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Your Kickstarter Sucks

A podcast about terrible ideas

Useless robots, minimalist shoes, and "offensive" card games up to the friggin' Pope's stinky eyeballs! (Ewww!) That's crowdfunding in a nutshell, but it's also our modern world - a vast creativity desert, populated almo
Latest Episode8/15/2022

Episode 264: 1 Trick Egg

Damn! I need a low-consumption and energy-saving ice-making cooling cup. But where in the hell…oh! I guess I can get it just about every week on Kickstarter: the website that used to be about cryptocurrency, we think. Gang, on today’s show we’re gettin the monchies, okay? We’re going eemee meemee mimee mow, okay? And we’re extracting chicken tendons like there’s no tomorrow. But god willing, there will be a tomorrow. Because there has to be. Because there needs to be. And if there’s not, we’ll make one. For everyone. What the fuck? I don’t know why I said that, sorry. I think I downloaded the Kamala Harris program or something. Anyway enjoy the program.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium is so much fun…YKS Premium is Number One! That’s sort of an alternate history theme song. In a timeline where I wrote the theme songs and really didn’t spend too much time on them…because I was also a world-class glass blowing artisan! Wow! Somebody call the guy who wrote all those alternate histories! Anyway, YKS Premium was a great one last week with the Erin, Adal, and JPC of Hey Riddle Riddle. And this week is exactly the same, except instead of hilarious guests and a cool idea, it’s just the two regular guys with no ideas. Tune in to hear all about “The Goated Player”’s posts of the week, help us decide “What” to “Fund”, and later this month, our Squeeze Louise exclusive mailbag episode drops! Check it out at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksThis episode of YKS is sponsored by BetterHelp. I guess if you really think about it, your brain is pretty important. Hey, you just used it to have that last thought, right? Well, keep the good thoughts rolling and try some dang therapy. Now, it’s online! Get 10% off your first month at Betterhelp.com/yks
8/15/2022

Episode 264: 1 Trick Egg

Damn! I need a low-consumption and energy-saving ice-making cooling cup. But where in the hell…oh! I guess I can get it just about every week on Kickstarter: the website that used to be about cryptocurrency, we think. Gang, on today’s show we’re gettin the monchies, okay? We’re going eemee meemee mimee mow, okay? And we’re extracting chicken tendons like there’s no tomorrow. But god willing, there will be a tomorrow. Because there has to be. Because there needs to be. And if there’s not, we’ll make one. For everyone. What the fuck? I don’t know why I said that, sorry. I think I downloaded the Kamala Harris program or something. Anyway enjoy the program.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium is so much fun…YKS Premium is Number One! That’s sort of an alternate history theme song. In a timeline where I wrote the theme songs and really didn’t spend too much time on them…because I was also a world-class glass blowing artisan! Wow! Somebody call the guy who wrote all those alternate histories! Anyway, YKS Premium was a great one last week with the Erin, Adal, and JPC of Hey Riddle Riddle. And this week is exactly the same, except instead of hilarious guests and a cool idea, it’s just the two regular guys with no ideas. Tune in to hear all about “The Goated Player”’s posts of the week, help us decide “What” to “Fund”, and later this month, our Squeeze Louise exclusive mailbag episode drops! Check it out at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksThis episode of YKS is sponsored by BetterHelp. I guess if you really think about it, your brain is pretty important. Hey, you just used it to have that last thought, right? Well, keep the good thoughts rolling and try some dang therapy. Now, it’s online! Get 10% off your first month at Betterhelp.com/yks
8/8/2022

Episode 263: And Even More!

You know, it’s not every day that a brand new episode of YKS comes out and immediately gets downloaded to your phone, and you let it suck up 100mb of space while you wait for some bad chores to zone out during. It’s actually every Monday, and as luck would have it, that’s the day of the week that today is! So we put together some questions for our resident Earologist, named the TV Bitch, and remembered fondly the Music City Miracle, plus exposed cancel culture, ate some panties, and made some songs with a computer. Alright, I think that’s good enough to fold laundry to.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium! It seems hard to believe at times, but there is even more YKS available for listening and viewing! Check us out over at Patreon to catch up on YKS Beach Party, to see our faces move around when we talk, and get our exclusive mailbag episodes! Coming up this week on YKS Premium: our new friends from Hey Riddle Riddle join us and we try to “Stump the Schwab” them! But instead of stumping, it’s Jokeblogger and Facebook riddles, and instead of Schwab, it’s Erin, Adal, and JPC. Stump the Schwab is a sports trivia show that aired on ESPN 2 about 20 years ago. But what I’m talking about comes out on Friday!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor - Now you know they call me Mr. Food for a reason – I’m always eating the stuff! But my word does it get tiring, all the planning and prepping and stuff. Well Factor said, “Forget about it!” and put some of the nice food in a box so they can mail it to you! Nice! I love mail! Get $120 off at go.factor75.com/yks120Athletic Greens - Green: it’s one of the colors on the big color wheel and rainbow and stuff, but it’s also something you can eat that gives you energy and vitamins and extra HP. Get 1 year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/yksBetterhelp - Help! I need somebody! Help! Probably can’t write out the rest of the lyrics for copyright reasons, and also I should say, I wasn’t writing lyrics, I was just talking out loud. And I was using voice to text. And it was my neighbor talking. Anyway sometimes you need some help, and for my money, therapy’s a good place to get it. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS
8/1/2022

Episode 262: Everythings Good

What’s this episode of YKS about? Well, I can tell you what it’s NOT about: saturated fat, trans fat, cholesterol, dietary fiber, total sugars, added sugars, vitamin D, calcium, iron, or potassium. Plus it comes in a small aluminum can with a “color swirl design”, and can be purchased in quantities of 8 or 24. And it tastes alright once you get to be in your 30s. Plus, we’re talking woke fetuses, sales couches, and morbin’ time. Basically a bunch of stupid crap you can see if you go on the computer. And I shoved a “Beach Plum” up my ass. Whatever that is.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium! The only place they let us actually be ourselves! This past week, we finished up YKS Beach Party with the one and only Howell Dawdy! Join us for an in-depth discussion of Miss Cast Away and the Island Girls, aka Silly Movie 2. Was it Jacko’s finest work? Well, uh. No! But it was fun anyway. Plus, tomorrow, the Squeeze Louise Mailbag drops! Get YKS Premium today or upgrade your sub to see all our video episodes at Patreon.com/YourKickstarterSucksThis episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:HelloFresh - Meals = Food. imagine I just wrote that on the chalkboard at the front of the class. Intimidating, huh? Well, it shouldn’t be. Ideally, you should have this stuff sent to your house in a big box, which you can then open up with like a knife or fork or something. Then it’s time to eat. And hey, you already got the knife and fork. Nice! Get 16 free meals and 3 free gifts at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks16BetterHelp - I love my brain! But damn it needs to get it in gear sometimes. That’s why I get plenty of sleep, do my little exercises, and yes, go to therapy! It’s all part of whipping my brain into submission. Throw in going on the computer as well? Forget about it! Get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/yks
7/25/2022

Episode 261: YKS Nights 3: YKS Afternoons

Mike and JF…they are are one “Odd Couple”. Sure, “I Love Lucy”, but something about these two really makes me smile. I guess you could say I’m “Bewitched” by them. Oh, you don’t listen? Well, hey, “Diff’rent Strokes” for different folks. By the way, I have captured and tied up the extraterrestrial creature known as “ALF”; he’s in my basement right now! And so on. Today’s YKS is a good one for everybody but Italians I’m sorry to say, but the rest of you are going to be treated to some new kitchen innovations, a twisted ripoff card game of a twisted ripoff card game, and believe it or not, a really corny and stupid webcomic! It’s a “The Facts Of Life” that you’re gonna like this one! Sorry I closed the Nick at Nite Wiki and couldn’t remember any other ones. Okay see ya. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Bikinis? Check. Robot sidekicks? Check. Michael Jackson? Say whaaaa? The YKS Beach Party continues over at YKS Premium! This week we’re talking the King of Pop’s final scripted role, as Agent MJ in a film known elsewhere as Silly Movie 2 and stateside as Miss Cast Away and the Island Girls. This pile of shit was so disgustingly bad we couldn’t bear to ask anyone normal to do it, so we got our friend,thememaster, and guy who loves garbage, Howell Dawdy back on to put it out of its misery!This week’s YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Diet Smoke - There’s nothing worse than being way too high. For some people, this may seem like hyperbole. For certain handsome others, it’s all too true! That’s where Diet Smoke’s “Just Right” level comes in. Plus they got a bunch of new flavors and sodas (SODAAAA!) too. Get 20% off every single time you use the code YKS20 at DietSmoke.comHoney - Prices go up…and so does my temper! Leading economists have termed this relationship “The Invisible Market”. But with Honey, we have an incredible tool to battle inflation (and maybe other types of -flation? Not sure). Just grab the free extension at JoinHoney.com/YKS and start clicking away to Savingstown! Now that’s what I call “Price Elasticity of Demand” (??)PolicyGenius - Life Insurance…now there’s a product that, when you buy it, you hope you never have to use it. But statistically speaking, everyone who has ever been born will most likely “pass away”. What a bummer. But it doesn’t have to be a bummer to shop for life insurance, and Policy Genius has seen to that. Their marketplace makes it easy to get the best price on the biggest policies…trust me, I used it! I’m being serious. It’s good to have life insurance. Check it out at PolicyGenius.com. I’m serious!
7/18/2022

Episode 260: YKS Nights 2

You know what they say about sequels…they’re just as good, if not much better, everyone comes away from them feeling satisfied, and more importantly, wanting even more! That’s why we decided to burn the candle at both ends and pump out another YKS Nights! It’s not because we’re fucking up our schedules! It’s a creative decision! This week we’ve got an answer to the question “What was John Wick like before the movies, and if it wasn’t Keanu Reeves in it?” , some shoes so ugly even JF wouldn’t wear them, and a device for killing bugs that makes that salt shotgun look ingenious by comparison. Plus, Producer Dan eats a burger LIVE! You ain’t gonna get that anywhere else…unless you see Dan walking around, I guess. In which case, DO NOT APPROACH!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.The Beach Party over at YKS Premium continues! Last week we had our friend Demi Lardner on for a game-packed show you’ll have to hear/see to believe! This week, Alex Goldman and the boys head to Camp…KnowhutImean??This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Doctor Butler’s - You ever get some stuff going on “down there”? Tried sitting on an ice cube and it just don’t cut the mustard? Well that’s why “the doc” came up with his famous five star ointments and wipes. Get 20% off your order at DoctorButlers.com when you use the code YKS at checkout! Your ass will thank you!HelloFresh - Meals, meals, meals, what are we up to, 3 a day now? How am I supposed to keep up with all the nonsense? Well, you can have a plan. A meal plan, that is! And you ain’t gonna get a better one than HelloFresh. Fresh, high quality ingredients you cook in your own home? Is that even legal? Oh yeah, I guess so. Probably not even a question, was it? Get 16 free meals and 3 free gifts at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks16! It’s legal!BetterHelp - This is your brain…this is your brain on 100% synthetic motor oil. Or something like that, I think. Your brain is a car. Get it? Start taking care of it! Sure you could pop a vitamin or go sit in the sun for a while – and you should! – but another way to do it is online therapy. And you can get 10% off your first month of that very thing at BetterHelp.com/yks
7/11/2022

Episode 259: YKS Nights

Oooh it’s steamy…ooh it’s dreamy…it’s YKS Nights! YKS Nights is just like YKS Daytime, except, you know, a little…steamier and dreamier. On this week’s episode we got a hell of a lot of hot shaving content that’ll turn you on without a touch. This is so hot, you gotta be yankin me! Come on Hoo Hoo Masters, it’s time to get all steamed up! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.You’re Invited! All month long on YKS Premium, we’re throwing the biggest blowout bash blast this side of Shangri-La! Join us and our many special guests as we celebrate the summer of silly the only way we know how: podcasting! If you’re not subscribed yet, you missed last week’s episode with our friends John Cullen and Stefan Heck of Blocked Party, who dialed in from the Left Coast to talk Surf School (2006), perhaps Harland Williams’ worst film! $5 today, (or even better, $8) and it’s all yours. More to come!This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Factor: Factor in the mornin, Factor in the evenin, Factor at suppertime…When Factor’s sponsoring the show, you can eat Factor anytime! Try out their healthy as hell and yummy as…hell…meals and get $120 off at go.Factor75.com/YKS!BetterHelp: What if you had one car for your whole life and had to take care of it? I imagine that would get pretty annoying. Well imagine the car lives in your head, and controls your mood and, well, you get the picture. You have to change your brain’s oil! And therapy, will help. Get 10% off your first month at Betterhelp.com/YKSAthletic Greens: Imagine your body is a car. Wait, no. It’s something though. Something important. And your gut is a part of that. You gotta get the right goop in there and it’s actually pretty hard. But Athletic Greens makes some good goop, and I like it, and it tastes pretty good. Give it a whirl and see if it don’t set ya right. Plus, get 5 free sample packs and a year’s supply of Vitamin D at AthleticGreens.com/YKS!Truebill: We have a love/hate with our subscriptions, don’t we? Yeah, we love to subscribe to them, and hate to cancel subscribing to them! That’s cause it’s too hard! Well TrueBill makes it easy to cancel your subscriptions, but of course it’s up to you to continue supporting people you care about. Because they really need it to buy new kinds of chips and yogurt. Just a heads up, 2022 is going to be a big yogurt year. Try it out now at Truebill.com/YKS!
7/4/2022

Episode 258: The Crazy Episode

Don’t miss this episode! Your old friends Mike and JF are back and they’re even wackier than ever before, due to probably a bunch of chemicals in our air and water and blood I’m guessing. On today’s show we got some evidence as to what happens when you ironically appreciate some evil stuff a little bit too much, when you unironically appreciate some other evil stuff way too much, and when you just straight up hate one single guy, who may or may not be evil, for unknown reasons. Believe it or not, every single time, it’s a Kickstarter project. Anyway, strap in and start hootin, cause it’s time for a wet and wild episode of YkS: ThE PoDcAsT!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.YKS Premium. Many people are saying listening to the show will “cure all your diseases.” Do I endorse that view? Well, I’ll say this. I’m the guy who makes the show and, as far as I know, the guy I pay $200 to look at my knee and smell my breath once a year says I’m “mostly fine, considering”. So what does that tell ya?This week’s episode is brought to you by these fine brands:Schedule35 - Stop picking up a bunch of stuff off the forest floor and eating it to see if it helps you with anxiety! That’s got to have a pretty low success rate, I would think? And you probably eat a lot of leaf litter?? Schedule35 has figured out the good stuff to eat Get 15% off your order at schedule35.co with the promo code YKS!HelloFresh - Food: It’s what’s for dinner! You ever drive down the road and see some restaurant and it’s named something like Eat N Stuff? What on Earth??? Who the hell is eating that mess? Not me. That’s cause I got HelloFresh. Get up to 16 free meals AND 3 free gifts at hellofresh.com/yourkickstartersucks16Doctor Butlers - Look, I’m not gonna sugarcoat this, okay? Sometimes you got a problem “back there”. And you gotta take care of business. No messing around. Get the stuff that works on your butt. Use code YKS 20% off at DoctorButlers.com and quit foolin around with lesser pastes!BetterHelp - This is your brain. This is your brain on therapy. For this visual aid to really workI would need two different eggs. And one of them is probably in somewhat worse shape than the other one. Unless the egg bit is copyrighted, in which case, I don’t know. It’s not eggs. It’s like, one egg. And a big bowl of worms. The point is, therapy is good for ya. Try it out, and get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/yks