Your Kickstarter Sucks

2/6/2023

Episode 289: The Other Side of the Line

A new YKS! That’s Pawesome! On today’s show, we’re doing a little fashion show with a guy who I would say seems to be making an actionable threat on our lives, a cell phone app that somehow is even more annoying than being normal called on the phone, and the devastating story of a 6 year old’s dream to run a bandsaw for pwesident twump! And we did it all without Producer Dan! Let’s all prove that anything is possible, and that two guys who have been doing this for several years know how to make a show kind of! Now that’s Bark-some!  Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan (even when he’s sick!). Yes, you heard right, Jesseuary has moved to March! But don’t fret, because we’ve got a great month planned over on YKS Premium. This week, we’re joined by Aaron and Stefan from I Hate This Team for an iced-out edition of YKScapades! This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands: Athletic Greens - Green is one of the primary colors. And one of the primary things you need in your body is vitamins. But where to get them, what kind to get, it’s crazy,  and you’d probably have to get a degree in Vitaminology to figure it out. Well not anymore, because Athletic Greens AG1 put ‘em all together and all ya gotta do is sip. Get a free 1 year supply Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/YKSFactor - There are a lot of factors when it comes to meeting our goals, and oh my god I just realized why the company is called that. It’s important to be curious about the world around you, folks. Sometimes you learn something. And sometimes you eat something really good! Like a delicious, healthful, ready to eat meal delivered straight to your doorstep, with Factor. Get it?? Get 50% off your first box at FactorMEALS.com/YKS50
1/30/2023

Episode 288: Hamburger For Brains

Back in the day, things just seemed a lot simpler, didn't they? You made your own card games to sell on Kickstarter, you dookied on a leaf in the woods, and could put your hand right on the shopping buggies! But not anymore. We've all taken the high heels off, gone woke, and turned our brains to hamburger. All to satisfy our Kinky Kravings! And just when you think it can't get any more HORNY, here comes a new YKS down the pike! So grab a hot wire, download this ep and get your first dub in a while! It's YKS time, baby!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Premium...They're more than great coats! That's just a fun reference to an old commercial from the 1990s. And really, when you get down to it, a reference to an old commercial is basically content. Basically Content -- That's the YKS Premium motto, and never before has it been more true than this past week's episode, in which we debuted the Night of 1000 Segments! It was kind of a fun deconstruction of podcasting which skewered the format while also having some funny songs about poop in it. All that and hundreds of hours of similarly highbrow content, with video, and more, available now at Patreon.com/YourKickstartersucks.This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands:NordVPN -- EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKS Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!
1/23/2023

Episode 287: It Smell The Scam!

Hey everyone it’s time to write the episode description for YKS: Your Kickstarter Sucks. The key to this is to have basically a paragraph of things that show up below the episode file and are only accidentally seen when someone inadvertently swipes their finger on the screen in a weird way. As a result, it doesn’t make any difference what I actually write. Like this! Wahoo! On this week’s show, we got a new way to do something with a bug, one guy trying to convince his wife and himself that he’s not stupid for running into the garage with his bike on top of his car, and a way to be even ruder to restaurant servers! It’s about fucking time!! I was going to start shitting in my seat! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Need 100% more YKS in your life? (Kevin Harlan voice) Yes! That’s why they invented YKS Premium. Get a bonus episode every week and more, for just a little shitdick fuck piss $5 a month!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor – When it comes to getting food in your system, it’s hard to beat the convenience of meals. That is, unless, you get someone else to cook the meals for you and send them right to your door. But that could never happen, right??? Get 60% off your first box at Factor75.com/YKS60BetterHelp –  Now this is nice. It says here you can now, through the advent of modern computer technology, Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yks
1/16/2023

Episode 286: Passion Led Us Here

Well it’s YKS time and don’t ya know, that’s basically the Mike and JF show! We don’t really need to be reworking the theme song lyrics on the fly like that but, hey, just goes to show, writing songs is easy. I’m thinking whichever of the Hank Williamses is alive and not problematic for the performance. There’s gotta be one, right? Right?!? On today’s show we have one of the dead and very problematic Hank Williamses, some breaking Nashville Foodie News, Foreskin Gloves, and oh yeah, it’s MIKE’S BIRTHDAY! That means only one thing…Bring it in guys!!! *Every serial inventor from every business school, scammer, crazy scientist, board game guy, Fish Lord, dropshipper, ukulele player, and offensive board game enthusiast come in with everything for a HUGE episode* Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. For ad-free episodes and more, check out YKS Premium! Annual subscriptions get you a free month, and monthly subscriptions get you every month not for free, which makes sense really. At least 5 bonus episodes a month, plus video, and if that’s not enough Mike and JF for ya I really god damn don’t know what I can do to help cause I gotta putter around and eat dinner and stuff. This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Athletic Greens – Think of your body like a well-oiled machine. You wouldn’t run your machine without adaptogens, would ya? Didn’t think so. Well Athletic Greens has got em, and then some! Get a 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/YKSHelloFresh – My wife was so happy when our HelloFresh box came in this weekend that she coulda kissed me! She didn’t, cause I was sick with Covid. But she could have! And that’s what counts. Get 21 meals plus free shipping at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks21NordVPN – EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/YKS Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!
1/9/2023

Episode 285: Doobieman and The Heart Brain

We recorded this episode on January 6th, which was a very important day in history. Actually I don’t think we did. Or maybe we did, I’m not sure. But, did you see how easily you can be manipulated by the media? Let that be a lesson to you, and to the January 6th guys, and I don’t know, like, people from everywhere in the world or other planets and stuff. Wow. This sounds like an important episode. And it is! Because on this episode we’re talkin Fartcars, Bible vibes, and Brain Hacks. And don’t say we’re the brain hacks. We’re good guys! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. YKS Regular…nice, nice. But I wish there was more of a luxury experience, suited for only those with the most discriminating podcast taste buds. You are in luck! There probably is. But if you can’t find it, check out YKS Premium, the place for even more Mike and JF. Decent consolation prize??This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Honey – Coupon Codes…as a frequent shopper, they’re something of a white whale for me. And Honey has helped me spear them. Or whatever happens in the book I’m sorry I don’t remember. Get it yourself at JoinHoney.com/YKS – Savings ahoy!RocketMoney - I’m sick and tired of these dadgum subscriptions on this goshdang bank statement! RocketMoney wants to help. The average Rocket Money user saves up to $720 a year! Wow! I guess I’ll go to RocketMoney.com/YKS and check it out. Or you do it, I mean.
1/2/2023

Episode 284: Friends Are Really Talking - F.A.R.T.

The first episode of 2023! I wonder what this year will hold. Well, first of all, hold this L. Come back in a few years and see if we’re still saying that. Plus, see if we’re still talking about the Lockhorns, the Splorks, and hey, is Mike still telling his little stories? Or did we all wither away like some shit that you just know would be very easy to wither…Ah, who can say. Except our friends and tastemakers, the YKS Guys. Gentlemen…Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Don’t like the ads? Well, send us a bizarre rant and then sign up for YKS Premium! We’ve got ad-free episodes, Discord access, and much more. Last year, we even had our friends John Cullen and Stefan Heck back on for our acclaimed (?) Who Wants To Be an Extreme Millionaire series, and considering their performance, it may be the last time they’re allowed to do any podcasting anywhere! Sign up today at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks.This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Athletic Greens - Green…it’s one of the many colors of the rainbow. But it’s healthy! More than you can say for Mauve, I bet. Let’s get some tasty vitamins and minerals in ya for 2023, gang. With Athletic Greens. Get 1 year of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs by signing up at athleticgreens.com/yksFactor - Healthy meal prep is so annoying. I was looking for stuff today and there were a bunch of blogs called, like, The Yummy Grubby and stuff. I’m done with it. I’m going Factor style. Get 60% off your first box at factor75.com/yks60BetterHelp - Laughter is the best medicine. That’s why listening to YKS is like going to the free student clinic. But there’s other kinds of doctors too, it turns out, and they can help with mental health! Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS
12/26/2022

Episode 283: Bean Poison 2022

Look, if it’s alright with you, I’m going to take it easy on the episode description here at the end of the year. It’s the last one, I’m pretty tired, and you know what these things are all about. We said some pretty silly stuff in this one, and we did some Kickstarters as well. One of them was a Catholic board game! Isn’t that weird? Yeah we thought so too. What were the other ones? Well, there’s only one way to find out. Find me in public and beat me to within an inch of my life until I’m forced to reveal every single project in the 6 pack to you! It’s the only way! See you in 2024! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. We had a great 2022 at YKS Premium! 2023 is, presumably, going to be even better. Grab an annual subscription today and get a free month as a YKS Official Delightful Reward. Or, better yet, pay by the month but don’t unsubscribe at any point! That works out better for me, to be honest! This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:RocketMoney - Coupon codes: friend or foe? Hard to say, at times. But with RocketMoney, the promo code field is simply a detente. Does that make sense? Well, who cares. Save some money for your own self at RocketMoney.com/yksNordPass - Keep your passwords secure, instead of insecure…makes sense, right? No duh! NordPass got there before you did, dummy! Nab 3 free months at nordpass.com/yksBetterHelp - Therapy is great…I do it all the time! And you see how I got it together. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yksNordVPN - EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!
12/19/2022

Episode 282: On Angels Wings

Wow, folks! It’s the last YKS before Christmas! Hopefully you have laid the 80s horror VHS tapes out by the old tube tv, taken one bite of the Delta-8 edibles and placed them on the Elvira plate, and filled up a cup with sour Gatorade. Soon, two annoying guys will be knocking on your front door asking if they can come in and use your bathroom! Will they be leaving presents? Perhaps! That depends on how you feel about a VR archery set, a new way to open up plastic bags, and a hat with a QR code on it that maybe orders a type of drink for you? Not sure. Who bought this crap, my weird uncle!? My uncles are all cool actually I just meant sometimes people have weird ones. I don’t know. Uncles take a beating around the holidays, don’t they? We need a day that’s safe for uncles. Uncle Day. We are looking into this very strongly! Have a good one. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.This really is the season of giving…money! To your favorite independent content creators! In exchange for even more of their high-quality audio and video content! I’m talking, of course, about YKS Premium  – the only gift Santa can’t give! We won’t let him on the premises. We have a restraining order against Jolly Old Saint Nick. He was pulling his pud over by my heat pump. Help us sue him into oblivion by subscribing today!This episode of YKS is brought to you by these fine brands: Schedule35.co - Not all drugs are created equal. Some of them are from the earth! Microdosing psilocybin has some pretty good effects, it sounds like. Plus you don’t get all wacky with it, which is nice. So check it out  and get 15% off with code YKS at Schedule35.coBetterHelp - Yes, lots of stuff is important. So is therapy. I guess like, gold is important? And silver? But we’re talking about therapy, which is so nice to do for yourself sometimes. And you can get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yks. Use the savings to buy some precious metals! Faherty - One thing about me is, I love putting on my little clothes and walking around. And Faherty makes some of the best stuff in my closet. But golly I’d like to pay about 80% of what I’d normally pay! And with the code YKSPOD, I can! Because YKSPOD will get you 20% off, at FahertyBrand.com/YKSPOD. Factor - ME: I sure am hungry! FOOD: Oh how about me? ME: That’s a good idea. But I don’t know how to get you! FOOD: Uhhh, this just happened. Excuse me, I mean that just happened. ME: Wow! I’ll just type in go.factor75.com/yks60 to my favorite browser and then hit enter or return or whichever one it is. Then, later, I’ll eat food! FOOD: That’s swag. 
12/12/2022

Episode 281: Wings…And More!

Look, the thing about the episode today is that we got a lot of ideas about hot dogs. And chicken wings. I guess we were pretty hungry when we recorded the episode. But when it’s YKS Nights…that’s just the kind of crazy stuff you’re gonna get! On today’s show, we’re visiting the Kingdom of Fufu, but just for tonight only! Plus, we got some corny shoe stuff not even I can endorse, a way to stay warm at the office that’s NOT setting the Foreman Grill out the night before, and finally saving Canada from the thorny grip of woke! Gather your Missisaugan friends around the iPad…it’s time to listen to YKS! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Here’s an excellent holiday gift for the person in your life who needs to see or have some good stuff: YKS Premium! Get a free month when you pay for a full year – It’s a Christmas miracle! This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Schedule35 - Microdose – doesn’t sound like much, but studies show a “small” amount of psilocybin can have a “big” effect! Micro is a prefix meaning “small”. That’s why I said that. Get 15% Off with code YKS at Schedule35.coAthletic Greens - Routines are important. My morning routine is that I wake up, scream in the mirror, and down a cup of vitamins and adaptogens in the form of Athletic Greens AG1. Then it’s back to screaming. And I’ve got all the energy I need for a day of screaming. Get a 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/YKSRocket Money - I’m sick of these motherfreaking subscriptions on this motherfreaking plane! Very possibly something you might say when signing up for a subscription while traveling on a plane. I know I have! Let’s get rid of some of this stuff together, with our friends at Rocket Money. What the heck – I’m paying $9.99/mo for Snakes? Rocketmoney.com/yksBetterHelp - I’m one of those guy who hears “therapy on the computer” and starts thinking retail therapy! No, but in all seriousness, talking to someone about your problems can really help. And I doubt they’re going to tell you to get a new coffeemaker to cheer yourself up. But I’m not a licensed anything, and I say, sure, if you like coffee, go for it. But do the other stuff, too. Get 10% off first month at betterhelp.com/yks