Your Kickstarter Sucks
Episode 220: Faith Meat
Hey everyone well it's a new episode of YKS! Writing these things is fuckin' torture but we're gonna grit our teeth and get through it, okay? Just a couple more sentences. I already did the other parts and this is the last thing I'm doing before I get some lunch. I left my notes downstairs so I'm going to try to remember what we talked about instead. Ok I think there's a social media website on here for sure. And I remember the kids who were trying to do a guitar solo or something. That was pretty funny. Wow we're almost done. Okay, plus! A very frightening update on the pussy steamer from 2019. And we're done. I hope everyone enjoyed that because it took me down to like 2 hp and I need a bunch of beef jerky now. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Want more YKS? Well, I reckon the place to get it is the YKS Premium Patreon. And now is a great time to jump in, gang, because October is Miketober all month long! Join us and some very special guests as we comb through Mike's catalog of scary movies (and the Wolfman's hair! Yuck!). It's gonna be a real scream! This week on YKS Premium: the one and only Howell Dawdy returns to discuss Berserker (1987)! And coming up right before that, a Squeeze Louise mailbag! Hell of a week to join YKS Premium. Hell of a week.Today's show is brought to you by...Gumball! Zuhh??? Who sponsors the sponsors? That's right gang, Gumball.FM is a great place to look at, buy, or sell ads, or think about them or whatever you want. I personally like to go on there to see what ads I'm reading this week. But if I were a product or service, I might want to buy an ad...on this podcast even! Check em out over there, and check us out too. And don't forget to enjoy products and/or services, alright?!Also sponsoring today's show? BetterHelp! Oh, it's BetterHelp! Now here's the place to go for professional, convenient, and affordable counseling. It's basically counseling, except they put their own special twist of being professional, convenient, and affordable on it. Other therapists sitting there going, "D'oh! Why didn't I think of that?!" Well, too late! BetterHelp beat ya to the punch. Try 'em out today at BetterHelp.com/yks and get 10% off your first month.
Episode 219: The Bread Shelf
Sorry antivaxxers!!! It's time to listen to an episode of YKS: another Wowmazing! show from Dingo Products. On today's show, we're talking about how damn FINE I look in black jeans, plus a bunch of other crap who cares. These jeans, though, wow! They really hug all my curves, and are buttery soft. I've been turning them inside out in the wash so they don't bleed even though honestly that doesn't make much sense to me. They get wet either way, right? If the inside of the clothes don't get wet in the washer, what the hell am I even doing? Makes no sense. But that's what it says on the tag there. Man that's sad about Norm MacDonald, huh? Okay enjoy the show. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Need more YKS so much you can't stand it? The place to go is YKS Premium -- now with video! We have a great slate of episodes planned for Miketober but you might as well get in now as we smash the 2 or 3 remaining brain cells we have together in a vain attempt to come up with some good shit before then. It might work!This week's YKS is sponsored by Manscaped -- now folks, I've talked a lot of shit in my day but here's the real scoop: Manscaped makes some good ass products! You can catch me with the Lawnmower 4.0, shears (nails, eyebrow, etc), and cologne. And the crop gel is, hand to god, the best shave gel I've ever used. It's sooooooooo slick. Damn! If you want to try any of this stuff for yourself, first of all I don't blame ya one bit. Secondly, it would be a big help to me personally if you'd use the promo code YKS20 at checkout. Oh shit, and it actually helps you out, too? Because you get 20% off and free shipping? Wow. I guess I don't see why you wouldn't do it then! Unless you're a bad person....???
Episode 218: The Cult of JF
Another YKS? Zuhhh? Why don't these guys just quit while they were ahead! They were doing so great! I really love them but it makes me so mad that they won't stop doing episodes, and defeating my salty ass in the process! <---- Sadly, this is what many of our haters sound like today as we release another episode of our beloved podcast. Unfortunately we just can't help these people, as they're determined to not be happy by listening to our wonderful show! Assuming they can get over themselves, they've got some great stuff to listen to today: we've got the big toilet paper brand run down, Mike's wistful memories of his wooden car, and yes, finally, nice dogs telling jokes! So give us a Howdy Dowdy Doo and Gobbledy Gobbledy Goo, and pop the headphones in. It's another (sorry haters!) YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.This week's YKS is sponsored by Honey! When it comes to discount codes, I gotta say Honey is the undisputed champ! Whether it's protein bars, new jeans, or fancy trash bags, Honey has probably got a code to save you some of that cold hard cashola. And maybe you buy other stuff, too, I don't know! That's just what I like. Check 'em out for yourself at JoinHoney.com/YKS and tell 'em the Fancy Trash Lad sent ya!YKS is also brought to you by BetterHelp. Let's get out there and get some help, gang. Confidential, Convenient, Professional, and Affordable: you get 'em all with BetterHelp! No, you don't gotta pinch yourself, they really stuffed all that in there. Hey I need these guys to help me pack my luggage. Probably not going to be going on a trip for a while you know. But you gotta admit it would be pretty cool. Join over 1 million people who love listening to YKS and have taken charge of their mental health (unrelated) by going to BetterHelp.com/YKS. Get 10% off your first month while you're there! By going there!Want more YKS? Yeah, me too! That's why I subscribed to YKS Premium, the place to be for all the biggest YKS fans to chill, hangout, and listen to YKS! This week on the show, a little birdy told me the charismatic and handsome YKS hosts might be responding to all our suggestions about where they should move and reviewing the best and worst "twin movies" ever put to whatever they record movies on now. Wow! I really want to check that out! I'm just a normal fan. Okay, JF out. I mean, not JF! Oh crap!!!
Episode 217: American Friend John Hamburger
Hold on to your butt, Mike, cause we're crankin this thing up to 79.8 gigawatts and going back in time! Or forward in time. Whatever the hell that movie is about, I couldn't honestly tell you. On today's YKS, we're imagining a world where all the Proud Boys are safely under the ocean, playing some erotic games, and, oh my god, sharing memes finally. Fuck yes! We can finally share memes! I've had all these memes here just sitting around and I...wow. This is big. Okay, you're gonna wanna tune into this one. For the lols! That's a meme I just shared! Oh god I'm gonna blow!!!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.This week's episode of YKS is sponsored by Signalwire -- the ONLY place to get easily deployable SDKs and APIs this side of, well, anywhere, I'm pretty sure! Whether you're into video collaboration tools or jam-packed virtual concerts, Signalwire is where it's all happening. Try it today at Signalwire.com/YKS and get $25 of developer credit with the promo code YKS. And jam on, dude!!!Also sponsoring this week's show: HelloFresh! Now I'll be honest with ya, folks. I consider myself a seafood fan, but I can't recall ever trying the species of catadromous fish that Australis Aquaculture once called the "It" Fish...until HelloFresh stepped in. "Open up!" they said. And open I did. What a meal. What a delight. A whole new fish, in my mouth, and I look cool for being ahead of the curve? Are you kidding me? Where do I sign up? Here, I'll tell ya: HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks14 is the place to go, and yourkickstartersucks14 is the code to use for 14 free meals and free shipping. What will YOU try next? You can't say barramundi, because that's what I said. Get your own thing.Want more YKS? Well the only place you're gonna get it, unless you kick down my fuckin' door and force me to riff like crazy, which is a CRIME brother, and I've got a bunch of Home Alone traps set up too so don't try it, is to sign up for YKS Premium over on Patreon. We've got a big month coming up, as you may well know, but I'll be damned if we ain't still pumpin' out good shit every week leading up to it anyway. This past week we looked at another half dozen or so projects you can force us to buy, and oh yeah...it's all on video!!! Check it out now and binge every single second of the past 4 years until it's scary movie time and "you know what"...
Episode 216: Rat Stuck In Airlock
Hey everybody have you seen my balls they're...well, you know the rest! I guess I better stop singing a song and get on with typing out the episode description, huh? This week on YKS we're talkin' all the latest websites that have dropped, remembering the combo TV/VCR, The Crag Cave, and even more sexy ideas. Sorry if you feel cheated, but we're in The Goldilocks Zone (references to this episode)! Read on for more references to the show you're about to listen to, plus general information about us and our creative partners. Won't hurt you none. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS is brought to you this week by SignalWire...now this is the place to go, I'm telling you, if you want to build the future of video communication. Because they're already doing it! You're gonna wonder how we ever did virtual live concerts without 'em! Try it right this very second at SignalWire.com with promo code YKS to get $25 in developer credit. And say hello to the future for us!Also sponsoring the show this week is BetterHelp. Sick of inconvenient, unprofessional, unaffordable counseling? Well, the BetterHelp folks were too. That's why they invented BetterHelp. And that's what kicked off this beautiful relationship we have here. And a lot more beautiful relationships as well I would assume (although it's all confidential so I have no idea). Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp with promo code YKS and start having some good relationships or whatever! Hey gang, if you need more YKS in your life, I'm the last guy on Earth who's gonna blame ya for that. This week on YKS Premium...not sure yet, but we got the Squeeze Louise mailbag coming out tomorrow! Check it out!
Episode 215: The Rappin' Monsters
Alright you all, listen up. And I really mean listen! Because I reckon that's what the show is all about. Today we're doing 6 Kickstarters...sike! Who cares! On this week's episode we're figuring out The Perfect Age, revisiting (apparently) some Tweets from Tattooine, and talking about all the things I personally haven't done. That takes up most of the show, of course, but we do have time to touch on what makes a shelf a shelf, ruining the value of our precious Pokemon cards, and helping grampy choke down his one medicine every day. Sounds like a real snooze but I promise it's fine. Seriously!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Want more YKS? Well then dadgummit you're gonna want to head over to YKS Premium, the place we post more of the shows! This week we've got a VERY special episode...but you're just gonna have to listen to it to find out what it is! New shit every Friday, with video to boot. What more could you want? And be realistic. I mean come on. You know what we're capable of. This week's show is sponsored by Signalwire. People come up to us all the time, strong people, with tears in their eyes, and they're saying "Thank you. Thank you for telling us about Signalwire. We love it so much." And folks, that's why we do what we do. And Signalwire does what they do because they love helping YOU build the future of video communication. Check em out today and get $25 in dev credit by heading over to Signalwire.com and using the promo code YKS. This week's show is also brought to you by NordVPN. Now these guys know what VPNs are all about. And I do too, and I even knew it beforehand. They didn't tell me anything! I knew it all on my own. Don't believe me? Well the truth is there for you at NordVPN.com/yks. Use promo code YKS if you REALLY want to figure out what I know about VPNs, which is everything. Plus you'll get a screamin' wheel of a deal...on knowledge! And VPN service also.
Episode 214: Shrimp Shirt
Webster's Dictionary defines "riffing" as a verb which means "to discharge (a person) from military or civil service, especially as part of an economy program." And that seems wrong but I don't see a phone number on the website so I don't know what to do about it. This week on YKS we get an update on our old friend the Shrimp Diva, a grift for Tesla Turds that somehow seems to not be working, and we discover a gold mine in bad celebrity impersonations. Plus, a special visit from Millennial Bane. No whammies on this episode gang so get your clicks in while they're hot! What the fuck...no idea.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For more YKS, check out the YKS Premium Patreon page. This week on the show, we got a Double Guest Situation as our two music geekiest friends, Every Time I Die frontman Keith Buckley and former Boston Phoenix music critic David Thorpe join us to discuss, what else but Gordon Ramsey! I don't think they knew each other before this, which makes you wonder why we did it! Well, go listen and find out. On Friday, I mean. At the Patreon page. Okay. This week's show is sponsored by SignalWire. You think you got the lowest latency, highest quality video broadcasting platform? Bzzt. Wrongo! Cause that's our friends over at SignalWire. You in charge of organizing virtual concerts, collabs, and huge events? Well, what are you waiting for! Try it out today at SignalWire.com with the promo code YKS and nab yourself $25 in free developer credit to develop to your little heart's content. We're also brought to you this week by BetterHelp. Did ya hear the news? Waiting rooms are a thing of the past! Now "Waiting..." is just the name of a movie we remember as being pretty funny at the time but which in retrospect probably has not aged that well, so we won't be revisiting it. Although Ryan Reynolds seems to be doing ok, so who knows. There's too much good movies and TV now for me to really go back and watch that one again. If I didn't get to it this year, it probably ain't happening. This guy knows what I'm talking about. Anyway, the important thing is this: Get 10% off your first month of convenient, professional counseling by going to BetterHelp.com/YKS and using that code YKS. The goat!
Episode 213: Oh Hogan!
Another YKS! My god how do they do it! Well it's actually quite simple. First, we come up with a genius idea....oh gosh you probably don't want to hear all that. Let me just tell you what's in the show this week. How about a visit from the mobile vet, Mike driving a Lambo, and a freakin' Hamster's nutsack!? Does that sound good enough for ya? For the free episode we came up with out of the goodness of our hearts? I mean, we put everything we got into this fuckin thing...listening to it is the least you could do. Why do you hate us so much? You want us dead!! Ahhhhh!!!!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For more YKS, check out the YKS Premium Patreon page. This week on YKS Premium: An anti-globalist album review and the debut of Redbox Rants!Today's show is sponsored by Honey. Now these guys are serious about having a little thing that pops up and puts in a coupon code. And hell, so am I! If you're like me you want to save something like $3-4 on a phone case cause the dadgum thing keeps flying out of your hands. And what you don't want to do is search all over hither and yon for a code that actually works. We're busy! We got phones to pick up off the dadgum ground! So let Honey do the work for ya. Go to JoinHoney.com/yks and let our little coupon friends know Mike and JF sent ya.We're also brought to you by the folks at Manscaped. Folks, this ain't ya daddy's pube trimmer! And if it is, he's lookin' smooth as hell! Damn! Now if for some wild reason you don't wanna get shorn with the best of 'em by using the Lawn Mower 4.0, you could still set yourself up pretty good with the cologne, nail trimmers, and lotions these guys got over there. You oughta see my bathroom drawer. It looks like the damn Manscaped warehouse in there. Give 'em a whirl today by going to Manscaped.com/YKS and using that classic promo code YKS for 20% off plus free shipping. Now that right there is gonna help the show and your pubic area...a match made in heaven!
Episode 212: Dan's Growhouse
Spider-man, spider-man. Showers however a spider-man does. That's the 212th episode description gang, and I'm not sure it gets any better than that. On today's episode of YKS: The Show, we're revisiting the dying embers of the H*tler meme community, ripping off a rip off of a shitty card game, and blowing up our garages with experimental Musktech. Plus, we're MAKING PEOPLE SICK! with an investigative report from the frontlines of the Franchise Wars. All that and basically nothing else, on an all-new episode of the only podcast on iTunes with a 1-star review that says "not about Kickstarter". Let's go!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Need more YKS? Oh, god! Well, you'd better check out YKS Premium on Patreon for bonus episodes, ad-free main episodes, and more! This Friday, Mike and JF are going back to school to test their knowledge against your average British Grade 5er in a very special edition of Rubbish Lads. Plus, just yesterday, July's monthly video mailbag hit the Squeeze Louise tier -- we've got all kinda snacks and letters and messages from -- who else, "da fans". Check it out. This week's show is sponsored by HelloFresh. Now you wanna talk about getting a box of food delivered, you wanna talk about HelloFresh. Head on over and use the promo code YourKickstarterSucks14 for 14 free meals plus free shipping. That's probably a week's worth of eatin'. Not bad!We're also brought to you by NordVPN. I could sit here and tell you all day about how NordVPN works -- the ins and outs of the tech, not to mention the storied history behind the company and brand. But at the end of the day, all we want is a speedy, anonymous connection, don't we folks? And it's not too much to ask. So I'll say this: try out NordVPN for yourself and use promo code YKS for a deal so good it'll make ya barf.