Grief is a Sneaky Bitch

Share

Bearing The Wait

Season 2

About This Episode



In Bearing The Wait, my guest Christina Bain and I sat down together (physically distanced of course), to hold this beautifully intimate and special conversation about the grief that comes about when you face your own mortality. Christina was so honest and vulnerable as she opened up about the journey she’s been on over the past 5 years. She is 36, married to Wes, her husband of 12 years, and she has an 8-year-old girl named Marlowe. She also has Stage 4 Colon Cancer. She is wise and kind, she offers insights and humor, and she expands our understanding of grief. She is such a gift in my life and I’m so grateful to have this chance to introduce her to you too. As mentioned in the show, you can read What to Make When You're Dying, the beautifully insightful article she published earlier this year. You can also follow her cancer journey on Christina’s blog at Bearing the Wait


About The Host



As founder of Reimagining Grief, Lisa Keefauver is on a mission to change the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time. Learn more by visiting www.reimagininggrief.com In addition to hosting this podcast, Lisa offers 1:1 Grief Support, Guided Mindfulness Meditations, Grief-Smart Workplace Consulting, and a unique line of Empathy Cards. She works as a freelance speaker and writer on the topics of grief, loss and empathy for many outlets including as a VIP contributor to Thrive Global. If you’re feeling social, follow her journey on social media @reimagininggrief. If you like this series, please make sure to leave a rating and write a review TODAY on Apple Podcasts.


More Episodes

5/11/2021

A Mother's Gift of Joy

Season 2
If you love deep, honest, authentic conversations get ready to love Grief is a Sneaky Bitch. Lisa Keefauver, founder of Reimagining Grief, holds an extensive grief resume herself, as a social worker, narrative therapist, grief guide, and widow. She brings her deep curiosity, love of conversation, and knowledge of how language and culture shapes our experiences of ourselves and our world, including our grief, to each unscripted conversation. From CEO’s and social workers to authors, educators, filmmakers and stay-at-home moms, her guests open up about the complexity, confusion, and even confidence they have gained by navigating a grief journey of their own.About the episodeFor this episode, I was joined in conversation by the lovely Lindsay Joy Taylor, the owner of The Joyful Jewelry Box, jewelry and keepsakes to honor and remember your loved ones. Lindsay’s grief story begins early on, her mother was murdered when she was only one and even if she doesn’t have explicit memories of her, the grief and trauma it left on her family made an impression on her throughout her life. Like me, Lindsay is now an advocate for thinking about grief from a different angle than we were taught. She believes it is absolutely possible to feel joy and hold space for your mourning at the same time. In fact, that is one of the messages she hopes to put out in the world through her jewelry line and the grief work she does. Can’t wait for you to meet her!Episode ResourcesIf you wanna know more about Lindsay’s work, follow her on The Joyful Jewelry Box Instagram. Also, check out Lindsey’s beautiful products on The Joyful Jewelry Box website.Jump straight into:03:22 - Lindsay’s first memory of grief - “I'm a motherless daughter, but more specifically, my mother was murdered when I was only one year old. So naturally, I don't have any explicit memories of her.”11:17 - Holding space for grief doing the best we can - “We need to engage with and tend to our grief because if not, we're going to pass it onto somebody else.”20:06 - Getting stuck on grief: Is closure a real thing? - “We never caught her killer. There was a forced resignation in terms of how you pick up life and move forward.”22:45 - Helping kids understand and tell their loss story - “It was still really helpful for me to feel seen and to feel acknowledged, to be given attention, regardless of whether or not the context was my mother.”27:20 - Telling your story to people: Should I disclose or not? - “It created this outlet where people think that they have a right to help you figure out your own damn story.”33:02 - Therapy for therapists: Can I do this? Lindsay’s path in the psychology world - “I felt burdened by the experience. I didn't feel like I was equipping them with skills and so it just became overwhelming.”45:21 - How The Joyful Jewelry Box was created - “I took a hard left and then decided, instead of just designing jewelry on a whim, now I was doing remembrance and memorial jewelry to help other grievers honor and remember their loved ones.”Thanks for listening! If you’re feeling social, don’t forget to follow Lisa on Instagram. Make sure to leave a rating and write a review today on Apple Podcasts so that more people can find us.Our host, Lisa Keefauver, MSW offers a variety of services and products from individual grief sessions, to guided meditations, workshops, company culture consulting and even a line of beautiful and authentic Empathy Cards. To know more visit www.reimagininggrief.com
4/27/2021

Poetic Nature of Grief

Season 2
About the showIf you love deep, honest, authentic conversations get ready to love Grief is a Sneaky Bitch. Lisa Keefauver, founder of Reimagining Grief, holds an extensive grief resume herself, as a social worker, narrative therapist, grief guide, and widow. She brings her deep curiosity, love of conversation, and knowledge of how language and culture shapes our experiences of ourselves and our world, including our grief, to each unscripted conversation. From CEO’s and social workers to authors, educators, filmmakers and stay-at-home moms, her guests open up about the complexity, confusion, and even confidence they have gained by navigating a grief journey of their own.About the episodeIn this episode, Lisa talks to British-Iranian poet Fad Jamal (Khorsandjamal) about the power of artistic expression in the process of grieving. Fad intertwines her love of nature, the losses she’s faced, both death and non-death, and the poetic notions and sensibilities of her Persian heritage and the Farsi language to explore love and loss in two volumes of poetry - Quixotic Nature and most recently, Reflections and Refractions.Our conversation was so rich and expansive as we explored what nature has taught her about loss in its various forms and the ways in which metaphor and poetry has allowed her to explore the dark shadows of pain and grief. Fad brings forth such light, wisdom and hope, and even shares a few of her poems with us. I just can’t wait for you to meet her.Episode ResourcesReflection and Refraction by F KhorsandjamalQuixotic Nature by F KhorsandjamalReimagining Grief Newsletter Sign-UpJump straight into(03:29) - The cherry tree story: Pad’s first experience with grief - “I just remember being almost in shock that this thing that I had always really appreciated and loved and obviously got enjoyment out, was gone.”(16:39) - Numbness: False beliefs and assumptions about grief - “I remember it was pretty much a year later. Suddenly, I think I was in bed or something, I woke up and I just burst into tears.”(25:53) - Fad’s poetic Persian heritage and three of her beautiful poems: Numb, Carnival of Dark & Cabin - “I was brought up with a lot of reference to poetry because Persian poetry and poetry within Persian culture, as a broader sense, is huge.”(35:02) - Writing poetry as a way to cope with loss - “As the title suggests it's Reflection and Refraction, you kind of go through these things to come out the other side, like the creation of a rainbow.”(40:30) - Don’t Sweep it under the rug!: How to honor and give space to different types of grief - “Little people are given the opportunity to grieve things that aren't a death, a physical death.”(48:12) - Looking at darkness in the face and not letting it take over - “There is a point where you feel like you're bereft and there's nothing left, but it's actually an opportunity. There will come a time when you'll want to fill it again with love, light, laughter, and delight.”Thanks for listening! If you’re feeling social, don’t forget to follow Lisa on Instagram. Make sure to leave a rating and write a review today on Apple Podcasts so that more people can find us.Our host, Lisa Keefauver, offers a variety of services and products from individual grief sessions, to guided meditations, workshops, company culture consulting and even a line of beautiful and authentic Empathy Cards. To know more visit www.reimagininggrief.com
4/13/2021

Dark Humor Helps

Season 2
About the showIf you love deep, honest, authentic conversations get ready to love Grief is a Sneaky Bitch. Lisa Keefauver, founder of Reimagining Grief, holds an extensive grief resume herself, as a social worker, narrative therapist, grief guide, and widow. She brings her deep curiosity, love of conversation, and knowledge of how language and culture shapes our experiences of ourselves and our world, including our grief, to each unscripted conversation. From CEO’s and social workers to authors, educators, filmmakers and stay-at-home moms, her guests open up about the complexity, confusion, and even confidence they have gained by navigating a grief journey of their own.About the episodeGet ready y’all. This is an episode unlike any other I’ve had. My guest, Tawny Platis, is a voice actor, a comedian, host of her own podcast, and well, she uses dark humor as a tool to navigate the traumatic death of her husband George, who was just 29. We explored how Tawny uses her comedic instincts to help her navigate this tremendous loss, even just moments after she found her husband in a messy scene dead on the floor of their home. We talk about the expectations people have about how widows should behave and the discomfort and judgment some people feel when someone is grieving differently than them. We drop some truth-bombs about grief in general and young widowhood in particular. We do it all with humor, profanity AND sincerity and insight because, yes, we used all the tools at our disposal to talk about this difficult topic and you should too. I can’t wait for you to meet her.Episode Resources:Follow Tawny on Instagram, TikTok or check out her podcast Death is HilariousJump straight into:(03:25) - Tawny’s first experiences with grief - “I remember being told not to be so emotional because I was being dramatic and I was making other people uncomfortable.”(09:00) - Using comedy as a coping mechanism - “My family didn't really have a lot of love for me, but if I could make them laugh, it felt like they did. And then that extended towards everybody in my life.”(11:30) - George’s terminal illness and finding unconditional love - “He told me right off the bat what was going on with him, that he could die at any moment. I was completely in love with him, it wasn't even a second thought to break up with him or to not pursue a relationship with him.”(20:48) - Finding your own capacity to heal - “There's a black bag right there, and they're going to zip him up and take him away and I just go ‘I'm not really ready for you to take his body, but I guess if you don't, that kind of makes me liable to get into a Norman Bates situation here’. ”(30:08) - Tawny and George’s podcast and how it evolved into Death is Hilarious - “If we hadn't shared so much I wouldn't have all of that recording to go back and visit. It reminds me it was real and it happened. He was real. What we had was real.”(39:08) - Are you past it? Coping with people who don't show up for you - “So often people don't even bring it up now or they don't check on me because I'm making jokes about it, they see me getting jobs, they see me posting these episodes...”(47:08) - Secondary loss and finding the right support system - “My girlfriends were able to do that. When I was in the mood to laugh, they crack jokes right alongside me, and when I was on the ground and I couldn't even make it to the couch they crawled down on the ground and just sat with me.”(52:09) - The gift of sharing our stories and wounds - “I think one of our missions, all of us as humans, but especially when we take on the work of grief, is to figure out how to keep showing up in our integrity and authenticity.”About The HostThanks for listening! If you’re feeling social, don’t forget to follow Lisa on Instagram. Make sure to leave a rating and write a review today on Apple Podcasts so that more people can find us.Our host, Lisa Keefauver, offers a variety of services and products from individual grief sessions, to guided meditations, workshops, company culture consulting and even a line of beautiful and authentic Empathy Cards. To know more visit www.reimagininggrief.com