Your Kickstarter Sucks
Episode 279: Grandma’s Leg Washers
Well, Thanksgiving is over! All of the little cousins have gone on their walks, all of the uncles have done their politics, and all of the Karens have returned their half-eaten turkeys for store credit because they found a bird poop in the neckhole. Now what?! We all return to our schools or works?? And just sit there without eating a bunch of bread?? This sucks! Yeah, it does. That’s why they invented YKS. Hey, maybe this will kind of suck a little bit less. And if not, hey, free poop in the neckhole. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.More YKS! Many people are saying it. And many people are getting it as well, by going to Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks! Find bonus episodes, hundreds of hours of video, merch discounts, and more at the URL at the end of the previous sentence. jThis episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:NordVPN - VPNs are so clutch when it comes to cyber security, speed, and content. Don’t get left behind in the virtual dust. Grab your EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!BetterHelp - Therapy is goated. And you already know how I feel about going online! BetterHelp, well, they figured out a way to combine the two into one thing, saving time and energy and probably the environment as well. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yksNordPass - Hey make sure your password has a number, a symbol, and a freaking recipe for the perfect macaroni and cheese to continue. WHaaa?? Coming up with these things is too dadgum hard, and that’s before it even comes down to memorizing them. That’s why we all need a password manager like NordPass. Get a 3-month free trial at nordpass.com/YKS with code YKS
Episode 278: The Pepsi Universe
Now this is what I'm talking about right here! An Episode of YKS? And the word Episode is being capitalized now for no reason? Kind of weird, kind of cool. Plus it's Monday, my favorite day of the week! Damn. It sure doesn't get any better than this! On today's show we're celebrating our friends, Women, by making fun of some projects explicitly not targeting us loutish clods in any way, taking our hose everywhere we go, and using a little sucky toy to try to keep all the bleep from coming right out of our bloop! If that's not enough to get you to click on the link, maybe direct cash payments to your bank account will be? Let us know! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Oh my god, they're still doing YKS Premium! That's right folks, by somewhat popular demand, where it's like maybe more demand than you'd think but still there could be more demand overall, Mike and JF have returned for yet another week of bonus episodes. Sign up today at Patreon.com/YourKickstarterSucks for hundreds and hundreds of hours of the exact type of crap you like, merch discounts when our store returns (soon!), Discord access and more.This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:NordPass - Access to our various items is so important...it's tempting to make it very insecure! HUGE MISTAKE! That's when calamity strikes! Keep calamity away from your passwords, credit cards, and more -- unless you like calamity?? Uh, you shouldn't. It's bad. See NordPass Business in action now with a 3-month free trial at nordpass.com/YKS with code YKS Faherty - Faherty makes the most comfortable clothes in my closet. I slide them on and walk around my house like I'm some big shot with somewhere to be. But guess what...I'm just some schmuck! Oh well! The clothes are nice! Get 20% off your order at FahertyBrand.com/YKSFactor - Factor is so good, man. It's crazy! We're talking healthy, delicious, easy meals delivered right to your door. And all you gotta do is heat em up. And eat em. And like, wash the fork and stuff. But what do you want, Forkbox? Head to https://go.factor75.com/yks60 for 60% off your first box!Honey - "I hate easily saving money...I'd rather flush cash down the toilet than click one time and put money right back in my pocket!" <--- My enemies said this one time (in unison). Don't be like them. Download Honey today and save yourself some money this holiday shopping season at JoinHoney.com/YKS
Episode 277: Lotto Losers
It’s another episode of YKS starring Danny 2 Phones and his duo of lovable losers! On this week’s episode, we’re making a popcorn run with Orville Weedensmoker to the 4 Glomp Realm, and praying they’re isn’t actually something in my mouth even though it feels like there really is and it’s gonna make me throw up. Plus, we’ve a great new way to drop your infant, an idea that a pothead came up with and weirdly makes no sense, and monetizing retail cashier harassment. My god…How do they keep getting away with making such great episodes!!! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Want more YKS? Check out YKS Premium! Last week we were proud to present our Annual YKS Salute To Service. Just fucking kidding! We DID, however, break down all the politics going on in the world nowadays, which if you don’t know anything about them, suffice to say, they have been really crazy. The politics have, I mean. And therefore, the episodes of our celebrated comedy-alternative podcast have, as well. This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Athletic Greens - I love my gut, but boy does it have its issues. If only there were a way to increase my adaptogen intake…but the only adaptogens I know of don’t have a pleasantly fruity taste…Wait just a minute! Get 1 year of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/yksBetterHelp - “Mind your mind and your rewards will be divine” - Unknown Poet. Wow. Makes you think. But sometimes thinking is tough, and you need another thinker in there tinkering around with ya. That’s where therapy comes in, and specifically in this case, online therapy from BetterHelp. Try it for 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yksRocketMoney - These subscriptions, man….I dunno. Some of them are good – great, even. Some of them I could never live without. Many of them support our wonderful independent content creators! Others, however, are garbage. And we need help to tell the difference! Enter Rocket Money. Save hundreds by canceling useless subscriptions today at RocketMoney.com/YKS
Episode 276: The Flubisode
Hey look at THESE! It’s, give or take, about 120 minutes of unhinged goofiness from two old guys who should, frankly, know better. But we just don’t care! On today’s show, we’re munching on crispy rounds in the tractor forums, buying Penis Coins while they’re still on sale, making our Toaster confessions, and doing it all over the whirr of a tree trimmer. Our friends at Tree of Souls won’t be happy to hear that, of course, but for them, we’re pitching in an industrial strength AI ankle breaker, a painting tool for morons, a cure for boredom while driving a Tesla, and inexplicably, something Mike actually likes and wants to buy. And no flubs! (Sorry, Bryan) Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.I Stand With YKS Premium! For bonus episodes, ad-free YKS, our Squeeze Louise video feed, Pisscord access and more, there’s only one place to go: Hell! Just kidding, it’s YKS Premium. Last week, against all odds, we were able to put out a funny episode without any old ass horror movies to talk about. And this week…we’ll do it again! See what kind of crazy crap we come up with, every Friday, at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksThis episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:BetterHelp - Listen up, brain. It’s time to get yourself fixed. And if you won’t do it, I’ll find someone who will! That’s why I go to therapy…to make my problems someone else’s! Just kidding, sort of. Try this method or others for yourself, with online therapy like BetterHelp today. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yksHelloFresh - Every week we get the little email that says “Best News Ever! Your HelloFresh Box Was Delivered!” Kind of cute. I think some better news would be winning $1.9B in the lottery. But if they sent me that email it would probably just go to spam. So you know what, HelloFresh is right. Food’s Here! Pretty good. Get 65% off plus free shipping at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks65
Episode 275: The Halloween Episode with Mike Hell, Jesse Fearrar, and “Devil Eggs” Dan
OOOooooOOOOahhhhaaaOOOaaahhhwaaoooooohhhh! This is some scary ass damn crap! It’s the Halloween episode of YKS, and you already know the 666 pack is bursting at the screams with all kinds of horrifyingly bad Kill…uh, screamers! So whether you’re in your Nissan Hexterra or Tasting the Heath on a trick or treat run, crank up this very spooky edition of YKS, and beware the thumping caskets! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Miketober is over, and everyone is so sad! Well, tough titty! But one big, soft titty to remember is that these episodes are forever! Check out ALLL the gory, goopy goodness, with Rucking Fotten’s Jeff Haidaczuk, Dan O’Sullivan, Keith Buckley, and Howell Dawdy, at the YKS Premium Patreon. And now, back to even scarier programming: our normal crap! This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine sponsors: Honey - Coupon codes: Friend or Foe? Hard to say…I sure do love them when they’re hitting, but boy they can be elusive. That’s where Honey comes in. Just download their fancy little tool on iOS or your desktop browser, and go to town. Save $15 on a special cake! No one can tell you not to! Check it out today at JoinHoney.com/YKS
Episode 274: Mike’s Joke Corner
Do I detect a new segment?? That Mike hates a lot?? Oh baby! I’m like a pig in shit. (Pigs like to be in shit, if you don’t know a lot about pigs or shit.) On today’s show we reflect on Enjoying the Film, HorseTimes, and, yes, Mike’s Joke Corner. That’s why I named the show that! Plus, we got iFood (finally!), a stupid fuckin pen, the Mikey Miles Fitness Routine, and I think there’s at least one Kickstarter in here that someone will get mad at us for talking about, so that’s good. But come on. With that thing. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Hey if you want to support the show and get a truly outrageous amount of content in exchange, head on over to YKS Premium, where we’re excited to show you the latest in cutting edge paid podcasts. This month we’re celebrating Miketober, with some of our favorite friends and nastiest movies. And next month we will be doing BallBag November where I whack DB in the ballbag every week until he pukes. Check it out. Faherty - Here comes Mr Autumn Man! That’s me. I’m wearing my Faherty pullover right now and it’s genuinely one of my favorite pieces of clothing I own. You cannot have it! I have my stink on it already! Get your own! Use code YKS at FahertyBrand.com for 20% off some new spring – or autumn – or whatever! Classics. But leave mine alone. BetterHelp - It’s so cool to think your little thoughts. But how about sharing them with someone else? Also not too bad! Look, solving problems is one tough assignment, and you need a game plan. Unfortunately John Madden is dead, so you’re gonna need the next best thing: a professional counselor! Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKSNordVPN - EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!
Episode 273: The Putt Putt Sniper
Wow I just watched a good ass football game and now while I’m feeling all hyped up, I’m going to write up the episode description for my minor hit comedy podcast, Your Kickstarter Sucks! I bet this is what Michelangelo felt like, when he was really in a groove doing a painting or whatever. And maybe the place where he went to college won a big game. University of Italy defeats France State! And Michelangelo is flying over the stadium in one of his weird flying contraptions, smoking a big cigar. Wow, history sure was amazing! Anyway on today’s show we’re talking about toe condoms, the Ed Gein Card Game, and Producer Dan’s favorite state: Florida! Plus some really weird Kickstarters you are definitely going to want to listen to us talk about while you’re in the shower. So grab a ziploc and go to town on yourself with a rag…it’s YKS! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Look I’m not just saying this cause you look really smart/cool/good with money/trickable (pick 2), but really, YKS Premium is one of the best deals in the business right now. Just $5 a month gets you 5 bonus episodes and access to hundreds, if not billions, of shows in our expansive back catalog. Toss in $3 more and you get video of every YKS Premium! That’s right, YKS on your TV! And all this…ad free, delivered to you via the scrappy and lovable Patreon app, and with a convenient resubscribe every month option helpfully pre-selected. It just doesn’t get any better than that! Oh wait yes it does, cause it’s…MIKETOBER!!! This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor – It occurs to me to me that I think of Factor as the healthy, easy, and delicious meals I get to eat for lunch sometimes, but that’s not really true. For one thing, lunch and dinner are basically interchangeable, right? Plus they got a bunch of other stuff on there, too. Shakes and juices and cookie and wellness shots and sausages and stuff? Oh well, to me, they are “Mr Yummy Lunch”! Get $60 off your first box at go.factor75.com/yks60NordVPN – EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee! Yoooooooooo!Honey – I just used Honey a few minutes ago to save a nice chunky change on a cake I was ordering! I’m serious! I really hope I remember this anecdote when it comes time to do the next ad read! Download it for yourself at JoinHoney.com/YKS and save some of your own cake money!
Episode 272: John's Apartment
Pre-recorded from Canada in our friend's secondary bedroom...it's YKS! This week on the show we take over BP Studios in unseasonably waaaaarm Vancouver, British Columbia, and force Blocked Party hosts John Cullen and Stefan Heck to participate in some main episode nonsense such as: talking to Producer Dan (off-mic), criticizing a perfect stranger's dreams and goals, and mispronouncing words in a way that gives plausible deniability to a claim that we were just joking. Plus! We got a very, uh, ambitious attempt to explain Chinese Traditional Medicine to Westerners, a podcast that's worse than most of ours probably, and a cat backpack that not even a catfreak would like! Sounds like enough to do a show about, huh? Yep, we thought so too.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.(grabbing Sporange and regular podcast RSS feed Subscribers by the lapel, in a cool way but still with a compelling flair) Hey! Did ya know you could get videos of all the great Miketober episodes by upgrading your subscription by just $3/mo? That's right! Join Mike and myself and our many fabulous guests in pristine HD video (where available) as we not only talk out loud, but appear physically and emote in time to various goings-on. Week 1 has already dropped, and Jeff Haidaczuk from Rucking Fotten was nice enough to stop by and talk about a slow burn creeper called Sole Survivor...A great one to have watched before I got on a bunch of planes! Next week: Society (1989)!Download Blocked Party wherever you want (this week's ep looks good, with Tom and Demi! Start there and work backwards, why not?) And support the show on Patreon here. Or there. That's the same link I just typed it twice. This week's episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:RocketMoney - Yes, the name is taking some getting used to. But everything you presumably loved about TrueBill -- the intuitive way it helps you save on recurring subscriptions, all that extra cash sitting around becoming less valuable over time because of the dreaded Economy, etc., is still there with RocketMoney! And thank God for that! Check it out today at RocketMoney.com/yksAthleticGreens - As a growed up type person, nobody wants to be told to drink more water...that's why I say, let's make Water Fun! With Athletic Greens! I just dump the stuff into a cup with some wet goodness already floating around in there, and blammo, I'm getting vitamins shooting out of every orifice. Jealous much? Get 5 free travel packs and a year's supply of Vitamin D at AthleticGreens.com/yksBetterHelp: Therapy?? From the comfort of Home? Hey...don't mind if I do! Get 10% off your first money at BetterHelp.com/yks
Episode 271: And Introducing...Giovanni!
I'm in Canada! You can't make me do a long episode description cause I don't want to! On today's show we've got a streaming service that actually looks not too good (can you believe it!), a card game about poo (kinda?), and a guy making an entertainment product based on a meme from several months ago (member that??). Plus, some other stuff! I'm away, like I said, so gather up your crick coins and have some fun! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.MIKETOBER III starts Friday, and you can only get it at YKS Premium!! Be there, or have some guy slowly wander out into traffic in front of you! On this week's show, we're joined by Jeff Haidaczuk from Rucking Fotten to discuss...Sole Survivor (1984)!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:HelloFresh! - Now that I'm traveling, I really miss my HelloFresh meals! Why didn't I get them sent up here to Canada with me! All I've had is maple syrup and "Gordies"??? I really wish I could come back to our place and whip up a nice healthy 20 minute meal with HelloFresh. But these Gordies ain't gonna eat themselves I guess...Get 65% off plus Free Shipping at hellofresh.com/yourkickstartersucks65!BetterHelp! - "If there was a problem yo I'll solve it. Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it!" <--- I doubt very seriously any therapist is going to say this to you, but if they did it would be kind of a cool 1980s reference. What they'll do instead is help you to solve your own problems, and as a guy who has done all that already, trust me, it's true! BetterHelp is one of many options for therapy and what I like about it is that it's on the computer, where I like to go! Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS!NordVPN! - I'm using NordVPN right now while I'm away in the great white north! You can use it too, wherever you are! Grab your EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal by going to nordvpn.com/yks to get a Huge Discount off your NordVPN Plan + 4 additional months for free! It’s completely risk-free with Nord’s 30-day money-back guarantee!