The Don't Buy Her Flowers Podcast

Steph talks with Dr Kirren Schnack, Clinical Psychologist and author of Ten Times Calmer, a book with tools to help beat anxiety. The conversation starts by understanding what anxiety is, what happens when we’re anxious, what are the triggers and what is happening to our nervous system. They discuss the impact having children can have on anxiety, and with the festive season around the corner, they also talk about how to avoid Christmas anxiety.Steph and Kirren then chat about some of the basics for good mental health, plus Dr Kirren talks through some of the tools to help bring some calm.This episode is sponsored by The Indytute, handpicked experiences all tried and tested by another female founder, Calypso Rose. Use the code Steph10 for 10% off via www.indytute.com Ten Times Calmer: Beat Anxiety and Change Your Life by Dr Kirren SchnackKirren’s websiteKirren’s InstagramSteph’s InstagramDon’t Buy Her Flowers Christmas Gift Guide

Recorded Live at the Henley Literary Festival, Steph interviews Louise Boyce AKA Mama Still Got It, Gill Sims and Clara Batten live from a Town Hall full of women out for a Friday night! Join them as they discuss the rollercoaster of motherhood - the first year of being a mum, identity, holidays with kids, the PTA, and Louise’s gross middle-of-the-night payback on her husband. Expect some swearing, some drinking and a touch of raucous. This episode is sponsored by Ancient + Brave, who create pure, potent and sustainable supplements, and are offering 20% off with the code DBHF20 Louise’s Instagram and book Gill’s Instagram, Facebook and book Clara’s Instagram, Tik Tok and bookSteph’s InstagramFor future Henley Literary Festival eventsDon’t Buy Her Flowers Christmas Gift Guide

Ahead of the release of her new book, Clinical Psychologist Dr Karen Gurney returns to the DBHF podcast after her previous episode about sex in long term relationships became the most downloaded to date, resulting in at least two pregnancies (that we know of!) and Steph received hundreds of messages from women and couples that felt huge relief in what Karen said about desire in long term relationships. Now Karen, AKA The Sex Doctor, has written a book specifically for parents - How Not to Let Having Kids Ruin Your Sex Life - out in April 2024. Steph and Karen talk about how tiredness, distraction, lack of time and the mental load affect sex lives, and Karen describes the ‘storm’ that children often bring to a relationship. They talk about the different impacts of new babies, primary school age kids and teens. Karen and Steph also discuss spontaneous vs responsive desire and the idea that it is normal to never feel spontaneous desire in a long term relationship. Karen also explains how key it is to understand the different role sex plays for individuals, communicating better about sex, and offers advice and practical ways to maintain (or bring back) sexual connection, particularly when there is no time.  Karen’s first episode on the DBHF podcast on Apple or Spotify Karen’s Instagram How Not to Let Having Kids Ruin Your Sex Life, out in April 2024 and available to pre-order now Karen’s first book Mind the Gap  Eve Rodsky’s book FairPlay Darcy Lockman’s book All the rage: Mothers, Fathers and the myth of equal partnership Steph’s Instagram Thoughtful gifts www.dontbuyherflowers.com This episode is sponsored by Ancient + Brave, a new generation of sustainably sourced collagen, blends and supplements with targeted health benefits. Use the code DBHF20 for 20% off any product on their website 

Steph chats with broadcast LEGENDS Fi Glover and Jane Garvey about their move after thirty years (each!) from the BBC to Times Radio, where they host a radio show and the Off Air podcast.  Fi and Jane describe how they found juggling a broadcast career with small children, with Fi owning that hers ‘ground to a halt’ for a period, but that she now has a job she loves that may not have been where she’d have ended up without the career break. They discuss phones, teenagers, teenagers with phones, the impact of Perimenopause, Tweakments and what advice they’d give to their 35 year old selves. Most of all, they offer HOPE to women in the rush hour feeling overwhelmed - there is good stuff to come in the future.  Thank you to sponsors Ancient & Brave, a new generation of sustainably sourced collagen, blends and supplements. Listeners can get 20% off orders with the code DBHF20 on their websiteTimes Radio (Jane & Fi are on air 3-5pm, Monday to Thursday)Off Air Podcast with Fi and JaneJane & Fi’s InstagramSteph’s InstagramThoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers

In this episode we're looking back at a brilliant episode with Helen from January 2022...Steph talks with bestselling author, journalist and speaker Helen Russell about how and why so many of us try to bury sadness, and the harm that causes.After eight years of researching happiness, Helen realised that most of us desperately want to avoid sadness, but all the experts have said we can’t, so we need to work out how to be sad, better. Helen and Steph talk about grief, infertility, perfectionism, anorexia, men and sadness, and a whole lot in between. Helen’s websiteHelen’s InstagramSteph’s Instagram

Steph chats with brilliant comedian Kelly Convey about motherhood; it’s all very fresh for Kelly as she has had two babies with a fifteen month gap, her second still only seven months old. Steph and Kelly discuss those early months of motherhood, flashing the postman, feeling annoyed with your partner and navigating advice from others. Kelly talks about baby group blunders and making mum friends (or not!).  As a stand up, they discuss the pros and cons of Kelly being back onstage supporting Alan Carr three months after having a baby, trying to find balance between work and babies, and how she feels that becoming a mum has helped her comedy and connection with the audience. This episode is sponsored by HotTea Mama, makers of delicious, organic, award-winning, whole leaf teas specially designed to support women’s wellness. Get 20% off with the code DBHF20 at hotteamama.com Kelly’s TikTokKelly’s websiteKelly’s InstagramSteph’s InstagramThe Don’t Buy Her Flowers updated Create a New Mum Gift Box

Steph talks with writer and speaker Brigid Schulte about Overwhelm, where it comes from and what we can do to rally against it. Brigid brilliantly uses research and history to understand how we got here, and reassures that when it feels hard, it’s because it is. Brigid explains why women feel they don’t deserve free time, why we feel we have to ‘excel’ at motherhood and importantly, what all this pressure and juggling does to women’s physical and mental health, careers and relationships. They discuss how women find it difficult to live in the moment because of the volume of roles and responsibilities they’re juggling, how children coming along makes the imbalance even more difficult, and the societal expectations that impacts men and women trying to find a better balance. And Brigid offers some advice on how to turn down the volume on it all, and advises we all need to ‘let that shit go’ Brigid shares what she’s learned as a journalist at The Washington Post, author of ‘Overwhelmed’ (2014) and the Director of Better Life Lab at New America,  the work-family justice and gender equity program at New America, a nonpartisan think tank. Thank you to Naturalmat for sponsoring this episode, handmakers of organic beds and mattresses, and DBHF podcast listeners can get 15% off with the code DBHF15 Brigid’s book ‘Overwhelmed – How to work, love and play when noone has the time’.Brigid’s TwitterBetter Life Lab at New America Brigid’s InstagramSteph’s InstagramThoughtful Gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers 

Psychotherapist Siobhán Murray talks with Steph about Burnout. Originally coined in the 1970s to describe an occupational phenomenon, recent decades have seen an increase in people experiencing burnout as we’re ‘nearly always switched on’. Siobhán and Steph talk about why this is, what makes women in the Rush Hour susceptible to burnout, and the signs and symptoms to identify it. Siobhan goes into ideas on how to manage burnout, and gives some detail on the tools that will help, which are explained in her book The Burnout Solution, a step-by-step 12 week plan. This episode is sponsored by HR consultancy HR Star, who want to reinvent the poor reputation of HR. Visit http://www.hr-star.co.uk/ for more information and quote DBHF for 10% off their People Strategy Session.  The Burnout Solution by Siobhán Murray Siobhan’s websiteSiobhan’s InstagramSteph’s Grazia article on The Rush HourSteph’s Instagram https://www.instagram.com/steph_dontbuyherflowers/?hl=en