Fur Steak

I tried to make a Christmas song. The more i listen, the less i like it.LYRICS:I'm not gonna yell at my kids todayunless they do something i don't likeit's christmas timei'm not gonna do amphetaminesunless i get really really tiredi'm christmas highAnd when it feels like i don't have much to giveThere's one thing i can give to youIt's the gift of givingUp.I'm not gonna talk about politicsunless i wanna start a fight with my family at the dinner tableit's christmas dinnerI ain't gonna drink no alcoholunless i've got some emotions i'm not completely prepared to processchristmas (CHRISTMAS!) woohAnd when it feels like i don't have much to giveThere's one thing i can give to youIt's the gift of givingUp.I'm gonna give my father something nice this yearmaybe some singing lessons, or some therapySo he can learn to manage his anger problemsAnd unrealistic expectations of what life should be.Or maybe just some cool socks.I promise not to be a total shit this yearwe'll eat us a wicked dinner, and make a decent toastPappa's gonna wear his Nicholas Cage track suitAnd we'll hug all of the people that we love the mostexcept for that stinky cousinAnd when it feels like christmaschristmasthere's one thing i can christmasit's the gift of christmas.up.

This show has won no awards and probably won't. But there will be:music, and ants, and heaven,and sudoku, and stuff like that.

let's see...guns.cats. dogs. humans that lack the dignity of cats and dogs. kayaking.ghost hunting in the age of "dear god, you can't actually be this stupid."surprisingly little yelling.recorded before Kirk was shot, released well after. not changing a thing.Todd

I'm back!tiger woods et al.i barf radioprideful bbq

Still aging, so that's good, right?Language: a little learning is a dangerous thing.I forget what else is in this episode, but it probably ain't good.

Easter.The Spa.Drunk DMs to (former) neo-nazis.Drunk emails to toilet manufacturers.America losing its goddamn mind

I talk.The Ivory Gates.I talk a little bit more.

Murder Fantasties.Vaguely Political MisgivingsFinding Inspiration Somehow (RIP Gift Of Gab)