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Grief is a Sneaky Bitch
Christina Bain | Bearing The Wait
In Bearing The Wait, my guest Christina Bain and I sat down together (physically distanced of course), to hold this beautifully intimate and special conversation about the grief that comes about when you face your own mortality. Christina was so honest and vulnerable as she opened up about the journey she’s been on over the past 5 years. She is 36, married to Wes, her husband of 12 years, and she has an 8-year-old girl named Marlowe. She also has Stage 4 Colon Cancer. She is wise and kind, she offers insights and humor, and she expands our understanding of grief. She is such a gift in my life and I’m so grateful to have this chance to introduce her to you too. As mentioned in the show, you can read What to Make When You're Dying, the beautifully insightful article she published earlier this year. You can also follow her cancer journey on Christina’s blog at Bearing the Wait
About the show
If you love deep, honest, authentic conversations, get ready to love Grief is a Sneaky Bitch. Host Lisa Keefauver, is a grief and empathy activist who holds an extensive grief resume herself, as a social worker, narrative therapist, grief guide, and widow. From CEOs and social workers to best-selling authors, educators, filmmakers, and stay-at-home moms, her guests open up about the complexity, confusion, and even confidence they have gained by navigating a grief journey of their own. To learn more about the show and how Lisa Keefauver is reimagining grief, sign up for her not-so-regular newsletter, follow on Instagram and Twitter or visit www.lisakeefauver.com today!
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Anne Gudger | The Fifth Chamber
01:07:19||Season 6Anne Gudger is the author of the beautiful memoir, The Fifth Chamber, which Kirkus Review called “An emotionally riveting memoir, raw and inspiring.” In this conversation, Annie Gudger shares her journey of navigating love and grief after the accidental death of her husband when she was just 6 months pregnant with their son. As she shared in her extraordinary memoir, Anne explores the complexities of entering a new relationship as a young widow and mother while dealing with profound. Together we explore themes around shock, the nature of helpful (and not helpful) grief support, along with the coping mechanisms she developed. Annie emphasizes the importance of curiosity and meaningful conversations in processing grief and highlights the therapeutic value of writing as a tool for healing. MORE ABOUT GUEST Anne Gudger's work has been published in places like Newsweek, Real Simple Magazine, Columbia Journal, The Los Angeles Review, and more. She has been a Best of the Net Nominee twice and has won a handful of essay contests. In March 2020, with her beloved daughter, she co-founded Coffee and Grief: a community that includes a monthly reading series focused on grief and their podcast called Coffee, Grief, and Gratitude. Anne’s big purpose is to normalize grief, to give grief a microphone. You can learn more about Anne Gudger, her incredible memoir, The Fifth Champer, and her other grief platforms by visiting www.annegudger.com or follow her on socials at @annegudger. Key Moments00:00 Introduction to Grief and Early Loss06:00 Lessons from Early Grief Experiences09:01 Celebrating Kent: A Life Full of Adventure11:58 Navigating Accidental Loss and Early Grief15:07 The Role of Support Systems in Grief18:01 Specific Ways to Offer Support21:04 The Impact of Grief on Daily Life28:55 The Importance of Grief Support30:01 Navigating the Before and After of Grief34:25 The Challenge of Dating After Loss41:53 Remaking Identity Through Grief44:47 Finding New Love Amidst GriefABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, cancer survivor, and grief activist, author, and keynote speaker on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time. Learn more at www.lisakeefauver.com.Follow @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram.Listen to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.Read Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores and on your favorite online booksellers, including Bookshop.Org. Also available as an audiobook.Watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less hereLitsa Williams | What's Your Grief?
01:11:18||Season 6I’m thrilled to bring you a conversation with the warm and one of the truly wisest people I know on the subject of grief and loss, Litsa Williams. She is the co-founder of the online grief organization, What’s Your Grief - - - which is also the title of the incredible book she co-authored. She is a grief therapist with over 15 years of experience working with sudden, traumatic, and disenfranchised losses as well as ambiguous grief. Litsa holds a Masters in Social work and one in Philosophy too. Both of those perspectives show up in this conversation. This episode is expansive as we explore the loss of her father and the subsequent challenges her family faced, including her sister's struggle with addiction. Litsa emphasizes the importance of understanding our grief beliefs and the stigma surrounding addiction, while also highlighting the need for accessible resources for those navigating grief. Whether you or someone you love is experiencing a disenfranchised grief related to addiction, ambiguous losses, traumatic loss or more, I promise you are going to learn so much from this conversation.MORE ABOUT THE GUESTShe is the co-founder of the online grief organization What’s Your Grief. She’s a grief therapist with over 15 years of experience working with sudden, traumatic, and disenfranchised losses as well as ambiguous grief. Drawing on personal and professional experience with grief, WYG was built as a resource offering concrete, accessible, and relatable support, founded on the values of psychoeducation and creative coping. Litsa received her master’s degree in clinical social work from the University of Maryland School of Social Work, as well as a master’s degree in Philosophy from the University of Warwick (UK). She co-authored the 2022 book What’s Your Grief: Lists to Help You Through Any Loss. Learn more here: https://whatsyourgrief.com; https://instagram.com/whatsyourgrief; https://facebook.com/whatsyourgrief ABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, and grief activist on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time. Learn more at www.lisakeefauver.com.Follow @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram.Listen to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.Read Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores and on your favorite online booksellers, including Bookshop.Org. Also available as an audiobook.Watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less hereSusan Lieu | The Manicurist's Daughter
01:10:40||Season 6Susan Lieu is a multi-hyphenate storyteller, activist, and author helping people live the stories they’ve always wanted. Her award-winning solo show 140 LBS: How Beauty Killed My Mother evolved into her debut and truly extraordinary memoir, The Manicurist’s Daughter. In this episode we explore the complexities of grief beliefs shaped by family dynamics, the silence surrounding loss, and the impact of cultural context on mourning. Susan reflects on her mother's legacy, the circumstances of her death, and the cascading losses that followed, including shifts in family structure and identity. The conversation highlights the importance of being seen and heard in the grieving process and the role of art in healing. Susan shares her profound journey of grief, justice, and self-discovery following the death of her mother. She discusses the complexities of carrying grief, the quest for accountability, and the transformative power of performance art in processing her experiences. Through her exploration of family dynamics, she uncovers the shared pain and resilience within her family, ultimately leading to a deeper understanding of love, compassion, and the importance of living with intention. ABOUT THE GUESTVietnamese-American author, playwright, and performer Susan Lieu is the creator of her theatrical solo show "140 LBS: How Beauty Killed My Mother," which received critical acclaim from LA Times, NPR, and American Theatre. Her debut memoir, The Manicurist’s Daughter (Celadon), is an Apple Book Pick of the Month and Must Listen of the Month, and has received accolades from The New York Times, NPR Books, Elle Magazine, and The Washington Post. The cofounder of Socola Chocolatier, she is a proud alumnae of Harvard, Yale, and Hedgebrook.You can follow: @susanlieu @celadonbooks facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susanlieuofficial TikTok: @susanlieuofficial LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/susanlieu/ https://www.susanlieu.me/over-140-lbs ABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, cancer survivor and grief activist on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time. LEARN more at www.lisakeefauver.com.FOLLOW @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram.SUBSCRIBE to AFGO with Lisa Keefauver on Substack at lisakeefauver.substack.comLISTEN to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.READ Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores and on your favorite online booksellers, including Bookshop.Org. Also available as an audiobook.WATCH her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less here or the video versions of this podcast hereSusan Grau | Infinite Life, Infinite Lessons
01:11:38||Season 6In this episode we discuss internationally celebrated celebrity intuitive medium Susan Grau’s new remarkable book, Infinite Life, Infinite Lessons. It is a deep dive into the soul's journey, offering insights into healing from grief and the afterlife. Susan shares her early memories of trauma and loss and the profound impact of her near-death experience. Our conversation delves into the definitions of spirit and soul, and how these concepts relate to our understanding of life and death. Susan explains what she’s experienced and learned about the spiritual connections that persist beyond death, the role of angels and guides, and the importance of being present in our lives. Susan offers practical advice for connecting with loved ones who have passed. Please note: This episode does include discussions of childhood abuse and near-death experiences. Please take care and use your judgement on what’s best for you. ABOUT THE GUEST Susan Grau is an internationally celebrated celebrity intuitive medium, author, soul healer, and speaker. In addition to working as a professional medium and life path intuitive, Susan’s diverse range of certifications include: Reiki Master, Sai Maa Diksha Practitioner, Karuna Practitioner, and Certified CADC II - Addiction Specialist. Additionally, she is a licensed hypnotherapist specializing in past life regression, a respected professional teacher of the metaphysical arts and an honorary member of the Healing Touch Professional Association (HTPA). Susan specializes in grief therapy, guiding people to healing and recovery. Susan has just released her new book Infinite Life, Infinite Lessons (July 16, 2024) by Hay House. It is a deep dive into the soul's journey, offering insights into healing from grief and the afterlife and is now available to order on her website and a variety of retailers in the US. ABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, cancer survivor and grief activist on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time. LEARN more at www.lisakeefauver.com.FOLLOW @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram.SUBSCRIBE to AFGO with Lisa Keefauver on Substack at lisakeefauver.substack.comLISTEN to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.READ Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores and on your favorite online booksellers, including Bookshop.Org. Also available as an audiobook.WATCH her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less here or the video versions of this podcast hereAllison Gilbert | The Joy of Connections
01:09:09||Season 6Emmy Award-Winning journalist and author, Allison Gilbert, joined host Lisa Keefauver for an important conversation on the intersections of grief, joy, and loneliness. They dive deep into the lessons from Allison's latest book, 'The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life.' co-authored with the late Dr. Ruth Westheimer. They explore early experiences of grief, the importance of peer support, and the tough love lessons from her co-author, Dr. Ruth Westheimer. The conversation delves into defining joy, the structure of their book, and the significance of communicating needs in relationships. They also address the challenges faced by caregivers and the importance of maintaining connections amidst caregiving responsibilities. ABOUT THE GUEST Allison Gilbert is an Emmy Award-winning journalist and one of the most influential writers and speakers on how to find the inner resources to overcome life’s biggest challenges. Through research and lived experience, Allison helps audiences transform grief and loss, manage caregiving and chronic illness, and find connection amid the growing public health crisis of social isolation and loneliness. She is co-author of Dr. Ruth Westheimer’s final book, The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life. The book stems from the article Allison wrote for The New York Times, “Dr. Ruth Saved People’s Sex Lives. Now she wants to Cure Loneliness,” about Dr. Ruth’s appointment as New York State’s Ambassador to Loneliness, the first such position in the United States. Allison is also the author of Passed and Present, Always Too Soon, and Parentless Parents. You can follow her on IG at @agilbertwriter. ABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, cancer survivor and grief activist on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time. LEARN more at www.lisakeefauver.com.FOLLOW @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram.LISTEN to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.READ Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores and on your favorite online booksellers, including Bookshop.Org. Also available as an audiobook.WATCH her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less here or the video versions of this podcast hereKathleen Blackburn | Loose of Earth
01:15:25||Season 6Kathleen Blackburn was the oldest of five children, a 12-year-old from Lubbock, Texas, whose evangelical family eschewed public education for homeschooling and wove improbable scientific theories into literal interpretations of the bible. Then her father, a former air force pilot, was diagnosed with stage IV cancer at the age of thirty-eight, and, as Kathleen writes in her searing memoir, Loose of Earth, “it was like pouring gasoline on the Holy Spirit.” In this conversation, we explore the intricate relationship between personal grief, memory, and the political dimensions of loss. We dive dep into the complexities of memory, denial, and the impact of parental beliefs on childhood experiences of loss. As a memoirist, Kathleen explores the journey of humanizing those we’ve lost and shares her experiences growing up in a family that prioritized faith healing over medical care for her father's cancer. Kathleen explores the impact of her father's military background, the denial surrounding his illness, and the emotional toll it took on her as a child. The conversation also explores the environmental factors contributing to her father's health issues, particularly PFAS contamination, and how these experiences shaped her understanding of grief and memory. ABOUT THE GUESTKathleen was born in a military hospital on Guam in 1984. She was raised in Lubbock, Texas. She earned an MFA from the Ohio State University and a Ph.D. from the University of Illinois at Chicago. She is the author of the memoir Loose of Earth, out with the University of Texas Press (April 2024). Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, Texas Observer, Belt, Guernica, Gulf Coast, River Teeth, and elsewhere. For five years, she’s taught creative nonfiction workshops at the University of Chicago. In Fall 2024, she will join the English faculty at SUNY New Paltz as an Assistant Professor. You can pick up a copy of her extraordinary memoir, Loose of Earth online here or in your favorite local bookstore. ABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, cancer survivor and grief activist on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time. LEARN more at www.lisakeefauver.com.FOLLOW @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram.LISTEN to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.READ Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores and on your favorite online booksellers, including Bookshop.Org. Also available as an audiobook.WATCH her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less here or the video versions of this podcast hereJamie Thrower | Creativity in the End
01:03:34||Season 6Please welcome my wonderful friend, Jamie Thrower to the show. They are a Creative, Death Doula and founder of the Queer Grief Club. This episode is all about the intersections of grief, art, and community. Jamie and Lisa explore how personal experiences with loss shape grief beliefs, the importance of creative expression in processing grief, and the need for safe spaces for grieving individuals, particularly within the LGBTQ+ community. Jamie shares their journey of using photography and art as tools for mindfulness and connection, emphasizing the significance of community in navigating grief. Jamie explores their own losses, including a late pregnancy loss and how that informs the community work they do. The conversation highlights the necessity of witnessing grief and creating environments where individuals can both embody and express their grief. ABOUT THE GUESTYou can learn more about Jamie’s work as a Death Doula, End-Of-Life Educator, and Grief Supporter at www.jamiethrower.com. They also host an incredible Substack called Mourning Glory. You can sign up here: https://jamiethrower.substack.com/ ABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, and grief activist on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time. Learn more at www.lisakeefauver.com.Follow @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram.Listen to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.Read Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores and on your favorite online booksellers, including Bookshop.Org. Also available as an audiobook.Watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less here SPECIAL EPISODESubmit your question: If you have a grief question, you’d like Lisa to answer on the air, record your question here: https://www.speakpipe.com/GriefIsASneakyBitchLive. Make sure you’re subscribed to the show so you get notified when these bonus episodes drop so you can hear your question, and her answer live on the air.Domenica Feraud | Exploring Grief On Stage
01:15:32||Season 6Doménica Feraud joined host Lisa Keefauver for a conversation about her play 'Someone Spectacular' and the experience of creating a play about grief. They discuss the early lessons about grief that Doménica learned from her parents, the losses she experienced as a child, and the impact of those losses on her understanding of grief. Doménica shares how her close relationship with her mother, Nathalie, shaped her identity and how her mother's sudden death led her to write the play. They also touch on the importance of open conversations about grief and the struggles of navigating life after loss. The play 'Someone Spectacular' explores the messy and complex nature of grief through the stories of six characters who come together in a grief support group. Each character represents a different type of loss, including the death of a spouse, the loss of a sibling, and the experience of miscarriage. The play delves into the individual experiences of grief and the ways in which people cope and support each other. It emphasizes the importance of staying connected and working through the pain together, even when it's messy and uncomfortable. ABOUT GUESTDoménica Feraud is a first-generation Ecuadorian writer, producer, and actor from New York City. Her groundbreaking play Rinse, Repeat premiered at the Signature Theatre in 2019 (NYT Critic’s Pick). Her sophomore play, someone spectacular, a tribute to her late mother Nathalie, is currently running at Signature Theater until September 7th. After the viral success of The Movie Star and Me and The 26-Year-Old Virgin, Feraud’s debut book, You Are What You See, will be released next summer. Acting credits include: Rinse, Repeat (Signature), The Wild Parrots of Campbell (Cherry Lane). Film/TV: Life After You, “Law & Order: SVU.” BA: NYU Tisch School of the Arts. Learn more about her and her work at https://www.domenicaferaud.com ABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, and grief activist on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time. Learn more at www.lisakeefauver.com.Follow @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram.Listen to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.Read Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores and on your favorite online booksellers, including Bookshop.Org. Also available as an audiobook.Watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less hereJessica Waite | The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards
01:16:18||Season 6Jessica Waite, author of The Widow’s Guide to Dead Bastards is my guest in this thought-provoking episode. We explore the complexities of grief, betrayal, and healing through Jessica's personal journey as a widow. We discuss early memories of loss, the impact of mental health on relationships, and the importance of processing anger and forgiveness. Jessica shares her experiences with writing as a healing tool and the societal expectations surrounding grief. Our conversation emphasizes the significance of intuition, agency, and the need for compassion in navigating the aftermath of betrayal and loss. ABOUT THE GUESTWhen life handed Jessica Waite a riveting, horrifying and surprisingly beautiful story, she transformed herself into a writer. Her debut memoir, The Widow’s Guide to Dead Bastards (Atria) was an instant national bestseller, featured by The Washington Post, Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper, The Toronto Star and many other outlets. Jessica lives on Treaty 7 territory in the city of Calgary, Alberta. You can find her at JessicaWaite.work ABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, and grief activist on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time. Learn more at www.lisakeefauver.com.Follow @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram.Listen to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.Read Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores and on your favorite online booksellers, including Bookshop.Org. Also available as an audiobook.Watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less here SPECIAL EPISODE NEWSSubmit your question: If you have a grief question, you’d like Lisa to answer on the air, record your question here: https://www.speakpipe.com/GriefIsASneakyBitchLive. Make sure you’re subscribed to the show so you get notified when these bonus episodes drop so you can hear your question, and her answer live on the air.