Beyond the Monsters

Amy shares her story of enduring nearly three decades of sexual abuse that began when she was just four years old. After her mother married her stepfather, the family moved overseas, where Amy says he began sexually abusing her and trafficking her to other men. As the abuse continued throughout her childhood, Amy struggled to understand what was happening, especially when the adults she depended on repeatedly failed to protect her. Despite telling her mother about the abuse on multiple occasions, Amy was met with denial, threats, and accusations of lying. At 32 years old, now a mother to three young boys, Amy reached a turning point that led her to confront her mother once again and end contact with her stepfather.Amy opens up about the lasting effects of childhood sexual abuse, the complicated relationship she maintained with her mother, and the ways trauma continued to affect her well into adulthood. She discusses her experiences with dissociation, self-harm, and dissociative identity disorder, along with the challenges of navigating relationships and motherhood while carrying the effects of her childhood. Amy also reflects on the difficulty of confronting experiences she had spent much of her life trying to survive, her decision to seek specialized trauma treatment, and the ongoing process of understanding how those experiences have shaped her life.Amy’s Links:https://www.instagram.com/goldielocks_and_brownbear_farmhttps://www.facebook.com/aim.lynn1Resources:Suicide and Crisis Lifeline988RAINN24/7 confidential support, online chat & hotline 1-800-656-HOPEBeyond the Monsters Socials:https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonsters Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and educational discussion. It is not medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your own care.Topic: Childhood SA (CSA), Mental Health, Childhood Trauma, Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

Morgan Berry shares her story of becoming a mother to identical twin girls, Bailey Grace and Ally, whose lives would be shaped by an incredibly rare genetic disorder. What began as a seemingly normal pregnancy and the challenges of caring for newborn twins quickly turned into years of unanswered questions as Morgan noticed developmental delays and unusual seizure activity in both daughters. After countless appointments, extensive genetic testing, and a search for answers that eventually led them to the National Institutes of Health, the girls were diagnosed with HECW2, a disorder so rare that very little was known about what their futures might look like. As their medical needs became increasingly complex, Morgan found herself navigating around-the-clock care, difficult decisions about their quality of life, and the constant uncertainty of what might come next.Morgan opens up about the emotional and physical toll of caring for her daughters, the complicated role her faith played throughout their illnesses, and the experience of adopting her son, James, from China while navigating an already overwhelming chapter of motherhood. She also reflects on being sexually assaulted during college, how that experience shaped her understanding of safety, intimacy, and relationships, and the ways unresolved trauma influenced the years that followed. Morgan discusses the pressure she felt to remain strong through her daughters' suffering, the difficult realities of making end-of-life decisions, and how years of living in survival mode affected her sense of identity. She also shares how her experiences with grief, trauma, and major changes in her personal life eventually led her to reevaluate what she believed about herself, her faith, and the life she wanted moving forward.Morgan’s Links:https://www.instagram.com/seedsandleavenhttps://www.allymorganb.comhttps://seedsandleaven.substack.comBeyond the Monsters Socials:https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonsters Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and educational discussion. It is not medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your own care.Topic: Child Loss and Grief, Rare Genetic Disorders, SA, Medical Trauma, Healing After Loss, Childhood Disability and Chronic Illness, Motherhood

Alicia shares her story of growing up in a close-knit Christian family, building a successful career in real estate, and entering a marriage that eventually left her feeling more like a roommate than a wife. After losing two of her closest friends and becoming estranged from the church community she had been part of for years, Alicia developed a friendship with an older, married man through their shared involvement in the horse racing industry. What began as a business partnership eventually turned into a four-year affair that left her struggling with secrecy, emotional dependence, and thoughts of suicide. Despite repeatedly trying to end the relationship, Alicia found herself caught between the man she had fallen in love with and the life she knew she could never openly have with him.Alicia opens up about the emotional toll of being the other woman, the guilt she carries for the people affected by the affair, and the years it took to finally break free. She discusses the turning point that led her to confide in her sister, seek counseling, and begin confronting the grief and shame she had been carrying in silence. Now the author of More Than a Secret: How a Mistress Broke Free from Her Affair, Alicia is sharing a perspective that is often left out of conversations about infidelity, while taking responsibility for her own decisions and acknowledging the pain they caused. Through her story, she hopes to reach others who feel trapped in similar relationships and show that it is possible to walk away, seek help, and rebuild a life beyond secrecy.Alicia’s Links:https://www.instagram.com/aliciabarrauthorhttps://www.facebook.com/people/Alicia-Barr-Authorhttps://aliciabarrauthor.substack.comhttps://aliciabarr.comAlicia’s Book - More Than a Secret: How a Mistress Broke Free from Her Affairhttps://a.co/d/01gIZFgpResources:Suicide and Crisis Lifeline988Beyond the Monsters Socials:https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonsters Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and educational discussion. It is not medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your own care.Topic: Shame and Guilt, Emotional Dependency, Infidelity, Extramarital Affairs, Toxic Relationships

Matt Griffin shares his story of spending more than two decades in the U.S. Navy and law enforcement and the experiences that would eventually change the course of his life. Early in his career as a police officer, Matt responded to the accidental death of his friend’s two-year-old son and was left carrying guilt over the belief that he should have gotten there sooner. As he continued his career, he became an undercover officer during the height of the opioid epidemic, immersing himself in a world that became increasingly difficult to separate from his life at home. Years of unprocessed trauma, drinking, the breakdown of his marriage, and the loss of a fellow officer and close friend to suicide eventually brought Matt to a point where he no longer wanted to live.On March 17, 2017, Matt wrote a suicide note and planned to take his own life at midnight. Less than an hour before, an unexpected phone call from a friend changed what happened that night, and Matt began making the decision to get through life one day at a time. He opens up about rebuilding after divorce, homelessness, and suicidal thoughts, his complicated relationship with alcohol, and the years he spent trying to become the person he was before everything happened. More recently, Matt traveled to Mexico for Ibogaine treatment as part of his continued search for healing and shares what that experience was like, why he no longer believes healing means getting his old self back, and how he is learning to build a life where what happened to him is part of his story without becoming all of it.Matt’s Links:https://www.instagram.com/authormatthewgriffinhttps://www.matthewagriffin.comMatt’s Book - The Journey to Midnighthttps://a.co/d/0aU4gl7RResources:Suicide and Crisis Lifeline988Beyond the Monsters Socials:https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonsters Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and educational discussion. It is not medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your own care.Topic: Undercover Police, Law Enforcement, PTSD, Opioid Epidemic, Mental Health, Loss & Grief

Sarah Hayes shares her story of growing up in a family where sexual abuse began at an incredibly young age and continued for years at the hands of her older brother. With the adults around her repeatedly failing to intervene, Sarah was left to grow up alongside abuse while also taking on a caregiving role with her youngest sister, Dani, who she describes as being like her own baby. Years later, Sarah would become Dani’s legal guardian while still trying to navigate the effects of her own childhood. What followed would leave Sarah carrying a devastating loss alongside the trauma she had already spent much of her life trying to understand.Years later, Sarah began writing about her experiences as a way to process what had happened, never expecting those pages to eventually become her book, Invisible Monster. She opens up about what ultimately pushed her to put her name and story behind it, the complicated reality of speaking publicly about abuse within your own family, and the emotional toll that came with telling her story. Today, Sarah is using what she survived to work with children who have experienced trauma, hoping to give them the encouragement and support she and her sisters needed when they were young.Sarah’s Links:Sarah’s Book - Invisible Monsterhttps://a.co/d/06wxNaIiInvisible Monster Etsy Shophttps://share.google/3rCBnchGRcq2TjIjhResources:Suicide and Crisis Lifeline988RAINN24/7 confidential support, online chat & hotline 1-800-656-HOPEBeyond the Monsters Socials:https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonsters Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and educational discussion. It is not medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your own care.Topic: Childhood SA (CSA), Suicide Loss, Childhood Trauma, Complex PTSD, Loss & Grief, SSA

Sonny Von Cleveland shares his story of being trafficked by his mother from the time he was three until he was twelve, surviving years of abuse, and growing up without the intervention or support he needed. As a child, getting into trouble became an unexpected form of safety, eventually leading him into the juvenile justice system and then prison at sixteen, where he was SAed during his first week. In the years that followed, Sonny became involved in gangs and violence, returned to prison with fifteen additional felonies, and eventually found himself facing years in solitary confinement.It was there that an unlikely friendship with a man in the cell across from him forced Sonny to confront the anger, trauma, and harm that had shaped so much of his life. Through that relationship, Sonny began taking responsibility for the pain he had caused while finding a way to give purpose to the pain he had survived. After spending a total of eighteen years incarcerated, he rebuilt his life through music, storytelling, advocacy, and a commitment to helping others. Today, Sonny works in the fight against child trafficking and exploitation, using both his lived experience and his voice to educate families, support survivors, and help protect the children he says deserve the intervention he never had.Sonny’s Links:https://www.instagram.com/sonnyvonclevelandofficialhttps://www.tiktok.com/@sonnyvonclevelandhttps://www.youtube.com/@sonnyvonclevelandofficialhttps://www.sonnyvoncleveland.comhttps://linktr.ee/sonnyvonclevelandofficialSonny’s Book - Hey White Boy: Conversations of Redemptionhttps://a.co/d/0iVuFHs6 Our Rescuehttps://ourrescue.orgSonny’s Podcast - Unlikely Allies: Inside Our Fight - Coming Soon!https://ourrescue.org/unlikelyalliesResources:National Grooming Prevention Hotlinehttps://www.ngph.org623-688-3214Suicide and Crisis Lifeline988RAINN24/7 confidential support, online chat & hotline 1-800-656-HOPEBeyond the Monsters Socials:https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonsters Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and educational discussion. It is not medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your own care.Topic: Fight Against Child Trafficking, Human Trafficking, Childhood Trauma, Prison Trauma, CSA,Child Exploitation Prevention

For our 100th episode and Suicide Prevention & Awareness Month, Chell shares one of the most difficult and personal stories she has ever told: losing her friend David to suicide. David was a successful businessman and philanthropist who was known for his generosity, but behind the life people saw, he was struggling with drugs, alcohol, and his mental health. When David reached out to Chell during a crisis in November 2017, she spent hours trying to keep him talking and convince him that what he was feeling was temporary. What happened over the course of that night would leave Chell carrying an experience she never could have prepared for.Chell opens up about witnessing her friend’s suicide, the guilt and questions she carried afterward, and the severe depression that followed. Having spent much of her career working in psychiatry and addiction, she struggled with the belief that she should have known what to do and ultimately stepped away from that work after his death. Nearly nine years later, Chell shares what this experience taught her about taking suicidal statements seriously, getting help when someone is in crisis, and the lasting impact suicide can have on the people left behind. More than anything, she shares David’s story in the hope that someone listening will check on the people they love and never assume that a cry for help shouldn’t be taken seriously.Resources:Suicide & Crisis HotlineCall or text 988Crisis Text Line741741Beyond the Monsters Socials:https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonsters Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and educational discussion. It is not medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your own care.Topic: Suicide Prevention, Mental Health, Complex PTSD, Substance Use Disorder, Loss & Grief 

LaRon shares his story of growing up in extreme poverty surrounded by addiction, violence, neglect, and abuse before entering the foster care system. After being placed in a foster home where he was starved, tortured, threatened with weapons, and made to eat from dog bowls, LaRon reached a point where he no longer wanted to live. In one of his darkest moments, music interrupted a suicide attempt and became something he could hold onto until he eventually returned to a foster mother who gave him the safety and unconditional love he had never known. LaRon opens up about being adopted, pursuing a career in music, and the ways his childhood trauma continued to follow him into adulthood, marriage, and fatherhood. After his marriage ended and the mother who adopted him unexpectedly died, LaRon found himself struggling again with grief, anger, and suicidal thoughts while trying to rebuild his life and remain present for his children. Today, he is confronting the patterns passed down through his family, navigating an ongoing fight to reunite with his youngest daughter, and using his music and story to turn what he survived into something that might give someone else hope.LaRon’s Links:https://www.instagram.com/iamlaronmusichttps://m.youtube.com/stevie3580?ra=mhttps://beacons.ai/iamlaronmusicLaRon’s Book: From My Test To My Testimonyhttps://a.co/d/0942q33mResources:Crisis Text Line741741RAINN24/7 confidential support, online chat & hotline 1-800-656-HOPESAMHSA’s National Helpline 1-800-662-HELP (4357)Beyond the Monsters Socials:https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonsters Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and educational discussion. It is not medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your own care.Topic: Foster care abuse, Child neglect, Childhood trauma, mental health, Generational trauma, Foster care system, Child welfare system

Ariel shares her story of surviving childhood SA, addiction, and years of struggling with her mental health before reaching a point where she attempted to take her own life. After six months of sobriety from alcohol, a difficult night became a breaking point, and Ariel survived a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the chest, an experience she describes as being followed almost immediately by regret and the realization that she wanted to live.In the years since, Ariel has had to confront not only the trauma that contributed to her attempt, but the physical and emotional aftermath of surviving it. She opens up about the impact on her son and family, her experiences within the mental health system, and the work it took to rebuild her life. Today, Ariel lives and works at Mattersville, a nonprofit wolf dog rescue that works with veterans struggling with PTSD, where caring for the animals and finding purpose within the community became an important part of her healing.Mattersville https://mattersvillevets.org/Resources:Crisis Text Line741741RAINN24/7 confidential support, online chat & hotline 1-800-656-HOPESAMHSA’s National Helpline (mental health and/or substance use)1-800-662-HELP (4357)Beyond the Monsters Socials:https://www.instagram.com/beyondthemonsters https://linktr.ee/BeyondtheMonsters Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and educational discussion. It is not medical or mental health advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your own care.Topic: Suicide Attempt Survivor, Mental Health Recovery, CSA, Complex PTSD, Alcohol Addiction, Suicide Prevention