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Your Kickstarter Sucks

A podcast about terrible ideas

Useless robots, minimalist shoes, and "offensive" card games up to the friggin' Pope's stinky eyeballs! (Ewww!) That's crowdfunding in a nutshell, but it's also our modern world - a vast creativity desert, populated almo
Latest Episode12/5/2022

Episode 280: It’s Giving

Damn my feet smell really bad! That’s not pertinent to today’s episode, but I do think it’s a compelling way to start off the episode description, because you start to go…hmm..I wonder if JF”s feet were stinking during the episode? Or, like did they maybe start to stink right after? And if so, why? Was he out running around without socks? Probably not, it’s winter, but maybe he rushed out the door to get the paper and stepped in a dog’s poop. But then you gotta wonder, do I get the paper delivered? And whose dog poop was it? He called the shit poop! Anyway on today’s episode, our werewolf values are under attack! So we go all the way in on another piece of crap landfill robot pet, luggage for people who miss Bird scooters, and a child’s idea. Equal opportunity offenders here, gang. It would actually be unfair if we didn’t do it. And, in fact, the mainstream media wouldn’t, so that’s why we have to. It’s important that we’re like this! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.I’m down on all fours beggin ya…check out YKS Premium! We’ve been on a “hot streak” lately, and last week’s Cool Cat Catch-Up episode is an absolute can’t-miss for anyone who likes weird little guys doing strange little things. Just $5 gets ya, on average, about 4.3 such Certified Classics per month, plus ad-free episodes and access to the YKS Pisscord!This week’s episode is brought to you by these fine brands:Schedule 35 – Mushrooms that make ya feel different, huh? Sounds good enough to build a whole kingdom around! I really believe that!! Get 15% Off with code YKS at Schedule35.co NordPass – There probably is someone out there who can memorize hundreds of secure passwords, credit card numbers, and other account information pertinent to business. But...it ain't you. That's why they came up with NordPass and gave you the "Normal Brain" discount! Get a 3 month free trial at NordPass.com/YKSHelloFresh – Meals...we all need to eat them and yet, where do they come from? Hard to say. Lot of them are plants, as I recall. And that's about all I know. I'm a meals amateur. The pros are over at HelloFresh! Go to HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks18 and use code yourkickstartersucks18 for 18 free meals plus free shipping to see if the stuff comes from plants or whatever it is. BetterHelp – Hey! You there! Like Help? Me too. That's why I go to therapy. But sometimes the hard part is the "going" part. So let's bring the therapy to you...just like your precious mail! Grab 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/yks and stop talking to your mail delivery person!NordVPN - EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!
12/5/2022

Episode 280: It’s Giving

Damn my feet smell really bad! That’s not pertinent to today’s episode, but I do think it’s a compelling way to start off the episode description, because you start to go…hmm..I wonder if JF”s feet were stinking during the episode? Or, like did they maybe start to stink right after? And if so, why? Was he out running around without socks? Probably not, it’s winter, but maybe he rushed out the door to get the paper and stepped in a dog’s poop. But then you gotta wonder, do I get the paper delivered? And whose dog poop was it? He called the shit poop! Anyway on today’s episode, our werewolf values are under attack! So we go all the way in on another piece of crap landfill robot pet, luggage for people who miss Bird scooters, and a child’s idea. Equal opportunity offenders here, gang. It would actually be unfair if we didn’t do it. And, in fact, the mainstream media wouldn’t, so that’s why we have to. It’s important that we’re like this! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.I’m down on all fours beggin ya…check out YKS Premium! We’ve been on a “hot streak” lately, and last week’s Cool Cat Catch-Up episode is an absolute can’t-miss for anyone who likes weird little guys doing strange little things. Just $5 gets ya, on average, about 4.3 such Certified Classics per month, plus ad-free episodes and access to the YKS Pisscord!This week’s episode is brought to you by these fine brands:Schedule 35 – Mushrooms that make ya feel different, huh? Sounds good enough to build a whole kingdom around! I really believe that!! Get 15% Off with code YKS at Schedule35.co NordPass – There probably is someone out there who can memorize hundreds of secure passwords, credit card numbers, and other account information pertinent to business. But...it ain't you. That's why they came up with NordPass and gave you the "Normal Brain" discount! Get a 3 month free trial at NordPass.com/YKSHelloFresh – Meals...we all need to eat them and yet, where do they come from? Hard to say. Lot of them are plants, as I recall. And that's about all I know. I'm a meals amateur. The pros are over at HelloFresh! Go to HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks18 and use code yourkickstartersucks18 for 18 free meals plus free shipping to see if the stuff comes from plants or whatever it is. BetterHelp – Hey! You there! Like Help? Me too. That's why I go to therapy. But sometimes the hard part is the "going" part. So let's bring the therapy to you...just like your precious mail! Grab 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/yks and stop talking to your mail delivery person!NordVPN - EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!
11/28/2022

Episode 279: Grandma’s Leg Washers

Well, Thanksgiving is over! All of the little cousins have gone on their walks, all of the uncles have done their politics, and all of the Karens have returned their half-eaten turkeys for store credit because they found a bird poop in the neckhole. Now what?! We all return to our schools or works?? And just sit there without eating a bunch of bread?? This sucks! Yeah, it does. That’s why they invented YKS. Hey, maybe this will kind of suck a little bit less. And if not, hey, free poop in the neckhole.  Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.More YKS! Many people are saying it. And many people are getting it as well, by going to Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks! Find bonus episodes, hundreds of hours of video, merch discounts, and more at the URL at the end of the previous sentence. jThis episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:NordVPN - VPNs are so clutch when it comes to cyber security, speed, and content. Don’t get left behind in the virtual dust. Grab your EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!BetterHelp - Therapy is goated. And you already know how I feel about going online! BetterHelp, well, they figured out a way to combine the two into one thing, saving time and energy and probably the environment as well. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yksNordPass - Hey make sure your password has a number, a symbol, and a freaking recipe for the perfect macaroni and cheese to continue. WHaaa?? Coming up with these things is too dadgum hard, and that’s before it even comes down to memorizing them. That’s why we all need a password manager like NordPass. Get a 3-month free trial at nordpass.com/YKS with code YKS 
11/21/2022

Episode 278: The Pepsi Universe

Now this is what I'm talking about right here! An Episode of YKS? And the word Episode is being capitalized now for no reason? Kind of weird, kind of cool. Plus it's Monday, my favorite day of the week! Damn. It sure doesn't get any better than this! On today's show we're celebrating our friends, Women, by making fun of some projects explicitly not targeting us loutish clods in any way, taking our hose everywhere we go, and using a little sucky toy to try to keep all the bleep from coming right out of our bloop! If that's not enough to get you to click on the link, maybe direct cash payments to your bank account will be? Let us know! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Oh my god, they're still doing YKS Premium! That's right folks, by somewhat popular demand, where it's like maybe more demand than you'd think but still there could be more demand overall, Mike and JF have returned for yet another week of bonus episodes. Sign up today at Patreon.com/YourKickstarterSucks for hundreds and hundreds of hours of the exact type of crap you like, merch discounts when our store returns (soon!), Discord access and more.This episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:NordPass - Access to our various items is so important...it's tempting to make it very insecure! HUGE MISTAKE! That's when calamity strikes! Keep calamity away from your passwords, credit cards, and more -- unless you like calamity?? Uh, you shouldn't. It's bad. See NordPass Business in action now with a 3-month free trial at nordpass.com/YKS with code YKS Faherty - Faherty makes the most comfortable clothes in my closet. I slide them on and walk around my house like I'm some big shot with somewhere to be. But guess what...I'm just some schmuck! Oh well! The clothes are nice! Get 20% off your order at FahertyBrand.com/YKSFactor - Factor is so good, man. It's crazy! We're talking healthy, delicious, easy meals delivered right to your door. And all you gotta do is heat em up. And eat em. And like, wash the fork and stuff. But what do you want, Forkbox? Head to https://go.factor75.com/yks60 for 60% off your first box!Honey - "I hate easily saving money...I'd rather flush cash down the toilet than click one time and put money right back in my pocket!" <--- My enemies said this one time (in unison). Don't be like them. Download Honey today and save yourself some money this holiday shopping season at JoinHoney.com/YKS
11/14/2022

Episode 277: Lotto Losers

It’s another episode of YKS starring Danny 2 Phones and his duo of lovable losers! On this week’s episode, we’re making a popcorn run with Orville Weedensmoker to the 4 Glomp Realm, and praying they’re isn’t actually something in my mouth even though it feels like there really is and it’s gonna make me throw up. Plus, we’ve a great new way to drop your infant, an idea that a pothead came up with and weirdly makes no sense, and monetizing retail cashier harassment. My god…How do they keep getting away with making such great episodes!!!  Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Want more YKS? Check out YKS Premium! Last week we were proud to present our Annual YKS Salute To Service. Just fucking kidding! We DID, however, break down all the politics going on in the world nowadays, which if you don’t know anything about them, suffice to say, they have been really crazy. The politics have, I mean. And therefore, the episodes of our celebrated comedy-alternative podcast have, as well. This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:Athletic Greens - I love my gut, but boy does it have its issues. If only there were a way to increase my adaptogen intake…but the only adaptogens I know of don’t have a pleasantly fruity taste…Wait just a minute! Get 1 year of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/yksBetterHelp - “Mind your mind and your rewards will be divine” - Unknown Poet. Wow. Makes you think. But sometimes thinking is tough, and you need another thinker in there tinkering around with ya. That’s where therapy comes in, and specifically in this case, online therapy from BetterHelp. Try it for 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yksRocketMoney - These subscriptions, man….I dunno. Some of them are good – great, even. Some of them I could never live without. Many of them support our wonderful independent content creators! Others, however, are garbage. And we need help to tell the difference! Enter Rocket Money. Save hundreds by canceling useless subscriptions today at RocketMoney.com/YKS
11/7/2022

Episode 276: The Flubisode

Hey look at THESE! It’s, give or take, about 120 minutes of unhinged goofiness from two old guys who should, frankly, know better. But we just don’t care! On today’s show, we’re munching on crispy rounds in the tractor forums, buying Penis Coins while they’re still on sale, making our Toaster confessions, and doing it all over the whirr of a tree trimmer. Our friends at Tree of Souls won’t be happy to hear that, of course, but for them, we’re pitching in an industrial strength AI ankle breaker, a painting tool for morons, a cure for boredom while driving a Tesla, and inexplicably, something Mike actually likes and wants to buy. And no flubs! (Sorry, Bryan) Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.I Stand With YKS Premium! For bonus episodes, ad-free YKS, our Squeeze Louise video feed, Pisscord access and more, there’s only one place to go: Hell! Just kidding, it’s YKS Premium. Last week, against all odds, we were able to put out a funny episode without any old ass horror movies to talk about. And this week…we’ll do it again! See what kind of crazy crap we come up with, every Friday, at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksThis episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:BetterHelp - Listen up, brain. It’s time to get yourself fixed. And if you won’t do it, I’ll find someone who will! That’s why I go to therapy…to make my problems someone else’s! Just kidding, sort of. Try this method or others for yourself, with online therapy like BetterHelp today. Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yksHelloFresh - Every week we get the little email that says “Best News Ever! Your HelloFresh Box Was Delivered!” Kind of cute. I think some better news would be winning $1.9B in the lottery. But if they sent me that email it would probably just go to spam. So you know what, HelloFresh is right. Food’s Here! Pretty good. Get 65% off plus free shipping at HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks65
10/24/2022

Episode 274: Mike’s Joke Corner

Do I detect a new segment?? That Mike hates a lot?? Oh baby! I’m like a pig in shit. (Pigs like to be in shit, if you don’t know a lot about pigs or shit.) On today’s show we reflect on Enjoying the Film, HorseTimes, and, yes, Mike’s Joke Corner. That’s why I named the show that! Plus, we got iFood (finally!), a stupid fuckin pen, the Mikey Miles Fitness Routine, and I think there’s at least one Kickstarter in here that someone will get mad at us for talking about, so that’s good. But come on. With that thing.  Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Hey if you want to support the show and get a truly outrageous amount of content in exchange, head on over to YKS Premium, where we’re excited to show you the latest in cutting edge paid podcasts. This month we’re celebrating Miketober, with some of our favorite friends and nastiest movies. And next month we will be doing BallBag November where I whack DB in the ballbag every week until he pukes. Check it out. Faherty - Here comes Mr Autumn Man! That’s me. I’m wearing my Faherty pullover right now and it’s genuinely one of my favorite pieces of clothing I own. You cannot have it! I have my stink on it already! Get your own! Use code YKS at FahertyBrand.com for 20% off some new spring – or autumn – or whatever! Classics. But leave mine alone. BetterHelp - It’s so cool to think your little thoughts. But how about sharing them with someone else? Also not too bad! Look, solving problems is one tough assignment, and you need a game plan. Unfortunately John Madden is dead, so you’re gonna need the next best thing: a professional counselor! Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKSNordVPN - EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal ➼ https://nordvpn.com/yks Try it risk-free now with a 30-day money-back guarantee!