Let's Talk About Narcissism with Megan McLaren
On today’s episode of the StephUp Podcast, join me in a lovely and fun chat with social worker, behavioural life consultant and coach, Megan McLaren.
Megan shares what a day in her life is like working with patients with mental health, chronic disease management as a social worker and then supporting and encouraging people as a life coach. Since there are so many tools and information out there, it can be good but also overwhelming and that is where Megan’s education and social work also helps her life coach clients.
I asked Megan about how some personal development teaching can be stressful and damaging. She says some people glamourize the “hustle culture” but true change takes time. It’s important to take out “only” in our wording; celebrate all your accomplishments, no matter how small.
Megan advises that it can be difficult to diagnose narcissism. There are different traits (grandiose feelings and infatuation of themselves, think they know everything, having unrealistic expectations, emotionally neglectful, not empathetic, etc). If a person has just a few of the narcissistic traits, they probably aren’t.
Narcissists are very manipulative. They can be covert (subtle, passive aggressive) or overt which is more obvious. They are attracted to people with good traits and seek them out. Megan also advises that narcissism is a learnt behaviour. Many times, it comes from trauma. There is no cure for narcissism, but psychotherapy can be a help for narcissists.
“A narcissist can sniff out good traits in a person and so they are going to play on all those wonderful traits and exploit those. They are a master in that exploitation.”
Megan shares some techniques to stand your ground with a narcissist:
1) Set boundaries and stand firm with them
2) Don’t engage in arguments
3) Distance yourself
4) Find a good community
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6. That Was 100 Stephanies Ago21:39“I said that?! I did that?! I believed that?! I thought that?!”We are all in different places at various times in our lives. If we look back at 5, 20, 40 years ago, we can see how many changes have taken place within us. It can be hard to look back and acknowledge that was you and that was embarrassing what you said or did, but it was also a previous version of you.That was you and that was where you were at in that moment during that time. We are all human and we all know what that feels like. Give yourself grace and recognize how far you’ve come.
5. Love Your Body27:35“Thank you, body!” Have you ever said that to your body? Do you ever look at it and just thank it and love it? We put our bodies through so much. Add to that all the shame, addiction, self-harm, hatred, etc. Our trauma is trapped within our bodies. Let us free our bodies from the pain. I free myself. I love myself. I thank myself.Accept and feel it. Feel the gratitude. Feel the beauty. Your body knows when you start to love yourself. Everything is connected. Let’s start speaking kindly to our bodies and help to heal ourselves from so much pain.
4. Do You Really Need To Know?21:09I've been asked before if I really needed to know what's within me and what's in my past. Sometimes, it's really not helpful to know and for some people maybe it isn't. For me, it was important to know myself; to know why I did what I did and how I tick. I had to go to the past to understand myself in order to adjust and move forward in my future. Only you can really answer if you really need to know.
3. Taking Back Our Power on Beauty Standards01:46:05This is a live talk I did on the Wisdom App where I opened up a discussion about beauty standards. I want to thank the amazing guests that came on to share their thoughts and experiences on what it means to be beautiful and how the beauty standards that we were told were important have affected us over the years.
2. Judging Myself Becomes A Barrier12:11What causes you to freeze up and second guess yourself on everything? We judge ourselves all the time and it can become such a barrier in our lives. It is such a human thing and we all do it. Those who can overcome are the ones who can let go and find empowerment in spite of it.
1. Being Uniquely You25:31There is only one you. We've all heard this before about how we are all unique but do we really believe it? And how do we find out who we really are?It comes down to know yourself to grow yourself to heal yourself. And repeat. It's a circular movement that will continue to propel you forward as you uncover new layers within yourself. Make mistakes and learn from them. Listen to your inner voice and make more mistakes. Pivot and try something different so you can find out who you are and be uniquely you.
Seeking Soulful Evolution Amidst the Noise03:31I'm back for season 3 of the StephUp Podcast! The past 2 seasons I've had wonderful conversations with guests but I'm switching it up for season 3. It will be just me getting on the MIC as I seek soulful evolution amidst the noise.
Thank you and Goodbye?14:20Thank you for listening to the StephUp Podcast over the past 2 seasons. I’ve learned a lot over the last few years and so much of that is due to the podcast. I spoke to so many amazing guests who taught me a lot. Speaking out has helped me to be more articulate and figure out who I am as a person. While I've enjoyed doing this podcast and all I've learned, it is time for me to move on. This may be for good or it might just be for a long season.Remember, your feelings and experience are valid. If people try to tell you otherwise, they do not know what it is like to be you or to have been you. Find your safe people, those who let you work things out and figure things out on your own and don't feel the need to step over your boundaries. Safe people are those who don't just swoop in to tell you what they think you should do. Be passionate. Be your unique self. Be you.Thank you.Follow StephUp Podcast on Instagram, Twitter, and her website at www.stephanieannwebb.com.Buy Steph's book, “What Should Dragon Do?”Support the podcast: Buy Me A Coffee
24. Let's Talk About Fame & Personal Development with Randy Spelling56:19Author, life coach & motivational speaker, Randy Spelling returns to close out season 2 of the StephUp Podcast as we talk about fame and personal development.Being rich and famous seems glamorous to the rest of us but it isn’t all it seems. Randy talks about some of the good and bad aspects and what it felt like growing up in this environment. His father, Hollywood producer, Aaron Spelling, created some of our favourite shows: “Beverly Hills 90210”, “Melrose Place, “7th Heaven” and more. Randy left Hollywood and is now a life coach and motivational speaker who loves to help people find their own way and success in life.Randy and I discuss the fear of putting yourself out there, why conversations are important (especially when we disagree), why being rich and famous doesn’t make you happy and why personal development is important.“The human experience can be hard and brutal sometimes, so let’s make it more beautiful and more fun while embracing the hard aspects of life, and love each other as best we can.”Check out Randy on the socials on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and his websiteBuy Randy’s book, “Unlimiting You” on Amazon.comFollow StephUp Podcast on Instagram, Twitter, and her website at www.stephanieannwebb.com.Buy Steph's book, “What Should Dragon Do?”Support the podcast: Buy Me A Coffee