. We spend way too long talking about Sex and the City 2 before remembering that we have to work out an entire plot based on a poster that shows a ripped soldier in the desert, holding a young boy in camouflage. Who's the boy? Why does the poster look so cheap? And which is the better tourist destination: Abu Dhabi or New Zealand? Pour yourself a glass of wine, tune in, and find out! Follow us on Twitter and Instagram at @PhoniesPodcast and send us your hot tips for fake movies from real movies!

Fresh from our press junket with Horse and Hound magazine, this week we're tackling HELIX from the classic rom com NOTTING HILL! Other than the fact that it's set in space and that it features a psychotic flesh-eating robot, we know basically nothing about Anna Scott's latest movie, so get ready for us to charmingly fumble our way through the plot of this sci-fi blockbuster, Hugh Grant style. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram at @PhoniesPodcast and send us your hot tips for fake movies from real movies!

We’re hitting the track this week with special guest BECKY LUCAS, to break down the Seth Rogen vehicle ‘HOLD YOUR HORSES: RIDING HIGH IN THE SADDLE’ - a sequel to a film which ALSO doesn’t exist. We try to work out where things have been left in the previous film and then we get to work plotting out an epic screenplay involving a magical horse, a glue factory owner, a big climactic horse race and of course: plenty of weed smoking.Follow us on Twitter and Instagram at @PhoniesPodcast and send us your hot tips for fake movies from real movies!

We’re going arthouse this week, with a very special guest: GARETH REYNOLDS from The Dollop! ROCHELLE, ROCHELLE appears frequently throughout the course of SEINFELD - a titilating piece of cinema and critical darling which eventually receives the honour of a Broadway musical adaption starring Bette Midler. We all know that it’s about a young girl’s strange erotic journey from Milan to Minsk, but have you ever stopped to think about just how long the journey from Milan to Minsk is? Huh? Have you ever bothered even putting those two destinations into Google Maps and seeing how long that would take? Well we have, and we’re going to tell you exactly what Rochelle gets up to on her travels, in vivid detail. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram at @PhoniesPodcast and send us your hot tips for fake movies from real movies!

We’re back for SEASON TWO of Hollywood Phonies, kicking off with the heartiest fake movie concept we’ve ever taken on: CHUBBY RAIN from BOWFINGER. Not just a fake movie in the background of one scene, a fake movie which has an ENTIRE real movie based around it. We see heaps of scenes from Chubby Rain in Bowfinger but there’s still a lot of unanswered questions about this sci-fi thriller about aliens who come to earth in rain drops. We'll be deep diving into the plutonium industry, the CIA colluding with alien life-forms and of course, Heather Graham's characters racy rewrites of the script. Gotcha, suckers! Follow us on Twitter and Instagram at @PhoniesPodcast and send us your hot tips for fake movies from real movies!

For our SEASON ONE FINALE, we've set ourselves the mammoth challenge of figuring out the plot to 'See You Next Wednesday', an infamous fake film that appears across the entire canon of film-maker John Landis. With barely any consistency in it's genre and time period, it's little wonder that we filled up an SD card attempting to break down the plot which involves a giant ape who doesn't infringe on any copyright, the wild west, and of course the most nefarious villain in cinema history: Hump Day. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram at @PhoniesPodcast and send us your hot tips for fake movies from real movies!

We thought we'd be riffing out the plot of Robin Williams starring in Jack and the Beanstalk this week, until about half an hour before recording when we squinted at the screenshot of this poster and realised that it's actually a film called 'Jack and The Behnstacks'. But we're not going to let that stop us from creating the best sequel to one of the most tedious films of all time! Francis Ford Coppola hops back in the directors chair for an ultra violent story about circus freaks, sibling rivalry, crime fighting and most importantly: stand-up comedy. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram at @PhoniesPodcast and send us your hot tips for fake movies from real movies!

The star-studded Netflix comedy 'Don't Look Up' rubbed a lot of people the wrong way but will the fictional film-within-a-film 'Total Devastation' have the same effect? Not if we have anything to do with it! We're going to try our darnedest to make the most apolitical film in cinema history this week, and along the way we're going to argue about the layout of the globe, throw some shade at the scientific community, and debate which Disney character would be the most suitable to be played by an ex-boxer. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram at @PhoniesPodcast and send us your hot tips for fake movies from real movies!