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Conversations with Annalisa Barbieri
Understanding the Impact of Child Sexual Abuse with consultant psychiatrist in psychotherapy Dr Jo Stubley
This is not an easy subject, but a necessary one, especially when you hear the statistics on child sexual abuse. Many children don't understand what's happening to them and often can't talk about it until they are way into adult hood and what they perceive to be a 'safe place'. The impact, as we see in this episode, can be life long and pernicious.
I talk to consultant psychiatrist in psychotherapy Dr Jo Stubley who leads the adult section of the trauma service at the NHS Tavistock Centre. Jo is a member of the British Psychoanalytic Society and also took part in our trauma episode in series one (do listen to this if you haven't already). We talk about what grooming is, how to look out for it (an abuser grooms not just their victim but often the whole family), how to look out for signs that your child may be experiencing abuse and if you're a survivor of non recent child sexual abuse we hope you can find something in this episode to make you feel less alone.
I care about all the CSA letters I get sent but, for the first time ever, I tell my childhood friend's story, which explains why this subject is so close to my heart.
Organisations that can help:
Napac is the National Association for People Abused in Childhood; it has a helpline (0808 801 0331) and lots of information on its website about how to access support. It’s where I refer all my readers who write in to me who have been affected by any form of non recent child abuse.
There's also the NSPCC for help and information and Childline (helpline 0800 1111) for children experiencing any form of abuse.
The Lucy Faithfull Foundation is the only UK-wide child protection charity dedicated solely to preventing child sexual abuse, they work with all those affected by abuse, including the abuser and they run the Stop It Now helpline: 0808 1000 9000.
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6. Anxiety in the Young with psychotherapist Alison Roy
46:55||Season 10, Ep. 6One of the things I've noticed in recent years is the rise of anxiety in the young. What do I mean by young? Around secondary school age 11-18/19. It's not, as I say in this episode, that younger children don't get anxious, or that older adults don't - we know they do. But this is the age they start writing in to me at The Guardian with their worries about anxiety. Adolescence, as has been discussed in previous episodes (see The Teenage Brain with Rachel Melville-Thomas) is a very particular time with brain development in overdrive, starting to separate out from your parents and family (a necessary developmental stage) and, well, life. There's a lot to think about and worry about. But there's also a lot to look forward to.In this episode I talk to child and adolescent psychotherapist Alison Roy about why our young people may be anxious and what we can do about it. In the paid version on Substack (see below) there is a second part to this podcast, where I interview my youngest and she gives us a teen-eyed view of anxiety which I think is fascinating.If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 (2025 rates) a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free.You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.
5. Finding Joy with Professor Morten Kringelbach
01:01:09||Season 10, Ep. 5This episode is quite heavy on the neuroscience, which is one of my favourite subjects and it was recorded in person, in Oxford. I'm in conversation is with Professor Morten Kringelbach, Professor of Neuroscience at Oxford University, director of the centre for Eudaimonia and Human Flourishing, a fellow of Linacre College and Professor of Neuroscience at Aarhus university in Denmark. I first met Morten in 2024 when I went to Oxford to interview him for a piece I was writing for the Guardian on Anhedonia, which is the inability to feel pleasure, which you can read here. Professor Kringelbach and I talk about what joy is, why it matters, what brings us most joy and why seeking pleasure for the sake of it is often a road to displeasure and addiction. We also touch on depression and psychedelics. Real, proper, lasting joy doesn’t really exist by itself, it has to have context and that context often means other people. And to experience real joy in life we need a purpose. I ended my anhedonia piece saying something I discovered like a bolt of lightning researching it and I stand by it: the meaning of life is that it has to have meaning. That’s really the root of finding joy. You can learn more about Professor Kringelbach and his work here.If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 (2025 rates) a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free.You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.
4. How to Make Friends with Chris Mills
50:36||Season 10, Ep. 4As the years have gone by I've noticed a real shift in the sort of problems I get and friendship is a subject which is rearing its head again and again now. From young people to old the question is: how do I make friends? Making friends at school may not seem natural but you are forced together with others of the same age, giving you a natural pool from which to pick (although it may not seem like that). After institutionalised education, especially if you don't go on to university and work from home..people can start to feel adrift. Where do they start making friends? How? The truth is most people struggle with this as making friends, and keeping them, requires confidence and resolve and well, hard work. In this episode with regular conversationalist, Chris Mills, much to the joy of his fan club is back and we talk all manner of friendship.If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 (2025 rates) a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free.You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.
3. Siblings with Catherine Carr
01:01:34||Season 10, Ep. 3The sibling podcast in series one remains the most listened to of all the Conversations with Annalisa Barbieri podcasts. So it seemed only right to re-visit this with a Sibling 2.0 episode. In this episode I’m in conversation with award winning radio presenter, producer and author, Catherine Carr. She’s writing a book about siblings to be published in spring of 2026 which is as yet untitled. Catherine reported for, and produced Woman's Hour for BBC Radio 4, before going freelance to make documentaries and podcasts.I’ve known her for a few years and find her weekly podcast called Where are you going, a fascinating snapshot of every day life.She’s worked on many other excellent projects including the podcast Relatively (which springboarded her Sibling book) which was all about the sibling relationship and last year she produced and presented a five part series about teenage boys for Radio 4 called About the Boys. Why are siblings so fascinating? In this episode we discuss favouritism, how siblings get given labels (the "sporty" one the "organised" one) from which they often find it hard to escape, why each sibling has its own unique history of growing up in the same family and...we also talk a little bit about only children. Plus lots more. It's a really fascinating listen. If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 (2025 rates) a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free.You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.
2. Facing Adversity with Professor Lucy Easthope
56:42||Season 10, Ep. 2In this episode Lucy and I discuss how to do hard things, such as face adversity. Much as we all like to believe in an Enid Blyton [insert whichever imaginary world brought you comfort as a child] world the reality is often very different. We talk about Professor Lucy Easthope's new book: Come What May, Life-Changing Lessons for Coping with Crisis which looks at this very subject. Lucy and I are also in conversation in previous podcasts talking about her book When The Dust Settles (and how to plan) and her very personal journey in the episode about Baby Loss.Lucy is the UK's leading authority on disaster recovery. She's been an advisor for pretty much every major disaster in the last 20 years. She has a degree in Law, a PhD in medicine, and a Master's in Risk Crisis and Disaster Management. She's a Visiting Professor in Mass Fatalities and Pandemics at the University of Bath and a Research Associate at the Joint Center for Disaster Research at Massey University in New Zealand.Here we talk about how to face up to difficult times, when telling the truth is necessary and healing but also when to use the Good Lie. Lucy uses her considerable experience in helping us to cope with crises big and small.If you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 (2025 rates) a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free.You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.
1. Should I have a(nother) baby? with psychotherapist Julia Bueno
41:33||Season 10, Ep. 1Welcome back! This is episode 1 of Series 10. Here I'm in conversation with UKCP registered psychotherapist and author Julia Bueno (who joined us in Series 4 talking about the Inner Critic, so do have a listen to that one, too).I get a lot of letters asking either 'should I have a/nother baby' full stop or 'I want one/another one but my partner doesn't'. Julia and I explore what issues come up around this question, what those issues can tell you about yourself, your partner and your relationship and how to go about dealing with them. We also explore going it alone - and whilst we can't tell you what to do, we suggest questions you can ask yourself and things to think about that may help you get there. It's a huge question and one that deserves a lot of thought.Julia has a particular interest in our reproductive lives, her first book The Bring of Being explored the varied experiences of miscarriage. Her second book was called Everyone’s a Critic and explored our own self criticism. Find out more about her: juliabueno.co.uk, Instagram: @julia_bueno_therapist.Everyone’s A CriticThe Brink of BeingIf you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 (2025 rates) a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free.You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.
6. Womb Life. Life before we are born with psychotherapist Graham Music
56:58||Season 9, Ep. 6This podcast was inspired by Graham Music's book of the same name, Womb Life which is the best book on pregnancy I've ever read.Graham and I talk about the secret life of twins in the womb and how their observed behaviour (via ultra sound) can translate to life outside the womb, too. Why did one little boy shake all his toys? What was he looking for? Do babies really cry in the womb? We find out in this episode.What can affect a foetus? How much does stress and nutrition matter? Does it matter if your grandmother was stressed whilst she was pregnant with one of your parents?How and why do some of the baby's cells end up in the mother way after birth?I found this a fascinating episode and Graham's book (which is a strong recommend) goes into even more detail and scientific research.If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free. Plus subscriber exclusive newsletters.You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.Find out more about Graham and buy his books: https://nurturingnatures.co.uk/
5. The Parentified Child with psychotherapist Lisa Bruton
36:29||Season 9, Ep. 5In this, the penultimate episode of Series 9, I talk to UKCP accredited psychotherapist Lisa Bruton who is also a guest tutor at the University of Oxford. We talk about the Parentified Child. Which is? A child who has been given too much responsibility - either physical or emotional - too young. The impact of this is interesting. Do you often find yourself being the most responsible person in the room? Do people look to you for advice (ahem) and guidance? It may be because you are used to performing this role, from way too young. Parentified children can grow up to be exhausted adults. Who looks after them? And why the phrase "my child is my best friend" gives Bruton and I pause.In this episode we look at what exactly being a parentified child looks and feels like, from both the child and adult’s POV. What you can do if you recognise yourself as one and how to avoid doing that to your own children. More about Lisa here: https://www.lisabruton.comIf you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free. Plus subscriber exclusive newsletters.You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.
4. Hope and Loss with psychologist and psychoanalyst Dr Stephen Blumenthal
50:09||Season 9, Ep. 4In this episode, an idea suggested by my conversationalist, clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst Dr Stephen Blumenthal, we explore the big, painful emotion of loss.We tend to body swerve feeling or thinking about loss, and who can blame us? It hurts, it’s horrible. But loss is essential to growth - think of a snake shedding its skin. In order to go onto the next stage we need to leave the one we’re at.But there’s normal loss such as leaving school or a job, and traumatic loss where everything comes at once, like an unexpected or early death or devastating news. This takes far longer to process. Note: process not get over.The loss I’ve noticed most people don’t want to talk about is death, dying, illness and the accompanying grief and yet, as Dr B tells us, if it’s managed ‘well’ post traumatic growth can be rich. But where would loss be without hope? There has to be hope to make loss’s losses easier to bear. Have a listen and be kind to yourself if you find this tough.If you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a Substacker: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/. From £5 a month or £50 a year you'll get access to all new podcasts as soon as they are available and before general release and ad-free. Plus subscriber exclusive newsletters.You can also support us by sharing this podcast far and wide, it's available wherever you listen to your podcasts. And leaving a review if you can. Thank you so much.Produced by Hester Cant. Art work by Lo Cole. Music by Toby Dunham.