Share

Grief is a Sneaky Bitch

with creator and host, Lisa Keefauver, MSW

Grief is a Sneaky Bitch creator and host Lisa Keefauver brings her deep curiosity, love of conversation, and knowledge of how language and culture shapes our experiences of ourselves and our world (including our grief) t
Latest Episode3/21/2023

Sunita Puri, MD | That Good Night

Season 4
Sunita Puri is a Palliative Medicine physician and author of the incredible book That Good Night: Life and Medicine in the Eleventh Hour, a critically-acclaimed literary memoir examining her journey to the practice of palliative medicine, and her quest to help patients and families redefine what it means to live and die well in the face of serious illness. In this episode, she explores her experiences in palliative medicine, the role of spirituality and the sacred practice of accompanying someone in their pain and suffering, what it means to have a good death, and so much more. Just like in her writing and in her practice as a palliative physician, Sunita brings so much wisdom, warmth and insight to our conversation. About the guestDr. Sunita Puri is the Program Director of the Hospice and Palliative Medicine fellowship at the University of Massachusetts, where she is also an Associate Professor of Clinical Medicine. She completed medical school and residency training in internal medicine at the University of California San Francisco followed by a fellowship in Hospice and Palliative Medicine at Stanford. A graduate of Yale University and the recipient of a Rhodes Scholarship, her writing has appeared in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, Slate, JAMA, and, forthcoming, the New Yorker. She and her work have been featured in the Atlantic, People Magazine, PBS’ Christian Amanpour Show, NPR, the Guardian, BBC, India Today, and Literary Hub. She is passionate about the ways that the precise and compassionate use of language can empower patients and physicians to have the right conversations about living and dying. Episode ResourcesI HIGHLY recommend buying her book That Good Night: Life and Medicine in the Eleventh Hour. Other guests who’ve explored aspects of this topic include Dr. BJ Miller and Social Workers Rachel Rusch and Rachel-Carnahan Metzger.Jump Straight Into It(14:00) – Sunita talks about how in her training she always gravitated towards “the why” – why is a particular intervention being given? To what end?(33:15) – Sunita explores the importance of showing up as your authentic self – whether you’re the physician, a family member or a friend. It’s not about a perfect phrase or perfect act, it’s about showing up as you.(44:00) - Sunita explores the importance of listening versus talking when accompanying someone who’s in pain or suffering. Recognizing the paternalistic approach of fix-it when it comes to patient’s emotions.Podcast Merch AlertYou asked, I answered. I finally created some GSB Podcast merch from tees to hoodies to coffee mugs, journals and stickers. Head over to the Grief Happens Shop at www.lisakeefauver.com/griefhappensshop Stay Connected to Our Host SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST on your favorite platform.INVITE HER TO YOUR INBOX to get behind-the-scenes on the podcast and all the grief support offered by our host, Lisa Keefauver, by signing up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter. IF YOU’RE FEELING SOCIAL, you can find her on all your favorite social channels too.@lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver
3/21/2023

Sunita Puri, MD | That Good Night

Season 4
Sunita Puri is a Palliative Medicine physician and author of the incredible book That Good Night: Life and Medicine in the Eleventh Hour, a critically-acclaimed literary memoir examining her journey to the practice of palliative medicine, and her quest to help patients and families redefine what it means to live and die well in the face of serious illness. In this episode, she explores her experiences in palliative medicine, the role of spirituality and the sacred practice of accompanying someone in their pain and suffering, what it means to have a good death, and so much more. Just like in her writing and in her practice as a palliative physician, Sunita brings so much wisdom, warmth and insight to our conversation. About the guestDr. Sunita Puri is the Program Director of the Hospice and Palliative Medicine fellowship at the University of Massachusetts, where she is also an Associate Professor of Clinical Medicine. She completed medical school and residency training in internal medicine at the University of California San Francisco followed by a fellowship in Hospice and Palliative Medicine at Stanford. A graduate of Yale University and the recipient of a Rhodes Scholarship, her writing has appeared in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, Slate, JAMA, and, forthcoming, the New Yorker. She and her work have been featured in the Atlantic, People Magazine, PBS’ Christian Amanpour Show, NPR, the Guardian, BBC, India Today, and Literary Hub. She is passionate about the ways that the precise and compassionate use of language can empower patients and physicians to have the right conversations about living and dying. Episode ResourcesI HIGHLY recommend buying her book That Good Night: Life and Medicine in the Eleventh Hour. Other guests who’ve explored aspects of this topic include Dr. BJ Miller and Social Workers Rachel Rusch and Rachel-Carnahan Metzger.Jump Straight Into It(14:00) – Sunita talks about how in her training she always gravitated towards “the why” – why is a particular intervention being given? To what end?(33:15) – Sunita explores the importance of showing up as your authentic self – whether you’re the physician, a family member or a friend. It’s not about a perfect phrase or perfect act, it’s about showing up as you.(44:00) - Sunita explores the importance of listening versus talking when accompanying someone who’s in pain or suffering. Recognizing the paternalistic approach of fix-it when it comes to patient’s emotions.Podcast Merch AlertYou asked, I answered. I finally created some GSB Podcast merch from tees to hoodies to coffee mugs, journals and stickers. Head over to the Grief Happens Shop at www.lisakeefauver.com/griefhappensshop Stay Connected to Our Host SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST on your favorite platform.INVITE HER TO YOUR INBOX to get behind-the-scenes on the podcast and all the grief support offered by our host, Lisa Keefauver, by signing up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter. IF YOU’RE FEELING SOCIAL, you can find her on all your favorite social channels too.@lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver
3/10/2023

Mary-Frances O'Connor | This is Your Brain on Grief

Season 4
Mary-Frances O’Connor is my special guest in this episode. I devoured her book, The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss last year and knew I needed to have a conversation with the author on this show. I’m grateful to share that late last year, I had the honor of sitting down with Mary-Frances to explore the fascinating work she has been doing studying the Grieving Brain. I’m 100% confident you will learn so much and appreciate the warmth and wisdom she brings to this conversation. EPISODE RESOURCES:Mary-Frances O’Connor is an associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab, which investigates the effects of grief on the brain and the body. O’Connor earned a doctorate from the University of Arizona in 2004 and completed a fellowship at UCLA. Her work has been published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, Biological Psychiatry, and Psychological Science, and featured in Newsweek, the New York Times, and The Washington Post.I HIGHLY RECOMMEND buying her book, The Grieving Brain here at Amazon or any major booksellers. You can also learn more about her and her work by visiting her website: www.maryfrancesoconnor.orgJUMP STRAIGHT INTO:(13:46) – Explains shift from understanding grief effect on physiology to effect on the brain(21:-00) – Mary-Frances explains our need for attachment and security and what happens when we lose that relationship.(36:45) – Explains how understanding how the brain maps our relationships and why each grief journey is unique (43:00) - Explains while it’s common for us to think about the shoulda, coulda, wouldas in loss, rumination is actually a form of avoidance. She offers some alternative ways to consider the loss.NEW MERCH ALERTYou asked, I answered. I finally created some GSB Podcast merch from tees to hoodies to coffee mugs, journals and stickers. Head over to the Grief Happens Shop at www.lisakeefauver.com/griefhappensshop 3 WAYS TO STAY CONNECTED SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST on your favorite platform so you don’t miss an episode. If you love the show, I’d love to invite you to leave a rating and write a review.INVITE ME TO YOUR INBOX to get behind-the-scenes on the podcast and all the grief support offered by our host, Lisa Keefauver, by signing up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter.IF YOU’RE FEELING SOCIAL, you can find her on all your favorite social channels too. @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver
12/6/2022

Krissy Teegerstrom | I Was Already Everything

Season 4
In today’s episode, I explore the creative response to loss and trauma with my dear friend, artist, and former GSB podcast guest Krissy Teegerstrom. In A Grief Journey Delayed in Season 1, Krissy explored the delayed and disenfranchised grief over the death of her father. Not long after that conversation, Krissy came to recognize the  unnamed neglect and emotional abuse by her mother in the wake of her father’s death. In this episode, she speaks openly and vulnerably about coming to grips with the resulting grief and trauma she endured, and the difficult, oftentimes painful, but profoundly healing journey she’s been on ever since. All of that led to her following her intuition to create one of the most exquisite and deeply profound one-of-a-kind experiential art exhibitions, entitled I Was Already Everything EPISODE RESOURCESKrissy Teegerstrom is a self-taught artist who lives in Austin. In 2017, she returned to her native state of Texas after living in New York City and the Bay Area.Drawing inspiration through her intuition, faith in the unseen, and a connection to the natural world, Krissy creates by hand with pencil, paper, paint, thread and fabric, sewing on her 1948 Singer Featherweight sewing machine. She is dedicated to sustainability, utilizing secondhand materials in the majority of her work. Her artwork includes murals, collage, drawings and sculpture. Her design work, under the name Featherweight Studio, focuses primarily on clothing. Clients and collaborators include Eddie Vedder, Phoebe Bridgers, X, Heritage Boot, Tellason Denim and Wrong Marfa.You can learn about her work at: www.featherweightstudio.comJUMP STRAIGHT INTO(04:03) - Krissy’s ideal way of dealing with sadness and loss. (09:52) - Grief and trauma as a form of revelation of other Krissy's loss(16:13) - The moment Krissy realized it was the time to heal(20:22) - Krissy reclaims her artistic side and creativity as instruments for healing and self-awareness. (28:33) - Important symbolism that Krissy uses in her artwork to convey feelings (36:16) - Krissy's work as a safe space for us to be vulnerableSTAY CONNECTED 1)     SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST on your favorite platform so you don’t miss an episode. If you love the show, I’d love to invite you to leave a rating and write a review. 2)    STAY UP TO DATE on the podcast and all the grief support offered by our host, Lisa Keefauver, by signing up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter. 3)    IF YOU’RE FEELING SOCIAL, you can find her on all your favorite social channels too.@lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver
11/22/2022

Bonus Holiday Episode | 10 Tips for Navigating The Holidays in Grief

Season 4
Bonus Holiday EpisodeSomehow the holiday season snuck up on us, didn’t it? Host Lisa Keefauver knows that whether this is your first or 21st holiday in the wake of loss, it can be tough. So in this bonus holiday episode, she is speaking directly to you. She put together 10 tips for you to consider as you navigate the holidays in grief. While she can’t promise you that grief won’t show up over the holidays (because of course grief will, even and especially when not invited), she offers you 10 invitations to help you navigate the holidays with a little more ease and a lot more grace.She will also be sharing these 10 tips in a blog post and in her Not-So-Regular Newsletter, so sign up at www.lisakeefauver.com/newsletter Stay ConnectedSUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST on your favorite platform so you don’t miss an episode. If you love the show, I’d love to invite you to leave a rating and write a review.STAY UP TO DATE on the podcast and all the grief support offered by our host, Lisa Keefauver, by signing up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter. IF YOU’RE FEELING SOCIAL, you can find her on all your favorite social channels too. @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver
11/15/2022

Hui-Wen Sato | Human, Not Superhero

What must it be like to be a pediatric ICU Nurse day in and day out, witnessing children and families in the most vulnerable and often grief-filled moments of their lives? Today’s guest, Hui-Wen Sato weaves a beautiful narrative about the realities of professional grief and the important cultural shifts needed to better serve both families and the medical professionals that serve them. She also shares the personal resources she draws on to sustain her and the role of storytelling as healing for all involved. And, as the title implies, she also implores us to stop putting healthcare workers on a pedestal. Hui-wen is a pediatric ICU nurse based in Los Angeles. She holds an MPH and MSN from UCLA, and is currently obtaining her Certification in Narrative Medicine from Columbia University. She and her husband have two daughters, two tortoises and one complicated dog. EPISODE RESOURCES: Check out Hui-Wen's TEDx Talk: “How Grief Helped Me Become a Better Caregiver.” She has been featured in podcasts with NPR TED Radio Hour and The Silent Why, as well as webinars for Happify and the Speaking Grief Initiative. You can follow her work at http://heartofnursing.blog. JUMP STRAIGHT INTO: (06:30) - Hui-Wen’s first memory of loss and what she learned from it (17:06) - What led Hui-Wen to become an ICU nurse (26:20) - Grieving as a nurse (45:18) - Letting go of the fix-it narrative (57:25) - The big gulf: the expectation of healing vs. the harsh reality (01:08:43) - The healing power of storytelling  STAY CONNECTED: SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST on your favorite platform so you don’t miss an episode. If you love the show, I’d love to invite you to leave a rating and write a review. STAY UP TO DATE on the podcast and all the grief support offered by our host, Lisa Keefauver, by signing up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter. IF YOU’RE FEELING SOCIAL, you can find her on all your favorite social channels too. @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver
11/2/2022

Myra Sack | Being With The Both And

Season 4
My guest Myra Sack shares the heart break and the beauty of what it was like to be with her daughter Havi in her too short life. She and her husband Matt ended up having only 13 months between Havi’s diagnosis of Tay-Sachs Disease at just 15 months old and her death at home with them. In that time, the created a sacred weekly ritual that combined the Jewish tradition of Shabbat with birthday celebrations that Havi would most likely not be alive for. The result was 57 Shabbirthdays and the recognition that we can all hold joy and pain in these liminal spaces. What a sacred and beautiful conversation we shared. EPISODE RESOURCES:A Mother’s Letter On The Passing Of A Young Daughter by Myra SackVisit the Center for Healing and Justice Through Sport  JUMP STRAIGHT INTO:(06:06) - Approach Behavior vs. Avoidant Behavior: Why approaching grief as a community should be encouraged - “We see grieving people somehow as scary or you know, this negative stimulus as opposed to seeing grieving people as beautiful and wise and light.” (09:18) - Myra’s story: How she met her Husband Matt, became themother of Havi and a fatal error that changed their lives forever.  (13:36) - Shabbirthday: Moving from shock and anger to activeliving and celebrating the time Havi had left - “It was in that moment that Irealized that she was here with me in this physical world for only a briefmoment more, and so I was going to summon whatever courage.”  (26:19) - Finding solace as a community: How people became presentin the Shabbirthdays and accompanied Myra’s family. (35:53) - How Myra continued a relationship with Havi after her death. STAY CONNECTEDSUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST on your favorite platform so you don’t miss an episode. If you love the show, I’d love to invite you to leave a rating and write a review.STAY UP TO DATE on the podcast and all the grief support offered by our host, Lisa Keefauver, by signing up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter.IF YOU’RE FEELING SOCIAL, you can find her on all your favorite social channels too. @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver
10/18/2022

Rachel Yehuda, PhD | Grief, Stress, and Rituals

Season 4
WELCOME TO SEASON 4! In this first episode of the season, host Lisa Keefauver invites Dr. Rachel Yehuda, a researcher she has long admired, to join her in a conversation that explores grief, stress, and rituals. Although they do touch on the wisdom she has gained from her seminal work in the areas of intergenerational trauma and stress and PTSD, they also got much more personal, including exploring what Dr. Yehuda learned about grief and ritual growing up in an observant Jewish household and community. Dr. Rachel Yehuda is an Endowed Professor of Psychiatry and Neuroscience of Trauma. She is also Director of Mental Health at the James J. Peters Veterans Affairs Medical Center. Dr. Yehuda is a recognized leader in the field of traumatic stress studies, PTSD, and intergenerational trauma. In 2019, Dr. Yehuda was elected to the National Academy of Medicine for her seminal contributions to understanding the psychological and biological impact of traumatic stress. In 2020, Dr. Yehuda established and now directs the Center for Psychedelic Psychotherapy and Trauma Research.EPISODE RESOURCESLearn more about Dr Yehuda’s work on psychedelic psychotherapy: The Center for Psychedelic Psychotherapy and Trauma Research And don’t forget to check out Rachel Yehuda’s Publications.  JUMP STRAIGHT INTO(03:01) - Her earliest memory of grief(07:27) - How different cultures see death and grief, and how to express empathy and compassion with actions rather than words (20:55) - Making space for emotions in early grief(25:20) - Acknowledging your own grief so that you can be present and supportive for others when a loss occurs. (35:29) - The process of grief - moving on without letting the past take away your future  (44:21) - The impact of grief and the importance of meaning making STAY CONNECTED FOR MORE GRIEF SUPPORTSubscribe to the podcast on your favorite platform so you don’t miss an episode. If you love the show, I’d love to invite you to leave a rating and write a review on Apple PodcastStay up-to-date on the podcast including behind-the-scenes scoop by signing up for host Lisa Keefauver's Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter.If you’re feeling social, connect with the host on all your favorite social channels too. @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver