Your Kickstarter Sucks
Episode 189: It's A Woman Thing
Ohhhh folks! It's another episode of YKS. They keep doing these things so hopefully you'll keep listening to 'em. On today's show, we are in our Juice Groove trying to figure out what's the deal with cutting boards Jerry Seinfeld voice, enjoying objects d'art instead of watching the Idiot Box, and celebrating our Queen Nancy Pelosi with a bizarre gift that not even that nasty old wretch could enjoy. I figure, hey, unless you're a big time surgeon slicing people open and putting all kinds of stuff in there, you can probably listen to the show while you work. And you know, honestly, even those guys gotta take smoke breaks sometimes so get them in here too. It's fun for the whole family (minus the kids, grandparents, most parents, people who like church, board game guys, crypto currency investors, and the normal serotonin having crew. So basically just for dogs.) It's YKS: The Show For Dogs. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer PBostrom.YKS is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to BetterHelp.com/YKS to see why 1,500,000 people are going on there to get professional counseling services. Hey I'll save you some time. One reason is they don't have those stinking magazines you get at the in-person counseling office. Yuck! Who wants to read that junk? Not me. I'll stick to never reading anything for basically my entire adult life, thank you very much. It's 10% off at BetterHelp.com/YKS, so that's basically where I'd go if I were you. And we're also brought to you by the folks over at HelloFresh. Let me tell you something about HelloFresh, brother. There ain't no better way to get simple, fresh meal kits delivered to your house. Oh, and it's good for the environment, oh and it's healthy, oh and...and..and...somebody stop me, I'm going crazy for HelloFresh! Anyhow the food is good, and you know because I ate it (I only eat good food). Give 'em a whirl at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks10 and use the promo code yourkickstartersucks10 for 10 free meals and free shipping.Last but not least, folks, we've got the YKS Premium Patreon feed. If you've ever wanted to get on there and see what happens when Mike and JF let their hair down, there's no better time to do it than right now. We're getting close to the thrilling conclusion of Jessuary 2021, an event unlike any other. Come and see what the likes of Jon Gabrus, Sarah Squirm, and renowned pilot hero Sully Sullenberger have to say about some of Jesse's favorite dumb guy flicks.**Certain guests cut for time
Episode 188: Jessuary Year 2 Episode 3: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen with Jon Gabrus
All the characters from all the different works of literature come together with everything for a HUGE MOVIE! We're joined by one of the only guys on the planet who loves ridiculous movies as much as JF does, Jon Gabrus, to discuss when podcast guys are your actual friends, not reading too many books ever, and how bad it feels when some guy builds 8 boats if all you ever built was 1 boat. Check out Gabrus's pod Action Boyz at https://www.patreon.com/ActionBoyz Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer PBostrom.YKS is sponsored by Betterhelp. Go to BetterHelp.com/YKS to find a professional, affordable counselor you can talk to over the computer. 1.5M people are already on there talking to counselors on the computer. Hell if you put that on TV it'd be some high ratings. Obviously they aren't going to do that, due to it would violate privacy. TV is kind of bad now anyway. I'm over it! And if you liked this episode of Jessuary, we've got even more available on the YKS Premium Patreon. This Friday, Sarah Squirm returns to review the Jeff Bridges/Ryan Reynolds dead buddy dead-em-up, R.I.P.D.! Here's a preview: Sarah hated it!
Episode 187: B. Creamy
Truth, Dare, or Spoon! Oh my god, I guess I'll go with SPOON! Hahaha. Oh sick there's mayonnaise in here...Yuckeroo! I can't wait til my 39th birthday tomorrow haha. That's just one writer's guess at what's going on in the living rooms and dens of annoying glasses wearing guys around the country. Also on today's show we've got the debut of 3 new characters: Mr. Food, Flip Flop Farrar, and The Michael Jordan of Coins. Probably couldn't find that many characters in Kanji, the adopted logographic Chinese characters that are used in the Japanese writing system. We also have an update on a stupid fuckin thing that squirts goo into your banana. So that's something to look forward to. Alright I'll see ya in there gang. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer PBostrom.This week, YKS is sponsored by Hello Fresh. This is the place ya wanna go if ya want fresh, easy meals delivered to your door. All you have to do is say, "Hello!" Try em out with the Official YKS Discount at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks10 and use the promo code yourkickstartersucks10 to get 10 free meals and free shipping! Oh baby! Taste the flavors!We're also brought to you by Manscaped. Now, the Lawnmower 3.0 is what the whole world is talking about, but they sent us some of their cologne and it's actually crazy good. It smells like cologne, you know, I don't know what the scent is. But I put it on and walk around my house knowing that I smell pretty decent. That's about all you can ask for from a cologne, I think. Not gonna fix the whole world but got a good sniff to it. Anyway when you go over there use promo code YKS please -- this helps the show out and it also helps out your groin area!Jessuary continues over at the YKS Premium Patreon: this week, don't "Fuggedaboutit!" cause we've got a great episode. Chris James, Rob Whisman, and Stefan Heck are on to discuss Frank D'Angelo's 125-minute long card-playing drama Sicilian Vampire.
Episode 186: Remote Daddy and Dirty Dawg
Covid-19 sucks so bad....I really want to put my crap on it. No, I'm serious. I want to wipe my butt with Covid-19!! Yeah!! I'm going to do this. I think I'll do it. And I'll tell other people to help me do it...to put my butt on Covid-19. Sick of this guy! We presume that is the thought process responsible for bringing "Fuck Covid Toilet Paper" to the world, but hell I don't know, I just read the stuff. I barely wipe my ass with any of the products we make fun of on here. Anyway also this week we have a new thing to make video chatting even more lame and annoying, an app for stopping fake restaurant reviews with the power of QR codes, and a way to keep hold of the GOD damn remote, which should be in the same spot every time. Why the fuck is it over there! Fuck! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer PBostrom.It's a big week, and I mean a BIG WEEK on the YKS Premium Patreon, folks! It's the start of Jesseuary Year 2, and we're kicking it off with a big, destructive monster who, despite his frightening outward appearance, is actually a gentle giant whom I love very much. I'm talking about Godzilla. Makes sense. And the guest is our friend Dan O'Sullivan who, come to think of it, I'm quite fond of as well. Join us for this kickoff mega episode on 2019's King of the Monsters and stick around all month long for some more great Jesse Movies and guests.
Episode 185: Tug & Bean
Oh, you know we're buzzin! It's YKS baby! On today's show we've got the first-ever DOUBLE update on an old Kickstarter...some crap from the past, but twice! And of course the new crop of crap is here as well, on a big silver platter on a white linen covered table with wheels like you get in the fancy hotels. Oh boy I hope there's one packet of catsup and a very small container of too-hard butter in there. Either way it's going to be worth at least $95. Even if all that's there is a billboard yelling at DC politicians (in St Louis), an Inception-like look at the sovereign citizen movement, and a penis mobile. Plus a couple of emails, some voicemails, and about an hour of two guys goin "Now what in the darn heck is this!" Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer PBostrom.The YKS Premium Patreon is litty!!!! That doesn't feel good to type that, so you gotta know how much it really is popping off over there. This week, we're heading back to What The Fund World to find out what the hell is going on with all the crap we've bought on Kickstarter recently, and to figure out what kind of crap we need to buy in the future (not good!) And next month we're kicking off Jesseuary, with a slate of great guests and stupid ass movies only a Jesse could love. And there's only one place to hear it...say it with me now! The littiest place on Earth! YKS Premium!
Episode 184: Wango Dango Fla’mango Tango
Yeee-haw! That's what I'd say if I were a big Texas cowboy type of guy. And here's another character I've been working on: "The Butler". Hello, ma'am. Welcome home for the evening. Your gown is in the foyer. I have a lot of these guys I never really get to do on the show because we're always talking about Kickstarter stuff. Which I guess is what I should be mentioning right about now. Oh well. Today on the show we have a new cube to talk about, which is great, even though I didn't get to do my Mad Scientist character. He goes like, Mwah haha haha. And we also have a Grumpy Cat LEGO type of thing. I did not have a character for that one, but I can make up one now. It's called, like, Clock Man. Well it looks like it's time to stop doing this character. Ok that was pretty good for being on the spot. There are some other Kickstarters on there too but basically just know there's like very little if any character work this week but next week Mike said we can do a lot more ok see ya. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer PBostrom.Hey if you like us and you like our friend and frequent guest Chris James of Not Even A Show, you're probably gonna wanna take a peek at our new show Good Morning, Good Morning. It's over on Stitcher Premium, which is a different website to get our stuff than normal. That's because the show is not your typical YKS. We've put on our writing and acting and directing hats and planned out a stupid little world for our idiot characters to get fucked up in. And we've got some great guests on there as well: Nick Wiger, Carl Tart, Brendon Walsh, Longmont Potion Castle, and a bunch more of our friends drop by to fart around. So check it out and use promo code SUCKS for a nice discount off the top. Plus, on YKS Premium this week we've got the return of YKS Classic Segment Real or Fake...will Mike show his ass once again or, will he for some reason, triumph over the impossible odds of guessing correctly which dipshit products I have made up? Hey, either way, listening to him try is half the fun. Actually it's all the fun for you. There's no other fun than that. Listening to us is all the fun.
Episode 183: Even Sharper Image
2020 was one hell of a year...emphasis on the HELL part! Still, I'd love to relive it for some reason with a half-assed board game. And if that gets boring, maybe I'll head over to the gaming PC to boot up some warmed over shit from circa-1999 Newgrounds Flash barf. Even though neither of those things sounds that good to do, I'm still going to do them. If you want to stop me, you're going to have to tone up your butt muscles, slap on your Billionaire Suit, and hit the Prayers App. Cat Toilet. Couldn't work in the last one but getting 5 in there is not too shabby. Get in here you old dogs, it's time for YKS! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer PBostrom.YKS is sponsored by NordVPN. If there's a faster, more convenient VPN service, they sure haven't told me about it yet. Use promo code YKS at NordVPN.com/yks for a steal of a deal on your next Netflix-juking, Chrome-extending, data-shredding VPN subscription.Oh boy, and after all that, there's still YKS Premium comin' out every Friday. This week on the program we have our friend Chris James joining us to talk about our new Stitcher Premium show Good Morning, Good Morning, pitch some new prank calls, and run through the Jokeblogger Top 10. Now that's what I call a Premium Experience!
Episode 182: Success IdeaThink
It's 2021 everyone, where everything is good again. We still have to do the show though, so sorry about that! This week on the show we're talking about the long-awaited crossover between NES games and the world of Pawn Stars, a mask for people who want to look like a big egg, humping Disney characters, and using your balls as a penis. Plus we're one-upping the 100 Ideas list from a while ago with an even bigger list of even worse ideas. There are like 4000 of these things. They are terrible. Here's one: "A zip that if left unzipped for more than 1 min starts screaming" -- What's that? No idea. They aren't really too much better than that one on average. Anyway that's 2021 for ya folks so get in here before we start hating this one too. Music for YKS is courtesy of the Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer PBostrom.This week's YKS is sponsored by HelloFresh. Hey you gotta eat anyway. Might as well eat HelloFresh. Try 'em yourself at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks10 and use promo code yourkickstartersucks10 for 10 free meals including free shipping. Now that's lot of free bleep!!! Plus we got our friends over at Manscaped. Do your penis a favor for once and buy it Manscaped. New Year, New Penis! Get 20% off and free shipping at Manscaped.com with promo code YKS. Of course we've got YKS Premium as well, which is good for folks who need even more YKS content. This week on the show, Producer Dan finally joins us in the YKS DigiStudio for a watchalong of Gun Safety for Women, another entry in the Cool Cat Cinematic Universe. This one really sucks and it was brutal to watch. So come listen to us do that for ya, and check the YKS Pisscord (Discord) for more info!
Episode 181: Who Wants To Be An Extreme Millionaire w/ Blocked Party Guys
It's the end of the year as we know it....And I feel fine!!! It's from a famous song! It's a parody! Look it up! When it comes to finishing up the HELL YEAR!!! you know we had to do it big: deleting the episode we actually recorded by accident, then scrambling to replace it with the Premium episode we recorded the week before, and not having a plan for how to replace that. But you know what, I think it worked out pretty good. That's right, we brought our friends from Blocked Party back to see if they can redeem themselves after a pitiful performance on YKS Millionaire last time around. Did they do it? Did they win the million? Or did they bring shame to their family and podcast and Twitch streams once again? Also is Blippy there for some reason? Yep! Hell of a show, and a hell of a couple guys. Even Producer Dan is in on this one. What da!!!!Music for YKS is courtesy of the Hell Yeah Babies, Craig Dickman, Howell Dawdy, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer PBostrom.This week's YKS is brought to you byNordVPN. In my opinion you would have to be certifiably insane to use any other VPN service. Hey man get in that padded room, or if you want the best VPN experience around, take it from your friend JF and head on over to the website I'm talking about. Plus, usepromo code YKSto get 4 months free with a 2 year subscription. And that's the bottom line! And coming up on theYKS Premium Patreonthis week,oh my god I hope we think of something cause this was supposed to be the show! Fuck!!!