Behind The Smile with Ash Butterss

This week’s episode is four years in the making, as Ash sits down with her brother, Campbell Butterss, for a conversation that is both deeply personal and authentically honest. Cam reflects on their shared upbringing, growing up in an environment that was at times unpredictable. The subtle dynamics and unspoken patterns that shaped them both, and how sport became an outlet and a way to navigate emotions he didn’t yet have the words for.At sixteen years sober, Cam opens up about his journey into sobriety at 26, the moments that led him to take a more honest look at his relationship with alcohol, and the support systems that helped him find a new way forward. Ash and Cam explore the evolving nature of family and friendships in recovery, what shifts, what stays the same, and what it takes to step out of old roles and into something more aligned.They also touch on the realities of Campbell’s career in real estate, and the tools he’s developed to move through uncertainty and pressure without falling back into old patterns. Woven throughout the conversation are themes of growth, perspective, and the grounding influence of fatherhood, as Campbell shares how becoming a dad has shaped the way he lives, leads, and shows up today.Episode Chapters:00:00 Introduction to the Retreats01:19 Meet Campbell Butters: A Personal Journey02:33 The Importance of Family and Relationships04:37 Navigating Life's Challenges: A Personal Reflection06:51 Finding Purpose in Real Estate09:02 The Roller Coaster of Real Estate12:16 Tools for Resilience in a Volatile Industry14:58 Hiding Behind a Smile: The Struggles of 200919:00 Childhood Memories and Family Dynamics21:38 The Role of Sport in Escaping Reality26:11 The Impact of Alcohol on Life Choices29:28 Lessons Learned from Family Success31:10 Teenage Rebellion and Authority Issues33:05 The Journey Begins: A Geographical Escape34:34 The Struggles of Alcoholism: A Year of Excess37:48 The Turning Point: Realizations and Recovery41:08 Finding Support: The Early Days of Sobriety43:12 Facing Second Rock Bottom: Dealing with Trauma47:18 Spiritual Awakening: The Role of Spirituality in Recovery51:26 Family Dynamics: Navigating Relationships in Recovery54:10 Friendship Changes: The Pain of Growing Apart01:00:43 Fatherhood: The Greatest Gift and Responsibility01:03:16 Non-Negotiables: Keys to a Fulfilling LifeYou can connect withCampbell using the links below:Instagram: Campbell ButterssWebsite: Marshall White Real EstateFollow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comUpcoming Workshops:Join Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

This week, Ash sits down with principal consultant and founder of the Energy Collective Co, Jade Donegan, to explore what it really means to care for your inner world while navigating the demands of work, family, and grief. Jade shares how her spirituality helped her to navigate the profound rupture of losing her dad, a loss that reshaped how she sees life, love, and success.She opens up about her journey through grief and forgiveness, the unexpected signs she still receives from her father, and the emotional toll of trying to keep going when your heart is somewhere else. Ash and Jade dive into the importance of emotional health at work, the need for accountability in professional spaces, and how understanding our own energy can change the way we lead, collaborate, and show up for the people around us.Throughout their conversation, Jade reflects on the transformative power of practices like Reiki, and how they’ve helped her build self-awareness, soften self-judgment, and create workplaces where wellbeing is taken seriously. Together, they talk about moving through emotions rather than getting stuck in them, and the courage it takes to let yourself feel everything without shutting down. At its heart, this episode is an invitation to meet yourself with empathy whether you’re sitting in grief, in transition, or in growth. You’ll walk away with insights on how to build a life and career that honour both your humanity and your healing.Episode Chapters:00:00 Introduction to Retreats and Personal Growth01:51 Meet Jade Donegan: A Journey of Transformation04:04 Daily Life and Finding Joy in Learning08:10 The Move to New Zealand: A Family Adventure11:32 Hiding Behind a Smile: The Impact of Grief19:06 Navigating Grief: A Personal Story of Loss23:44 Navigating Numbness and Helplessness24:26 The Journey of Forgiveness25:55 A Life-Changing Accident28:20 Empathy and Forgiveness in Grief29:36 Signs from Beyond36:50 The Power of Reiki43:03 Workplace Wellbeing and AccountabilityYou can connect with Jade using the links below:http://www.energycollectiveco.com.au/Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comJoin Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

This week, Ash sits down with sobriety advocate, author, and entrepreneur, Ian Fee, for a conversation that challenges everything you think you know about recovery.After 34 years of heavy drinking, Ian reached a point where he was willing to try anything to get sober. What followed was one of the most confronting decisions of his life, undergoing 10 days of radical aversion therapy designed to make alcohol physically repulsive. Ian shares what it was really like inside that experience, including daily alcohol-induced vomiting, sedatives and intense therapy. This was the doorway that led him to sobriety and the opportunity to rebuild his life. From losing almost everything to slowly repairing, Ian opens up about healing relationships, restoring self-respect, and learning how to live day by day without escaping himself.Along with losing 85 pounds, Ian has formed a whole new identity and now lives a life that is full of gratitude, purpose and meaning. Episode chapters:00:00 Introduction to Ian Fee's Journey06:11 The Impact of Sobriety on Daily Life12:53 Reflections on Family and Presence18:57 The Evolution of Drinking Habits21:00 Turning Point: Aversion Therapy Experience23:37 Exploring Aversion Therapy for Sobriety26:00 The Turning Point: Realizing the Need for Change28:31 The Shift in Relationships and Support Systems32:02 Finding Purpose Through Storytelling33:04 Building a Foundation for Recovery38:12 Healing Relationships with Children40:47 Non-Negotiables for a Happy LifeYou can connect with Ian using the links below:Website: makeitgreat.meLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ian-fee-6391b112/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Make-It-Great/100034784122106/Link to Book: https://www.amazon.com/Wild-Ride-Sobriety-Transformation-Oblivion/dp/B0DHYR1YST/Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comFollow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comJoin Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

This week, Ash sits down with Carly Schwartz, author of I’ll Try Anything Twice, to talk about what it really looks like to live through the darkest corners of your own mind and make it out the other side. Carly traces her journey from childhood anxiety to years of depression, substance use, and suicidal ideation, sharing the moments of denial, fear, and quiet desperation that shaped her path.She opens up about the turning point of finally naming her addiction and the life-changing experience of going to rehab, not as a neat overnight fix, but as the beginning of a very human, very imperfect recovery. Ash and Carly explore the messy middle of healing: the shame that keeps us silent, the relief of being truly seen, and the deep importance of community and storytelling in breaking through isolation.Throughout their conversation, Carly reflects on what it means to personalise recovery rather than squeeze it into a one-size-fits-all mold. She speaks to the need for flexibility, self-acceptance, and learning to listen to your own needs as they evolve over time. At its heart, this episode is a testament to resilience and connection, a reminder that while recovery is rarely linear, it is always possible, especially when we’re willing to tell the truth, reach out, and let others walk beside us.Episode chapters:00:00 Introduction to Carly Schwartz and Her Journey11:03 The Struggles Behind the Smile17:09 Childhood Anxiety and Early Signs of Depression23:20 The Dark Side of Substance Use and Suicidal Ideation28:26 The Struggle with Substance Use and Denial32:03 The Turning Point: Seeking Help and Going to Rehab37:00 Building a New Life in Recovery45:27 Personalizing Recovery: Finding What Works51:03 The Power of Community in RecoverySupport ServicesIf this conversation has brought anything up for you, please know you don’t have to go through it alone. Support is always available. You can reach out to Lifeline on 13 11 14 for 24/7 crisis support, Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 for mental health support and guidance, or the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 for free counselling.Connect with Carly using the links below:Website - https://www.carly.ink/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/carlicitaLinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/carlicita/Goodreads - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/236558341-i-ll-try-anything-twiceAmazon - https://www.amazon.com/Ill-Anything-Twice-Misadventures-Self-Medicated/dp/B0FD8RPH9L/Bookshop - https://bookshop.org/p/books/i-ll-try-anything-twice-misadventures-of-a-self-medicated-life-carly-schwartz/591dca26d9b8c510 Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comJoin Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

In this inspiring episode, Ash sits down with TEDx speaker and award-winning author Melo Calarco—a man who has quite literally cycled to the edges of the world in search of meaning, resilience, and himself. Over 30,000 kilometres across five continents, Melo has learned that the most transformative journey is always the one within.He shares how meditation and mindfulness became the quiet anchors behind his extraordinary adventures, and how facing grief, uncertainty, and physical limits on the road ultimately deepened his understanding of what it means to truly live. Together, Ash and Melo explore the tension between ambition and contentment, and what it looks like to pursue big goals without losing yourself in the chase.Drawing on Eastern philosophies and real-life transformations he has witnessed through his coaching work, Melo offers grounded, practical tools for bringing more presence, flexibility, and fun into everyday life. The conversation is a reminder that growth doesn't always look like pushing harder—sometimes it looks like slowing down, checking in with your values, and choosing joy as a practice. Melo's story is equal parts adventure and wisdom, and a powerful invitation to live more fully, freely, and in alignment with what matters most.Episode chapters:00:00 Introduction to Melo Carlaco01:41 A Day in the Life of Melo05:54 The Importance of Fun and Play06:55 Hiding Behind a Smile: Personal Stories10:02 Navigating Grief and Adversity13:04 The Journey of a Lifetime: Cycling Around the Globe17:47 The Seeds of Meditation20:25 Cultivating the Pause: Reaction vs. Response24:31 Life After Adventure: What Now?27:37 The Aftermath of Achievements: TEDx Experience29:26 Setting Hard Goals for Personal Growth32:06 The Balance of Flexibility and Discipline34:08 Integrating Eastern Philosophies into Coaching39:48 Real-Life Transformations through Mindfulness44:01 The Importance of Presence in Daily Life46:40 Practical Tools for Mindfulness and Presence50:45 Living by Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling LifeConnect with Melo below:BOOK: BEATING BURNOUT FINDING BALANCE FREE CHAPTERMELO's TEDx TALKFREE MEDITATIONS on INSIGHT TIMER STAY CONNECTED on MELO's LINKED INFollow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comJoin Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

This week you’re invited to listen in as Ash sits down with her lifelong friend Edwina, to explore what it means to remake your life in the wake of loss, motherhood, and big internal change. Edwina opens up about the sudden death of her brother, how grief reshaped her sense of self, and the quiet, courageous decision to question her relationship with alcohol.She shares what happened when she chose an alcohol-free life, not just on the surface, but in her identity, her friendships, and the way she shows up as a mother and a woman. Ash and Edwina dive into the role of therapy on this path, unpacking powerful modalities like EMDR, and how these practices helped her meet the younger parts of herself with compassion instead of criticism.Together, they talk about the fears that come with sobriety and the unexpected gifts that arrive when the noise of drinking is stripped away. The conversation shines a light on how retreats, community, and intentional healing practices can open space for self-discovery, deeper connection, and true emotional safety.Episode Chapters:​​00:00 Introduction to Retreats and Self-Discovery01:35 Meet Edwina: A Journey Through Life03:34 Navigating Grief and Vulnerability06:44 The Impact of Injury on Identity09:11 Finding Purpose in Adversity11:01 Hiding Behind a Smile: The Photo Story21:17 The Unfairness of Life and Loss23:00 Alcohol: A Coping Mechanism35:13 Healing and Understanding Family Dynamics35:48 Therapeutic Journeys: Exploring EMDR and Internal Family Systems38:02 The Alcohol-Free Awakening: A Personal Journey42:09 Facing Fears: The Terrifying Decision to Quit Drinking46:14 Redefining Relationships: Alcohol and Authentic Connections50:21 Building Deeper Friendships: The Shift in Social Dynamics55:12 The Power of Vulnerability: Authenticity in Relationships01:01:05 Embracing Change: The Journey of Self-Discovery01:07:52 Investing in Self: The Importance of Personal Retreats01:12:30 Non-Negotiables for a Fulfilling Life: Community, Nourishment, and MovementFollow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comUpcoming Workshops:Join Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

In another deeply honest solo episode, Ash reflects on the six biggest mistakes she’s made across six years of sobriety and how each one became a turning point for growth, self-trust, and real transformation. She takes you back to the day her life changed, then walks you through the lessons that followed, from expecting others to change, to trying to squeeze her new self into her old life, to giving her power away to people who didn’t have the best intentions. She opens up about people pleasing, outgrowing relationships, chasing what’s next instead of appreciating what’s now, and the humbling realisation that healing has no finish line. These are the truths she learned the long way, the kind that only come through lived experience, deep reflection, and choosing honesty over comfort.If you’re navigating change, questioning your path, or learning how to stand in your truth even when it costs you, this episode will feel like a conversation you didn’t know you needed.Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comUpcoming Workshops:Join Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Reset and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!

In this powerful and deeply honest conversation, Ash is joined by her mentor and high performance advisor, Mark “Dobbo” Dobson, for a thought-provoking exploration of what it truly takes to grow, evolve, and rise after life challenges you. Together they dive beneath surface level success and unpack the real work behind clarity, purpose, and personal expansion.Dobbo shares hard-earned wisdom on defining your values, sharpening your vision, and having the courage to live in full alignment with who you really are. They also explore how adversity can become a catalyst for transformation, and why the relationships we choose play a pivotal role in shaping the person we become.This conversation is a powerful reminder that meaningful growth is not built on perfection, it is built on honesty, resilience, and the willingness to turn life’s hardest moments into the foundation for something greater.You can connect with Dobbo through his website www.dobbo.com.au. Follow and connect with Ash on: ⁠Instagram⁠ @ashbutterssTikTok @behindthesmilewithashbWebsite⁠ www.ashbutterss.comJoin Ash on retreat in 2026!The Embodied Woman Retreat | Gold Coast | May 2026 Rest and Renew Holistic Retreat in Bali | August 2026Watch Ash’s TEDx Talk here!