Clementine Ford's Big Sister Hotline
Big Sister Hotline: S02E13 Feat. KAREN PICKERING
CN: This episode contains discussion of sexual assault and rape, homicide and vigilantism.
Hello there everyone! I've tinkered with the format of the show this week, quite by accident. However, it turns out I like the tinkering and I'm curious to know what you think about it. New format might look something like this: Intro, followed by a short segment called SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT in which my guest and I unpack something that's widely accepted as being standard or traditional but is probably pretty indefensible when it comes down to it, and then a much longer and meatier segment talking about a more specific issue. This might be something that's happened in the news that week or something we've read about or an idea we've had or even the particular specialty of the guest in question (for example, in Aja Barber's episode we would have devoted this segment to discussing her work around fashion and sustainability). Finally, each episode will end with a very short segment on something that's bringing joy or working positively in the world.
My guest this week is hotline regular, KAREN PICKERING. She's a feminist and a community builder, and is currently writing her third book THE MOTHER OF ALL SHOCKS, a book about the industry of motherhood and all the ways we are being failed by it while encouraged to enter it. She's one of my besties! Here's how the episode looks:
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: Karen used to work at the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages, and we talk here about the cultural practice of women changing their names after marriage to men. Why is this still happening? Where does it come from? And why is 'choice' such an illusion?
THE MEATY MIDDLE: There's a heavy content note for this segment, because the topic is pretty full on. A tiktok popped into my feed the other night, featuring a man who spent 19 and a half years in prison. The reason he first entered the system (and stayed in it, as so often happens with the prison industrial complex)? When he was 12, he murdered another boy in his neighbourhood as an act of retaliation for the boy sexually assaulting his sister. What disturbed me about the tiktok was both in how unrepentent he still was about the crime and how enthusiastically so many of the comments supported him. It struck me as a really good example of how sexual assault and rape is only seen as real or legitimate if men take it on themselves to avenge women - because when women come forward with their own testimonies of this violence, we are so often disbelieved and further abused, with urgings to reconsider 'destroying' a man's life. Karen and I have a long discussion here about vengeance, testimony and who gets to be championed in situations like this. We touch on 'Promising Young Woman', the Brock Turner rapist trial and the documentary series, 'I'll Be Gone In The Dark'.
POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME: Finally, in the joyfulness close out, Karen and I talk briefly about Ted Lasso and the immense pleasure this show is giving so many people. It's such a wonderful exploration of community and kindness, and it dissects toxic masculinity so well while demonstrating what POSITIVE masculinity looks like!
Don't forget to let me know what you think of this format!
Follow Karen on Instagram: @karenpickering
LIFELINE: 13 11 14
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And Just Like That, a special crossover episode01:01:38In this special crossover episode between Big Sister Hotline and Cherchez La Femme, lifelong friends Clementine Ford and Karen Pickering have a gasbag in Clem's kitchen. Topics covered: middle age and why it's powerful to embrace it; the first two episodes of And Just Like That and why revisiting cultural icons from times past can be so deeply cringeworthy; and their respective Best Of lists for 2021.Hey, let us know if you like this episode and would like to see more of Karen and Clem in this format! Karen's details:Instagram/FB: @karenpickeringPodcast: Cherchez La FemmeClementine's details: Instagram: @clementine_fordFacebook: @clementinefordPatreon: www.patreon.com/clementinefordEmail: firstname.lastname@example.org
14. Big Sister Hotline: S02E14 Feat. LAURA NAGY59:36This week, I talk to filmmaker, podcaster and story doula, LAURA NAGY. Laura's most recent work is a podcast series on Audible. When Laura experienced a bad break up, she turned to the world of ASMR and 'partner experiences' to find comfort. What she didn't expect to encounter was her own healing from past sexual experiences. This week's episode focuses on:SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: Portugal has recently announced it will make it illegal for employees to be contacted by employers outside of work hours. What does this mean for workers in creative industries, and could such a thing ever be implemented? We discuss the recent shooting death of Halyna Hutchins on the set of RUSH and the general expectation that crew members eat shit and be grateful for it.THE MEATY MIDDLE: ASMR and the world of partner experiences, plus how these pursuits can help people to navigate sexual consent and their own past experiences of trauma. THE JOYFUL BIT: Laura talks about her fondness for 90s' TV dramas.You can find Laura's website here: http://lauranagy.com/about-1And her podcast here: https://www.audible.com/pd/Pillow-Talk-Podcast/B09GKZZ5DCFollow Laura on Instagram: @l.a.u.r.a.n.a.g.yYou can buy Clementine's latest book here: https://booktopia.kh4ffx.net/doLP93ssFeedback/Question submission: email@example.comPatreon: www.patreon.com/clementinefordInstagram: www.instragram.com/clementine_ford(And remember, if you like the show then please consider rating and reviewing it and subscribing!)
12. Big Sister Hotline: HOW WE LOVE EXCERPT56:38CN: This episode contains very fleeting references to body image, eating disorders and fatphobia. It is the recollections of a teenage girl.Welcome to a very special episode of the hotline! This week's episode features just me, reading an excerpt from my SO SOON TO BE RELEASED book, How We Love: Notes On A Life!Remember the insecurity of adolescence? The pain of unrequited love? The school dance, where you hope for it to all come together only to have it spectacularly crash? It's all right here in this chapter, 'The Queen Of Cool'. Come with me as I take you back to 1996 and a little country town just outside of Adelaide, where a caftan-wearing, bargain jazz CD listening Clementine is about to learn some formative lessons about who she is and what she's worth.If you enjoy audiobooks, you might be pleased to know that the audio version of HOW WE LOVE is being released by Audible Australia. I've read the whole thing (and worked with sound producers who can create a much higher quality than today's podcast, to be fair) and I can't wait for you to listen to it! I don't think it's available for pre-order yet, but as soon as it is I will post the link in these notes.In the meantime, you can pre-order the print version of HOW WE LOVE from Booktopia!Normal programming of the hotline will resume next week, but I hope you've enjoyed this excerpt.Thanks as always to my wonderful supporters at Patreon, and also to my podcast hosts Acast.Feedback/Question submission: firstname.lastname@example.orgPatreon: www.patreon.com/clementinefordInstagram: www.instragram.com/clementine_ford
11. Big Sister Hotline: S02E11, Feat. LAUREN LATELY01:05:31Hello, and welcome to the Big Sister Hotline! We’re back this week with the wonderful LAUREN LATELY! Lauren is a public servant and book lover who lives in Canberra on Nunnawal Country, and she’s become prolific in the fight against health misinformation in a Covid era. Lauren and I talk here about vaccines (WHICH WE LOVE), the scourge of wellness women and toxic positivity, and the use of social media to build communities. From little sisters, we answer questions about feeling insecure and judged by our peers, and why we need to rethink words and concepts like ‘classy’.You can follow Lauren here:Instagram: @lauren.latelyFeedback/Question submission: email@example.comPatreon: www.patreon.com/clementinefordInstagram: www.instragram.com/clementine_ford(And remember, if you like the show then please consider rating and reviewing it and subscribing!)
10. Big Sister Hotline: S02E10, Feat. RACHEL MCPHAIL01:06:16CONTENT NOTE: This episode contains discussion of racism, colonisation, and reference to Aboriginal deaths from Covid. There is also a question that relate to stalking and threatening behaviour.Hello, and welcome to the Big Sister Hotline! I took a break last week because I was recording my audio book (HOW WE LOVE, out on November 2!) But I’m back this week, and joined by the very wonderful RACHEL MCPHAIL! Rachel is a proud Gomeroi woman and activist, whose campaign to establish a database of First Nations place names in addresses very quickly became one of the most popular petitions on Change.org.In this episode, Rachel talks about the importance of preserving the knowledge of Aboriginal elders, and deferring to Aboriginal leadership. We discuss how systemic change is possible if we just have political will. From Little Sisters, we answer questions about how to overcome heartbreak (with no small amount of help from Taylor Swift), and how patriarchy has conditioned girls and women to see relationships as being the thing that completes them rather than something that complements their life. We also address a question about concerning behaviour from a wannabe male suitor. You can follow Rachel here:Instagram: @place_names_in_addressesFeedback/Question submission: firstname.lastname@example.orgPatreon: www.patreon.com/clementinefordInstagram: www.instragram.com/clementine_ford(And remember, if you like the show then please consider rating and reviewing it and subscribing!)#placenamesinaddresses#systemicchange#firstnationsvoices#identity#taylorswift#heartbreak#maleentitlement#feminism#podcast#rachelmcphail#clementineford#bigsister#bigsisterhotline
9. Big Sister Hotline: S2E9, Feat. YVES REES01:05:47CONTENT NOTE: This episode contains discussion of gender dysphoria, transphobia and a brief reference to eating disorders.Hello, and welcome to the Big Sister Hotline! We’re coming to you from Melbourne, home of lockdowns, riots and earthquakes! It is a very strange time to be alive!!!What has made it easier this week is reading the BEAUTIFUL new memoir “All About Yves: Notes From A Transition”, by the extraordinary Dr. Yves Rees. At the age of 30, Rees became aware that they were trans. Their memoir is a stunning journey through identity, self awareness and how one can strive to ‘live the questions’ in their life. In this episode, we talk about the power of trans narratives, trans joy and how disrupting regressive ideas of gender is liberating for humanity as a whole. We also address a question from a listener who is questioning their gender identity, and how disrupting hierarchies of power is reflected in gender diverse and non conforming people. This is a joyful episode!You can follow Dr. Rees here:Instagram: @yves_reesTwitter: @yvesreesFeedback/Question submission: email@example.comPatreon: www.patreon.com/clementinefordInstagram: www.instragram.com/clementine_ford(And remember, if you like the show then please consider rating and reviewing it and subscribing!)#gender#genderdiversity#transnarratives#transjoy#transpeople#power#privilege#feminism#podcast#yvesrees#clementineford#bigsister#bigsisterhotline
8. Big Sister Hotline: AJA BARBER01:04:44Hello, and welcome BACK to the Big Sister Hotline! I’ve been on hiatus for a few months, partly because I was taking time off to finish my book (out on November 3!) and partly because of lockdown fatigue. But here we are, launching back into the hotline with enthusiasm and vitality! In this first episode back, I’m joined by the phenomenal AJA BARBER. She’s a writer, an activist and a content creator using her platform to campaign for true change in the fashion industry and its deplorable oppression of the global south, or as she would have it, the world’s ‘traditionally pillaged’ countries. Her Instagram video, ‘Why performative allyship is triggering’, which called out brands and influencers for monetising the BLM movement, has accumulated over one million views. In her debut book, “CONSUMED: On colonialism, climate change, consumerism and the need for collective change, she lays out an unimpeachable argument against supporting fast fashion and the brands who clog up the world’s waterways and landfills with it. It’s a horrifying and absolutely necessary read, and in this conversation we talk about the social imperative we face to undo the impact of this industry.Some facts discussed:* It takes 5000 gallons of water to make just one t shirt and pair of jeans - so how much water is wasted every year churning out clothes that are worn once or twice before being thrown away?* The millions of clothes we discard every year in op shops and recycling bins largely end up in landfill in the backyards of people in the Global South, or as she calls it, “traditionally pillaged countries”.* In 2018 alone, H&M recorded $4.3 BILLION of unsold stock. And to put that in perspective (and as Aja told me) the length of one billion one dollar notes laid out end to end would wrap around the earth four times - meaning the cost of unsold stock for just one fast fashion company in one year alone would wrap around the earth SIXTEEN TIMES.This is before we even talk about the inhumane abuse of garment workers, none of whom see even a smidge of the profits billionaires at the top accrue.You can follow Aja here:Instagram: @ajabarberFB: @karenpickeringPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/ajabarberFeedback/Question submission: firstname.lastname@example.orgPatreon: www.patreon.com/clementinefordInstagram: www.instragram.com/clementine_ford(And remember, if you like the show then please consider rating and reviewing it and subscribing!)
Introducing Everybody Knows02:49In November 2020, an Instagram account began to publish anonymous stories of harassment, abuse and assault in the Australian music industry.These were stories that journalist Ruby Jones had heard whispers about before. But when she started looking into them, she found that the allegations were much worse than she had thought, and that they were an open secret in the music industry. Everybody Knows is a new five-part podcast series from the makers of Australia's number one daily news podcast, 7am. Follow Ruby as she investigates what has held back the MeToo Movement in Australia, and whether this new wave of women speaking out could be the start of a true reckoning.