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Finally, The Meaning of Life
Is eye contact acceptable on public transport?
This week, Mark and Dave explore the great unspoken tension of modern life: How much eye contact is socially acceptable on a bus or train?
Is it zero? Is it constant, unblinking, predator-level staring?
Is it… the start of a lifelong romance? Or a police report?
In this wildly derailed episode:
– Dave reveals his “commuter toolkit” (spoiler: it’s sinister)
– Mark invents the world’s most impractical dating method
– One of them suggests newspapers made of one-way glass
– And both accidentally reinvent blind dating… but with no talking, looking, or moving
If you’ve ever made awkward eye contact on the tube and then spent the rest of your journey thinking about it—this episode is for you.
#FunnyPodcast #BritishHumour #EyeContactRules #CommutingFails #PublicTransportLife #SocialAwkwardness #ComedyPodcast #PodcastClips #FinallyTheMeaningOfLife #ModernLifeIsWeird
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33. Is a Hot Dog a Sandwich
21:46||Season 1, Ep. 33It's the question tearing society apart: Is a hot dog technically a sandwich? In this episode, Mark and Dave dive deep into the bread bin of philosophy to settle one of the internet’s most ridiculous — yet surprisingly heated — debates.Along the way, things escalate... fast. There's talk of the Hot Dog Council, mustard-based weaponry, and a dangerous confession from Dave that could get him banned from every sandwich shop in the UK.🧠 Who knew sausages in buns could reveal so much about power, fear, and loyalty?🎙️ Featuring: – The truth about open sandwiches – Dave's suspicious allegiance to the Hot Dog Council – Mark's brave stand against condiment-based threats – Why your local greasy spoon might be a front for sandwich resistance📍 If you've ever argued over food definitions or just want to hear two men unravel over lunch meat, this one's for you.#IsAHotDogASandwich #ComedyPodcast #PhilosophyPodcast #FunnyDebates #FoodDebates #HotDogCouncil #SandwichWars #BritishHumour #FinallyTheMeaningOfLife #PodcastClips #AbsurdQuestions #InternetArguments #HotDogVsSandwich
32. Destroy The Clocks! A funny look at time
24:22||Season 1, Ep. 32What if we just… got rid of clocks? ⏰💥 In this rebellious episode of Finally, The Meaning of Life, Mark and Dave launch a full-scale assault on one of civilisation’s greatest inventions: timekeeping.From missed coffee dates and phone-induced stress to controlling relationships and clock tyranny, the pair argue that it’s time to cancel time. Along the way, they accidentally invent a new society, insult wristwatch wearers, and suggest that all meet-ups should now be arranged via vibes only.🔥 Highlights include: – Dave’s shocking time-control confession – Mark’s utopia where everyone shows up “whenever” – A campaign to outlaw watches and alarm clocks – Existential breakdowns. Possibly yours.📍If you’ve ever looked at the time and felt deep dread, this episode is for you. 📍If you haven’t — you’re already living in the future. #DestroyTheClocks #FunnyPodcast #TimeIsAnIllusion #AntiClockClub #BritishHumour #PhilosophyComedy #ComedyPodcast #MarkAndDave #FinallyTheMeaningOfLife #PodcastClips #ExistentialHumour
31. Dabber or Shaker? Which Man are You?
23:44||Season 1, Ep. 31Dabber or Shaker? Which Man Are You? 🚽 | Finally, The Meaning of Life PodcastThis week, Mark and Dave boldly go where no podcast should — into the heart of the male urinal experience.💦 Should you dab?💦 Should you shake?💦 Should you pretend this episode never happened?In a world where philosophy meets plumbing, the duo debate toilet habits, the evolution of public urinals, and what a man’s “technique” says about his soul. Along the way, they propose government reform, insult the art world, and accidentally traumatize each other.In this episode:– The public trough: a forgotten horror– The etiquette of urinal spacing– Dabbers vs shakers: a personality test?– Why Dave is now banned from making hand gestures– And how Marcel Duchamp made this all art somehowWarning: Contains absurd metaphors, social commentary, and unexpected emotional damage.#DabberOrShaker #FunnyPodcast #BathroomDebates #BritishHumour #ComedyPodcast #MaleEtiquette #WeirdButTrue #UrinalEtiquette #FinallyTheMeaningOfLife #PhilosophyMeetsToilets
29. Is Cereal Soup?
24:38||Season 1, Ep. 29This week, Mark and Dave risk it all by tackling the truly divisive question: 👉 Is cereal actually a type of soup? It starts as a quick breakfast chat… and spirals into a full-blown philosophical meltdown involving gazpacho, Weetabix bricks, political soup factions, custard conspiracies, and the real reason you should never trust a Frostie.In this episode: – Dave tries to argue that cereal is soup. – Mark tries to stay sane. – Custard is dragged into the debate. – And the phrase “are soup lovers fascists?” is uttered. (Yes, really.)💡 Ever wondered why Weetabix could build a house? 💡 Want to know how many ways Dave can avoid admitting he’s wrong? 💡 Need to hear a grown man call another man “slippery” over gazpacho?Then this episode is for you.#CerealVsSoup #FunnyPodcast #FoodDebate #BritishHumour #ComedyPodcast #WeetabixLogic #PhilosophyOfBreakfast #PodcastClips #AIQuestions #FinallyTheMeaningOfLife
28. Book Vs Movie - Which is Best?
24:47||Season 1, Ep. 28This week, Mark and Dave tackle the age-old debate: Is it better to read the book or just watch the movie? Or, in Mark’s case, neither — and in Dave’s case, maybe both, unless he brings up Snow White for no reason again.Expect:– Unnecessary tangents (trifles, French cinema, and Paul McCartney lyrics)– Philosophical takes on why movies aren’t just lazy books– Open endings vs happy endings– And at least one failed attempt at being profound💡 Why do people always say, “The book was better”?💡 Do they really mean it — or just want to sound clever?💡 Is the movie ever actually better than the book?This is one of those episodes where the hosts get lost halfway through, keep digging, and accidentally unearth something quite smart under the nonsense.#BooksVsMovies #TheBookWasBetter #FunnyPodcast #MovieDebate #ComedyPodcast #FilmVsFiction #PettyPhilosophy #FinallyTheMeaningOfLife #BritishHumour #BookSnobs #MovieLovers #PodcastClips
27. Dogs Vs Cats - Which are Best?
24:28||Season 1, Ep. 27It’s the fluffiest philosophical comedy showdown yet: Cats or Dogs – who’s truly man’s best friend? In this episode, Mark and David wrestle with loyalty, aloofness, and the deeply personal politics of pet ownership.Mark argues that cats are sleek, mysterious Zen masters who don’t need your approval. Dave, on the other hand, believes dogs are devoted, noble creatures who don’t care if you’re a mess — they’ll still love you. The debate spirals into tales of childhood betrayal, questionable gift-giving by pets, and the psychology of purring vs panting.💡 Are cats just housemates who don’t pay rent?💡 Are dogs the emotionally needy flatmates you can’t evict?💡 What do smoked salmon and emotional trauma have in common?🐾 This isn’t just about pets. It’s about who we are, who we love, and why we keep letting things lick our faces.#dogsvscats #catsvsdogs #comedypodcast #doglovers #catlovers
26. Re-Gifting - Clever or Cruel?
25:24||Season 1, Ep. 26🎁 We all know someone who does it. Maybe you've done it yourself. But... is re-gifting actually wrong? This week, Mark and Dave wrestle with one of the great modern moral dilemmas: if you pass on an unwanted present, are you being practical—or just plain heartless?From Prosecco bottles doing the rounds, to vintage t-shirts with suspicious stains, and even wedding gift strategies that feel more like criminal plots, this episode dives deep (perhaps too deep) into the shame, the lies, and the occasional usefulness of re-gifting.🎧 Expect:– A role-play gone hilariously wrong– Dave’s scandalous Prosecco confession– Mark’s inability to throw anything away– Tips (or warnings?) for your next birthday present😬 Warning: May cause you to question every gift you’ve ever received.📩 Subscribe for more philosophical nonsense (and occasional wisdom) every week.#Regifting #PodcastComedy #GiftGuilt #FunnyPodcast #MeaningOfLife #BirthdayFails #EthicsOfGifting #ShouldYouRegift #ProseccoShame #PhilosophyMeetsChaos #ComedyPodcast
25. The Pettiest Fight Ever - Where To Squeeze Toothpaste
24:45||Season 1, Ep. 25Is there a right way to squeeze your toothpaste? This week on Finally, The Meaning of Life, Mark and Dave go head-to-head on one of the most divisive bathroom questions of all time: do you squeeze from the bottom, or the middle?Dave argues for physics, efficiency, and moral hygiene righteousness. Mark argues for chaos, mischief, and the thrill of the unexpected squeeze. Along the way, things spiral into toothpaste pumps, marital sabotage, the psychology of brushing habits, and the revelation that Dave counts his toilet paper squares. Yes, really.🎙️ Expect:Toothpaste tube technique debatesSpontaneity vs. structurePea-size portions and Marrowfat philosophyA shocking bathroom confessionFashion advice for Erling Haaland (again)It’s the podcast that explores life’s big (and ridiculous) questions with comedy, curiosity, and a dangerously low level of dignity.👉 Subscribe for more funny, philosophical nonsense every week.#ToothpasteDebate #ComedyPodcast #FinallyTheMeaningOfLife #ToothbrushEtiquette #BathroomPhilosophy #MarrowfatPeas #SpontaneityVsStructure #LifeQuestions #BritishComedy #PodcastClips