Your Kickstarter Sucks

5/23/2022

Episode 252: The One With The Two Guys Talking

Straight from Jacko’s hyperbolic chamber…it’s the YKS boys! On today’s show we’re doing all kinds of fun shit. First you got this Mike guy, who knows a lot about the TV show Friends. Then you got this JF character, and whoaaa boy, look out for that guy. And when they both get the woke mind virus? Ah golly! Well, let’s just hope they had enough time to go over a crazy new hot box for your cats, a crypto tracker just in time for crypto’s great resurgence, and an app where you can ask someone to send you a picture of a hotel room before you book it. Heh. Something tells me there was plenty of time. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium…oh my god, I love it! That’s why I go to patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks, to sign up and then pay for it. It’s good to do this!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Schedule35 - Now normally I hate having a schedule…but on the other hand, that stuff is straight up cool to have sometimes! And so, quite frankly, are microdoses of magic mushrooms. That’s why we turn to Schedule35. Use promo code YKS to get 15% off your order…hey man, have a nice trip!Athletic Greens - “Good health begins at the gut.” - Unknown. This sounds like something someone has said at one point in time, doesn’t it? Imagine if it were a kind of cool font, and maybe it’s framed too. Or, like, stitched or something. And it’s in a kitchen? Wow. Anyway, Athletic Greens has an absolutely wild amount of vitamins in there, and it can go in your kitchen too. Hell, it’s in mine. Go to AthleticGreens.com/YKS for a nice little gift and to help out da show. And your gut!Outer - Outdoors…you’ve heard of it. It’s the place where your computer isn’t. But still, it’s good to go there sometimes. And you go out there and you’re sitting on your milk crate and your table is one of those big electric spools, and you think…boy there’s got to be a better way! Well, there is, and it’s called Outer. Get $300 off at liveouter.com/yks and start outdoorsing the YKS Way!BetterHelp - The human brain is a funny thing. But at times, it’s no laughing matter. Hey, don’t try to figure that out all on your own. Ask a pro for help and, you never know, maybe something cool will happen! Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS.
5/16/2022

Episode 251: Constitution 2

Great news, everyone! We just found out we’ve been renewed for another 250 episodes! To celebrate, we’ve decided to bring back some of the classic YKS things you all loved so much, with a fun “Next 250 Episodes” twist. This week, you’ll enjoy a stupid piece of bathroom tech, some rebadged bulk dropshipped electronics, and a weird guy with ideas about how he could run the country. But THIS time, we will sound approximately 5 years older. And that’s just a taste of what we have in store for you all this time around. So if that sounds like the ride of a lifetime, slap that motherfuckin play button and let’s fast forward to our 40s baby! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium – the ONLY place to double your YKS fun, every single damn week! Now with video! See if you can pause on the spliced in scenes of our balls!This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:Schedule35 - “Psilocybin”...the word on the tip of everybody’s tongue! Seems like it might be good for mental health, and like all stuff of that nature, Schedule35 ships quickly and discreetly! Figure out what microdosing means, and use code YKS to get 15% off your order. Oh, It means small dose. Yep. Makes sense.AthleticGreens - Everyone forgets our humble guts. Sure we put food in there. But shouldn’t there be some other stuff that happens to it as well? The founder of Athletic Greens sure thought so. And before succumbing to “Vitamin Madness”, he developed the tasty and nutritious AG1 formula. Thank goodness! Check ‘em out at athleticgreens.com/YKS and get a year’s supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs, on us.Faherty - It’s springtime, guess I’ll just wear my shorts…wait a minute,all my shorts suck? And are ugly?? Well good thing Faherty is out there making their high quality and dare I say, rather handsome, shorts (and other stuff!) Grab some for yourself, with 20% off, at FahertyBrand.com/YKS.BetterHelp - Therapy kicks ass. I’d rather go to it than do a bunch of other stuff…including make a podcast! But I find time for both, because they’re important. Anyway, maybe you should try it too. Therapy, not doing a podcast. That’s my thing. Lay the hell off my thing! Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yks
5/9/2022

Episode 250: Cousin Jabba / Jimmy John’s Locker

Two Hundred Fifty episodes. Now that's what I call a very significant milestone. Even though some of the episodes were reruns from YKS Premium. Oh yeah, and there are hundreds of YKS Premium episodes too. So is this really 250, when it's actually like 482? Yep. That's what the number says, so that's what it is.On today's 250th episode, which is the number that it is, we're dealing with our 3 Foes, cooking toxins, and Mike's Little Freakout Pile. Plus we got a cool book for kids...who like motorcycles, a guy doing some 2007 style YouTube stuff...today, and yet another porch package device...with a twist! And a very special anniversary edition of Real or Fake. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For ad-free versions of YKS and much more, head on over to patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. Just a straightforward plug. Nothing wrong with that sometimes. Not everything has to be a joke!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Truebill - You know, I happen to cherish and love every one of my subscriptions equally. But I understand if you don’t. Maybe ya got tricked or flim flammed, I don’t know! Let TrueBill help sort ‘em out for you, at Truebill.com/YKSFactor - I hate dinner! Why did I choose to cook it! Oh yeah…now thanks to Factor, I don’t have to. Click on this normal URL here: https://go.factor75.com/yks120 or use that code YKS120 for $120 off your order!BetterHelp - I get by, with a little help, from myself…RT if you think that’s what the famous song SHOULD say! Gang, it stinks but sometimes you gotta get in there and do something nice for yourself. Sometimes it’s eating a big dagwood sandwich, and sometimes it’s going to therapy. We don’t have a cold cuts sponsor, so try out BetterHelp for 10% off your first month with the code YKS instead.NordVPN - 🌏 Exclusive! Grab the NordVPN deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKS Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! ✌ I heard that!!
5/2/2022

Episode 249: He Admit it!

Whether you’re driving in the car, folding your laundry at home, or simply falling asleep and hoping there’s not a super loud fart noise piped into the mix from totally out of nowhere, there’s no better podcast airing its 249th episode today than Your Kickstarter Sucks. On today’s program we lament the passing of Midwest Elvis, 86 our friend Mike Hale, and prove once and for all what the shape of Earth actually is.I think I forgot to say that David sent that Kickstarter in, and I can’t really go back and add that into the show, but I wanted to say it here in case David reads the episode descriptions. The problem is that we are using a dark mode extension for Google Docs and it makes basically all the colors but white hard to read. And I put “From David” in a red text, but it showed up really dark red. So that is my bad on that one David and oh yeah by the way, the earth is flat so I shouldn’t have done the Kickstarter anyway. CreditsMusic for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Did you guys see where a bunch of NFT apes got stolen or sold or faked or something? Something probably happened with the apes, I think? Well, that will NEVER happen when you subscribe to YKS Premium. Last week we talked with the wonderful Zoë Ligon, in a delightful episode many are calling “very pornographic”. This week, who knows, maybe we’ll have Elon Musk on! Wouldn’t that be funny as hell!This week’s YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Athletic Greens - Energy in the morning? Yes, it’s possible, thanks to the fine folks at Athletic Greens and their AG1 vitamin blend. And it tastes pretty good too, unlike “you know what”! Try it for your own self at AthleticGreens.com/YKS and get a free year’s supply of Vitamin D and travel packs as well.HelloFresh - You know, in the old days, “getting fresh” with someone was NOT something to be proud of. Nowadays, “getting fresh” food is actually good! My, how times change. So change with them! Get up to 16 free meals plus free shipping when you use the code YourKickstarterSucks16 at HelloFresh!Honey - Coupon codes are truly a double edged sword. The first edge of the sword is the saving money part. But the other edge, which is not as good, is the one where you have to REMEMBER the stinking things. Too hard! Download Honey to day at JoinHoney.com/YKS and kiss the bad edge of your swords goodbye!NordVPN - “🌏 Exclusive! Grab the NordVPN deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKS Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! ✌” Yup. Nuff said.
4/25/2022

Episode 248: From Karen to Brandon

Oh my god…That’s what you’ll be saying when you hear this week’s episode of YKS, which is so full of awesome content I almost decided to rename it The Awesome Content Show. That’s right, I almost unilaterally made the decision to change the name of the show I do as a full time(ish) job from something identifiable, descriptive, and established (if a little mean) to “The Awesome Content Show”, an honorific perhaps only as blasé as it is inscrutable! Just playing. But keep in mind I could change the name of this show at any fuckin’ time I want. On today’s show, we’re talkin melty clocks, rich guys reinventing the bus, and the ethics of using a marinade on your chicken. Plus we spill the tea on what it’s like being live show superstars, after our recent standing ovation (maybe? Couldn’t bear to look straight ahead) at Zanies with the Doughboys. Download it now, you 8-digited Cro-magnonite!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.If YKS has a million fans I am one of them. If YKS has ten fans I am one of them. If YKS has only one fan, that is me. If YKS has no fans, that means I am no longer on Earth. For now, though, I am at YKS Premium.And this week on the show: sex educator Zoë Ligon teaches us how to do all that good stuff. Ohhhhh!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Birddogs - A couple weeks ago, if you had told me how much I’d love these pants with the underwear built into ‘em, I’d have said you were crazy. I mean, I already got underwear. What’s the point of putting it in the pants? Well, I don’t really know but I can tell you that my birddogs pants and shorts are now my everyday wear. I don’t know, man. They’re good! Try ‘em for yourself at Birddogs.com and get a free dad hat with the promo code YKS.Outer - Outdoor furniture…well I’ve heard of indoor furniture, but what, now I gotta have a couch outside? Yep. Sorry. You are in the 2 couch lifestyle now. And while you’re here, why not make sure you got the best looking, most weather-resistant, and hell, probably the most sustainable outdoor couch on the block? Save yourself $300 and get free shipping, too, at LiveOuter.com/YKS.BetterHelp - Stress stinks! Talking about stress with a qualified professional counselor? Now that’s what’s nice. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKSDiet Smoke - Ganja this, terpenes that. Hell, I don’t know, man. Just give me a nice little buzz that doesn’t turn me straight up wacky. That’s what they figured out with this Delta-8 stuff. And it works! Diet Smoke’s version, at least, tastes pretty good too. Give it a try, and get 20% off – forever! That’s right, keep on using the code, folks. They love it. Just head to DietSmoke.com, armed with the promo code YKS20. And slap it in there!
4/18/2022

Episode 247: Urber Eats

Hoppy Easter, Everyone! Well, Easter, of course, was yesterday, and I’d love to tell you we did something special for the holiday, but honestly I don’t think either one of us knew it was coming up when we recorded it. So instead, I believe this episode will be our usual mix of whiny complaints about aging, nutting in a condom jokes, somebody farting, something you won’t hear because we had Dan cut it out at the last minute, and maybe 1 or 2 Kickstarters. There’s gonna be a couple ads on the regular episode, and none if you’re on the ad-free Patreon. Plus, we will make the world a better place due to our good deeds. Oh yeah and Mike sticks an easter egg up his ass.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:Faherty - A lifetime guarantee of quality…one thing you’ll get with Faherty’s fine clothing that you will never see anywhere close to YKS. But they can back it up! This stuff is hella nice. Get 20% off your next springtime piece at FahertyBrand.com/yks with the code YKS!Diet Smoke - Folks, you know me. I am not the archetypal “Stoner God”. And yet, even a Cannabis Coward such as myself can handle the smooth, relaxing experience of Diet Smoke Delta-8 gummies. Celebrate 4/20 with 20% off your next legal high at DietSmoke.com and the code YKS20. And then keep the code + use it forever! It works!Athletic Greens - I hate my gut! Why did I put all this crap in it! Well, maybe I should put some better stuff in it. Which is why I got Athletic Greens’ AG1: a killer mix of vitamins, minerals, and adaptogens that finally has me and my gut getting along again. Get a free 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit Athleticgreens.com/YKS.BetterHelp - Helping people kicks ass. But did you forget…you are a person, as well? Ah! Try helping yourself out, while someone else helps you out as well, at BetterHelp. And oh yeah, did we mention that the coupon code YKS helps you out as well, by getting you 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS? Oh shoot, and it helps us out as well! Wow! That’s a lotta help!
4/11/2022

Episode 246: Bobby Laughs

April showers bring….whaaaa? Shitty Kickstarters? Well that ain’t what I heard, but so be it! On today’s show, your friends Mike and JF show you a brand new world…a world in which viral posts existed before the normal-wheeled bicycle, the toilet has been perfected with a urine trebuchet, and your family never has to say goodbye to you because you will always be on a dinky little website (as long as the hosting fee gets paid). And that’s not all! Well, actually I guess it kind of is.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Want more YKS? Well that’s why the Christian God invented YKS Premium! Last week the boys supported independent cinema by taking a trip to the theater and reviewing Morbius, and this week? Oh, brother…you’re just gonna have to join to find out!This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:Factor - Ah yes, meals. The famous thing we love to eat a few times per day. But oh, the hassle! Well with Factor, it’s downright simple. And not just the eating of the meals either, it’s the getting and fixing of them, too! Get $120 off at go.factor75.com/yks120Honey - Paying full price is soooo cool NOT! That’s why we spend hours and hours searching for coupon codes. But it’s starting to take a toll on my life. That’s why I got Honey. Hey, maybe save yourself $12 off some sheets like JF did at JoinHoney.com/YKSTruebill - So many services…not enough time! Gosh I’d love nothing more than to utilize all these different subscriptions, but it would honestly have to be my full time job. And, arguably, it is! But still. I’m gonna cancel some with Truebill. Join me, won’t you? Try Truebill out and tell ‘em YKS sent ya at Truebill.com/YKSAthletic Greens - Improving my gut health, increasing my energy levels, absorbing a straight up respectable amount of adaptogens? You know, I’m starting to think Green really is my color! Nab a year’s supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/yks.
4/4/2022

Episode 245: HorseFlix

Now this is interesting...says here on this card that this week’s episode of YKS goes out to the YKS discord and all of its perfect members, especially Drake and our close personal friend, Discord user Rob. Wow! Sounds like a real fine group of characters. I can only hope those folks like hearing about the Dadbod of Destiny, a brand new streaming platform for horse lovers, and a custom machine that can bulk-mix the world's 654th most popular cocktail on demand. Knowing them...heh...I'd bet anything they will. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Put some YKS in your life! YKS Premium is the only place to get more Mike and JF unless you meet us in public and stab us in the bellies. Don't do that! Just head over to Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks and toss us an $8 bill to get video of each and every premium episode delivered in the crispest HD your video card can handle. This week's episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: HelloFresh - 16 free meals and 3 free gifts? Where in the HELL do I sign up? Simple. Go to HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks16 and use that promo code yourkickstartersucks16. Then, simply sit back, relax, and Enjoy Da Grub(TM). Athletic Greens Hey I tell ya what. I know so little about my body I used to think my gut was a part of my nervous system! But now I know better. Although with Athletic Greens AG1, it really doesn't matter. They're all getting the benefits of vitamins, adaptogens, etc. athleticgreens.com/YKS for a free 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs.BetterHelp You already know...hahaha...you already know. Kiss the uncomfortable waiting room goodbye, and trade it for a comfortable chatroom! Therapy...in a digital world. What'll they think of next? Oh yeah, discounts! Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yks
3/28/2022

Episode 244: Dog Health Revolution

“He ate the whole wheel of cheese. I’m not even mad.” - UnknownRemember Sarah Palin? What was THAT all about, huh? She’s not in this episode at all really but I just saw something that reminded me of her and thought maybe you’d get a kick out of remembering her for a second as well. But if not, no worries, because you’re about to listen to about 90 minutes of pure nonsense from 2-3 bozos with barely anything going on. Today’s episode, for instance, features a Bitcoin wallet which is just a credit card, an idea that actually makes pizza bad somehow, and, incredibly, a Donald Trump RPG. That’s right folks, it’s episode 244, and that’s what’s going on. But that’s Monday for ya. Enjoy!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium: The only way to become a guaranteed genius. Trying out some new marketing techniques on these plugs. First up: an inscrutable lie! Hey but in all seriousness gang, the overall experience of YKS Premium is banging, and there’s always more coming down the big stinky pipe. This week, we’ve got our much-ballyhooed mailbag dropping for our Squeeze Louise supporters, and that’s IN ADDITION to a Premium episode concept to be named later. Last week we previewed the Oscars with our friend Dan O’Sullivan…how’d we do? (smirk)This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Athletic Greens - Just when you thought they couldn’t make tropical-tasting stuff healthy, or vice versa…they went and invented Athletic Greens! A good tasting and good for you drink, now that’s nothing to shake a stick at. So put down the stick! And get your year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/YKSOuter - Outdoor furniture has a tough job. It’s gotta feel good when I sit on it, and also not freak out if it gets rained on. Well Outer has perfected that combination of traits, plus their stuff is modular as the day is long. And you’ll wish the day WAS longer when you’re sitting outside on your Outer furniture. Get a massive $300 off your order when you use the code YKS300 at LiveOuter.com/YKS!BetterHelp - “Takin’ Care of Business, every day, oh yeah!” That’s what I’m thinking when I’m doing stuff around the house, taking care of the kiddos and pets, and helping my wife do whatever. And by the time the song stops, I ain’t got no time for my own self. Sad! But the folks at BetterHelp wanna help with that bit of relatable malaise, and you can try them right now with 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS.