Your Kickstarter Sucks

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Episode 235: The Cableman's Lament

Look to your right. Look to your left. Both of the people sitting next to you are Jon Voight, and they are both doing the most insane accent you've ever heard in your life. That's what these teachers in our woke schools want these days, and the Demonrat politicians are just cowardly enough to give it to them! Now what on God's green earth could I be talking about? There's only one way to find out. You're gonna have to go Blair Witch Mode and grab a Sausage McMuckin, and oh my God I just got a "too many characters" warning in this episode description box hahaha. This shit is long as hell (I wrote it in reverse order). Bye


Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.


Now folks, I won't presume to tell you what to do with your own money. But from time time, it's been asked, "Where do I go to get more YKS?" [citation needed] And by god, the only place I've ever found any more of the stuff is over at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. Bummer, right? Believe me, if there were another way to go about it, I'd be the FIRST one to tell you. But right now, as it stands, any YKS fan in need of a few extra laughs simply must pony up a nominal amount of dough for access to YKS Premium.


This week's YKS is sponsored by Truebill. I've been seeing these commercials lately, and the guy who came up with Truebill says he hasn't looked at his credit card bill in a long time. Well he's probably pretty busy and honestly ya know what, they do put a lot of lines on there with all the numbers and crap. Who knows what's on there! That's somebody else's problem. Tell ya what, if you'd like to save a few bucks without the hassle of the whole envelope rigamarole, check 'em out at Truebill.com/YKS.


Also hookin it up BIG TIME on this episode? Athletic Greens! You know how I feel about tropical flavors. I am absolutely wild for them, whether it's in my cup or in my mouth. And when those AG1 adaptogens go to town on my gut health...that's when I know it's time to take on my to-do list (normally it's like, eat some lunch or something). Put your guts on notice and get a year's supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs of AG1 at AthleticGreens.com/YKS.


Finally, this portion of the episode description bloc just wouldn't be this portion of the episode description bloc without BetterHelp. You know, I think it would look kinda cool if they stylized it like this: betterhelp. Just kind of a casual way of doing it. Research indicates this would appeal to...millennials. Or whatever the good one is now. But that's above my pay grade quite honestly and I'm just the amazingly talented, charismatic ad copy in the episode description bloc guy. And now for my speciality, the call to action. Try betterhelp out today and get 10% off your first month at Betterhelp.com/YKS.

More Episodes

5/16/2022

Episode 251: Constitution 2

Great news, everyone! We just found out we’ve been renewed for another 250 episodes! To celebrate, we’ve decided to bring back some of the classic YKS things you all loved so much, with a fun “Next 250 Episodes” twist. This week, you’ll enjoy a stupid piece of bathroom tech, some rebadged bulk dropshipped electronics, and a weird guy with ideas about how he could run the country. But THIS time, we will sound approximately 5 years older. And that’s just a taste of what we have in store for you all this time around. So if that sounds like the ride of a lifetime, slap that motherfuckin play button and let’s fast forward to our 40s baby! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium – the ONLY place to double your YKS fun, every single damn week! Now with video! See if you can pause on the spliced in scenes of our balls!This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:Schedule35 - “Psilocybin”...the word on the tip of everybody’s tongue! Seems like it might be good for mental health, and like all stuff of that nature, Schedule35 ships quickly and discreetly! Figure out what microdosing means, and use code YKS to get 15% off your order. Oh, It means small dose. Yep. Makes sense.AthleticGreens - Everyone forgets our humble guts. Sure we put food in there. But shouldn’t there be some other stuff that happens to it as well? The founder of Athletic Greens sure thought so. And before succumbing to “Vitamin Madness”, he developed the tasty and nutritious AG1 formula. Thank goodness! Check ‘em out at athleticgreens.com/YKS and get a year’s supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs, on us.Faherty - It’s springtime, guess I’ll just wear my shorts…wait a minute,all my shorts suck? And are ugly?? Well good thing Faherty is out there making their high quality and dare I say, rather handsome, shorts (and other stuff!) Grab some for yourself, with 20% off, at FahertyBrand.com/YKS.BetterHelp - Therapy kicks ass. I’d rather go to it than do a bunch of other stuff…including make a podcast! But I find time for both, because they’re important. Anyway, maybe you should try it too. Therapy, not doing a podcast. That’s my thing. Lay the hell off my thing! Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yks
5/9/2022

Episode 250: Cousin Jabba / Jimmy John’s Locker

Two Hundred Fifty episodes. Now that's what I call a very significant milestone. Even though some of the episodes were reruns from YKS Premium. Oh yeah, and there are hundreds of YKS Premium episodes too. So is this really 250, when it's actually like 482? Yep. That's what the number says, so that's what it is.On today's 250th episode, which is the number that it is, we're dealing with our 3 Foes, cooking toxins, and Mike's Little Freakout Pile. Plus we got a cool book for kids...who like motorcycles, a guy doing some 2007 style YouTube stuff...today, and yet another porch package device...with a twist! And a very special anniversary edition of Real or Fake. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For ad-free versions of YKS and much more, head on over to patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. Just a straightforward plug. Nothing wrong with that sometimes. Not everything has to be a joke!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Truebill - You know, I happen to cherish and love every one of my subscriptions equally. But I understand if you don’t. Maybe ya got tricked or flim flammed, I don’t know! Let TrueBill help sort ‘em out for you, at Truebill.com/YKSFactor - I hate dinner! Why did I choose to cook it! Oh yeah…now thanks to Factor, I don’t have to. Click on this normal URL here: https://go.factor75.com/yks120 or use that code YKS120 for $120 off your order!BetterHelp - I get by, with a little help, from myself…RT if you think that’s what the famous song SHOULD say! Gang, it stinks but sometimes you gotta get in there and do something nice for yourself. Sometimes it’s eating a big dagwood sandwich, and sometimes it’s going to therapy. We don’t have a cold cuts sponsor, so try out BetterHelp for 10% off your first month with the code YKS instead.NordVPN - 🌏 Exclusive! Grab the NordVPN deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKS Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! ✌ I heard that!!
5/2/2022

Episode 249: He Admit it!

Whether you’re driving in the car, folding your laundry at home, or simply falling asleep and hoping there’s not a super loud fart noise piped into the mix from totally out of nowhere, there’s no better podcast airing its 249th episode today than Your Kickstarter Sucks. On today’s program we lament the passing of Midwest Elvis, 86 our friend Mike Hale, and prove once and for all what the shape of Earth actually is.I think I forgot to say that David sent that Kickstarter in, and I can’t really go back and add that into the show, but I wanted to say it here in case David reads the episode descriptions. The problem is that we are using a dark mode extension for Google Docs and it makes basically all the colors but white hard to read. And I put “From David” in a red text, but it showed up really dark red. So that is my bad on that one David and oh yeah by the way, the earth is flat so I shouldn’t have done the Kickstarter anyway. CreditsMusic for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Did you guys see where a bunch of NFT apes got stolen or sold or faked or something? Something probably happened with the apes, I think? Well, that will NEVER happen when you subscribe to YKS Premium. Last week we talked with the wonderful Zoë Ligon, in a delightful episode many are calling “very pornographic”. This week, who knows, maybe we’ll have Elon Musk on! Wouldn’t that be funny as hell!This week’s YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Athletic Greens - Energy in the morning? Yes, it’s possible, thanks to the fine folks at Athletic Greens and their AG1 vitamin blend. And it tastes pretty good too, unlike “you know what”! Try it for your own self at AthleticGreens.com/YKS and get a free year’s supply of Vitamin D and travel packs as well.HelloFresh - You know, in the old days, “getting fresh” with someone was NOT something to be proud of. Nowadays, “getting fresh” food is actually good! My, how times change. So change with them! Get up to 16 free meals plus free shipping when you use the code YourKickstarterSucks16 at HelloFresh!Honey - Coupon codes are truly a double edged sword. The first edge of the sword is the saving money part. But the other edge, which is not as good, is the one where you have to REMEMBER the stinking things. Too hard! Download Honey to day at JoinHoney.com/YKS and kiss the bad edge of your swords goodbye!NordVPN - “🌏 Exclusive! Grab the NordVPN deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKS Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! ✌” Yup. Nuff said.