Share

cover art for ADHD House Hacks Part 2: Chores and Mental Load

AuDHD Podcast for grownups: F Them Fish!

ADHD House Hacks Part 2: Chores and Mental Load

Season 2, Ep. 69
•

Do you feel like managing a household with ADHD means being the one who remembers everything?

Callie is back for House Hacks Part 2, with practical home organisation ideas for a neurodivergent house, from visible chore charts to a last-minute gift box. There’s also an honest look at the mental load when you’re the person keeping the systems running.

It’s ADHD Awareness Month, the ADHD is ADHDing, and we might get better.


Welcome to AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish, with your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. This week, Callie is flying solo, sharing her experience as an AuDHDer, neuroinclusion specialist, and parent in a blended family.


In this episode

  • Tiny tasks, endless side quests: When the three-minute Nike rule becomes half an hour of little jobs, and giving yourself permission to stop.
  • Getting everyone involved: Shared shopping lists, reminders, and what happens when people stop using the system.
  • The last-minute gift box: Preparing for the birthday party you remember approximately 30 minutes before it starts.
  • Chore charts with clarity: Making expectations visible and explaining what finished actually means. Apparently, vacuum downstairs needs more detail.
  • Needs versus wants: Making family spending priorities visible, with the adults subject to the same system. Yes, sometimes you will hate your own rules.
  • The hidden mental load: Why a tidy outcome doesn’t necessarily mean the system is working for the person holding it all together.
  • Neuroinclusion at home: Bringing Callie’s 5Cs Model for Neuroinclusion© into family life: Clarity, Capacity, Culture, and Conditions, led by Compassion.


These are things we’re trying in an actual house, with actual humans who don’t always want to do chores. Some help a lot. Some need changing. The shoes are still in front of the shoe rack.


Start with something that regularly causes friction. Pick one small change, design it with the people who’ll use it, and see how it goes. You’re allowed to adjust it.

Pop us on as a body double while you tackle a manageable job, or just keep us company.


Catch up on Part 1

Episode 65: House Hacks: ADHD Organisation & Reducing Cognitive Load


Mentioned in this episode


Come tell us what works in your house

Send us your house hacks, questions, and the systems that spectacularly failed. We want to hear those too. What helped, what didn’t, and who’s doing the remembering?

Email: fthemfish@gmail.com

Find us on YouTube and Instagram at AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish

Website: https://executivefunctioning.com.au/

LinkedIn: Callie Elward-Barrett | Jayne Gurton


Follow the show so you don’t miss an episode. If this one sounds like your household, send it to someone who lives there. Ratings and reviews are always appreciated too...5 stars are the only stars!


Occasional swearing. We share lived and professional experience. Different households need different things, so use what helps and adapt it to your people.


We acknowledge the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung, and Dja Dja Wurrung peoples, the Traditional Custodians of the lands on which we live, work, and record. We pay our respects to Elders past and present, and extend that respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander listeners.

More episodes

View all episodes

  • 71. ADHD in Women: Resilience after a late diagnosis

    42:40||Season 2, Ep. 71
    Welcome to AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish. This ADHD Awareness Month episode features late-diagnosed ADHD women Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton discussing neurodivergent burnout, self-trust, and resilience when a toxic workplace decides you are the problem.Do you feel like you went from capable to suddenly being considered the problem without actually changing? What does resilience look like when you can’t simply wait for the difficult bit to end and ‘bounce back’? Callie shares the personal story behind her approach to resilience. As a senior executive, she was supported after her ADHD diagnosis, until a change in leadership brought a very different response.For Callie, three personal anchors help: feeling that what she does matters, finding joy for its own sake, and choosing to contribute to change. Remember, being harmed doesn’t make fixing the problem your responsibility.Hello, hello, and welcome! We are your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. We talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, identity, and all the things we wish someone had explained earlier. Take us along as your body double while you tackle the washing, go for a walk, or get through that task you’ve been avoiding.Inside the Episode:ADHD disclosure at work: Navigating toxic workplace environments, assumptions about executive dysfunction, and internalised blame.Late-diagnosed ADHD in women: Handling midlife transitions, masking, and the intense pressure to keep performing.Overcoming ADHD burnout: Why external validation matters when you struggle to trust your own worth.Reclaiming self-trust: Finding purpose in small interactions, and experiencing joy without needing to justify it.Workplace mistreatment: Choosing a different version of success on your own terms, including leaving an environment that keeps hurting you.Plus: Bedazzled ballet flats, celebrant Jayne, neurodiversity conference adventures, and the ‘ADHDacity’ of believing you could absolutely do someone else’s job.Content note: Swearing, workplace mistreatment, severe emotional distress, references to past dark thoughts, and childhood adversity. The most emotionally intense discussion is around 14:08-22:32. The practical reflection on what helps begins at 27:06.Timestamps00:00 Intro and welcome01:22 Bedazzled ballet flats04:51 Callie’s ADHD conference adventures12:39 When the room decides you’re the problem13:13 What does resilience actually mean?14:08 ADHD disclosure and a change in workplace support17:45 Internalised blame and rethinking ‘bouncing back’20:31 When you’re struggling but can’t talk22:32 Childhood, ambition, and refusing other people’s limits27:06 Feeling that you matter: purpose and external validation31:09 Joy for yourself, and choosing to be part of change35:49 Letting go of ‘back to normal’36:53 Your ADHD doesn’t make you the problem37:52 Keeping your ambition and defining success for yourself39:40 Listener reflections and staying connected40:47 Jayne’s Ballarat drag bingo What helps you feel that you matter? What brings you joy? Email us your stories, questions, or a different perspective - we want to hear it.Follow the show, share this episode with someone who needs it, and leave a rating or review if our conversations help you feel less alone. We might get better!Connect with usEmail: fthemfish@gmail.comFind us on YouTube and Instagram at AuDHD for Grownups: F Them FishWebsite: https://executivefunctioning.com.au/LinkedIn:Callie: https://www.linkedin.com/in/callie-elward-barrett-263068142Jayne: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayne-gurton-This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung, and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples. We acknowledge their continuing connection to Country and pay our respects to Elders past and present.This episode shares lived experience and personal reflections, not individual medical or psychological advice.
  • 70. ADHD Strengths: What We LOVE About Our ADHD Brains

    43:32||Season 2, Ep. 70
    Do you feel like every conversation about ADHD focuses on what's difficult? For ADHD Awareness Month, we're flipping the script and celebrating what we genuinely love about our ADHD brains.This week we're celebrating ADHD strengths: the joy of tangential conversations, seeing connections others might miss, creative problem-solving, boundless curiosity, empathy, and the audacity to question ‘but we've always done it this way.’Callie celebrates ambition, reinvention and recognising her own capabilities. Jayne brings crowns, crafting, chaos and the joy of exploring new interests. Together, we explore what makes our brains wonderful, without pretending that ADHD is always easy or that every ADHDer experiences it the same way.Hello, hello, and welcome to AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish with your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton! We're talking grown-up life, ADHD, autism, relationships, work and everything in between, with honesty, humour and plenty of side quests. Let's get started!In this episodeTangential conversations, ADHD friendships and finding your peoplePattern-spotting, cognitive flexibility and creative problem-solvingEmpathy, diplomacy and understanding different perspectivesCuriosity, hyperfocus, hobbies and finding joyJustice sensitivity and the ADH-Dacity to challenge conventionCareer reinvention, confidence and staying ambitious after diagnosisOur Mardi Gras announcement and upcoming appearancesTimestamps00:00 Welcome, besties! It's ADHD Awareness Month03:00 Getting older, self-acceptance and AuDHDacity05:45 ADHD chaos, crowns and the Diva Den11:45 Could we start a body-doubling community?15:20 Tangential conversations and ADHD friendships18:30 Connecting dots and creative problem-solving19:20 Cognitive flexibility and different perspectives21:35 Empathy, diplomacy and We might get better!23:30 Creativity, curiosity and glorious rabbit holes26:20 Hobbies, experimentation and finding joy28:40 Passion, justice sensitivity and ADH-Dacity32:25 Reinvention, ambition and recognising our strengths37:00 BIG NEWS Announcement!38:30 Where to meet us this October41:00 Never stop exploring or becomingJoin the conversationWhat do you genuinely LOVE about your ADHD brain?We'd love to hear your ADHD joys, strengths and stories.We're also exploring an affordable body-doubling and Q&A community where we can hang out with our besties. Would you be interested? Help us shape the idea!Interested in marching with WILD at Sydney Mardi Gras 2027? Get in touch to find out more.Mentioned in this episodeNSW ADHD Conference – 18 October 2026: Callie's session, Neurodivergent Women: Resilience Without Shrinking. https://www.trybooking.com/au/event/1517967Piano Bar Ballarat – 22 October 2026: Drag Bingo, where Jayne will bring her Mardi Gras sparkle. https://www.pianobarballarat.com.au/whats-onThe NeuroQueer Engineers: Miss Behave (Pride 2026). https://music.amazon.com/albums/B0H664LKD8ADHD Awareness Month workplace sessions: https://executivefunctioning.com.au/Connect with usFollow, rate and share the podcast with someone who needs a little ADHD joy in their life.We acknowledge the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung and Dja Dja Wurrung peoples, the Traditional Custodians of the lands from which we record, and pay our respects to Elders past and present.Our conversations reflect lived experiences and perspectives, not medical or diagnostic advice.We might get better!
  • 68. AuDHD Burnout or Simple Tiredness: Are You Running on Empty?

    33:43||Season 2, Ep. 68
    Do you feel like you’re constantly low on spoons? Are even the things you want to do feeling like effort? Does working out what might help sound like another job you don’t have the energy for? You’re not alone. Hit play to sit with two friends who get it.This week, Callie and Jayne talk about waking up with nothing in the tank, switching between professional and social roles, and making space for recovery when you still don’t feel recovered. From the background radiation of world events to financial stress and information overload, we explore the modern pressures that can leave neurodivergent brains entirely fried.In this episode, you’ll find:We share things we personally find helpful, including noticing what we want less of, and choosing one manageable next stepLow demand comforts, including rediscovering favourite musicBasket date night… Dopamining - salt and vinegar Cheezels, house-system wins, and a particularly inappropriate suggestion for finding lost belongingsAsking for professional and personal support when exhaustion persists.We might get better. But today, we’re starting small.Interested in having Jayne as your wedding celebrant? Email fthemfish@gmail.com, and we’ll connect you.Timestamps00:00 – Theme tune and welcome 02:50 – Do you feel constantly low on energy? 03:35 – Snack fixations and dopamining 05:39 – Can a timer keep us on track? 08:01 – Jayne’s new job, weddings, and the cost of switching roles 11:26 – Making time for recovery but still feeling depleted 13:36 – House systems that work for who you are - we might get better 16:54 – Basket date night: Unf*cking the household clutter together 18:05 – A very inappropriate lost-items strategy from Tom Cardy 19:44 – Feeling underwater and blurred vision 20:49 – When working out what you need feels like another job 22:56 – AuDHD Burnout and invisible effort 24:25 – World events, feeling unsafe, and the cost of living crisis 26:14 – Starting with what you don’t want 28:08 – Sleep, familiar music, and small comforts 29:39 – Finding just one manageable next step 31:16 – Time’s up: staying connected 32:37 – Producer’s note: seeking help and sharing the recovery loadMentioned in this episodeTom Cardy — H.Y.C.Y.BH?: the lost-items song from our side quest. Explicit language.Find our earlier house-systems episode: in your podcast feed.Healthdirect: Fatigue: further information about persistent tiredness and seeking support.Connect with usWe are a 100% independent podcast with no corporate backing or production company. If this episode felt like a warm hug, please follow, rate, or share it with another neurodivergent adult who needs to hear itEmail Us: Send your questions, stories, feedback, and small wins to fthemfish@gmail.com.Socials: Search AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish on TikTok, Instagram, or YouTubeCallie’s Info: Explore executive functioning coaching, keynotes, and workshops at Executive Functioning Leadership Callie on LinkedInJayne on LinkedInAcknowledgement of CountryThis podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung, and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples. We pay our respects to Elders past and present, and recognise their continuing connections to Country, culture, and community.Lived-experience noteWe share personal experiences and general discussion, not medical or psychological advice. ‘Low spoons’ describes limited energy or capacity, it is not a diagnosis. Persistent exhaustion, difficulty recovering, or changes in vision deserve professional assessment rather than assumptions about their cause. As Callie’s closing note reminds us, you don’t have to manage recovery alone.Contains occasional explicit language and adult humour.
  • 67. Autistic, Queer, and Doing Life My Way. With Yenn Purkis

    55:36||Season 2, Ep. 67
    Autism, queer identity, ambition, and building a life on your own terms. Author and advocate Yenn Purkis joins us for an honest conversation about their experiences and the expectations they’ve refused to live by.Welcome to AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish, with Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton, your neurodivergent besties talking adult ADHD, autism, and the stuff nobody explains about grown-up life.This week, Yenn Purkis joins us in the Nook, bringing spectacular rainbow hair, a love of cats, and a remarkable willingness to share the difficult parts of their story alongside the joy.Yenn talks about receiving an autism diagnosis in prison, being misunderstood within mental health services, and finding support that helped them imagine a different future. They describe the steps towards university, a 17-year public service career, writing books, and a home they love, alongside the continuing reality of living with schizophrenia.We get into ambition, the limits other people place on us, and why asking for help can be complicated when independence matters deeply. We also compare our responses to motivational advice and question where protection, challenge, and resilience meet.Then we explore the joy of recognising your identity. Yenn shares their experience of coming out as non-binary and asexual, choosing their name, and finding people who understood. Expect swearing, side quests, and a Podcat determined to join the conversation.Content noteStrong language and discussion of incarceration, bullying, trauma, drug use, psychiatric hospitalisation, schizophrenia, suicide risk, and discrimination.In this episodeAutism diagnosis, misdiagnosis, and Yenn’s experiences of prison and mental health services.Finding hope, accepting support, and taking the next step towards change.Ambition and questioning other people’s assumptions about your capabilities.Support that respects boundaries and autonomy.Our different experiences of motivation, resilience, and discomfort.Non-binary and asexual identity, coming out, and becoming Yenn.Writing for autistic children and discovering how much those books mean to readers.Yenn’s books and websiteYenn Purkis’s biography and websiteYenn’s books at Woodslane HealthYenn also mentions their books with Lived Places Publishing. Contact Yenn through their website or social media to enquire about their newsletter or signed copies.A note from usWe share lived experience, professional perspectives, and personal reflections. This conversation is not individual medical, psychological, or workplace advice. Our ideas about autism, motivation, and resilience are exploratory, not established explanations of how everyone’s brain works. People’s circumstances, barriers, and support needs differ. Expect swearing, disagreement, and ongoing learning.Join the conversationSend your stories, questions, ADHD taxes, guest ideas, and feedback to fthemfish@gmail.com.Find us on YouTube and Instagram at AuDHD for Grownups: F Them FishCallie's Website: https://executivefunctioning.com.au/LinkedIn: Callie: www.linkedin.com/in/callie-elward-barrett-263068142 Jayne: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayne-gurton-Follow or subscribe so you don’t miss an episode, and leave us a five-star review if the pod makes you feel understood, entertained, or slightly less alone.This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples. We pay our respects to Elders past and present, and extend that respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander listeners.
  • 66. ADHD and the Social Media Neuroscience Trap

    01:09:25||Season 2, Ep. 66
    Is internet pop-science lying to you? In this episode of AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish, Callie and Jayne dismantle ADHD and the social media neuroscience trap to find out what the research actually says. Does visual clutter actually break the ADHD brain, or is social media overhyping the science? Real scientific studies get twisted into confident, viral social media claims about ADHD, clutter, stress, and working memory. We break down what the research actually measured, where the online interpretations stretch the truth, and how to balance competing sensory needs in shared spaces, because Callie needs a minimalist, clear space to think, while Jayne thrives in a cozy, dopamine-filled environment.Hit follow to join two AuDHD grownups as they debunk pop-neuroscience and figure out whose neurodivergent home wins. In This Episode:Why feeling validated makes us less likely to question internet claims.What visual-processing studies actually tell us about clutter.The real link between uncompleted tasks, stress, and laundry piles.Why useful brain metaphors aren’t empirical proof.How to negotiate shared spaces.Unmasking, mutual consideration, and whose accommodations get prioritised.Timestamps:00:00 Welcome back, Jayne04:38 Your house hacks and the big-light dispute06:04 When a neuroscience post feels almost too validating07:29 Jury duty12:48 British passport rant19:44 The post that started it all23:05 How do we know which neurodivergence content to trust?28:36 Overstating the evidence30:13 Research timelines36:51 Taking laboratory findings into everyday life38:14 Can your brain ignore clutter?40:10 The Yale study42:29 Unfinished tasks and open-tabs analogy44:58 Clutter & cortisol, the 2010 study46:56 The 501-person study48:56 Does visual clutter make working memory shrink?52:18 Validation or pressure54:13 Competing sensory needs and shared spaces58:20 Who gets overlooked in Autism1:02:21 Checking citations1:06:02 Your house hacks Research:These sources give context for our discussion on scientific interpretation and are not interchangeable evidence about ADHD or autistic people.Visual Clutter Study (Yale, 2024): Yale Research Link (Neural activity in macaques, not humans in messy homes).Clutter & Cortisol Study (Saxbe & Repetti, 2010): No Place Like Home Study (Correlated home descriptions with mood, did not establish causation).Home Clutter & Wellbeing (Quinn, 2025): ScienceDirect Link (Survey of 501 adults on perceived clutter and home beauty).Visual Attention Cortex (McMains & Kastner, 2011): JNeurosci Link (Research on visual competition, not working-memory).Unfinished Work Meta-Analysis (Wendsche et al., 2026): PubMed Link (Thoughts about work outside of working hours).Zeigarnik Effect Review (Ghibellini & Meier, 2025): Nature Link (Questions whether unfinished tasks enjoy a memory advantage).Original Instagram CarouselGhibellini and Meier’s 2025 review of the Zeigarnik and Ovsiankina effects adds context to the open-tabs discussion. Join the Conversation:Send us your house hacks, your big-light stance, or a claim you’d like us to investigate!Email: fthemfish@gmail.comSocials: Find us on YouTube and Instagram at AuDHD for Grownups: F Them FishCallie’s Website: https://executivefunctioning.com.au/LinkedIn: Callie: www.linkedin.com/in/callie-elward-barrett-263068142Jayne: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayne-gurton- If you enjoyed this episode, please follow the show and leave a rating or review to help other neurodivergent grownups find us!Disclaimer & Acknowledgements:We share lived experience, professional perspectives, and our own interpretations of research. This conversation is not medical advice. Expect mild swearing and ongoing learning.We acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the lands from which we record: the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung, and Dja Dja Wurrung peoples. We pay our respects to Elders past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander listeners.
  • 65. House Hacks: ADHD Organisation & Reducing Cognitive Load

    44:21||Season 2, Ep. 65
    The answer to forgetting, losing things, laundry chaos, and food going mouldy in the fridge isn't to simply try harderIn this solo episode, Callie (a neuroinclusion specialist and coach) takes you inside the practical neurodivergent home systems her family uses to reduce cognitive load, support executive dysfunction, and make a multi-brained household easier to live in. You don’t need a perfectly organised, picture-perfect home, it’s about systemic changes in your environment so your brain doesn't have to work so hard.Drawing on her background in systems thinking, behavioural insights, and neurodivergence, Callie explains how small environmental tweaks can reduce your reliance on working memory, help with task initiation, and smooth out daily transitions.Enjoying the show? Please hit follow/subscribe and leave a review to help other AuDHD grownups find us! In This Episode:The Neurodivergent Fridge: Why fresh food is banned from the bottom drawersLaundry Hacks: And the ongoing mystery of SOCKMAGEDDONVisual Cues & Labels: Making the physical environment do the remembering for youThe Nike Rule: Managing clutter and visual load without getting overwhelmedSensory-Friendly Lighting: Designing spaces around activities and different sensory preferencesHousehold Infrastructure: Turning charging cables into permanent fixtures and creating functional transition and landing zonesThe Octo-pissoff-opus: An orange octopus with a very important jobExternalising Time: Strategies to combat time blindnessTakeaway: When a routine repeatedly fails, start asking whether the environment or system can be redesigned to better support the humans using it.Timestamps00:00 - Episode introduction: Callie flying solo00:40 - Inside a neurodivergent household07:00 - Identifying friction points and designing new systems10:02 - Making your environment do the remembering10:38 - Labels, storage, and giving items a home14:06 - Managing clutter, visual load, and disappearing Post-it notes18:03 - The three-minute Nike rule19:48 - Putting the solution exactly where the task happens20:03 - Laundry baskets, SOCKMAGEDDON, and natural consequences23:00 - The coat hanger hack for clothing management25:27 - The receipt drawer: Delaying decisions until they matter26:45 - Transition spots and attaching tasks to existing journeys27:52 - Out of sight, out of mind: The fridge drawer problem29:19 - Garage zones, storage categories, and dancing skeletons30:06 - Designing rooms around activities31:34 - Sensory lighting and Callie's controversial love of the big light33:12 - Meet the Octo-pissoff-opus34:20 - Charging cables as household infrastructure36:33 - Landing zones and handling systems that only partly work38:04 - Externalising time to manage executive dysfunction38:36 - Weekly planners, meal planning, and shared shopping lists40:54 - Annual planning and the bigger picture41:51 - Should Callie come back for Part 2?Share Your Systems With Us!Do you have a home system that genuinely changed your life, or a friction point you just can't seem to figure out? We want to hear about it!Email us: fthemfish@gmail.comInstagram, TikTok, & YouTube: @AuDHDforGrownups_FThemFishCallie’s Website: https://executivefunctioning.com.au/Connect on LinkedIn: Callie Elward-Barrett: www.linkedin.com/in/callie-elward-barrett-263068142 Jayne Gurton: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayne-gurton- We talk about neurodivergence from our own lived and professional experiences. Neurodivergent people are not a monolith, a system that works brilliantly for one person might be useless for another. Use what helps, ignore what doesn't, and change the system when it stops serving you. We acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the lands on which we live, work, and record, including the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung, and Dja Dja Wurrung peoples. We pay our respects to Elders past and present and recognise that sovereignty was never ceded.
  • 64. What is AuDHD Rage Exactly? Big Feelings, Sensory Overload, and Joy

    59:51||Season 2, Ep. 64
    What does AuDHD rage actually feel like? And is anger even the right word for it?In this episode of AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish, Callie and Jayne dive into the reality of emotional intensity in adult ADHD, autism, and AuDHD. If your neurodivergent nervous system goes from completely fine to ABSOLUTELY NOT due to sensory overwhelm, a meltdown, or sudden anger, you’re not alone.This isn’t an episode about neurodivergent people being angry, because if the difficult emotions hit hard, neurodivergent joy is just as loud.We explore why conversations about adult neurodivergence and emotional regulation focus so heavily on rejection sensitivity, frustration, and dysregulation while overlooking enthusiasm, awe, excitement, love and the glorious kind of joy that makes you want to kick your feet because there are king parrots in the garden.We also tackle a tough question: when does validating an emotion help us move through it, and when does validation accidentally trap us in rumination?In this episode:The myth of ADHD rage vs. what the research supportsEmotional reactivity and rapid mood shifts in adult ADHDSensory overload, panic, and the fight/flight responseWhy anger can feel saferAutistic communication, flat affect, and being mistaken for angryVenting, passionate speech, and how it impacts people around usExploring the neurodivergent window of toleranceRumination vs. validation: finding your logical brain againThe joyful side of neurodivergent emotional intensityFinding your tiny, ridiculous, wonderful sources of joyMetacognition, anxiety, and learning to trust your intuitionPattern recognition, dating choices, and ‘Deb’Timestamps:00:11 Welcome, chest pops, and absolutely no normal02:34 Today’s topic10:28 What we mean by neurodivergent rage12:12 Why does research focus heavily on negative emotions?15:42 Late diagnosis, and finding the joy again18:06 Suggestibility, self-talk, and changing your story20:41 Validation versus rumination: moving through it25:39 Is ADHD rage a real thing?27:03 Autistic flat affect, passionate speech, and being misunderstood29:02 When one person recovers quickly and the other doesn’t31:01 Sensory overwhelm, panic, meltdowns, and rage36:35 Nervous-system reactivity and emotional intensity38:14 The neurodivergent window of tolerance40:42 When your joy is too much42:18 Rage, frustration, passion, and the full emotional range45:29 Squishmallows, parrots, and finding joy47:31 Listener question: intuition, anxiety, and Deb51:28 Confirmation bias in dating patterns55:40 Are we sometimes too busy being nice to help each other grow?59:04 See you next week, Besties!A quick note:ADHD rage is not a clinical diagnosis. This conversation combines research-informed discussion with our own lived experience of ADHD, autism, and AuDHD. It isn’t medical or mental health advice, and neurodivergent people are every bit as varied as everyone else.Acknowledgment:We acknowledge the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung, and Dja Dja Wurrung peoples, the Traditional Custodians of the lands from which we record and pay our respects to Elders past and present.Connect with us:Email: fthemfish@gmail.comSocials: Find us on YouTube and Instagram at AuDHD for Grownups: F Them FishCallie's Website: executivefunctioning.com.auLinkedIn: Callie: www.linkedin.com/in/callie-elward-barrett-263068142 Jayne: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayne-gurton-About the Show:AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish is all about real conversations for late-diagnosed adults navigation adult ADHD, autism, AuDHD, neurodivergent relationships, work, emotional regulation, sensory overwhelm, and figuring out your brain as a grown-up. 
  • 63. Are Neurodivergent People More Intuitive?

    01:05:07||Season 2, Ep. 63
    Are Neurodivergent People More Intuitive?Why do so many autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD people describe simply knowing something before they can explain why?In this episode of AuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish, Callie and Jayne dive deep into the neuroscience and lived experience behind neurodivergent intuition. We unpack the thin line between a true gut feeling and trauma-informed hypervigilance, exploring how our brains process the world around us.In This Episode:The Neuroscience of Intuition: How rapid processing and predictive processing create unconscious knowing.Pattern Recognition vs. Hypervigilance: Distinguishing genuine intuition from anxiety, trauma responses, and rejection sensitivity.The Body Connection: The vital role of interoception and what a literal gut feeling means for an AuDHD brain.Masking & Self-Trust: How years of social monitoring and masking cause us to override our own internal signals.Are We Psychic?: A lighthearted look at why neurodivergent people frequently joke about having a sixth sense.Timestamps00:00 – Welcome04:03 – Big changes for Jayne07:35 – Callie's Melbourne adventures and Dame Jacinda14:54 – What do we mean by intuition?20:11 – Is there neuroscience behind intuition?22:10 – Jayne's journey back into her body and trusting herself25:45 – Spirituality, skepticism, and understanding intuition28:31 – ADHD, hypervigilance, and taking in ALL the information34:13 – Autism and enhanced pattern recognition39:36 – Predictive processing: Is the brain predicting what comes next?42:10 – Interoception and the literal gut feeling48:37 – Hypervigilance, trauma, intuition, or anxiety?50:35 – Masking and learning not to trust yourself55:32 – Are neurodivergent people psychic?1:00:30 – A practical way to investigate your intuition1:02:34 – Listener questions & Callie’s shameful unreleased episode vault Hello, hello, and welcome!We are your neurodivergent besties, Callie Elward-Barrett and Jayne Gurton. We talk about neurodivergence in real adult life: work, relationships, burnout, identity, and all the things we wish someone had explained earlier.This podcast was created on the lands of the Ngunnawal, Wadawurrung, and Dja Dja Wurrung Peoples.Disclaimer: This episode shares lived experience and general discussion of research, neurodivergence, trauma, fibromyalgia, somatic practices, and wellbeing. It is not medical or psychological advice. Connect With UsEmail: fthemfish@gmail.comSocials: Find us on YouTube and Instagram at AuDHD for Grownups: F Them FishCallie’s Website: https://executivefunctioning.com.au/Callie on LinkedIn: Connect with CallieJayne on LinkedIn: Connect with JayneAuDHD for Grownups: F Them Fish is a podcast about adult ADHD, autism, AuDHD, neurodivergence, executive functioning, masking, burnout, relationships, work, identity, and figuring out grown-up life with a differently wired brain.