Your Kickstarter Sucks

10/25/2021

Episode 224: Intellitainment TV

Now Loading...funny ass episode description...10%...20%...25%. ERROR?: Loading not complete? Proceed anyway Y/N? YYYYYYYAlright folks it's another episode of YKS and if you're anything like me you have to be wondering...what could the next 90 or so minutes of my life be like? Let's scour the old notes here for some hints. Well it looks like we drove Goofy's Truck around for a spell and went to Knight School, then figured out what Linux distro Hunter Biden had on his laptop (think we got it wrong? drop us an email from your custom keyboard!) Plus we got a new type of alcohol that really promises to change the game, another product aiming to put the humble plunger out of a job, and what essentially adds up to a lasagna-covered pipe bomb. ERROR: Memory overload. Forgot what computers say when they're done doing computer stuff. Continue...? Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Miketober continues over at YKS Premium and this week we're doing Hellgate (1989) with the one and only Paul F. Tompkins! For perhaps our worst and least-available movie yet, we invited one of the nicest and funniest guys around to come deal with our shit for a while. Hellgate imagines a one horse town, left for dead, first figuratively, then literally, and well a bunch of stuff happens and a lady goes crazy kind of. I'm not actually sure what it is about because it is god awful but we'll all be talking about it together, this Friday, only on the YKS Premium Patreon! Today's show is sponsored by NordVPN. I am using NodVPN, as I sit here and type out this copy, to unlock the world of entertainment television from the comfort of my home office. Yes, it's true, even an entertainment maven such as myself has something to gain from teaming up with NordVPN, and you can too. Just go to NordVPN.com/YKS for a deal so absurd you'll barely believe it. 73% off and 4 months free. Good lord. Stop reading this and go be entertained!YKS is also brought to you by BetterHelp. Boy stuff sure is wild sometimes, huh? That's how I feel anyways. Well I'm not a doctor or even that smart of a guy so maybe I shouldn't say that. Stuff sure is, sometimes, huh? Actually I only did like 2 years of philosophy so maybe I shouldn't say that either. Point is, there's people out there who actually can tell you whether stuff is, or is wild, and if you ask me it's nice to talk to 'em. If you want a professional, open-minded, and most of all, CLASSY therapist, head on over to BetterHelp.com/YKS for 10% off your first month. The therapy is still 100% good though so don't worry about that. They're still gonna try.
10/18/2021

Episode 223: But His Emails!

In a world...where a man needed every email he'd ever sent, and his friends thought he was crazy...a hero emerged...and it was the man, from before. The one with the emails...Coming soon to whatever the funniest streaming service to say would be...it's The Email Genius. On today's show, we're talking about why I'm so great, how I'm great, why I'm the best, etc. Plus Mike goes Poop Cop Mode and we listen to some Chap Hop! Oh and the projects are like, a porno guy and a shoe and a towel. Not that great but that's why we did all the other stuff. We knew it sucked! That's why we were funny this time!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Miketober continues over at YKS Premium and this week we're doing The Stuff (1985)! A mysterious new treat is sweeping the nation, and its most devoted fans find that they just can't eating it...and they don't want anything else. Who better to discuss the horror of junk food consumption than our friends The Doughboys! That's right, Nick Wiger and Mike Mitchell join us this Friday for The Stuff, only on YKS Premium!YKS is sponsored by Manscaped. Hate not getting 20% off plus free shipping on your order of men's top grooming essentials? Yeah, we did too. That's why we hacked into the Manscaped Mainframe (Manframe) and deployed our own Manscaped Malicious (Manlicious) code...it was all for you! Mike was the guy doing backflips in the server room, while I sat down the block in a very normal looking work van filled to the brim with computers and wires and stuff. Everything went great (well, Mike broke his neck doing a cartwheel off a networking rack) and now the discount is yours: 20% off and free shipping at Manscaped with the code YKS20! Do it for Mikey!Also sponsoring this week's episode is HelloFresh. Ding-dong! It's time to get organized! Just to get you started, how about a big box full of classic autumn vegetables, such as...pumpkin, maybe? And crust? Pumpkin and crust...now there's a perfect union! Hell, they've got my vote! Anyway to tell you the truth I didn't get a pumpkin. I got normal stuff like, fish and whatnot, which was also good. But maybe you'll get a pumpkin. At any rate, what I do is basically take the stuff out of the box and cook it. What you do with it after that is up to you but I suggest eating the food. I'll leave the rest to your imagination...Try it for yourself today at HelloFresh.com/YKS14 and you're gonna wanna use that promo code as well, YKS14 for 14 free meals and free shipping! Wow-ee I can't wait to eat my pumpkin!
10/11/2021

Episode 222: Bat in the Cave

e.g., On this award-winning show, we dive deep into the psyches of the world's cereal killers. Does Snap make Crackle Pop? And is Tony really that grrreat after all? All this, and more, from Cereal<--- That's the suggested text for the description box of this episode, so now you can make an informed decision as to whether my descriptions are good or not. I don't have an opinion either way. I'm just sitting here doing my thing. On today's show, we've got not one but TWO top tens for a total of top twenty, a 21 beep salute for our fallen smoke alarms, and also something called Trevr Huntr, I think. Plus, Mike fucks me over on the 6-pack once again. All this, and more, from Cereal. Just kidding.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Want more YKS? Oh golly! We're plum fresh out. NOT. Check out YKS Premium Presents: Miketober, our exclusive monthlong series over at Patreon. This week's episode: our friend Katherine Krueger of Elle and Discourse joins us for Slumber Party Massacre (1982)! Yaaay! I'm doing the Kermit waving his arms around thing! This week's YKS is sponsored by Honey. Now this here is a little guy that lives in your web browser and wants to save you money. Best of all, he's stupid as hell so he can't send out any of your info to the bad guys. He just plum forgets it! But we still love him. Hell, he saved me some dollars on a hat which I will wear every day. Thanks, Honey. Check him out at JoinHoney.com/YKS!!Also sponsoring today's show is BetterHelp. Nothing puts a smile on my face like knowing I'll never suffer an uncomfortable waiting room ever again. From now on, I'm sitting at home, where I like being! Get yourself that same feeling of pure bliss, and also some other good stuff for mental health as well, by going to BetterHelp.com/YKS for 10% off your first month of no waiting rooms and professional counseling, from BetterHelp!
10/4/2021

Episode 221: New Crypto Scam Just Dropped

Monday morning...Guess it's time to pour a cup of java, head to "my office" to drop some stink off, and tune in to the best podcast known to man. And after I'm done with whatever that is, I'll be listening to YKS, the show for which these next few paragraphs should serve as the description!On today's show we're talking about the wild world of wrasslin' (with apologies to all our friends who love it), possibly renaming Green Knight to reflect how nothing happens in it (Stink Night?), and an Mike's intense love affair with the scroll wheel. Plus, we're blowing away the poopoos with compressed air, sleeping at the hospital in a pine box, and narrating a dog jumping on a fence to millions of adoring fans. It's just THAT kinda day on YKS, folks, and if you don't think that's miracle shit, then it's not for you and very little is!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Want more YKS? And would rather it be about horror movies than Kickstarters, feature good segments instead of bad ones, and have incredible guests instead of none at all? Kind of makes you think that should be the show all the time, huh? Nope! It's just one month and it's only on YKS Premium Presents: Miketober! This week's episode: Nic Newsham of Gatsby's American Dream joins us for Halloween III: Season of the Witch! No tricks, all treats baby!This week's episode is brought to you by HelloFresh! Ohhhh Hello Fresh! They're the number one meal delivery service in America for a reason...and the reason, you have to assume, is their excellent working relationship with the Your Kickstarter Sucks podcast. In fact, things have been going SO well between us that they gave us the all clear to hook our listeners up with a deal of dare I say epic proportions? Or portions, perhaps! That's right, heading over to HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks14 and using the promo code yourkickstartersucks14 is gonna get ya 14 free meals plus free shipping. Now That's Fresh!
9/27/2021

Episode 220: Faith Meat

Hey everyone well it's a new episode of YKS! Writing these things is fuckin' torture but we're gonna grit our teeth and get through it, okay? Just a couple more sentences. I already did the other parts and this is the last thing I'm doing before I get some lunch. I left my notes downstairs so I'm going to try to remember what we talked about instead. Ok I think there's a social media website on here for sure. And I remember the kids who were trying to do a guitar solo or something. That was pretty funny. Wow we're almost done. Okay, plus! A very frightening update on the pussy steamer from 2019. And we're done. I hope everyone enjoyed that because it took me down to like 2 hp and I need a bunch of beef jerky now. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Want more YKS? Well, I reckon the place to get it is the YKS Premium Patreon. And now is a great time to jump in, gang, because October is Miketober all month long! Join us and some very special guests as we comb through Mike's catalog of scary movies (and the Wolfman's hair! Yuck!). It's gonna be a real scream! This week on YKS Premium: the one and only Howell Dawdy returns to discuss Berserker (1987)! And coming up right before that, a Squeeze Louise mailbag! Hell of a week to join YKS Premium. Hell of a week.Today's show is brought to you by...Gumball! Zuhh??? Who sponsors the sponsors? That's right gang, Gumball.FM is a great place to look at, buy, or sell ads, or think about them or whatever you want. I personally like to go on there to see what ads I'm reading this week. But if I were a product or service, I might want to buy an ad...on this podcast even! Check em out over there, and check us out too. And don't forget to enjoy products and/or services, alright?!Also sponsoring today's show? BetterHelp! Oh, it's BetterHelp! Now here's the place to go for professional, convenient, and affordable counseling. It's basically counseling, except they put their own special twist of being professional, convenient, and affordable on it. Other therapists sitting there going, "D'oh! Why didn't I think of that?!" Well, too late! BetterHelp beat ya to the punch. Try 'em out today at BetterHelp.com/yks and get 10% off your first month.
9/20/2021

Episode 219: The Bread Shelf

Sorry antivaxxers!!! It's time to listen to an episode of YKS: another Wowmazing! show from Dingo Products. On today's show, we're talking about how damn FINE I look in black jeans, plus a bunch of other crap who cares. These jeans, though, wow! They really hug all my curves, and are buttery soft. I've been turning them inside out in the wash so they don't bleed even though honestly that doesn't make much sense to me. They get wet either way, right? If the inside of the clothes don't get wet in the washer, what the hell am I even doing? Makes no sense. But that's what it says on the tag there. Man that's sad about Norm MacDonald, huh? Okay enjoy the show. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Need more YKS so much you can't stand it? The place to go is YKS Premium -- now with video! We have a great slate of episodes planned for Miketober but you might as well get in now as we smash the 2 or 3 remaining brain cells we have together in a vain attempt to come up with some good shit before then. It might work!This week's YKS is sponsored by Manscaped -- now folks, I've talked a lot of shit in my day but here's the real scoop: Manscaped makes some good ass products! You can catch me with the Lawnmower 4.0, shears (nails, eyebrow, etc), and cologne. And the crop gel is, hand to god, the best shave gel I've ever used. It's sooooooooo slick. Damn! If you want to try any of this stuff for yourself, first of all I don't blame ya one bit. Secondly, it would be a big help to me personally if you'd use the promo code YKS20 at checkout. Oh shit, and it actually helps you out, too? Because you get 20% off and free shipping? Wow. I guess I don't see why you wouldn't do it then! Unless you're a bad person....???
9/13/2021

Episode 218: The Cult of JF

Another YKS? Zuhhh? Why don't these guys just quit while they were ahead! They were doing so great! I really love them but it makes me so mad that they won't stop doing episodes, and defeating my salty ass in the process! <---- Sadly, this is what many of our haters sound like today as we release another episode of our beloved podcast. Unfortunately we just can't help these people, as they're determined to not be happy by listening to our wonderful show! Assuming they can get over themselves, they've got some great stuff to listen to today: we've got the big toilet paper brand run down, Mike's wistful memories of his wooden car, and yes, finally, nice dogs telling jokes! So give us a Howdy Dowdy Doo and Gobbledy Gobbledy Goo, and pop the headphones in. It's another (sorry haters!) YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.This week's YKS is sponsored by Honey! When it comes to discount codes, I gotta say Honey is the undisputed champ! Whether it's protein bars, new jeans, or fancy trash bags, Honey has probably got a code to save you some of that cold hard cashola. And maybe you buy other stuff, too, I don't know! That's just what I like. Check 'em out for yourself at JoinHoney.com/YKS and tell 'em the Fancy Trash Lad sent ya!YKS is also brought to you by BetterHelp. Let's get out there and get some help, gang. Confidential, Convenient, Professional, and Affordable: you get 'em all with BetterHelp! No, you don't gotta pinch yourself, they really stuffed all that in there. Hey I need these guys to help me pack my luggage. Probably not going to be going on a trip for a while you know. But you gotta admit it would be pretty cool. Join over 1 million people who love listening to YKS and have taken charge of their mental health (unrelated) by going to BetterHelp.com/YKS. Get 10% off your first month while you're there! By going there!Want more YKS? Yeah, me too! That's why I subscribed to YKS Premium, the place to be for all the biggest YKS fans to chill, hangout, and listen to YKS! This week on the show, a little birdy told me the charismatic and handsome YKS hosts might be responding to all our suggestions about where they should move and reviewing the best and worst "twin movies" ever put to whatever they record movies on now. Wow! I really want to check that out! I'm just a normal fan. Okay, JF out. I mean, not JF! Oh crap!!!
9/6/2021

Episode 217: American Friend John Hamburger

Hold on to your butt, Mike, cause we're crankin this thing up to 79.8 gigawatts and going back in time! Or forward in time. Whatever the hell that movie is about, I couldn't honestly tell you. On today's YKS, we're imagining a world where all the Proud Boys are safely under the ocean, playing some erotic games, and, oh my god, sharing memes finally. Fuck yes! We can finally share memes! I've had all these memes here just sitting around and I...wow. This is big. Okay, you're gonna wanna tune into this one. For the lols! That's a meme I just shared! Oh god I'm gonna blow!!!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.This week's episode of YKS is sponsored by Signalwire -- the ONLY place to get easily deployable SDKs and APIs this side of, well, anywhere, I'm pretty sure! Whether you're into video collaboration tools or jam-packed virtual concerts, Signalwire is where it's all happening. Try it today at Signalwire.com/YKS and get $25 of developer credit with the promo code YKS. And jam on, dude!!!Also sponsoring this week's show: HelloFresh! Now I'll be honest with ya, folks. I consider myself a seafood fan, but I can't recall ever trying the species of catadromous fish that Australis Aquaculture once called the "It" Fish...until HelloFresh stepped in. "Open up!" they said. And open I did. What a meal. What a delight. A whole new fish, in my mouth, and I look cool for being ahead of the curve? Are you kidding me? Where do I sign up? Here, I'll tell ya: HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks14 is the place to go, and yourkickstartersucks14 is the code to use for 14 free meals and free shipping. What will YOU try next? You can't say barramundi, because that's what I said. Get your own thing.Want more YKS? Well the only place you're gonna get it, unless you kick down my fuckin' door and force me to riff like crazy, which is a CRIME brother, and I've got a bunch of Home Alone traps set up too so don't try it, is to sign up for YKS Premium over on Patreon. We've got a big month coming up, as you may well know, but I'll be damned if we ain't still pumpin' out good shit every week leading up to it anyway. This past week we looked at another half dozen or so projects you can force us to buy, and oh yeah...it's all on video!!! Check it out now and binge every single second of the past 4 years until it's scary movie time and "you know what"...
8/30/2021

Episode 216: Rat Stuck In Airlock

Hey everybody have you seen my balls they're...well, you know the rest! I guess I better stop singing a song and get on with typing out the episode description, huh? This week on YKS we're talkin' all the latest websites that have dropped, remembering the combo TV/VCR, The Crag Cave, and even more sexy ideas. Sorry if you feel cheated, but we're in The Goldilocks Zone (references to this episode)! Read on for more references to the show you're about to listen to, plus general information about us and our creative partners. Won't hurt you none. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS is brought to you this week by SignalWire...now this is the place to go, I'm telling you, if you want to build the future of video communication. Because they're already doing it! You're gonna wonder how we ever did virtual live concerts without 'em! Try it right this very second at SignalWire.com with promo code YKS to get $25 in developer credit. And say hello to the future for us!Also sponsoring the show this week is BetterHelp. Sick of inconvenient, unprofessional, unaffordable counseling? Well, the BetterHelp folks were too. That's why they invented BetterHelp. And that's what kicked off this beautiful relationship we have here. And a lot more beautiful relationships as well I would assume (although it's all confidential so I have no idea). Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp with promo code YKS and start having some good relationships or whatever! Hey gang, if you need more YKS in your life, I'm the last guy on Earth who's gonna blame ya for that. This week on YKS Premium...not sure yet, but we got the Squeeze Louise mailbag coming out tomorrow! Check it out!