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Your Kickstarter Sucks

A podcast about terrible ideas

Useless robots, minimalist shoes, and "offensive" card games up to the friggin' Pope's stinky eyeballs! (Ewww!) That's crowdfunding in a nutshell, but it's also our modern world - a vast creativity desert, populated almo
Latest Episode1/24/2022

Episode 235: The Cableman's Lament

Look to your right. Look to your left. Both of the people sitting next to you are Jon Voight, and they are both doing the most insane accent you've ever heard in your life. That's what these teachers in our woke schools want these days, and the Demonrat politicians are just cowardly enough to give it to them! Now what on God's green earth could I be talking about? There's only one way to find out. You're gonna have to go Blair Witch Mode and grab a Sausage McMuckin, and oh my God I just got a "too many characters" warning in this episode description box hahaha. This shit is long as hell (I wrote it in reverse order). ByeMusic for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Now folks, I won't presume to tell you what to do with your own money. But from time time, it's been asked, "Where do I go to get more YKS?" [citation needed] And by god, the only place I've ever found any more of the stuff is over at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. Bummer, right? Believe me, if there were another way to go about it, I'd be the FIRST one to tell you. But right now, as it stands, any YKS fan in need of a few extra laughs simply must pony up a nominal amount of dough for access to YKS Premium.This week's YKS is sponsored by Truebill. I've been seeing these commercials lately, and the guy who came up with Truebill says he hasn't looked at his credit card bill in a long time. Well he's probably pretty busy and honestly ya know what, they do put a lot of lines on there with all the numbers and crap. Who knows what's on there! That's somebody else's problem. Tell ya what, if you'd like to save a few bucks without the hassle of the whole envelope rigamarole, check 'em out at Truebill.com/YKS.Also hookin it up BIG TIME on this episode? Athletic Greens! You know how I feel about tropical flavors. I am absolutely wild for them, whether it's in my cup or in my mouth. And when those AG1 adaptogens go to town on my gut health...that's when I know it's time to take on my to-do list (normally it's like, eat some lunch or something). Put your guts on notice and get a year's supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs of AG1 at AthleticGreens.com/YKS. Finally, this portion of the episode description bloc just wouldn't be this portion of the episode description bloc without BetterHelp. You know, I think it would look kinda cool if they stylized it like this: betterhelp. Just kind of a casual way of doing it. Research indicates this would appeal to...millennials. Or whatever the good one is now. But that's above my pay grade quite honestly and I'm just the amazingly talented, charismatic ad copy in the episode description bloc guy. And now for my speciality, the call to action. Try betterhelp out today and get 10% off your first month at Betterhelp.com/YKS.
1/24/2022

Episode 235: The Cableman's Lament

Look to your right. Look to your left. Both of the people sitting next to you are Jon Voight, and they are both doing the most insane accent you've ever heard in your life. That's what these teachers in our woke schools want these days, and the Demonrat politicians are just cowardly enough to give it to them! Now what on God's green earth could I be talking about? There's only one way to find out. You're gonna have to go Blair Witch Mode and grab a Sausage McMuckin, and oh my God I just got a "too many characters" warning in this episode description box hahaha. This shit is long as hell (I wrote it in reverse order). ByeMusic for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Now folks, I won't presume to tell you what to do with your own money. But from time time, it's been asked, "Where do I go to get more YKS?" [citation needed] And by god, the only place I've ever found any more of the stuff is over at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks. Bummer, right? Believe me, if there were another way to go about it, I'd be the FIRST one to tell you. But right now, as it stands, any YKS fan in need of a few extra laughs simply must pony up a nominal amount of dough for access to YKS Premium.This week's YKS is sponsored by Truebill. I've been seeing these commercials lately, and the guy who came up with Truebill says he hasn't looked at his credit card bill in a long time. Well he's probably pretty busy and honestly ya know what, they do put a lot of lines on there with all the numbers and crap. Who knows what's on there! That's somebody else's problem. Tell ya what, if you'd like to save a few bucks without the hassle of the whole envelope rigamarole, check 'em out at Truebill.com/YKS.Also hookin it up BIG TIME on this episode? Athletic Greens! You know how I feel about tropical flavors. I am absolutely wild for them, whether it's in my cup or in my mouth. And when those AG1 adaptogens go to town on my gut health...that's when I know it's time to take on my to-do list (normally it's like, eat some lunch or something). Put your guts on notice and get a year's supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs of AG1 at AthleticGreens.com/YKS. Finally, this portion of the episode description bloc just wouldn't be this portion of the episode description bloc without BetterHelp. You know, I think it would look kinda cool if they stylized it like this: betterhelp. Just kind of a casual way of doing it. Research indicates this would appeal to...millennials. Or whatever the good one is now. But that's above my pay grade quite honestly and I'm just the amazingly talented, charismatic ad copy in the episode description bloc guy. And now for my speciality, the call to action. Try betterhelp out today and get 10% off your first month at Betterhelp.com/YKS.
1/17/2022

Episode 234: The Bedsheet's Wife's Hitman's Bodyguard

On this week's YKS, we attempt to reconstruct what the show was about despite apparently throwing away the show notes, or maybe never even writing anything down in the first place. Oh wait. That's what I'm doing right NOW!!! Well if you go back and look at the sheet we write out before recording, it looks like we revisited the perfect work-from-home Kickstarter with fresh eyes, which I thought was a smart angle for this. And then we do 6 Kickstarters of course. There's a nasty game for nerds on there, there's a Trump thing, a scam, and a useless niche product designed by a space alien. Plus, we decide what kind of store we would be if we were going to be a store. Dollars to donuts there's some good riffs in here too...but don't take my word for it. Listen to my words! Of it! (By downloading the show now.)Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For more YKS, head on over to the YKS Premium Patreon. That's basically where we do all kinds of crazy cool stuff and go nutty with it. Also there's no ads, which is a great thing or a bad thing depending on who you ask. Probably the more important thing is the hundreds of hours of bonus content and dozens (so far!) of video episodes which will just damn fall into your damn lap once you fork over the cash. Wow...listening stuff and now seeing stuff as well...YKS Premium is truly a feast for the senses! This week's YKS is sponsored by Manscaped. Help your penis look better for Valentime's Day with Manscaped. Get 20% off plus free shipping when you use our code YKS 20. When you do that, you're supporting the show and your penis. So imagine the meme from Predator with the two guy shaking hands, and one of them says Penis and the other one says YKS and then in the middle it says Support. Or maybe it says YKS20. Whichever you want. Just send me the meme and I'll look at it and let you know.Listen to your favorite podcast and cook up tasty, easy-to-prep meals! That's what it says on the website for HelloFresh when you click on it. And hell, I'm inclined to agree. The only thing that would make it better is getting up to 15 free meals and 2 free gifts. But you already know that since I'm there, it's actually gonna be 16 free meals and 3 free gifts with the code yourkickstartersucks16. Wow! I made them offer the deal! Well if you know me, you know I'm always thinking about my gut health. But I hate munching big handful of vit of mins. Drinking some good tasting green water though? Yeah I can handle that. And so can you, probably, with Athletic Greens. Get a year's supply of Vitamin D and 5 travel packs at AthleticGreens.com/YKS.Finally, YKS is sponsored -- and joined in the Coupon Code Wars -- by Honey. Between the money they saved me on my latest jersey purchase, and my love for a recently in the public domain cartoon bear, there's just no one else I trust in the coupon code field more than Honey. Check 'em out at JoinHoney.com/YKS, save some cash, and buy yourself a nice red shirt with no shorts underneath. They can't stop ya!
1/10/2022

Episode 233: Junk Man vs The Anytizers

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these podcasters from the swift completion of their appointed episodes! Just playing. If there was a bunch of heat or gloom we probably wouldn't do it. But there was a shitload of snow by Tennessee standards, and we still managed to turn on the computer and do our jobs. Incredible. On today's episode we're talking about, well, that dadgum post office demon Louis Dejoy, new seating concepts, copsucking comics, and as you can probably guess by looking at the title of the episode, air fryer apologia. All that and more on a very normal episode of YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For more YKS, yeahhhh, you're gonna wanna head over to YKS Premium. Jesseuary is starting to take shape, and you're gonna love it, but in the mean time, we got bonus episodes comin out the wazoo over there, and they are ready to download! Plus, our migration to YouTube is now complete, and your YKS Premium Video experience is smoother and more Googlier than ever before. Put the boys up on the big screen! Only at YKS Premium.This week's YKS is sponsored by Factor. Granted, I live smack dab in the middle of flyover country, but I gotta say, when I sat down to lunch this week, Factor's Shrimp and Grits acquitted themselves pretty dadgum well. Only thing that was missing was a big fluffy beignet! Well that's because Factor is all about nutritious, pre-prepared meals ready to munch in about 2 minutes. Keto? Ke-yes! Order yourself a few weeks worth of nice hot lunches at go.factor75.com/plans and use code YKS120 for $120 off. Also sponsoring this week's episode? You already know what time it is. It's time to call or otherwise virtually interact with your licensed professional therapist in a safe, convenient, and comfortable environment! Get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS.
1/3/2022

Episode 232: The First Episode of 2022

The first episode of 2022. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For more YKS, you're gonna want to download YKS Premium over on Patreon. This past month, YKS Premium listeners got some real treats as we released some heretofore paywalled crossover episodes with professional podcasts Howell Dawdy's Fast Track and The P.O.D. Kast. But now it's back to the YKS slop. Join us for more Kickstarters, more goofin' off, more lines of resolution, and well, more. Five bucks, Eight bucks, whatever ya got, as long as it's one of those two amounts of bucks, you're gonna get some content. Join the familia of YKS Premium.This week's episode of YKS is sponsored by HelloFresh. Holy guacamole, they got some good food there. And heck, maybe they've even got some of that guacamole I just mentioned a second ago. But don't worry, eating these avocados won't keep ya from getting a house. That's because they're FREE! As long as you use the promo code yourkickstartersucks16, you're gonna get 16 free meals plus 3 free gifts at HelloFresh.com. 16 free meals...now that's what I call "an avocado-based dip, spread, or salad first developed in Mexico.[3] In addition to its use in modern Mexican cuisine, it has become part of international and American cuisine as a dip, condiment and salad ingredient"! On top of that, we've got our friends over at BetterHelp pitchin' in today. Hey thanks gang. I tell ya what's nice...getting a helping hand. Whether it's an alley-oop slam dunk for the swish slam...Two Points! Or something else, like a personal problem I guess. Or if you're depressed? But it's not about basketball for some reason? You can always ring up BetterHelp. Try 'em today and get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/yks. Score!And finally, it's Truebill! Something I just thought of: Truebill implies the existence of a Falsebill. Or Falsehillary. Whatever, talk about it in your joke workshop group dm. Point is, subscriptions you don't want anymore are a real pain in the keister. And you look at the credit card bill and it's all 1s and 0s and god knows what. Let's call in the experts. Let's get the commandos from Aliens in there, searching out all your unwanted subscriptions and eliminating them with extreme prejudice. Ok well they all died so we're gonna go with Truebill. But it'll be sick, I promise. Check it out for yourself at Truebill.com/YKS and save some money...and the galaxy!
12/20/2021

UNLOCKED: YKS Premium S17E04: Miketober S2E4: The Stuff with The Doughboys

Oppa Christmas Vacation Style! We're taking a week off, but still couldn't let ya leave empty handed...so allow us to introduce, from behind the paywall, an absolute banger of an episode from this past Miketober. It's The Stuff with our friends the Doughboys! Wiger and Mitch join us for a classic rewatch of a scary marshmallow movie, guess some ice cream flavors (pretty badly if I recall), and much more. For new listeners, enjoy this episode ad-free and the rest of Miketober over at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks, and for those of you who have already heard this crap and hate our guts, please enjoy an all-new intro, outro, and yes, everyone's favorite part, advertisements. Music for Miketober is courtesy of Craig Dickman and Jesse Farrar. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer lola butt. Ads time! Well gang, since I'm one of those guys who can barely remember to zip up his fly on the way out the door, you know I ain't memorizing all 5,678 of my passwords. You know what I'm talking about? Well, good news on that front. No they didn't invent a new pill to fix our brain problems, but they did invent NordPass. That's just as good! And a hell of a lot cheaper, thanks to our sponsor: NordPass. Christmas is coming! It doesn't matter whether you've been naughty or nice, you still get 70% off NordPass Premium at NordPass.com/YKS or use a code yks. Plus you get an additional month for FREE! Also sponsoring today's show, it's BetterHelp. Welp! It's that time of year again...the time therapists call "the moneymaker". Yeah, it's getting pretty dark outside, but inside our brains, let's light up some dopamine receptors, take a page out of Pharrell's book, and become "happy" whilst talking to some licensed professional counselors. Ohhh baby! Now that's what I call, good to do. Get 10% your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS. Finally, you gotta give it up for the HelloFresh crew. 14 free meals, that sounds like me at Thanksgiving/Christmas/etc. Probably not Easter because honest to god who cares about Easter meals? Not me, and not HelloFresh. We won't be eating at Easter! Pass it on! And then, go to HelloFresh.com/yourkickstartersucks14 and use code yourkickstartersucks14 for up to 14 free meals AND 3 free gifts! I just found a piece of dark chocolate sitting half melted on my trackpad. I really hope your gifts are better than that! It better be a new car!
12/13/2021

Episode 231: GutKiller Base

Live from Nashville, Tennessee, it's YKS! That really could be what they're saying some day. Until then, of course, we simply have to march around our homes and say it ourselves. We have to say it to ourselves, to our pets, and we have to say it to the car warranty people who call us and make their phone numbers look like ours by borrowing the first 7 digits! But hopefully, someday, we can all know peace...when Mike and JF are the most famous people on the planet. But today is just as good! Because we've got an episode that hits all the big marks: The JF Position, living the Cone Life, and our worst xmas gifts. Plus, we're changing the sweeping paradigm with extreme advances in new combinatorial technology, solving the popcorn car problem once and for all, and finally figuring out how the hell freelancers are supposed to sit down. And not a moment too soon! I haven't gotten a W-2 form in like 7 years. My back hurts!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.We (clap) are (clap) Having (clap) doing (clap) bonus (clap)! Sorry the claps messed me up. For ad-free episodes, video eps, bonus mailbags and more, subscribe to YKS Premium on Patreon. And hey, a discounted annual sub would make a great holiday gift! For yourself, though. I don't think you can actually gift subs on there yet. I'm not in charge of that though!This week's YKS is sponsored by Honey. When it comes to a little guy who lives in your browser that knows coupon codes, I don't think anybody is doing it quite like Honey. Scratch this little feller on the chin, save a few bucks, and get that pesky holiday shopping out of the way all in one fell swoop. Wow, that's once nice swoop! Try em out for yourself: JoinHoney.com/YKSAlso sponsoring today's episode is BetterHelp. Give uncomfortable waiting rooms the double bird and talk to a pro, plus get 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com/YKS. Finally, Episode 231 of YKS, that's right, this one, is brought to you by the dong wizards over at Manscaped. Check this out: Wouldn't it be nice to shave your privates, then the hair down there wouldn't be so long. Everybody knows what song that's a parody of, but we can't say it! That's the wacky US legal code for ya. Anyway, use code YKS20 for 20% off your order plus free shipping. Or pay full freight, up to you (easy choice)!