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MissPerceived
Dream Building in a Broken System: Why Your Mental Load Isn’t the Problem
In this episode of Misperceived, Leah pulls back the curtain on a powerful mental load category from her forthcoming book, Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More—dream building. She explains how women’s dreams get quietly starved as they carry invisible, boundaryless, and enduring thinking work for their families, workplaces, and communities, and why that’s a loss for everyone, not just women. Leah digs into why work and caregiving feel impossible to combine, why so many women are stepping out of the labor market, and how ageism and a rapidly changing, AI-driven economy make it so hard to get back in. You’ll hear why you cannot personally fix broken systems, why adaptability is now a core future-of-work skill, and how the Mental Load Audit can help you make small, strategic shifts toward the life you actually want—without burning yourself out trying to “do it all.”
Follow Leah: @prof.leahruppanner
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The Parenting Problem No One Prepared Us For: Social Media
20:05|Should kids be on social media? Or should we ban it entirely?In this episode of Misperceived, we tackle one of the most complicated parenting questions today: social media and children.Parents everywhere are struggling to figure out the right approach. Should kids have smartphones early so they can learn how to navigate the digital world? Should parents strictly monitor and limit access? Or should children stay off social media entirely until they’re older?The truth is—there’s no simple answer.As a social scientist who studies the mental load, I’ve heard from countless parents who say that monitoring their children’s digital lives is one of the biggest sources of stress and cognitive burden they face today. From worrying about online safety and misinformation to navigating addictive algorithms and social pressure, parents are being asked to manage something previous generations never had to deal with.In this episode, we explore:Why social media creates a huge mental load for parentsThe challenge of raising kids in a digital-first worldWhy government bans on social media for teens may not workHow algorithms and addictive content affect young peopleThe growing problem of misinformation and polarization onlineWhy parents cannot solve this problem aloneWhat a society-wide response to social media addiction might look likeWe also talk about what it means to help kids become responsible digital citizens, how to have honest conversations about what they see online, and why this issue requires solutions from families, tech companies, schools, and governments—not just parents.If you’re a parent, educator, or anyone trying to understand how technology is shaping the next generation, this episode is for you.
The Coming Care Crisis: Gray Tsunami, Mental Load, and Why Our Systems Will Break
21:55|In this episode of Misperceived, Leah unpacks the “gray tsunami” and explains why the real future-of-work crisis isn’t just AI—it’s caregiving. She widens the lens on care beyond moms and little kids to include aging parents, partners, friends, disabled family members, and even our future selves, showing how this rising care demand is slamming into already maxed‑out mental loads and pushing especially women out of the labor market. Leah breaks down what an aging population means for our economies, workplaces, and daily lives, why relying on families’ unpaid labor and low‑wage workers is an unsustainable strategy, and how putting care—not just GDP and productivity—at the center could spark new policies, business models, and community solutions. You’ll be invited to imagine what a “care-first” society and workplace might look like, and how we can start building it before the wave fully hits.
Is It Really Your Fault? How Social Norms Shape Your Life
16:20|In this episode of Misperceived, Leah asks a deceptively simple question: Is it actually your fault—or did society make you do it? Drawing on her training as a sociologist and her book Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More, she breaks down what sociology is (and how it’s different from psychology) and shows how invisible social norms quietly script our choices, behaviors, and sense of failure. From the myth that women are “naturally” great multitaskers to the pressure to be the perfect mom with the perfect home—and the stereotype that dads are inherently bad at caregiving—Leah reveals how these stories overload women, sideline men, and keep everyone stuck. You’ll learn how to spot when you’re carrying the blame for broken systems instead of actual mistakes, how to question the “shoulds,” “musts,” and “what ifs” running your life, and how to start using sociology as your superpower so you can move through the world with more agency, less guilt, and a lot more self-compassion.
Why You Wake Up Exhausted
16:18|In this episode of Misperceived, Leah gets honest about her late-night doomscrolling habit and why “just checking your phone” leaves so many women wired, anxious, and exhausted the next day. Drawing from her research and her upcoming book Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More, she explains how constant exposure to heavy news and social media pings our mental load to care, to keep our families safe, and to emotionally support others—draining the limited energy we need for work, parenting, and showing up in the world with any sense of power or hope. You’ll learn how to see doomscrolling as a mental load leak instead of a moral obligation, what to do in those 2 a.m. wakeups instead, and how to realign your time, feeds, and attention so you can actually rest and still have capacity to take meaningful action on the things you care about.
Valentine’s Day, Mental Load, and Loving Yourself
13:11|On this episode Prof Leah breaks down why Valentine’s Day can feel less like a celebration and more like a mental load marathon for moms, partners, and singles. She talks about the pressure to plan the “perfect” day, the emotional exhaustion of dating apps, and the hidden expectations women carry around romance, gifts, and feeling seen. You’ll hear practical reframes for taking the pressure down, spreading love across all 365 days, and turning February 14th into a day of self-nurturing on your own terms
Unlearning Body Shame
15:02|On this episode, Leah explores how generational messages have taught women to feel shame about their changing bodies—from tight jeans and bodysuits in the 80s and 90s to today’s high-waisted shorts and leggings. She reflects on growing up hyperaware of every outline and curve, and how that discomfort still echoes when she sees her own daughter getting dressed. Through personal stories, a feminist lens on choice and self-expression, and a look at how media and beauty culture have policed women’s bodies, Leah asks what it means to stop hiding, stop apologizing, and allow girls and women to exist in their bodies without embarrassment. In the end, she celebrates a new generation that seems less interested in shrinking themselves and more interested in living fully, visibly, and unapologetically in the skin they’re in.
Illness and Guilt: When Being Sick Feels Like Failing
18:54|Everyone is sick right now—and somehow, you still feel bad for needing to lie down. In this episode of Misperceived, Leah unpacks why so many women feel guilty when they get sick, even when their families are fine, fed, and happily living on Hot Pockets and Uncrustables.Drawing on global stories from the U.S., Australia, and Sweden, she breaks down how culture, capitalism, and the lack of a safety net teach us that illness is a personal failure and rest is something we have to earn. She then connects this to the mental load of motherhood: when you’re the keeper of everyone’s schedules, prescriptions, and needs, being “out of commission” feels dangerous—like everything might fall apart.Leah offers a different script: letting others step in is not neglect, it’s necessary. You are one essential piece of your family, not the only one. You deserve rest in your body and your mind without narrating a guilt spiral the whole time. If you’ve ever felt anxious under the covers instead of actually recovering, this episode is your permission to be sick, be cared for, and stop apologizing for being human.
Stop Trying to Fix Your Whole Life in January: Mental Load, Resolutions, and Real Rest
16:16|January isn’t a fresh start if you’re already running on fumes from making everyone else’s holidays magical. In this episode of MissPerceived, Leah unpacks why so many women swing from December over-giving straight into “new year, new me” overachieving—launching businesses, overhauling their bodies, and rewriting their whole lives before February even hits.She breaks down the mental load hangover, why perfectionist resolutions backfire, and how to set goals that are actually aligned with your values, your energy, and your real life. You’ll hear why you don’t need to shrink, hustle, or “upgrade” yourself to deserve rest, and how to enter 2026 from a place of “I’m already enough” instead of “I am the project.”If you’re tired of vision boards, bingo-card resolutions, and self-improvement that feels like self-punishment, this one’s your permission slip to do less, eat carbs, and build a life that expands you instead of drains you.