AuDHD Flourishing

My cats Mac & Cheese (see episode pic) have been having a hard time. I've learned a lot observing their reactive nervous systems because it's so easy to feel compassion for them.This episode uses that extended metaphor to also talk about when AuDHD nervous systems feel reactive, including with meltdowns that can include anger or violence. Depending on how much reactivity is affecting your life, it may require professional help. No matter what, you deserve compassion <3 Content note: episode mentions violence and medicationResources for anger and reactive nervous systems:Autistic anger (including therapy suggestions)Resource for non-autistic folks to understand meltdownsAuDHD emotional regulation (mentions RSD, justice sensitivity, alexithymia)ADHD rage & anger (note: I didn't find many AuDHD-specific resources on this topic - plz share if you have good ones!)Crisis Resources:USA-based anonymous crisis chatInternational crisis linesVarious types of crisis resources in about 10 countriesAuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

The skill no one knew you needed: how to emotionally regulate while doing a task. It's simple yet difficult. And undiagnosed neurodivergent parents were even less likely to be able to help on some fronts, if they never learned how either.This is a skill you can practice (which the end of the episode covers), and there are many AuDHD factors complicating it for us. Even with different emotional processing or experience, it's still possible to take care of yourself during an activity.But it requires slowing down and being willing to stop if your brain or body are too triggered.Over time, this builds to being able to do more, more easily, with less stress. It is very, very worth it p.s. the "facilitator" example was MY experience in groups, not how I want people to think about me leading groups ;)Mentioned in episode:2 short vids explaining the Wall of Awful & strategies for going through & over it by Jessica McCabe of How to ADHD150 The Wall of Awful with Brendan MahanAuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

Brendan Mahan's concept of The Wall of Awful has taken on a life of its own. While originally geared toward ADHD, it's also extremely applicable to other neurodivergent folks including autism, AuDHD, OCD, and PDA.In short, there are a bunch of tough emotions built up over time between you and tasks that are difficult for you (whether or not anyone else believes they are easy). While you may instinctively figure out how to sidestep or smash through the issues, it's not really addressing the deeper problem that still affects you the next time.Brendan's book, The Wall of Awful, comes out Sep 1 2026, and you can learn an overview of the concepts at the YouTube videos listed under #3 belowConnect with Brendan / Mentioned in episode:The Wall of Awful book & resources, and if you're buying on Amazon here's my affiliate linkFriendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults by Caroline Maguire, book, affiliate link2 short vids explaining the Wall of Awful & strategies for going through & over it by Jessica McCabe of How to ADHDAuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

"Consistency" can feel like a dirty word in neurodivergent land... Consistency is a tool, not a final answer. It can be a better fit than habits for our brains (see past 3 episodes) It can be part of building systems that work for us (including reminders, since forgetting is a big reason for inconsistency) Kindness and self-compassion are where consistency REALLY matters, because they build capacity over time AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

Builds on last two episodes: Self-Awareness vs. Solutions and Habits are Hard (but also very cool)Breaking "bad" habits is different (and more difficult) than building new habits. I also recommend not being too aggressive about it if those coping mechanisms are load bearing psychologically ;)AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

There's some evidence that ADHD brains in particular may have trouble forming habits as they're traditionally thought of. But that doesn't mean they have no value for us!This episode is about how to lean into the part of habit formation that may work for us (spoiler alert, you may need WEIRD rewards)Builds on last week's episode, Self-Awareness vs. Solutionsp.s. hopefully the birdsong in the background isn't too annoying... I recorded with the windows open and didn't realize it would pick up! p.p.s. by the time you listen to this, we'll be at 1,000,000 downloads 🥳AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

You may have been told that you're "so self-aware," yet struggle to actually implement solutions. In the moment, you might be lacking the support, the executive function, the initiation energy, etc.Introspection and self-awareness are great, but they're not the end of the process.AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

In the context of learning a musical instrument, it's obvious that there's a period of not being good at it. Whether you call it mediocrity or a skill gap, there's often a gap between where you are and where you want to be. There are many cases in which we can only improve by doing, trying, and yes, failing. It's uncomfortable and that's normal. You don't have to like it, but it is a step in learning or improving.I HATE IT. And I also know it's going to happen.AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)

Trying to do all of the things, all of the time is a recipe for being stuck.Instead, do some of the things, some of the time.The episode also talks about a couple of imagination techniques that may help with some types of PDA or other demand avoidance.AuDHD Flourishing resources:Transcript Doc (often a few weeks behind, but we do catch up!)Mattia's NewsletterLike Your Brain community space (Patreon/Discord)