You Got This

In this episode, I’m joined by my stepbrother of over 40 years and great friend, Ed Gosselin. For us and many others that stem from our generation, we’ve grown up around the mentality that grief is something we just needed to push through and was rarely talked about at length.Today, we’re taking the opportunity to reflect on what the grieving process was like for us personally, who impacted us the most throughout the adjustment to life after a huge loss, and how having family members in close proximity to us played a role during that period of time. We also discuss how individual people in our lives left a lasting impact and gave us much needed hope during such a confusing time.   If you’re curious to hear our perspective on this topic, tune in to Episode 4 of You Got This!  Some Questions I Ask: Could you talk about what the first few years were like for you after your mom passed away? (1:30)Do you remember any specific low points during that period of time? (5:23)Do you feel it was a good or a bad thing that you saw your mom’s passing coming in advance? (5:57)At what point did you start to feel hope again after the loss you’d experienced? (7:22)Did anyone help you during your grieving process who wasn’t directly in your circle of friends and family? (10:42)What was your reaction to your father remarrying only a year after you’d lost your mother? (18:52)What would you say to someone who has lost a parent in their teenage years? (22:00)In This Episode You Will Learn:How generational mindsets influenced how we approached grief in our early days (4:33)How prominent male figures in Ed’s life played a role in his grieving process (9:43)A background on Ed’s father’s circle of friends and the impact they left on him (12:00)The difference in Ed’s family members in how they dealt with loss (17:01)

What could be tougher than anybody leaving this earth too early?As much as no one ever wishes to have a loved one die, it does happen, and everybody copes differently with the loss. The way we perceive a tragedy like that can really change our life, but the truth is, only time is really going to help heal the wounds we have.Today, I talk with Harry Morell - a friend of mine, that tragically lost his father in the 9/11 events. At that time, he was only six years old, and the real memories with his dad are few but Harry is lucky to have plenty of stories heard from close people that created a hero image of his father.Listen to Episode 03 of You Got This! where we discuss the experiences Harry’s been through, as a child and teenager, how his friends were and still are his best support group, and how to act around people that have gone through a tragedy, so that you make sure you don’t hurt them or make them feel uncomfortable.    Some questions I ask:How did you feel in the first couple of months after losing your father? (01:20)As you were working through things, did you ever have an epiphany that, “Hey, things might be alright! I’m going to work my way through this”? (03:13)Do you feel like your friends, consciously or subconsciously, have played a role in raising you, to an extent? (07:07)What advice would you have for people on how to approach somebody like you? (10:41)What advice would you have for people who have lost their spouses? (15:48)In this episode, you will learn:How having a community support group helped Harry and his family cope with the loss. (05:07)One anti-hero in Harry’s story that hurt his feelings when actually the intention was to help him. (08:48)How hearing stories of his dad helped Harry shape his character. (11:26)The ways in which Harry feels his dad close to him, when he’s doing his job. (14:39)How with time, grief turns into inspiration. (17:32)

Losing a parent at a young age is a hard hit many of us took, but if we reflect back and get past the darkness, there are tremendous lessons and valuable experiences that came out of that tragedy. As unpleasant as they may be, they shaped our character and catapulted us forward into the human beings we are today.There’s a significant difference whether you lose your dad at eight years old – as I did – or at 16 years old, just like my guest, Marshall, experienced. The lessons you learn and the memories you hold on to are, in a way, more and better defined when you get to spend more time with your parent.In the previous episode, I shared with you the story of losing my dad and how that tragedy has impacted the rest of my life. Today, Marshall Durston, one of my great friends, discusses how it felt losing his father in his teenage years and how that translated into his family and business life.So, listen to Episode 02 of You Got This! to find out how Marshall and his family learned to live with the void in his heart and how he managed to create a beautiful life for himself, despite his loss.   Some questions I ask:What would a couple of the lessons you learned from your dad be? (03:31)How did your dad’s death affect the relationship with your sisters, over time? (05:50)How has losing your father at 16 years old impacted your relationship with your kids? (09:23)Talk about hunting with your dad because that was a big part of your relationship. You’re still going hunting, so what emotions does that bring up? (11:36)What message would you have for a recently widowed woman? (21:24)What message would you have for that 16-year-old kid that just lost a parent? (23:34)How did your dad’s absence from your hockey games change your approach on ice? (26:46)In this episode, you will learn:How his dad’s death forced Marshall to transition from boyhood to manhood overnight. (00:52)How the death of a parent solidifies the importance of family and the roles each member has. (02:37)The importance of living within your financial capacities. (04:23)The residual impact Marshall realized existed in his life long time after his father’s death. (07:43)The qualities and traits Marshall indirectly learned from his father, in terms of doing business. (14:29)The mindset of turning tragedy into triumph. (26:00)

 Fifty-three years ago, my dad told me three words that have modeled my whole life: YOU GOT THIS!I have worn many hats over the years – Wall Street executive, fashion industry investor, philanthropist, outdoorsman, and dad - and I’ve always had more ambition than brains. I dove into every new experience with the philosophy that I have nothing to lose since I am already under-qualified for it, and I’ve overcome many challenges with that thought in mind.Life can go a lot of different directions when you’re faced with a tragedy, but regardless of what bumps in the road may come your way, I want you to know that you got this!In this episode, you will learn:How “You Got This” can help you overcome tragedies, however big or small. (03:42)The world is full of team players that can fill the void in someone’s life. (05:04)Being under-qualified for the new things you do in life means you can’t lose much – so you may as well give it a try. (07:59)The two important mountains everyone has to climb in their life. (09:29)Four pieces of advice that are worth passing on. (11:48)Useful resources:TedX Talk – You Got This!Big Sky Community CenterBook: David Brooks: The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life