Beyond the Monsters

For our 100th episode and Suicide Prevention & Awareness Month, Chell shares one of the most difficult and personal stories she has ever told: losing her friend David to suicide. David was a successful businessman and philanthropist who was known for his generosity, but behind the life people saw, he was struggling with drugs, alcohol, and his mental health. When David reached out to Chell during a crisis in November 2017, she spent hours trying to keep him talking and convince him that what he was feeling was temporary. What happened over the course of that night would leave Chell carrying an experience she never could have prepared for.Chell opens up about witnessing her friend’s suicide, the guilt and questions she carried afterward, and the severe depression that followed. Having spent much of her career working in psychiatry and addiction, she struggled with the belief that she should have known what to do and ultimately stepped away from that work after his death. Nearly nine years later, Chell shares what this experience taught her about taking suicidal statements seriously, getting help when someone is in crisis, and the lasting impact suicide can have on the people left behind. More than anything, she shares David’s story in the hope that someone listening will check on the people they love and never assume that a cry for help shouldn’t be taken seriously.Resources:Suicide & Crisis HotlineCall or text 988Crisis Text Line741741Beyond the Monsters Socials:https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonsters Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and educational discussion. It is not medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your own care.Topic: Suicide Prevention, Mental Health, Complex PTSD, Substance Use Disorder, Loss & Grief 

LaRon shares his story of growing up in extreme poverty surrounded by addiction, violence, neglect, and abuse before entering the foster care system. After being placed in a foster home where he was starved, tortured, threatened with weapons, and made to eat from dog bowls, LaRon reached a point where he no longer wanted to live. In one of his darkest moments, music interrupted a suicide attempt and became something he could hold onto until he eventually returned to a foster mother who gave him the safety and unconditional love he had never known. LaRon opens up about being adopted, pursuing a career in music, and the ways his childhood trauma continued to follow him into adulthood, marriage, and fatherhood. After his marriage ended and the mother who adopted him unexpectedly died, LaRon found himself struggling again with grief, anger, and suicidal thoughts while trying to rebuild his life and remain present for his children. Today, he is confronting the patterns passed down through his family, navigating an ongoing fight to reunite with his youngest daughter, and using his music and story to turn what he survived into something that might give someone else hope.LaRon’s Links:https://www.instagram.com/iamlaronmusichttps://m.youtube.com/stevie3580?ra=mhttps://beacons.ai/iamlaronmusicLaRon’s Book: From My Test To My Testimonyhttps://a.co/d/0942q33mResources:Crisis Text Line741741RAINN24/7 confidential support, online chat & hotline 1-800-656-HOPESAMHSA’s National Helpline 1-800-662-HELP (4357)Beyond the Monsters Socials:https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonsters Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and educational discussion. It is not medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your own care.Topic: Foster care abuse, Child neglect, Childhood trauma, mental health, Generational trauma, Foster care system, Child welfare system

Ariel shares her story of surviving childhood SA, addiction, and years of struggling with her mental health before reaching a point where she attempted to take her own life. After six months of sobriety from alcohol, a difficult night became a breaking point, and Ariel survived a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the chest, an experience she describes as being followed almost immediately by regret and the realization that she wanted to live.In the years since, Ariel has had to confront not only the trauma that contributed to her attempt, but the physical and emotional aftermath of surviving it. She opens up about the impact on her son and family, her experiences within the mental health system, and the work it took to rebuild her life. Today, Ariel lives and works at Mattersville, a nonprofit wolf dog rescue that works with veterans struggling with PTSD, where caring for the animals and finding purpose within the community became an important part of her healing.Mattersville https://mattersvillevets.org/Resources:Crisis Text Line741741RAINN24/7 confidential support, online chat & hotline 1-800-656-HOPESAMHSA’s National Helpline (mental health and/or substance use)1-800-662-HELP (4357)Beyond the Monsters Socials:https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonsters Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and educational discussion. It is not medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your own care.Topic: Suicide Attempt Survivor, Mental Health Recovery, CSA, Complex PTSD, Alcohol Addiction, Suicide Prevention

Rhiannon Thoreson was 19 years old and washing her car in broad daylight when a stranger came up behind her, held a knife to her throat, and kidnapped her. He drove her to a remote area, where she was held for hours, repeatedly sexually assaulted, physically assaulted, and threatened with death. What followed was a years-long struggle with severe PTSD, suicidal thoughts, panic attacks, hypervigilance, shame, and the pressure to appear successful on the outside while privately struggling with what had happened to her.Rhiannon opens up about returning to college shortly after the attack, hiding how badly she was struggling from the people around her, and spending years in therapy as she learned how to live with the trauma. She shares how EMDR changed her experience with PTSD, why she stopped expecting herself to one day be completely “healed,” and how surviving the attack ultimately influenced her decision to attend law school and advocate for victims of crime. Rhiannon and Chell also discuss survivor guilt, forgiveness, restorative justice, and the complicated reality that a conviction and courtroom victory can hold someone accountable without necessarily bringing a survivor healing or closure.Rhiannon’s links:https://www.instagram.com/mybeautyfromasheshttps://linktr.ee/mybeautyfromasheshttps://rhiannonthoreson.comRhiannon’s TEDx Talkhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSV0IrT8eDARhiannon’s book: My Beauty from Ashes https://rhiannonthoreson.com/booksResources:Crisis Text Line741741RAINN24/7 confidential support, online chat & hotline 1-800-656-HOPESAMHSA’s National Helpline (mental health and/or substance use)1-800-662-HELP (4357)Beyond the Monsters Socials:https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonsters Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and educational discussion. It is not medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your own care.Topic: Kidnapping Survivor, SA Survivor, PTSD After Trauma, Trauma Healing, Stranger Abduction, True Crime, Crime Victim Advocacy

Fausto Castellanos shares his story of surviving childhood SA, grooming, addiction, and years of shame that left him questioning himself and searching for acceptance in relationships, substances, and the people around him. After being abused at 7 years old and again by an adult man while struggling with meth addiction at 14, Fausto spent years trying to outrun what happened to him, eventually reaching a point where his substance use, seizures, and suicidal thoughts left him believing he might not survive.Fausto opens up about finally asking for help, finding sobriety, and experiencing unconditional acceptance from a sponsor who helped him begin confronting the trauma he had carried since childhood. He also shares how becoming a counselor and helping others gave his pain a sense of purpose, but eventually forced him to confront another pattern: tying his worth to how much he could do for everyone else. Today, nearly a decade into his healing journey, Fausto has built a life around trauma recovery, addiction advocacy, mental health, and helping others find hope without abandoning himself in the process.Fausto’s Links:https://www.instagram.com/hopedealerfaustohttps://www.youtube.com/@HopeDealerFaustohttps://www.tiktok.com/@hopedealerfaustohttps://www.facebook.com/faustocastellanossResources:Crisis Text Line741741RAINN24/7 confidential support, online chat & hotline 1-800-656-HOPESAMHSA’s National Helpline (mental health and/or substance use)1-800-662-HELP (4357)Beyond the Monsters Socials:https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonsters Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and educational discussion. It is not medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your own care.Topic: CSA Survivor, Childhood Trauma, Grooming, Addiction Recovery, Trauma Recovery, Sobriety, Men’s Mental Health

Suzzette grew up in a family where addiction, mental illness, violence, and instability existed alongside a lot of love. Her father struggled with heroin addiction, her mother battled cancer and dissociative identity disorder, and much of what was happening inside their home became normal to her simply because it was all she knew. As a teenager, things reached a breaking point when her father and older brother were arrested, her mother disappeared, and Suzzette and her younger brother were left behind in a home that had been taken over by strangers.Years later, after losing her father, mother, and eventually her older brother, Suzzette began therapy and started looking back at her childhood with a completely different understanding. She had to untangle the complicated reality of loving her family deeply while also recognizing the ways their choices shaped her anxiety, relationships, coping mechanisms, and sense of what was normal. She opens up about the guilt she still carries over believing her father instead of her mother, the grief of losing so much of her family, and what it has taken to unlearn the patterns she grew up believing were normal.Suzzette’s Links:https://www.instagram.com/suzzettewriteshttps://msha.ke/suzzettewriteshttps://substack.com/@suzzettewritesResources:Crisis Text Line741741Beyond the Monsters Socials:https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonsters Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and educational discussion. It is not medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your own care.Topic: Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), Childhood Trauma, Parental Addiction, Generational Trauma

Shavon was just 11 years old when she woke up to find her mother and her mother’s ex-boyfriend dead after a murder-suicide that unfolded while she slept in the next room. She shares the trauma of discovering the scene, the warning signs she now recognizes as an adult, and how losing her mother shaped every stage of her life. Shavon and Chell discuss domestic violence, intimate partner homicide, childhood trauma, grief, PTSD, healing, family support, and the lifelong impact of losing a parent to violence. Shavon reflects on carrying her mother’s memory through adulthood, navigating profound loss after later losing her grandparents, and why sharing stories like hers can help others feel less alone. She also shares the powerful spoken-word poem she wrote about the night her life changed forever, honoring her mother’s memory while encouraging others to speak openly about trauma and survival. Resources:Crisis Text Line741741Beyond the Monsters Socials:https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonsters Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and educational discussion. It is not medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your own care.Topic: DV, losing a parent, true crime, childhood trauma, grief and loss

Angela Harger Thompson moved to Los Angeles to pursue her acting dreams, but soon after arriving, she was drugged, SAed, and strangled by a Hollywood producer who had offered her a job. Although she immediately reported the assault, underwent a forensic exam, and fully cooperated with law enforcement, prosecutors declined to file charges, leaving her to navigate the aftermath of SA, trauma, and a criminal justice system that offered no accountability.Hoping for a fresh start, Angela joined a sailing expedition across the Pacific Ocean just before the COVID-19 pandemic brought the world to a standstill. Stranded at sea for nearly 50 days before returning to a world in lockdown, she found herself trapped in an increasingly unhealthy relationship marked by emotional abuse, gaslighting, coercive control, and isolation. What began as an adventure quickly became another fight for her safety as years of harassment, legal battles, and a deeply personal documentary forced her to keep fighting long after reaching shore.Angela’s Links:https://www.instagram.com/messengeroftruthhttps://linktr.ee/angelahargerhttps://angelahargerproductions.comAngela’s Book - Worst Tits Ever:https://a.co/d/0ie9HuRBAngela’s Documentary - Quarantine at Sea: Trapped Halfway to Nowherehttps://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/B0D33BPJMN?ref_=atv_dp_share_cu_rResources:Crisis Text Line741741RAINN24/7 confidential support, online chat & hotline 1-800-656-HOPEBeyond the Monsters’ Socials:https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters/https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonstersDisclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and educational discussion. It is not medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your own care.Topic: SA, Coercive Control, Emotional Abuse, Gaslighting

Brandi Morey-Pols shares the story of her six-year-old son, Rowan, who was murdered by his biological father just days before a custody hearing that she hoped would finally bring him to safety. She recounts years of coercive control, stalking, emotional abuse, repeated warnings that went unheard, and the devastating failures of multiple systems that left Rowan unprotected despite mounting evidence and escalating concerns.Brandi and Chell explore what happens when coercive control is dismissed, warning signs are overlooked, and systems fail to recognize the danger children can face during custody disputes. Brandi also shares how honoring Rowan's life has become her purpose through the Rowan Project and Rowan's Promise, advocating for greater awareness of filicide, stronger protections for children, and legislative change aimed at preventing other families from experiencing the same unimaginable loss.Brandi’s Links:https://www.instagram.com/dollbb55https://therowanproject.org/https://www.facebook.com/brandi.brennan.3Resources:The Rowan Project - List of Resourceshttps://therowanproject.org/?page_id=1989Crisis Text Line741741National Domestic Violence Hotline1-800-799-7233National Child Abuse Hotline1-800-422-4453 – push 1 to talk to a hotline counselorBeyond the Monsters Socials:https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonsters Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and educational discussion. It is not medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your own care.Topic: filicide, family court failure, coercive control, domestic violence (DV), custody system failure, true crime