Your Kickstarter Sucks

Hey! We’re all in the metaverse! When ya comin’ by? And by “we” I mean, it’s like me, and a bunch of kids, and some drunk guys, and a comedy club. And we are just kind of floating around in mid-air. And it sounds really weird in here because we’re all on headset microphones. And there’s nothing to do. Anyway, can you spend like $400 to get in here please? Before it closes? Meanwhile, in meatspace, today’s show has got everything you need to remotely grill chicken thighs from down the street, force your kid to sit up straight with a screeching robot, and get the REAL news (from a Christian guy). Bzzt! Reminder! Download this episode now! It’s an all-new YKS! This episode description was written by one of the lowest-regarded free-to-use AIs.  Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. They say there’s no time like the present…but how about a present that is time! That is, more or less, what we’re doing over at YKS Premium this month as we celebrate Farrarch: Time Marches On, a month of time-centric flicks that only an idiot could love. Speaking of which, last week’s episode was all about idiots, as we brought in our friends Tom Walker and Demi Lardner to riff on the documentary Idiocracy! And this week on the show, our colleague in the “capitalism is bad” space Riley Quinn (Trashfuture) joins for, well, a movie about how capitalism is bad: In Time (2011)! This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor - When the Factor box shows up at the JF household…you know we’re about to go wild. Folks, I love my quick and healthy lunches so much they don’t even have to taste good to make me happy. But thank goodness they do anyway. Head to FACTORMEALS.com/yks50 and use code YKS50 to get 50% off your first box and join in on the “yum”! AthleticGreens - I’m a big fan of gut health; always have been. So when I found out about Athletic Greens, the slightly tropical vitamin and adaptogen blend that actually can improve that very same health, I was practically floored. But it’s true! Start your day the JF way with AG1, and get a 1 year supply of Vitamin D + 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/YKS.Tech - Got a website? Well you probably have a domain! Don’t feel bad if you didn’t know it, because frankly most of the domains out there are boring, bland, and just plain easy to overlook. Stand out from the crowd with a .Tech domain…basically it’s the “cool domain”. That’s why we’re on it! “Go” to go.tech/yks and get an automatic 15% discount on 1 year and 5 year .Tech Domains. 

I’m watching one of those stupid pawn shows while I’m sitting here writing this episode description out, and man, are these the stupidest shows ever made or what? I mean I don’t know who is watching them, other than total morons, because they don’t say anything worth a damn and it’s so boring it puts me to sleep. Then you got the ads, and they’re even worse! Next thing you know, they’ll be asking you to subscribe just to hear even more of their inane crap? God, don’t give them any ideas. Anyway, call in your friends the Piss Whizzard, the Kickstarter CEO, and Billy West, and crack open a Pepsi of Shame, cause it’s time for an all new YKS!  Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Some day the aliens will come to Earth and give us the power to experience funny ass jokes and moderately informative film criticism simultaneously. Until then, we’ll all have to settle for 3 boneheads making dick jokes and talking about movies: Farrarch! This past Friday we had one of the all time great boneheads Chris James uncork Jesseuary IV with a great flick, 2016’s Arrival. And just in case you thought we were gonna get any less boneheaded, we got our buddy Tim Kalpakis back for next week’s episode on the great Rian Johnson’s Looper! It’s a bonehead meeting, and you’re invited, only at YKS Premium. This week’s YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Athletic Greens - Vitamins…now that’s what I call adaptogens! With AG1 I’m getting all that stuff in one swig rather than 50 different pills and capsules and so forth. Pretty good! Get a free 1 yr supply of Vitamin D (good vitamin) and 5 travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/yksFactor - Meals and food! Meals and food! We love em around here, and Factor’s got some nice quick, ready to heat and eat meals they’ll send right to ya. Get 50% off your first box at FactorMeals.com/YKS50RocketMoney - We all have too many subscriptions…well I have the perfect amount but I have heard that some people have too many. There should be an easy way to get control of one’s spending, maybe with an app or something??? Oh well! RocketMoney.com/yksBetterHelp - Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yks

Hey Lois! Bring me one of those episodes of that show I like listening to so much. Oh Peter, you stupid son of a bitch, fine! It’s an all-new YKS! On today’s show we got an attachment for a vacuum cleaner even less useful than that stupid little brush one that doesn’t spin, porno puzzles, and a floaty that lets everyone know you’re a stupid piece of shit! That would be more than enough for one episode, but of course as you know we normally have 6 Kickstarters and I’ve pretty much only named 3 here in the episode description so there are probably at least 3 not as notable ones left to hear in the show. Plus the episode title is 1. So smash that play button and hear the last 2 Kickstarters we did this week, in addition to the ripoff Switch game. Oh no!! Crap!!  Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Jesseuary Returns. This March. Only on YKS Premium. This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:NordVPN - EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!HelloFresh - (To the tune of that classic hair metal song) Meals! Meals! Meals! Gang, let me tell you, we love HelloFresh in this house. Quick, easy, and oh so good, you can almost always find me cookin’ up a box of these good eats! Grab one yourself at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks65 for 65% off plus free shipping!