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Descent into Ugly

“I’m ready to shoot myself” is not something you want to hear aloud too often, but this week our beloved Bitches find themselves repeating that A LOT as they struggle to get through what might the first episode to really push them over the edge. "Boy Crazy, Mom Crazy" is such a wild episode that this recording managed to be almost two hours long and we still only managed to cover half the episode!


Abby is unsurprisingly upset with the ALDC after losing again to Cathy and spends Pyramid calling Kendall a crybaby, pretending Nia mad a ton of mistakes for some reason, and somehow complimenting Brooke but still placing her on the bottom. She singles out Paige with praise for standing up to Cathy and Anthony... even though Abby made her do that and still somehow victim blames her for letting it happen?


Abby assigns Brooke to the Senior Group to join their upcoming performance. Kelly worries Brooke is being set-up to fail as Brooke hasn't received the same year of prep the rest of the group has had. Jill takes offense to Kelly being "ungrateful" and tattles to Abby about it! And yet somehow Kelly and Christi are the ones who end up in a huge fight about it?!


Quotes

  • “I’ll do a reenactment of Chloe when she got home at 2:45 or 3:00 AM. Really?! Yeah. Ugh those bad girls, I wonder where they get that from? I don’t know." (7:57-8:08 | Christi & Kelly)
  • “[Cathy] says Gino has been texting Maddie and Cathy can’t have any of her dancers fraternizing with her enemies. This is stupid. Just making sure that we all think this is stupid. We all think this is stupid? Yeah. Cause like what are they saying to each other?” (29:15-29:31 | Christi)
  • “This could possibly be one of the lines, that if we had to wrap all of the problems up of Dance Moms in one sentence, it could potentially be this line. She’s like you’re skinny, you’re blonde and you’re pretty. You’re telling me no one at school hates you? Wake-up! It’s psychotic!” (43:17-43:38 | Christi)
  • “You take the coffee cup, you [flip it] upside down and are tapping the bottom. And I’m like you get that drip girl, you get that last drip out of there! I fucking rewound it three times. I was laughing so hard and you getting that last drop of “coffee” on your tongue, like I HAVE to chug this coffee cup. It was amazing.” (54:44-55:08 | Christi)


Links

Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w 


Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre


Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=


Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510


Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak


Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

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    We're headed on the road in Spring 2026! Sign up to be the first to know our tour cities and dates and ticket access! https://forms.gle/zFmxCUNBN2SX42yU7"God forbid we support each other," says Christi, and on the second half of the Season 5 premiere it's hard not to miss the heydays when the moms at least had each other to lean on. Now that Abby has to attend court to deal with Paige's lawsuit, everyone at the ALDC is scrambling in a panic over what might happen. Things start to get dicier when the ALDC discovers Christi is also attending the trial to support Kelly.The moms are upset with what they see as an attempt by Christi to try and bring down the TV show itself, though if any of them had reached out before the show's taping maybe they could have cleared the air and understood that she just wanted out of her contract. But regardless of that, Abby certainly was never going to be so generous with her reading of the situation and goes on a full offensive against both Christi and Kelly. Abby's frustrations begins to bleed over into her normal routine as she starts berating even Maddie and Mackenzie for their posture. For Christi it's perhaps one of the most shocking things she's ever seen on the show, the vibes at the ALDC are certainly shifting.Abby finds solace at Sheer Talent, which back her claims of being attacked and hands the ALDC some victories she does have a stake in it after all). It's a great early season showing from the team despite some very substandard dances. Kalani is even forced to wear heels for her number, something originally meant to be a hurdle for Chloe, but pulls it all together for the most points out of the whole team. Though the circus themed Freak Show group number leaves a lot to be desired, it still manages to put the team back ontop.Quotes“You don't even have to drink because she's wearing a headband, drink because she's not wearing ALDC merch!" (21:36-21:40 | Christi)“Oh my god you know I can't win or lose. If I don't retweet it then I'm not your friend, but if I do retweet it I'm against everyone else. So whatever." (25:19-25:29 | Kelly)“Across the street from the courthouse there was a bagel truck that I got the best bagel I've ever had that I still think about once a month. I can go back to court you know and we can get another bagel!" (35:22-35:36 | Christi & Kelly)“Mrs. Miller was like 85 and had cancer. I hardly think the negativity of the ALDC killed Mrs. Miller, but OK." (41:33-41:40 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510
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