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Miss Piggy Era
“I'm not yelling at children!” exclaims Christi as things get heated on the second half of the "Boys Are Cuties, Girls Have Cooties". Abby is fuming over Cathy's all boys team, which Christi correctly guesses will result in their girls getting pushed that much harder. Abby launches directly into harsh criticisms of the soloists and starts getting on every girl's case about their hats for Pink Lemonade.
Cathy's boys bring the charm as OnStage America commences. All Abby needs the girls to do is be better than Cathy's group. Things look rocky fast as aside from Kendall's 3rd place, none of the soloists rank highly. It's all up to Pink Lemonade, but a successful performance is marred when Chloe drops her hat.
It's a worst case scenario for Christi as Chloe's been the target of Abby's ire for some time already. Even if the performance is well received; any and all faults will be placed squarely on Chloe's shoulders, especially if they lose to Cathy. This marks a low point for Christi, whose already had a very rough go of it this season. As she collects Chloe to leave, Christi is recorded yelling at bystanders in the hallway.
Having been unable to escape this clip for a whole decade, Christi would like to share that it isn't what it looks like! What really happened? Well join us today for what's sure to be, for Christi at least, a lose-lose situation.
Quotes
- “Cathy is telling her team it smells like something's burning. Woo, it's us because we are hot. Oh my god get a life. She's so cheesy. Her and Abby. God, they're having like, a lame-off.” (13:38 -13:54 | Kelly and Christi)
- “The whole thing went on with the costume. Then Jill on the bus and the costume. Then we just never heard another word about it. It just disappeared! Yeah, that was the main story of the first half.” (19:59-20:11 | Kelly and Christi)
- “Season 3 remains a very dark time in my life. This remains one of my low moments, especially when it aired and people were like Oh My God Christi is yelling at children!” (32:51-33:03 | Christi)
- “Then you come back and fight with me. You have more on your mind this week, then you take it out on me bitch! I don't take it out on you as much as I think I'd fucking had it. Didn't we all have it at that point? Yeah, on me.” (42:37-46:45 | Kelly and Christi)
Links
Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w
Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre
Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510
Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak
Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland
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01:52:01|We're headed on the road in Spring 2026! Buy tickets here:https://www.x1entertainment.com/bttb"We have one of the wilder episodes of Dance Moms that I've seen in a minute. Thank god it wasn't with us!" That's practically underselling how weird it is that Abby is just inexplicably missing for most of the episode. I mean considering the excuse she gives for her absence in "Hello Hollywood, Goodbye Abby" doesn't really explain her absence at all and the girls only had three days to prepare for their first LA competition, it's got to be one of the weirdest episodes at the very least.The episode kicks off proper with a conundrum for Abby: Without her LA studio ready to go the ALDC must rent out studio space to practice. But uh-oh, the only spot available is currently in use by the Rage Dance Company and Abby is to afraid to even be seen with them. So the ALDC goes it alone as abby hides out in her car for the first of many retreats. The RDC pulls out all the stops, which worries the moms as Abby has prepared a group number that feels very safe and very un-LA by comparison. But Abby has more important issues to attend to, like getting the girls auditions and then helping them fumble them by both causing a scene in the parking lot and insulting Nia at the audition itself! Holly is quite fed up, but not enough it seems as none of the other moms back her up. It's beginning to dawn on Holly that she is the new Christi and Abby's torturous ways are only going to get worse.Meanwhile making no progress with the team is JoJo, who while not an official team member was still expected to come out to LA and just, what, stand there? Abby instructs Gia not to let Jojo perform in the group number, and then take sit a step further and bars her from auditioning. Jess steals Kalani's sides for the role to encourage Jojo to audition, but when word gets back to the other moms it devolves into a shouting match. If that wasn't enough it's clear Production keeps pushing JoJo to push Abby's buttons in order to make it on the team, which makes her an easy target for continued ridicule.Will the ALDC be able to make a strong first impression in LA, or will Abby's tirades trip them at the starting line? Is water wet?Quotes“Are you drinking anything? No, just Diet Coke. Why? I dunno, cause I'm not a drunk! Shut up! All evidence to the contrary Kelly Hyland!" (15:28-15:41 | Christi & Kelly)“I cannot believe how many shots we had of Abby eating various things in her car." (17:25-17:30 | Christi)“We're not in Pittsburgh anymore, welcome to Los Angeles. We're not in Kansas anymore Dorothy, get your ass out of the car!" (26:36-26:41 | Christi & Kelly)“Now off camera we're going to have what might be one of dumber fights that they didn't air. Actually it's so dumb I'm shocked they didn't air it." (56:01-56:10 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510
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01:18:48|We're headed on the road in Spring 2026! Buy tickets here:https://www.x1entertainment.com/bttb"On this podcast, historically, I don't know if I've ever agreed with Abby Lee Miller and been Team Abby in an argument. For these next four sentences I'm 100% on Abby's side, with my pom poms, and I'm cheering ABBY ABBY!" says Christi, in what may be the first sign that hell truly has frozen over.As "Bye Bye Pittsburgh" gets underway, stress levels are high as there's only one week left until the ALDC moves to Los Angeles. The OG moms continue to believe that Abby doesn't have every girl's best interest at heart unless their name is Maddie. It's clear from the editing that Holly doesn't know it yet, but she's being set-up to take Christi's place as the heel in Abby's plans and it's already feeding into Nia's treatment overall.Meanwhile the newest moms are battling it out to see who will get to stick around. Jess and Jojo are only scheduled to stay two weeks, indicating that at least at this moment it's likely they hadn't been locked in yet to become regulars. Jess goes on the offensive, theatrically making scenes attacking the other moms in the hopes it makes for good TV. Her only problem is JoJo isn't quite fitting into the team dynamic just yet, running behind during the group dance and annoying Abby with her quips. Consequently JoJo is booted from the group routine, but will Jess let that stop her from stirring the pot further?Quotes“I have a big slap. Do you though? I thought your slap was pretty minimal with a big impact. Oh be nice!" (12:58-13:05 | Christi)“By the way [Abby] did not like us. I think everybody knows that." (23:44-253:49 | Christi & Kelly)“Who wears neon? Besides Jill Vertes at Teen Choice." (31:27-31:31 | Christi)“Jess accuses Kira of making fun of Jojo's voice at Pyramid and she denies it. How?! It's on camera!" (44:01-44:08 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510
Something to Not Believe In
01:28:33|We're headed on the road in Spring 2026! Sign up to be the first to know our tour cities and dates and ticket access! https://forms.gle/zFmxCUNBN2SX42yU7"Kira explains to Jess that she is a guest and Abby has no obligation to tell her anything. Again Kira, the balls! They're THIS big! They're ginormous." On the second half of "JoJo with a BowBow", things between Kira and Jess are already heating up and the OG moms aren't taking either of their presence all that well either. What's funny is that those OG moms don't yet know they're going to be stuck with them. Gonna be a fun few seasons!The group dance number, Something to Believe In, continues to be an adventure in questionable taste with JoJo dressed up as a Muslim, Kalani Hindu, etc... The moms are a little apprehensive about the material but ultimately back Abby up, though the results don't give us personally "something to believe in". But while the moms have to contend with Abby's choices, Abby herself does not and opts to head to New York instead of joining the team at competition. Of course she has to go for her court date, but since Abby kept putting off attending her actual dates it's anyones guess as to why she didn't just skip this one. Well not exactly, since Abby does manage to show up after missing most of the team's performances, much to the mom's annoyance.But the only thing that might annoy them more than Abby is each other. Jess and Kira start fighting it out for what they see as an open spot on the team, though Abby has yet to promise them anything concrete. At the very least from being able to watch Dance Moms prior, Jess and Kira know not to pick their fights with Abby, and it may just take them farther than anyone yet realizes.Quotes“The whole universe feels off. My phone won't work, my internet won't work, just like my brain doesn't work!" (03:07-03:12 | Christi)“I'm telling you Jill is saying bring back those two other bitches. See they didn't know what they were missing! At least we were funny." (25:48-25:55 | Christi & Kelly)“Do you think Abby got paid everytime she said the word Maddie? Wouldn't that be nice!" (28:57-29:01 | Christi & Kelly)“This is why it isn't shown. Thank you Lifetime, for once again saving them from themselves." (1:11:17-1:11:22 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510