Your Kickstarter Sucks

9/26/2022

Episode 270: The Weird Episode

It’s a SAD one today, folks, as we show up an absolutely insulting 9 minutes late to a funeral. And it’s for one of our best friends, who has been with us through hard times and soft…Taco Bell. Plus, we got horny monsters, and geometric cat shit, and a return to a certain awesome feline’s cinematic universe. All that and about 5-7 decent riffs that would be in a big YouTube compilation if we ever got our shit together enough to make one. And it’s free! So what the fuck! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.It’s almost the end of September…hm…what month comes after that, I wonder? Only one place to find out: YKS Premium. This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor: You know how they say there are 2.5M ants per person on Earth? Well what if you ate a big sandwich that had all those ants in it for lunch? Wouldn’t be very good, right? Yeah, that’s why I prefer Factor: it’s healthy, delicious, and convenient. And you can use code YKS130 to get $130 off across 6 boxes at go.factor75.com/yks130. And they won’t send you a bunch of ants.Honey - I really respect my friends at Honey. All they wanna do is save me a few bucks on my purchases at checkout, and they do it. And that’s called setting an intention. Thank you, Honey, for modeling this effective behavior. joinhoney.com/yksNordVPN - EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!
9/19/2022

Episode 269: The Dream Episode

You ever get the feeling you’re…in a dream? We’ve all heard of Stranger Things, but that was just a show…right? On today’s episode, the thin line between reality and…something else begins to fray. And YKS may never be the same. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Want more YKS? Yep. I betcha do. Then you’re gonna want to head on over to patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks and sign up for YKS Premium – Da Best Deal In Da Biz (™) Last week, we had the great David Roth on to preview NFL Week 2 and put Dumpy Trump in his cheesetacular place (jail?). This week, you’ve got even MORE episodes to look forward to – this one will probably be about the Woke Pilots we talked about on today’s show and some bad Kickstarters that Missed The Cut, but I’ll let ya know when we release it. Plus, we can’t forget the Squeeze Louise mailbag coming out at the end of the month – all in beautiful HD video! Check it out if you need more stuff to look at. This week’s episode is brought to you by these fine sponsors:HelloFresh - Yum yum yum! That’s the type of stuff a certain blue dessert goblin might say when eating his favorite chocolate chip whatever. But us regular folks, we need lean protein and green veggies and fruit and stuff like that. So send some to yourself! It’ll work on any “Street”! Get 16 free meals and 3 free gifts at hellofresh.com/yourkickstartersucks16Policygenius - Insurance is maybe not the most fun thing in the world to buy. But you gotta do it. I had the same situation and went on Policygenius, bingo bango, I got insurance now. I’m untouchable now! And you can be too. Get some insurance for your own self at Policygenius.comBetterHelp - Talking to someone else about your problems is great. Some people even have a job where that’s what they do for some reason. But if you don’t have that kinda gig, or hell, maybe especially if you do, therapy is a pretty good idea. And going online for it? You already know! Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yks
9/12/2022

Episode 268: The Day Popcorn Changed Forever

On today’s episode, we got some good ass shit goin, okay? If you like $50 bills and ethical dogfighting, you’re gonna like this episode, alright? And if you’re into tape measures that can store all your measurements, putting baseball cards in coffee beans, and flushing bags of dog shit down the toilet, you’re gonna be doin’ just fine for this one too. There’s something for everyone here this week, as long as they like at least one of those specific things and don’t hate one of the other ones so much that it takes away from their enjoyment of the one they do like. Got it?! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For more YKS Premium, head on over to YKS Premium. Oh crud. Hang on. I think I messed up! I was supposed to say that differently! But you get the idea. Support the show on Patreon for ad-free episodes, hundreds of hours of bonus content, and more. Last week we had our friend Libby Watson on for a special, mournful edition of Rubbish Lads…and thanks to the integratedPatreon video player’s somewhat less draconian approach to DMCA enforcement, our Squeeze Louise subscribers get all the clips we watched, and our incredible reactions (that’s called Fair Use!), for just $8/month. Coming up this week on YKS Premium: Writer and Trump-knower, David Roth! This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor - Factor: Now Serving: Yum Yum Yum! Get $130 off at Go.Factor75.com/yks130Athletic Greens - I love a somewhat fruity taste. I would honestly drink that even if it was bad for me. Luckily, it’s not! It’s good. Cause it’s green, baby! Get 1 year supply Vitamin D (great vitamin type) and 5 free travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/YKSRocket Money - New name alert! TrueBill is dead, long live Rocket Money! Save yourself the headache of all these bills and whatnot, and get on a spaceship to Planet Savings, with Rocket Money! Check em out at rocketmoney.com/yks. BetterHelp GoodHelp is good, but…yeah, there’s room for improvement there. That’s why they invented BetterHelp: the place where you can go and talk to some folks and you don’t have to let anyone look at ya! Good deal. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS
9/5/2022

Episode 267: Parties Remembered

Hey just so you know, the movie I was trying to think of was The Void. It doesn’t come up until way later in the episode, and it does seem like I’m about to get it but honestly I don’t. I get kinda close and then about 5 minutes after we’re done, I figure it out. It ain’t all happy endings, folks. Anyway on today’s show, we’re tossing and turning over Dan’s Proposition, oh and we’re sleepkicking a little bit sure, and we’re telling you why Bill Gates stuck us all with Micro$uck Winblows. Plus a bunch of crap to help you sleep different and eat weirder. It’s YKS time baby! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.I looooooove YKS Premium so much…I might just marry it! And you are invited to the ceremonies. You can be a guest with access to hundreds of hours of bonus audio content, a member of the wedding party, privy to tons of video episodes and a special VIP Squeeze Louise reception, or you can straight up marry DB if you want. I don’t give a damn. More free food for me!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Spectrum Boutique Our friend Zoë Ligon has a dildo shop! We talked with her on YKS Premium a few months ago about the importance of pleasure and the rather unique ways people have figured out to get their nutt off. Good news! You can buy a lot of those at Spectrum! Use promo code YKS for 10% off and tell our friend Zoë that the YKS boys want ya to cum! HelloFresh Hello, hello, hello, Fresh. Yum yum yum. Food is good. And it’s nice to eat. Of course you know the rest. We all do. That’s what makes this country great! It’s 2022, why aren’t we getting food in the mail? Oh wait…we are! And it’s pretty good food, too. Thanks, HelloFresh! Get 16 free meals at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks16Backbone Gamer Alert! Like playing games? Have a phone? Well Backbone, the best controller for mobile gaming, is for you! Don’t like playing games? No problem, it probably helps you check your emails in a super fun way. Call your mom while using the Backbone. What will happen? Not sure! Get access to over 350 games and perks for FREE at PlayBackbone.com/YKSBetterHelp I get by with a little help…from the computer! What! Yep that’s right. Ringo was wrong, and we have evolved past the need for friends. Alright well maybe it would be good to get some friends still. I’m thinking sometime in my 40s? Until then, there’s therapy. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS
8/29/2022

Episode 266: Toilet Steamies

Monday morning...oh shucks. I was just getting to love the weekend, and now it's gone! Maybe Monday should be the weekend too. Then we'd start the week on Tuesday, nice and fresh. I guess then Tuesday would be the new Monday. Garfield would be fucking pissed, but who cares about that racist? That's right, Garfield the cat was racist. I mean, probably, right? That was a long time ago. It would almost be surprising if he weren't. Piece of shit. Anyway on today's show we've doing a lunchbag takeover with our friend Dan the Glizzy King, getting favstar notifications for our weather reports, and doing the world's shortest update on an old Kickstarter. Plus, Master P is on this one. Remember that guy? Yep, we did too. That's why we did it. Anyway, check it out. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Often it has been said, "YKS is the cure for the common podcast"! And by many highly intelligent, very empathetic, and physically strong individuals, to boot! But what if, every now and then, you felt like you needed a lil booster shot? That's where YKS Premium comes in. Every week, and also sometimes it's two times in one week for some absurd reason, the YKS crew injects you with another hour of fresh content. And best of all, it's all ad-free, available in beautiful HD video, and only occasionally about Kickstarter. YKS Premium...have a seat and squirt some of it in your arm! This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:Factor: Fresh, healthy meals delivered straight to my front door? Buhh? That's the thing I use to go outside! Well, now it's time to use it for something else. To get food. Try it for yourself and get $130 off at go.factor75.com/yks130Honey: Coupon codes: friend or foe? Sometimes, I just don't know. It seems like they want to help, but they're so hard to find, and sometimes they don't work. It's almost enough to make you give up on them altogether. We need an ally in the Coupon Wars. That's where Honey comes in. Check it out at JoinHoney.com/YKS
8/22/2022

Episode 265: The Cat Who Took A Nap

YKS freaks...you're gonna love this one. Mike is here, JF too, and oh yeah...a guy by the name of PRODUCER DAN shows up? Heard of him?? Thought so. It's a jam-packed ep this week, as the boys are talkin robotic lawncare, the future of porno, and a third thing you're gonna have to hear to believe. Plus...Ask Yoda App?? Someone got there before us? What the hell?? Fuck! So grab the Stinker Sauce and start squirtin' it around...it's a new YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Ready to take this YKS thing up a notch? Check out YKS Premium. It's so much fun, it should be illegal! But if it was, it would be like a super huge problem for me. It would be incredibly bad. Like, life-ruining. So let's call our senators, gang. Or whatever. This week's episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Backbone - Hey you got any games on your phone? Well now you do. Backbone's controller makes playing mobile games even better...the only problem is when your annoying family calls you in the middle of a round! Boo family! Yay Backbone! Get yours today, plus a bunch of free stuff at playbackbone.com/yksBetterHelp - Taking care of yourself...what a chore! That's why I like to get someone else in the mix. You know, let them do some of the heavy lifting. Meanwhile, I'm just kind of chilling, right? Hanging back. This is why therapists are so important. Just one man's view, anyway! Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/yksDiet Smoke - Folks, getting too high can be pretty rough. But on the other hand, what are you gonna do, sit around NOT high? That's why they made Diet Smoke. It's weed, but right in the sweet spot! And legal! Cool! Get 20% off your order -- forever -- at DietSmoke.com with promo code YKS.
8/15/2022

Episode 264: 1 Trick Egg

Damn! I need a low-consumption and energy-saving ice-making cooling cup. But where in the hell…oh! I guess I can get it just about every week on Kickstarter: the website that used to be about cryptocurrency, we think. Gang, on today’s show we’re gettin the monchies, okay? We’re going eemee meemee mimee mow, okay? And we’re extracting chicken tendons like there’s no tomorrow. But god willing, there will be a tomorrow. Because there has to be. Because there needs to be. And if there’s not, we’ll make one. For everyone. What the fuck? I don’t know why I said that, sorry. I think I downloaded the Kamala Harris program or something. Anyway enjoy the program. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium is so much fun…YKS Premium is Number One! That’s sort of an alternate history theme song. In a timeline where I wrote the theme songs and really didn’t spend too much time on them…because I was also a world-class glass blowing artisan! Wow! Somebody call the guy who wrote all those alternate histories! Anyway, YKS Premium was a great one last week with the Erin, Adal, and JPC of Hey Riddle Riddle. And this week is exactly the same, except instead of hilarious guests and a cool idea, it’s just the two regular guys with no ideas. Tune in to hear all about “The Goated Player”’s posts of the week, help us decide “What” to “Fund”, and later this month, our Squeeze Louise exclusive mailbag episode drops! Check it out at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksThis episode of YKS is sponsored by BetterHelp. I guess if you really think about it, your brain is pretty important. Hey, you just used it to have that last thought, right? Well, keep the good thoughts rolling and try some dang therapy. Now, it’s online! Get 10% off your first month at Betterhelp.com/yks
8/8/2022

Episode 263: And Even More!

You know, it’s not every day that a brand new episode of YKS comes out and immediately gets downloaded to your phone, and you let it suck up 100mb of space while you wait for some bad chores to zone out during. It’s actually every Monday, and as luck would have it, that’s the day of the week that today is! So we put together some questions for our resident Earologist, named the TV Bitch, and remembered fondly the Music City Miracle, plus exposed cancel culture, ate some panties, and made some songs with a computer. Alright, I think that’s good enough to fold laundry to. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt. YKS Premium! It seems hard to believe at times, but there is even more YKS available for listening and viewing! Check us out over at Patreon to catch up on YKS Beach Party, to see our faces move around when we talk, and get our exclusive mailbag episodes! Coming up this week on YKS Premium: our new friends from Hey Riddle Riddle join us and we try to “Stump the Schwab” them! But instead of stumping, it’s Jokeblogger and Facebook riddles, and instead of Schwab, it’s Erin, Adal, and JPC. Stump the Schwab is a sports trivia show that aired on ESPN 2 about 20 years ago. But what I’m talking about comes out on Friday!  This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Factor - Now you know they call me Mr. Food for a reason – I’m always eating the stuff! But my word does it get tiring, all the planning and prepping and stuff. Well Factor said, “Forget about it!” and put some of the nice food in a box so they can mail it to you! Nice! I love mail! Get $120 off at go.factor75.com/yks120 Athletic Greens - Green: it’s one of the colors on the big color wheel and rainbow and stuff, but it’s also something you can eat that gives you energy and vitamins and extra HP. Get 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/yks Betterhelp - Help! I need somebody! Help! Probably can’t write out the rest of the lyrics for copyright reasons, and also I should say, I wasn’t writing lyrics, I was just talking out loud. And I was using voice to text. And it was my neighbor talking. Anyway sometimes you need some help, and for my money, therapy’s a good place to get it. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS
8/1/2022

Episode 262: Everythings Good

What’s this episode of YKS about? Well, I can tell you what it’s NOT about: saturated fat, trans fat, cholesterol, dietary fiber, total sugars, added sugars, vitamin D, calcium, iron, or potassium. Plus it comes in a small aluminum can with a “color swirl design”, and can be purchased in quantities of 8 or 24. And it tastes alright once you get to be in your 30s. Plus, we’re talking woke fetuses, sales couches, and morbin’ time. Basically a bunch of stupid crap you can see if you go on the computer. And I shoved a “Beach Plum” up my ass. Whatever that is. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium! The only place they let us actually be ourselves! This past week, we finished up YKS Beach Party with the one and only Howell Dawdy! Join us for an in-depth discussion of Miss Cast Away and the Island Girls, aka Silly Movie 2. Was it Jacko’s finest work? Well, uh. No! But it was fun anyway. Plus, tomorrow, the Squeeze Louise Mailbag drops! Get YKS Premium today or upgrade your sub to see all our video episodes at Patreon.com/YourKickstarterSucksThis episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:HelloFresh - Meals = Food. imagine I just wrote that on the chalkboard at the front of the class. Intimidating, huh? Well, it shouldn’t be. Ideally, you should have this stuff sent to your house in a big box, which you can then open up with like a knife or fork or something. Then it’s time to eat. And hey, you already got the knife and fork. Nice! Get 16 free meals and 3 free gifts at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks16 BetterHelp - I love my brain! But damn it needs to get it in gear sometimes. That’s why I get plenty of sleep, do my little exercises, and yes, go to therapy! It’s all part of whipping my brain into submission. Throw in going on the computer as well? Forget about it! Get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/yks