Where You Left Them - The dadhugsforyoursoul Podcast

You'd expect the hardest part of a breakup to be the heartbreak. For a lot of women it's the exhaustion: the kind that sleep doesn't touch, that often arrives months after the worst is over, just when everyone expects you to be fine.Louise George works with exactly that. She joins Emma and me to talk about post-stress fatigue, why the body keeps paying for a crisis long after it's passed, and what it means to listen to your body rather than the voice telling you to push on through.Emma describes it perfectly: like a ship in a sci-fi film, shutting down everything except life support. We talk about why that happens, what letting go actually looks like when you're running on empty, and how you start bringing things back online, one system at a time.Show notesLouise joins us in the Huddle on 25 November for a members' session on exhaustion in midlife and after a breakup. Send your questions in beforehand and she'll answer them on the call. dadhugsforyoursoul.com/huddle[Two things to update from the old episode's notes you've got open: the Huddle has launched, so "opens on 16 September" needs to go, and the Bhavna line can stay if you still want it, or come out to keep this episode's notes about Louise. Add Louise's site where I've left the placeholder.

Helen was married for 21 years. Nine months ago she found out about the affair and she left. Everyone told her she was doing the right thing and nobody argued.What she has now is a phone she checks too often and a friend called Denise who keeps telling her things she hasn't asked to know. He isn't at the house. He isn't working. He's on somebody's sofa twenty minutes away. And Helen lies awake at four in the morning wondering whether he's registered with a doctor, whether the car is taxed, whether his mother got a card in May.She has the cleanest permission anyone has ever been given to feel nothing at all, and she still can't stop.We talk about what that actually is, because Helen is right that it isn't love and it isn't guilt. It's the responsibility that quietly accumulates over twenty years, until you find out you weren't two adults running a house. You were running it and he was living in it.Then some of the unsent messages. The hoovering one. The two people who both froze. The woman who came home from karaoke and wished it had been him. And one that made Emma cheer.Show notesThe Huddle opens on 16 September. Two calls a month, one with an expert answering questions sent in beforehand, all of it recorded and kept. £37 a month at the founding rate, and it stays at £37 for as long as you're a member. dadhugsforyoursoul.com/huddleBhavna Radia's session, free to watch. A former family solicitor of twenty years answering eleven questions live and twenty-three more in writing afterwards. Chaptered, so you can go straight to the one that sounds like yours. dadhugsforyoursoul.com/huddle/q/bhavna-radiaUnsent. The message you've written four times and not sent. Put it there instead, read what everyone else nearly sent, and see how much of it you recognise. Free, no account needed.dadhugsforyoursoul.com/unsentRage, by Carol Allen. Short poems written going through exactly this. Harry mentions it in the episode.https://amzn.eu/d/09FxsUPvBig Hug

Season 4 continues with Episode 2, an introduction to Bhavna Radia.Bhavna spent years as a divorce lawyer before moving into coaching, and she talks to us about where the early pull towards law came from, what happened when she went through her own divorce, and how she now works with women using both sides of that: the professional training and the lived experience of it.She also explains Mesher orders, which come up constantly and are understood by almost nobody until they're sitting in front of one. A Mesher order lets the family home stay unsold after a divorce, usually until the youngest child finishes education or turns eighteen, at which point it's sold and the proceeds split. It sounds like a solution and for some families it is, but Bhavna is clear about what it costs the person who stays in the house, and why it's worth understanding properly before agreeing to one.Then it's on to Unsent, the new thing Harry has been building. It's a place to send the message you wrote and never sent, the paragraph that sat in your drafts at two in the morning and stayed there. You write it, you send it to us, and it goes somewhere rather than nowhere. It's at dadhugsforyoursoul.com/unsent As we always say, if you're having relationship problems, going through a relationship breakup or experiencing heartbreak, then know this: we are with you. Because you can and will survive, heal and thrive.Everyone who appears on our podcast can take positive steps forward, and so can you.Find Bhavna on Instagram at @bhavna.radia.Listen to the audio version on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Deezer, and anywhere you get your podcasts. Watch the full episodes on YouTube, too. Head to the socials (search dadhugsforyoursoul) to have your say on every episode. Or visit www.dadhugsforyoursoul.com/podcasts to comment, submit your quick-fire questions and even your own story.

Did you miss us? Or didn’t you notice we’d been gone? Well, nevermind because we are back! We are kicking off season 4 with an interesting letter from Jenny who has been dipping her toe into dating and finding it’s stirring up more than just passion…. Jenny’s concerns are common, but maybe not openly discussed. We are here to blow the lid off the idea that everything must be perfect, and that your past should be completely forgotten. In the second half of the podcast, we are delighted to be chatting to the wonderful Candida Crewe about her new novel, Disapproval, and how it was shaped in part by her own romantic experience with avoidant attachment and betrayal.You can find Disapproval on Amazon here:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Disapproval-Candida-Crewe/dp/1068527366You can also ask your local bookshop to order you a copy.As we always say, if you're having relationship problems, going through a relationship breakup or experiencing heartbreak, then know this: we are with you. Because you can and will survive, heal and thrive. Everyone who appears on our podcast can take positive steps forward, and so can you. Listen to the audio version on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Deezer, and anywhere you get your podcasts. Watch the full episodes on YouTube, too. Head to the socials (search dadhugsforyoursoul) to have your say on every episode. Or visit www.dadhugsforyoursoul/podcasts to comment, submit your quick-fire questions and even your own story. In this podcast, we see how complicated life can be for everyone. We see that there's always hope. And we see that there's a lesson in every story for our own lives.Big Hug x

Back to the familiar format of a letter from a listener - and this one is another all to common theme.This week, we hear from Helen.Helen's story has a bit of everything: financial isolation, the slow unravelling of a long marriage, infidelity, divorce, and a turn none of us saw coming.It's a story about giving yourself entirely to a life and a person, and discovering how little of it was ever really yours. About the particular cruelty of being deceived by someone whose kindness you fell for. And about what happens when the life you thought you were grieving takes one final, shocking turn.But more than any of that, it's a story about meeting yourself again. About a woman who lost almost everything she thought defined her, and found, on the other side of it, something quieter and steadier and entirely her own.If you're rebuilding from a place you never expected to be, this one's for you.As we always say, if you're having relationship problems, going through a relationship breakup or experiencing heartbreak, then know this: we are with you. Because you can and will survive, heal and thrive.Everyone who appears on our podcast can take positive steps forward, and so can you.Listen to the audio version on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Deezer, and anywhere you get your podcasts. Watch the full episodes on YouTube, too. Head to the socials (search dadhugsforyoursoul) to have your say on every episode. Or visit www.dadhugsforyoursoul/podcasts to comment, submit your quick-fire questions and even your own story.In this podcast, we see how complicated life can be for everyone. We see that there's always hope. And we see that there's a lesson in every story for our own lives.Big Hug x

Today we go back to basics with Harry and ask him some of the most common questions we hear a lot:- How do you know so much about mid-life women and how did you get to the point of speaking on topics that are relevant to them- What is Anxious Attachment, how do we become anxiously attached and is it changeable?- Why go No Contact - does it really work?- Somatic work: how can this help in heartbreak?Listen to the audio version on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Deezer, and anywhere you get your podcasts. Watch the full episode on YouTube Head to the socials (search dadhugsforyoursoul) to have your say on every episode. Or visit www.dadhugsforyoursoul/podcasts to comment, submit your quick-fire questions and even your own story.If you're interested in the packs mentioned in the podcast, you can find them at https://dadhugsforyoursoul.com/packsIf you're new to the channel or new to Dadhugsforyoursoul, or (how?) new to Harry - then you're very welcome here and, whatever you're going through, you're not going through it alone!Big hugx

  **Content warning: This episode includes discussion of economic abuse and a brief, non-graphic reference to domestic violence. Please listen with care and feel free to skip this episode if these topics may be difficult for you.** Our very difficult discussion this week is anecdotal, via a friend of Harry, and deals with the complicated and painful subject of economic abuse. There are organisations to help you if you are in this, or a similar position and we urge you to contact them if you can.   Here are links to some exceptional services, and you should note that they have quick exit buttons so you can very quickly remove evidence of visiting the websites.  In the UK: https://survivingeconomicabuse.org/ https://refuge.org.uk/ https://womensaid.org.uk/ In the US: https://www.thehotline.org/ https://nnedv.org/ As usual, we end with a q&a session and we would welcomeyour questions.  Do submit them in thecomments or via our website. Listen to the audio version on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Deezer,and anywhere you get your podcasts. Watch the episode on our YouTube channel. Head to the socials (searchdadhugsforyoursoul) to have your say on every episode. Or visitwww.dadhugsforyoursoul/podcasts to comment, submit your quick-fire questionsand even your own story. If you're interested in the packs mentioned in the podcast, youcan find them at https://dadhugsforyoursoul.com/packs In this podcast, we see how complicated life can be foreveryone. We see that there's always hope. And we see that there's a lesson inevery story for our own lives. Big Hug x

No letter this week - following the amazing DHFYS reset weekend we're a little tired! So we are giving you a delicate, gentle Q&A session, with some great viewer questions and opening with a gift from one of our amazing followers!Listen to the audio version on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Deezer, and anywhere you get your podcasts. Watch the episode on our YouTube channel. Head to the socials (search dadhugsforyoursoul) to have your say on every episode. Or visit www.dadhugsforyoursoul/podcasts to comment, submit your quick-fire questions and even your own story.If you're interested in the packs mentioned in the podcast, you can find them at https://dadhugsforyoursoul.com/packsIn this podcast, we see how complicated life can be for everyone. We see that there's always hope. And we see that there's a lesson in every story for our own lives.Big Hug x