034 Monotropism Might Explain Everything with Fergus Murray
Monotropism is a powerful description of a narrowed field of attention and interests that, for many, explains much of the autistic experience. Fergus Murray (they/them) shares about this topic both from personal experience, and as the child of Dinah Murray, one of the people who developed the term and theory.
Healing from neurodivergent burnout requires understanding your monotropic brain and avoiding monotropic split as much as possible. And fun fact, as Fergus points out: in the original validation study, AuDHD people were the most monotropic!
The title reflects both monotropism as an excellent theory about potentially multiple neurodivergences, as well as the tendency of monotropic people to end up seeing connections between diverse fields.
Mentioned in episode:
- Fergus's website: oolong.co.uk
- Monotropism Questionnaire
- Autism and Mental Health free course (free for first 90 days)
Connect with Fergus & learn more about monotropism:
Fergus's LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/0olong
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Mini: Pushing Yourself06:58A question I hear a lot: Should I just push through? It's not all or nothing. Feeling unable to do something right now doesn't mean that all is lost and the day is a complete wash. It's safe to switch to something else. It's safe to change your mind. It's safe to need rest and recovery time.There is nothing wrong with us. But damn do we need more rest.
038 What's "Subclinical" Autism? with William Curb49:10William Curb hosts the Hacking Your ADHD podcast. We dive into what it means to have a "subclinical" autism diagnosis, and what that implies in the context of having a completely different brain. Other topics include: The medical model vs. lived experienceHandling children's vs. parents' sensory needsNeurodivergent children/household Formal diagnosis process How we view ourselves through this lens Which ND is driving the bus right now?Complicated diagnosis with multiple potential options Mentioned in the podcast: The Hacking Your ADHD website (also contains the podcast linked above)Will's Twitter @HackingYourADHDResources:Like Your Brain community spaceResources Blog & Contact FormTranscript DocEmail Newsletter
037 Don't Become a Coach for the Money!43:38Today we delve into ethical considerations around marketing coaching, including MLM-like tactics, pricing, and the pressure to charge high fees to recoup investments in programs teaching coaches how to market.One particular thing I learned recently about this history of the coaching world is changing how I think about my own business. Even if you're not a coach, this will be an interesting episode!Topics include:Following up about last week's conversation with Samantha Pollack about ethics in marketingWhy some of the MLM accusations feel true (marketing coaches teaching coaches how to market to other coaches, etc)Courses focused on marketing and selling over coaching skillsWhy the industry doubled its prices some years ago due to JV/affiliate modelsAccessibility not just in terms of money but also how AuDHD folks consume content and integrateLinks mentioned in episode: Survey about having bought courses/coachingContact form The four video podcasts by Rachael Kay Albers: Thomas Edison to Tony Robbins: The Online Business Family Tree, Six Figure Masterminds, Marie Forleo, and The Syndicate, ClickFunnels, Fake it 'til you make it, & Moneyball, Fix From Within or Burn It All Down? What Next? Resources:Like Your Brain community spaceResources Blog & Contact FormTranscript DocEmail Newsletter
036 Ethical Marketing with Samantha Pollack01:15:46Marketing ends up relevant to many AuDHD people at some point, in part because many of us end up freelancing at some point out of desire or necessity. Many of us end up resisting it because of our strong ethics.I'd already blogged Samantha's amazing Substack article, "Conventional Marketing Ain't Workin' Anymore." And was ecstatic when she said yes to a deep dive on why making friends with marketing is important for any small business owner or service provider. We talk about:How making friends can be a (chill) marketing activityDrawing in the people you like working withWhy a lot of B2B marketing is dishonest at heartEvaluating whether social media is working for youA super simple approach to marketing that feels ethicalHow as a consumer, a lot of marketing is just noiseThis episode is interesting from the consumer side, even if you don't ever create marketing!Connect with Sam: Substack: The Cult of Personality SoapboxInstagram @cultofpersonalitySales Page Framework (50% discount for podcast listeners is reflected when you click to buy)Email list signup (scroll down)Resources:Like Your Brain community spaceResources Blog & Contact FormTranscript DocEmail Newsletter
035 How Much Time Does Creating Take?28:20This is the first of at least two follow-up episodes about monotropism responding to the work of Fergus Murray, interview guest in episode 034 Monotropism Might Explain Everything.If you base your ideas about how long it should take to create on societal messages, you might be trying to "squeeze it in" around all your other obligations. But monotropic brains (which AuDHD brains typically are) might need more transition time to get into the right frame of mind. Not only to get things done, but for the process to be more enjoyable, which is a major goal for me creatively. You can learn more about the Monotropism Questionnaire here, and take the quiz here (checkbox near top of page lets you save your results and come back later). If you're in Like Your Brain, come tell us your score! We've been talking about it :) p.s. I'm very proud of myself for practicing what I preach. While working on this episode, I'd told my partner I was recording. Then as I was 75% done with editing, they tried to interrupt me to come do a house task with no warning. I said no! That felt like a big deal because letting myself follow this task to completion felt really good, and I would have been battling dysregulation if I'd gone to do something completely unrelated. Some links Fergus recommended for further reading on monotropism: ADHD and MonotropismMonotropism in Practice Loops of Concern (self-help for autistic rumination)Autism Tips for TeachersResources:Like Your Brain community spaceResources Blog & Contact FormTranscript Doc (as of posting this episode in early Feb 2024, I'm a few episodes behind & hoping to catch up soon!) Email Newsletter
033 3 Common AuDHD Concerns47:32There are three interrelated concerns that I hear over and over from AuDHD folks:They don't see a clear pathway from what they love or are good at to making enough money.Strong ethics and values make it difficult to imagine a sustainable life, i.e. making enough money to let things be easier.Undervaluing the things that are easy for them (while feeling a lot of guilt or shame about struggling with the things that are hard for them: didn't talk about this half much) They are not necessarily AuDHD-specific concerns, but we have some unique needs around resolving them.This episode shares personal examples (including talking about my 2023 earnings) to build out a holistic picture of what it looks like to be in the process with all of these concerns.Here are some conversation prompts if you want to talk to someone about #3:Let the person know that you're trying to sort out what skills and talents you have that you might be overlooking or undervaluing. I recommend both recording the conversation and asking the other person to take notes so you can get their perspective. Talk through (or write out if this is via email, though I recommend a live conversation if possible) your history with work and/or creative practice, and ways you've helped people. This can include free things such as volunteering. Make sure you also talk about what you've loved and what has felt easy and fun! Start turning this into a list of skills.Ask the other person for feedback on what stands out, and how they might describe or add to your list of skills. Have them ask you questions to draw out more information!Go back and forth adding to that list of skills, getting as specific as both of you can. Then get that person's opinion on what stands out as anything you might be undervaluing.Mentioned book The Art of Impossible by Steven KotlerFrom Burnout to Flourishing training for organizations, email email@example.com for more infoEpisode 10: Money & Surviving CapitalismNew Year: Map Your Intention sessionResources:Like Your Brain community spaceResources Blog & Contact FormTranscript DocEmail Newsletter
Mini: Fire Your Business Coach17:04If you're not paying your business coach from ample profit in your business, it's likely not worth it. Especially when the book Profit First + a free accountability buddy can get you there instead. My biggest regret in my business was not implementing the profit first system when I first read the book in 2021, the first year I made good money in two businesses. I subsequently wasted a bunch of that money on expensive courses and coaching that weren't a good fit, because I was trying to find "the answer." If you'd like support either implementing in your business or creative practice over the next few weeks, I'm going to be scheduling coworking hours (and probably a chat space) over the next few weeks. This is free, by the way...not sure if I said that in the episode! If you'd like that, please send me your email & what you'd like to work on here. If at least five people sign up I'll get that going officially and email y'all. And if you'd like to share your experiences buying courses and/or coaching, I made an anonymous survey here. The first section is general and should take less than 5 minutes to fill out. The second section could take longer if you really want to dig into details and share more. But anything is interesting and useful, and I'll share those results on a future episode (again, anonymously). Mentioned in episode: Contact form for coworking starting mid-Jan Survey about having bought courses/coaching
032 Whales and Our World with grace allerdice54:40grace allerdice shares about her passions for whales. Their place in myth, their role as bridge creatures, and how they are composers who sing a grid around the world every year.We dive into whale song, how terrifying and mesmerizing whales can be, and how deeply we both connect with the ocean and these huge mammals. First of hopefully many special interest episodes, when a guest talks about their passion and we go with the flow! If you'd like to share about a special interest or recommend a topic, please reach out.Mentioned in podcast: grace's main website and home—body podcast websiteRick Rubin's book The Creative ACTgrace's podcast episode that talks about whales (episode is mostly about astrology) grace also recommends Something Large & Wild, episode on This is Love about an encounter with a baby whaleResources:Like Your Brain community spaceAuDHDFlourishing.comTranscript DocEmail Newsletter