Grief is a Sneaky Bitch

In this conversation, Dr. Red Hoffman shares her experiences with grief and loss, including the deaths of her grandparents, the murder of her father in a terrorist attack, and the death by suicide of her boyfriend. She discusses the challenges of navigating grief as a teenager and the lack of support and language to express her emotions. Red also talks about her journey into the medical field, combining her passion for surgery with her interest in palliative care and end-of-life conversations. She discusses the unique challenges faced by survivors of violent loss, including the loss of safety in the world and the complications of dealing with the legal system and media. Red emphasizes the importance of extending grace to oneself and others in the grieving process and highlights the need for understanding and support for survivors of violent loss.MORE ABOUT THE GUESTMelissa Red Hoffman, MD, ND, FACS began her professional career as a naturopathic physician and a yoga teacher and now practices as an acute care surgeon (a combination of trauma, emergency general surgery, and surgical critical) at Mission Hospital in Asheville. As one of just 90 US surgeons board-certified in Hospice and Palliative Medicine, she serves as an Associate Hospice Medical Director at Care Partners. Red is the co-founder of the Surgical Palliative Care Society. She recently launched a new podcast, The Surgical Soul with Red MD, focused on the joys and struggles of surgeons, both inside and outside of the operating room.ABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, and grief activist on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time. Learn more at www.lisakeefauver.com.Follow @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram.Listen to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.Read Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores and Amazon, Bookshop.Org. Barnes & Noble. Also available in the UK and available as an audiobook.Watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less here

Dr. Joanne Cacciatore is an expert in traumatic grief and she is also a bereaved mother. The conversation today is wide and deep exploring themes including: traumatic grief, the loss of a child, the healing practices and rituals required to metabolize loss, the ways in which our culture makes navigating the messy non-linear path of grief unnecessarily difficult, and so much more. Her best selling book, Bearing the Unbearable: Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief, is one of my all-time favorite books on loss and a national award winning best seller that has helped revolutionize the way our culture thinks, and feels, about grief.  MORE ABOUT THE GUESTDr. Joanne Cacciatore is a Professor at Arizona State University, a Senior Sustainability Scholar, and Director of the Graduate Certificate in Trauma and Bereavement Program. She is in the top 2% of scholars in her field around the world, and has devoted her life to research, practice, and community based care of those suffering traumatic grief. She served on Oprah and Prince Harry’s Mental Health Committee for the Apple TV Series, The Me You Can’t See, which also featured her work at the Selah Carefarm, a therapeutic ecocommunity that combines rescued animals with humans who are grieving the tragic death of a child, parent, partner, or other primary family member. Her research has been published in the Lancet, and other medical journals, and she just released one the Great Courses called Understanding and Coping with Grief with Audible in 2022.  ABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, and grief activist on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time. Learn more at www.lisakeefauver.com.Follow @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram.Listen to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.Read Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores and on your favorite online booksellers, including Bookshop.Org. Also available as an audiobook.Watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less hereSPECIAL EPISODE NEWSSubmit your question: If you have a grief question, you’d like Lisa to answer on the air, record your question here: https://www.speakpipe.com/GriefIsASneakyBitchLive. Make sure you’re subscribed to the show so you get notified when these bonus episodes drop so you can hear your question, and her answer live on the air.

Kicking off Season 6 of the show, actress and author Tembi Locke shares her experience of grief and the lessons she learned after the death of her husband. She discusses the importance of bringing awareness to grief and the opportunity it provides for connection and aliveness. She emphasizes the need to hold both the pain of loss and the joy of the person's life. Tembi also talks about the impact her husband had on her and the importance of sharing stories and memories of loved ones. In this conversation, Lisa Keefauver and Tembi Locke discuss the daily challenges of grief and the importance of finding agency and small moments of control amid loss. They also explore the vulnerability of being a young widow and the overwhelming weight of responsibility. Tembi shares her experience of navigating solo parenting and the importance of finding a partner who can understand and support her grief journey. They emphasize the need for rest, self-care, and finding moments of joy or ease in the midst of grief.SHOW RESOURCESFrom Scratch: A Memoir of Love, Sicily, and Finding Home: https://www.amazon.com/Scratch-Memoir-Love-Sicily-Finding/dp/150118766X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=From Scratch (the Netflix special): https://www.netflix.com/title/81104486 ABOUT THE SHOW & HOSTLisa Keefauver is a social worker, widow, and grief activist on a mission to reimagine the narratives of grief, one conversation at a time.Learn more at www.lisakeefauver.com.Follow @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram.Listen to Grief is a Sneaky Bitch Podcast - Available on all podcast platforms.Read Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss. Available in bookstores, favorite online booksellers, including Bookshop.Org. Also available as an audiobook.Watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less hereSPECIAL EPISODE NEWSSubmit your question: If you have a grief question, you’d like Lisa to answer on the air, record your question here: https://www.speakpipe.com/GriefIsASneakyBitchLive. Make sure you’re subscribed to the show so you get notified when these bonus episodes drop so you can hear your question, and her answer live on the air.This conversation was recorded in May 2024 prior to the release of host Lisa Keefauver’s book and held to be the kickoff episode for Season 6 of the podcast.

Jessica Fein has faced a lot of loss. Siblings, parents, and in 2022 her daughter Dalia. At the age of five Jessica’s daughter Dalia was diagnosed with a rare degenerative disease that would claim her life at 17. Before that moment came, and inspired by Dalia’s own insuppressible zest for life, Jessica and her family would discover how to live in the present when the future can’t be fixed. In our conversation today, and in her beautiful book, Breath Taking: A Memoir of Family, Dreams, and Broken Genes, Jessica maps both her journey to becoming an adoptive mom and the roller coaster ride of loving and caring for a terminally ill child, persevering when the simple act of taking a breath can become an act of courage. Through it all, she discovers the need to be both relentless advocate and calm presence, to show vulnerability as well as strength, and to allow joy to be louder than sorrow. About the Guest & ResourcesIn addition to being a writer and a fierce advocate in the memory of her daughter, she's also host of the "I Don't Know How You Do It” podcast, which features people whose lives seem unimaginable from the outside. I’m grateful to share that I had the chance to be on the other side of the microphone and join her on her show recently too. Host Lisa Keefauver’s forthcoming book Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble or Bookshop.org and will be in bookstores JUNE 4th. Visit www.lisakeefauver.com to learn more about Lisa, sign up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter, register for an upcoming online grief workshop, find out if she is coming to a city near you for her book tour, or watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less. Oh, and this season, if you want to WATCH the show, you can now watch it on YouTube @lisakeefauvermsw Recorded May 8, 2024

I’m inviting you to revisit a very special conversation I had from Season 4 of this podcast with my guest pediatric ICU nurse, Hui-Wen Sato.Why? Well something absolutely crazy and horrible happened to the both of us shortly after we recorded that episode in November 2022. Just over 2 months later, on January 20th 2023, we BOTH received a Breast Cancer Diagnosis. On the EXACT SAME DAY. You'll hear a compelling new intro about the friendship that formed and of course have a chance to listen or re-listen to the profound wisdom Hui-Wen shares in our conversation.What must it be like to be a pediatric ICU Nurse day in and day out, witnessing children and families in the most vulnerable and often grief-filled moments of their lives? Today’s guest, Hui-Wen Sato weaves a beautiful narrative about the realities of professional grief and the important cultural shifts needed to better serve both families and the medical professionals that serve them. She also shares the personal resources she draws on to sustain her and the role of storytelling as healing for all involved. And, as the title implies, she also implores us to stop putting healthcare workers on a pedestal. Hui-wen is a pediatric ICU nurse based in Los Angeles. She holds an MPH and MSN from UCLA, and is currently obtaining her Certification in Narrative Medicine from Columbia University. She and her husband have two daughters, two tortoises and one complicated dog. EPISODE RESOURCES:Her 2017 TEDxTalk was promoted to the main TED webpage in 2020, titled “How Grief Helped Me Become a Better Caregiver.”You can also now view her powerful talk at End Well hereShe has been featured in podcasts with NPR TED Radio Hour and The Silent Why, as well as webinars for Happify and the Speaking Grief Initiative.You can follow her work at http://heartofnursing.blog. Host Lisa Keefauver’s forthcoming book Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble or Bookshop.org. Drop her a DM on Instagram @lisakeefauvermsw to let her know you did and she’ll send you a party invite to her Book Launch Celebration Visit www.lisakeefauver.com to learn more about Lisa, sign up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter, register for an upcoming online grief workshop, find out if she is coming to a city near you for her book tour, or watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less. Original episode recorded October 28, 2022. Recorded New Intro May 6, 2023 - 14 months after both guest and host were diagnosed with Breast Cancer on the exact same day - January 20, 2023.

My guest today J.S. (Joon) Park is a hospital chaplain. Some of the other descriptions he uses for himself include: former atheist/agnostic, sixth degree black belt, suicide survivor, Korean-American, and follower of Christ. He is the author of a profoundly insightful, and at times poetic new book, As Long As You Need: Permission to Grieve. It’s part hospital chaplain experience and part memoir.In this episode, Joon shares a bit about his personal journey from growing up in a home with violence and a martial arts dojo to becoming a hospital chaplain, highlighting the similarities between the two roles in terms of being present and encouraging others to find their voice. We also discussed the importance of allowing individuals to talk about their hopes and dreams, even in the face of loss or adversity. Joon shared how he creates safe space where people can share their desires without feeling shame or judgment. One of the important themes Joon brings to light is the grief we often feel over future losses and the significance of giving oneself permission to grieve them.The conversation also touches on the idea relocating hope, of staying close to one's dreams and finding new ways to honor them, even if the original path is no longer possible. We also explored the importance of self-care and pacing oneself in the work of caregiving, recognizing the need for rest and support. One of the many important reminders I learned from both his book and our conversation is recognizing loss of autonomy and the value of finding the smallest choices and moments. Joon’s vulnerability, wisdom, and heart shine through both in his book and in our conversation.About the Guest & Resources J.S. Park is a hospital chaplain, published author, and online educator. For eight years he has been an interfaith chaplain at a 1000+ bed hospital that is designated a Level 1 Trauma Center. His role includes grief counseling, attending every death, every trauma and Code Blue, staff care, and supporting end-of-life care. J.S. also served for three years as a chaplain at one of the largest nonprofit charities for the homeless on the east coast. J.S. has a MDiv completed in 2010 and a BA in Psychology. He also has a sixth-degree black belt. He is the author of As Long as You Need: Permission to Grieve. J.S. currently lives in Tampa, Florida with his wife, a nurse practitioner, and his daughter, newborn son, and adopted dog. Host Lisa Keefauver’s forthcoming book Grief is a Sneaky Bitch: An Uncensored Guide to Navigating Loss IS NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble or Bookshop.org. Drop her a DM on Instagram @lisakeefauvermsw to let her know you did and she’ll send you a party invite to her Book Launch Celebration Visit www.lisakeefauver.com to learn more about Lisa, sign up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter, register for an upcoming online grief workshop, find out if she is coming to a city near you for her book tour, or watch her TEDx talk, Why Knowing More About Grief Can Make it Suck Less. You can also WATCH this episode now on YouTube @lisakeefauvermsw Recorded April 24, 2024.