Grief is a Sneaky Bitch

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Christina Bain | Bearing The Wait


In Bearing The Wait, my guest Christina Bain and I sat down together (physically distanced of course), to hold this beautifully intimate and special conversation about the grief that comes about when you face your own mortality. Christina was so honest and vulnerable as she opened up about the journey she’s been on over the past 5 years. She is 36, married to Wes, her husband of 12 years, and she has an 8-year-old girl named Marlowe. She also has Stage 4 Colon Cancer. She is wise and kind, she offers insights and humor, and she expands our understanding of grief. She is such a gift in my life and I’m so grateful to have this chance to introduce her to you too. As mentioned in the show, you can read What to Make When You're Dying, the beautifully insightful article she published earlier this year. You can also follow her cancer journey on Christina’s blog at Bearing the Wait


About the show

If you love deep, honest, authentic conversations, get ready to love Grief is a Sneaky Bitch. Host Lisa Keefauver, is a grief and empathy activist who holds an extensive grief resume herself, as a social worker, narrative therapist, grief guide, and widow. From CEOs and social workers to best-selling authors, educators, filmmakers, and stay-at-home moms, her guests open up about the complexity, confusion, and even confidence they have gained by navigating a grief journey of their own. To learn more about the show and how Lisa Keefauver is reimagining grief, sign up for her not-so-regular newsletter, follow on Instagram and Twitter or visit www.lisakeefauver.com today!


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More Episodes

11/15/2022

Hui-Wen Sato | Human, Not Superhero

What must it be like to be a pediatric ICU Nurse day in and day out, witnessing children and families in the most vulnerable and often grief-filled moments of their lives? Today’s guest, Hui-Wen Sato weaves a beautiful narrative about the realities of professional grief and the important cultural shifts needed to better serve both families and the medical professionals that serve them. She also shares the personal resources she draws on to sustain her and the role of storytelling as healing for all involved. And, as the title implies, she also implores us to stop putting healthcare workers on a pedestal. Hui-wen is a pediatric ICU nurse based in Los Angeles. She holds an MPH and MSN from UCLA, and is currently obtaining her Certification in Narrative Medicine from Columbia University. She and her husband have two daughters, two tortoises and one complicated dog. EPISODE RESOURCES: Check out Hui-Wen's TEDx Talk: “How Grief Helped Me Become a Better Caregiver.” She has been featured in podcasts with NPR TED Radio Hour and The Silent Why, as well as webinars for Happify and the Speaking Grief Initiative. You can follow her work at http://heartofnursing.blog. JUMP STRAIGHT INTO: (06:30) - Hui-Wen’s first memory of loss and what she learned from it (17:06) - What led Hui-Wen to become an ICU nurse (26:20) - Grieving as a nurse (45:18) - Letting go of the fix-it narrative (57:25) - The big gulf: the expectation of healing vs. the harsh reality (01:08:43) - The healing power of storytelling  STAY CONNECTED: SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST on your favorite platform so you don’t miss an episode. If you love the show, I’d love to invite you to leave a rating and write a review. STAY UP TO DATE on the podcast and all the grief support offered by our host, Lisa Keefauver, by signing up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter. IF YOU’RE FEELING SOCIAL, you can find her on all your favorite social channels too. @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver
11/2/2022

Myra Sack | Being With The Both And

Season 4
My guest Myra Sack shares the heart break and the beauty of what it was like to be with her daughter Havi in her too short life. She and her husband Matt ended up having only 13 months between Havi’s diagnosis of Tay-Sachs Disease at just 15 months old and her death at home with them. In that time, the created a sacred weekly ritual that combined the Jewish tradition of Shabbat with birthday celebrations that Havi would most likely not be alive for. The result was 57 Shabbirthdays and the recognition that we can all hold joy and pain in these liminal spaces. What a sacred and beautiful conversation we shared. EPISODE RESOURCES:A Mother’s Letter On The Passing Of A Young Daughter by Myra SackVisit the Center for Healing and Justice Through Sport  JUMP STRAIGHT INTO:(06:06) - Approach Behavior vs. Avoidant Behavior: Why approaching grief as a community should be encouraged - “We see grieving people somehow as scary or you know, this negative stimulus as opposed to seeing grieving people as beautiful and wise and light.” (09:18) - Myra’s story: How she met her Husband Matt, became themother of Havi and a fatal error that changed their lives forever.  (13:36) - Shabbirthday: Moving from shock and anger to activeliving and celebrating the time Havi had left - “It was in that moment that Irealized that she was here with me in this physical world for only a briefmoment more, and so I was going to summon whatever courage.”  (26:19) - Finding solace as a community: How people became presentin the Shabbirthdays and accompanied Myra’s family. (35:53) - How Myra continued a relationship with Havi after her death. STAY CONNECTEDSUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST on your favorite platform so you don’t miss an episode. If you love the show, I’d love to invite you to leave a rating and write a review.STAY UP TO DATE on the podcast and all the grief support offered by our host, Lisa Keefauver, by signing up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter.IF YOU’RE FEELING SOCIAL, you can find her on all your favorite social channels too. @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver
10/18/2022

Rachel Yehuda, PhD | Grief, Stress, and Rituals

Season 4
WELCOME TO SEASON 4! In this first episode of the season, host Lisa Keefauver invites Dr. Rachel Yehuda, a researcher she has long admired, to join her in a conversation that explores grief, stress, and rituals. Although they do touch on the wisdom she has gained from her seminal work in the areas of intergenerational trauma and stress and PTSD, they also got much more personal, including exploring what Dr. Yehuda learned about grief and ritual growing up in an observant Jewish household and community. Dr. Rachel Yehuda is an Endowed Professor of Psychiatry and Neuroscience of Trauma. She is also Director of Mental Health at the James J. Peters Veterans Affairs Medical Center. Dr. Yehuda is a recognized leader in the field of traumatic stress studies, PTSD, and intergenerational trauma. In 2019, Dr. Yehuda was elected to the National Academy of Medicine for her seminal contributions to understanding the psychological and biological impact of traumatic stress. In 2020, Dr. Yehuda established and now directs the Center for Psychedelic Psychotherapy and Trauma Research.EPISODE RESOURCESLearn more about Dr Yehuda’s work on psychedelic psychotherapy: The Center for Psychedelic Psychotherapy and Trauma Research And don’t forget to check out Rachel Yehuda’s Publications.  JUMP STRAIGHT INTO(03:01) - Her earliest memory of grief(07:27) - How different cultures see death and grief, and how to express empathy and compassion with actions rather than words (20:55) - Making space for emotions in early grief(25:20) - Acknowledging your own grief so that you can be present and supportive for others when a loss occurs. (35:29) - The process of grief - moving on without letting the past take away your future  (44:21) - The impact of grief and the importance of meaning making STAY CONNECTED FOR MORE GRIEF SUPPORTSubscribe to the podcast on your favorite platform so you don’t miss an episode. If you love the show, I’d love to invite you to leave a rating and write a review on Apple PodcastStay up-to-date on the podcast including behind-the-scenes scoop by signing up for host Lisa Keefauver's Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter.If you’re feeling social, connect with the host on all your favorite social channels too. @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver