Latest episode
Is Your Messy House Making You Sick? Clutter, Cortisol, and the Invisible Mental Load
15:24|Is the clutter in your home actually messing with your health—or are you just “too sensitive”? In this episode of Misperceived, Professor Leah Ruppaner breaks down the science on clutter, stress, and the mental load, including a landmark UCLA study showing that women who describe their homes as cluttered and unfinished have elevated cortisol patterns across the day, while men in the same homes don’t show the same spike. Leah unpacks why a messy house hits women harder, how invisible labor and constant “noticing” turn piles of stuff into a 24/7 to‑do list, and why you are not the problem for feeling overwhelmed by dishes, laundry, and half‑done projects.You’ll learn:How clutter, disorganization, and “unfinished” spaces are linked to women’s cortisol, mood, and long‑term health.Why gendered expectations around housework and presentation of the home make women feel personally judged by the mess, even when everyone lives in it.Practical ways to lower your mental load without turning yourself into the unpaid project manager of everyone else’s stuff—plus how to claim one restorative space that’s just for you.
More episodes
View all episodes
Who Do They Call First? The Hidden Mental Load of Being the “Default Parent”
21:58|In this episode of MissPerceived, Professor Leah unpacks what really happens when something goes wrong with your kids and the school, coach, or doctor has to pick up the phone: who do they call first, and why is it almost always mom? Drawing on new research from the Quarterly Journal of Economics and her own mental load interviews, Leah breaks down how schools and other institutions default to mothers as the family “911 call center,” even when parents explicitly ask them to call dad instead. She explains how this constant correspondence quietly reshapes women’s careers, health, and relationships, and offers practical ways dads, schools, and couples can push back on these norms so the burden is shared more fairly at homeYour College Bestie Changed Your Brain (And Your Adult Friendships)
17:36|Why do college besties hit different from every other friendship you’ve had since? In this episode of Misperceived, Prof Leah breaks down what makes university friendships so intense and enduring, weaving in research on brain development, “self‑authorship,” and how women use friendships to test ideas, build identity, and stay sane in a hostile world. She explains why that 3 a.m. pizza‑and‑life‑chat friend often becomes your lifelong go‑to for truth, comfort, and tough love—and why those bonds set an almost impossibly high bar for adult friendships that get squeezed into work, school pick‑ups, and spin class. This episode doubles as a love letter to your uni bestie and an invitation to notice (and nurture) the people who have walked with you through your biggest growth spurts, even if they didn’t happen on a beach campus with epic house parties.Helicopter Parenting, Teen Sex, and the Crushing Mental Load
13:28|When does keeping your kids safe turn into quietly wrecking their chances to grow up? In this episode, Prof Leah unpacks teen dating—covenants, text surveillance, and all—and asks what happens when parents’ fear of the future swallows their kids’ present. Drawing on her research on the mental load (and her forthcoming book Drained), she connects helicopter parenting, constant digital surveillance, and perfection pressure to teens’ isolation, anxiety, and lack of room to fail, urging parents to back off, drop the impossible standards, and let kids be gloriously imperfect humans.Phone a Friend: Why Texting Your Bestie Is Science-Backed Stress Relief
09:52|Ever feel like your day is just one “Are you kidding me?” moment after another? This week, Prof. Leah breaks down why some meetings should be illegal, how flat tires seem to know when you’re at your limit, and why venting to your best friend might actually be the healthiest thing you can do after a week of emotional overload . Drawing on new research from the Journal of Adolescent Health, we look at how teens—and adults—really cope with stress, and why texting a trusted friend trumps doomscrolling or actually sitting with your feelings (no judgment if you still want that bath and a glass of wine) .How’s Dad Doing? The New Mental Load of Fatherhood
20:47|On this episode of MissPerceived, Leah flips the script on the mental load, shifting focus from mothers to the evolving experience of dads. Drawing from new research and hundreds of interviews across the US and Australia, Leah unpacks how modern fathers are navigating emotional thinking work-what she calls the “mental load logics”-while managing family, work, and parenting standards that have changed almost overnight. From comparing themselves to their own fathers (as anti-models or “good, but I can do better”) to wrestling with gendered expectations in their partnerships, today’s dads face a cognitive challenge that’s often overlooked. Leah explores the concept of metaparenting, the self-reflective work of deciding who you want to be as a parent in a society with few clear role models for engaged fatherhood.Why You Can’t Outsource Your Mental Load: The Sticky Truth for Moms
15:25|On this episode, Professor Leah dives into new research revealing why high-powered, high-earning mothers still can’t shake their mental load—no matter how much money, help, or flexibility they gain. Discover the difference between core and episodic mental load, why domestic cognitive labor sticks to women regardless of income or status, and how “gender stickiness” explains persistent burnout among mothers. With insights from over 2,000 parents and fresh findings on fatherhood, this episode gives a validating look into why women can outsource chores but not the relentless task of organizing, remembering, and anticipating every detail of family life.