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Where Are You REALLY From? Growing Up a Refugee in Denmark with Lena Rexhepi | 181
37:22|What does it mean to grow up in Denmark and still be treated like a foreigner?In this episode, Derek sits down with Lena Rexhepi, who arrived in Denmark from Kosovo as a nine-year-old refugee in 1999. Now the author of But Where Are You Really From? Foreign There, Foreign Here: From Kosovo to Denmark, Lena shares her story of fleeing war, rebuilding her life, and navigating what it means to belong to two places without always feeling completely at home in either.Lena opens up about the lasting impact of childhood displacement, the changing political rhetoric around refugees and immigrants in Denmark, and the everyday experiences of racism and othering that can follow you even when you've grown up here, learned the language, and built a successful career.From having to explain her name in professional meetings to confronting assumptions about her background on dates and at dinner parties, Lena explores how seemingly innocent questions can carry deeper messages about who belongs. She also shares what she genuinely loves about Danish culture, the differences she sees between Denmark and Kosovo, and why identity doesn't always fit neatly into one box.This is a conversation about migration, identity, resilience, and the difference between living in a country and feeling at home in it.In this episode:What Lena remembers about fleeing the Kosovo War as a childHow Denmark welcomed her family — and how her experience changed as she grew upWhy “Where are you really from?” can be a loaded questionRacism, stereotypes, and being othered in everyday lifeNavigating identity, dating, names, and professional life in DenmarkWhat Lena appreciates about Danish culture, despite its contradictionsWhat it means to be told to “go back home” when you're not sure where home isLena's memoir is But Where Are You Really From? Foreign There, Foreign Here: From Kosovo to DenmarkOrder it here: https://lenarexhepi.com/about-the-book/Chapters00:00 Introduction01:01 Lena's story: From Kosovo to Denmark02:01 Fleeing the Kosovo War04:19 Writing about childhood trauma06:14 Finding refuge in Denmark09:00 Denmark's changing attitudes toward refugees11:24 Everyday racism and stereotypes12:16 Being judged by your background15:56 The subtle ways we make people feel like outsiders16:08 Having to explain your name18:00 Choosing a name that fits in20:20 How othering affects dating and relationships23:46 Living between Danish and Albanian identities24:10 What Lena appreciates about Danish culture26:07 Danish directness vs. Albanian warmth29:00 Identity, labels, and the meaning of belonging32:00 Being told to “go back home”34:24 Class, privilege, and belonging within Denmark35:37 What Lena would tell her nine-year-old self
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Why Is It So Hard to Relax in Denmark? | 180
30:57|Denmark is supposed to be good at work-life balance. Five weeks of paid vacation, a culture that encourages you to switch off, and a whole summer when it feels like the country collectively disappears. So why is it still so hard to relax?This week, Derek and Brooke talk about the work habits they brought with them to Denmark, and the ways they've struggled to leave them behind. From hoarding vacation days and working through the summer shutdown to overloading a holiday with so many activities that it stops being relaxing, they unpack what it actually takes to slow down.They also get into the unwritten rules of Danish workplace culture, why working longer doesn't necessarily mean working better, and whether ambition and standing out can sometimes clash with the Danish preference for fitting in. Along the way, they answer a listener's question about navigating expectations, office humor, and career goals as an international employee.Because sometimes, learning to make Denmark make sense means learning when to close your laptop and leave it closed.In this episode:Why Americans and other internationals can struggle with Denmark's work-life balanceWhat to do with those five weeks of paid vacation (and why you should actually use them)How the Danish summer shutdown affects work and planningWhy filling your free time with activities isn't always the same as relaxingThe unwritten rules of Danish workplace cultureAmbition, productivity, and the pressure to fit inHave a story about learning to switch off in Denmark? We'd love to hear it. Get in touch through our SpeakPipe!Convenience vs. Community: A Very Danish Debate | 179
25:19|What if the problem with modern convenience is that it works too well? Comedians Anders Morgenstierne and Jefferson Bond join Derek to unpack why Denmark can feel slow, strange, and even inconvenient at first, and why that might actually be the point.Sparked by a question from a YouTube viewer, the conversation explores the trade-offs behind on-demand delivery, apps, and round-the-clock convenience.Along the way, the trio shares stories about potato week, delivery work, package mishaps, and the eye-watering cost of Danish taxis. Beneath the jokes about Spider-Man, Amazon, and a very suspicious Titanic theory, there’s a thoughtful question: when everything becomes effortless, what do we lose? This episode is for anyone living in Denmark, considering a move, or curious about the balance between convenience, community, and how we treat the people who make our deliveries possible.Anders Morgenstierne:Get tickets for Anders's Show HEREInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/andersmorgenstierneTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@andersmorgenstierneJefferson Bond:Get tickets for Jeff's Show HEREInstagram: https://instagram.com/jeffersonbondcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/jeffersonbondcomedyFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/Jefferson.A.Bond/00:00 — The convenience question from a YouTube viewer00:30 — Meet comedians Annis Moynstein and Jefferson Bond01:27 — Is Denmark inconvenient—or just different?01:46 — Potato break and the convenience of doing things yourself03:51 — The hidden human cost of instant delivery05:14 — Spider-Man, responsibility, and a delivery detour06:38 — Amazon, instant gratification, and wanting more07:59 — What happens when we stop going out?09:51 — Delivery work, schedules, and who pays the price11:20 — Courier stories from the night shift13:38 — Package pickups, secondhand shopping, and delivery doubts16:54 — DIY culture and why slower services may benefit workers17:52 — The Danish taxi-price rant19:13 — A comic detour into Irish stereotypes and Titanic theories23:20 — Up Festival show mentions and the final thoughtWhy Don’t My Danish Friends Invite Me Over? Making Friends in Denmark | 178
28:55|Why do Danish friends sometimes seem reluctant to invite you into their homes?This week, we answer a listener question from a Lebanese expat in Copenhagen who loves hosting dinners for friends but rarely gets invited back by their Danish friends. Is it a Danish cultural difference, a question of friendship groups, or simply a matter of personality?Derek, Conrad and returning guest, Kriti Prajapati talk about hosting, Danish friendship circles, language barriers, cultural references, social media FOMO, getting rejected by friends, and why building friendships in Denmark can sometimes require a little more intention.Plus: how to actually spend time with your Danish friends outside the usual group setting and our increasingly questionable advice for getting a Dane to invite you over.More of Kriti:Tickets for Kriti's show at Up Festival: https://upfestival.dk/om/komikere/kriti-prajapatiInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/kriticalcomedy/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@KritiPrajapatiOther WAYDID episodes with Kriti: https://pod.link/1704607322/episode/NjczMjdkOWE0N2JmOTIwNTRlMDZkN2Nm00:00 Welcome to WAYDID + Kriti returns00:43 Why don’t my Danish friends invite me over?02:15 Is Danish hosting actually different?04:38 The language barrier nobody thinks about08:37 Why cultural references matter in friendship11:45 Danish friends already have established friend groups13:32 Social media makes feeling left out worse14:02 Should you mix Danish and international friends?17:25 Are Danes less spontaneous about socializing?19:19 Do Danes have different kinds of friends?21:37 When should you stop trying with a friend?22:38 Is this just a Copenhagen thing?23:05 Why Danes schedule doing nothing23:55 How to actually get closer to Danish friends25:20 How to make a Dane invite you over26:48 Maybe it’s not a Danish problem27:56 Kriti’s comedy festival show28:46 Thanks for listening!Is Denmark Really Open-Minded? A Listener Asked. We Answered | 177
31:13|Is Denmark really as open-minded and progressive as it seems, or is Danish culture also deeply conformist? In this episode of What Are You Doing in Denmark, Derek Hartman is joined by Anders Morgenstierne and Jefferson Bond to answer a listener’s question about fitting in, Danish social norms, and the tension between individuality and conformity in Denmark.The conversation explores Janteloven, Danish humor, high-trust society, quiet zones, public behavior, supermarkets, Copenhagen vs. the Danish countryside, and what it can feel like to experience Denmark as an outsider. Plus, plenty of discussion about the strange little cultural rules that make Denmark both incredibly comfortable and occasionally confusing for internationals.Anders Morgenstierne:Get tickets for Anders's Show HEREInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/andersmorgenstierneTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@andersmorgenstierneJefferson Bond:Get tickets for Jeff's Show HEREInstagram: https://instagram.com/jeffersonbondcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/jeffersonbondcomedyFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/Jefferson.A.Bond/00:00 Intro: Is Denmark Really Progressive?01:07 Meet Anas & Jefferson02:03 A Listener Asks: Why Is Denmark So Conformist?03:05 The Danish Supermarket Experience04:38 Progressive Denmark vs. Conformist Denmark06:02 How Denmark Makes You Soft07:00 Is Denmark Really That Progressive?08:14 The Pressure to “Fit In”09:15 The Danish Social Rulebook10:03 Why We Love the Quiet Zone12:00 Danish Train Etiquette13:00 Don’t Play Music Out Loud on Public Transport14:01 The Velcro Shoe Defense14:55 Is It Conformity or Danish Culture?16:01 High Trust Society & Following the Rules17:01 Denmark Is a Quokka18:02 Janteloven: Taking People Down a Peg19:03 Copenhagen vs. the Danish Countryside20:01 The Great Nykøbing Debate21:02 Speaking Danish & Trying to Fit In22:06 Can You Be Yourself in Denmark?23:04 Is There a Middle Ground?24:01 Why Danish Supermarkets Feel So Different26:00 Netto, Self-Checkout & Danish Efficiency27:00 “Uniform and Joyless”28:02 When Danish Systems Break29:04 The Joy of Supermarkets Abroad30:01 The Final Verdict for Marcus30:37 Up Festival & Where to Find the GuestsThe Reality of Being an International Student in Denmark | 176
33:59|What’s it really like to move to Denmark from the US to study and then try to build a career here?In this episode of What Are You Doing in Denmark, Derek and Brooke talk with Jose Marquez, who moved from Texas to Denmark to study wind energy at DTU. Three years later, he’s finished his master’s, built a life in Copenhagen, grown a following by sharing things to do around the city… and faced the much harder question: Can I actually find a job in Denmark and stay?Jose takes us through the reality of studying in Denmark as an international student, from the surprisingly social university experience and international student community to Danish teaching styles, group projects, Friday bars, campus food and the cultural differences between studying in Denmark and the US.We also get into the transition from university to the Danish workforce: job-search visas, networking, Danish CVs and interviews, how much Danish you actually need to get hired, student assistant jobs, career fairs and the importance of having work experience before moving.Get inspired by Jose in this episode as he shares that one of the biggest things Denmark taught him is that “if I want to, I can.”Share this episode with anyone considering studying in Denmark, wondering what happens after graduation, or simply curious about what it's like to build a life here as an international.Find Jose:https://www.instagram.com/ihad.tolaugh/https://www.tiktok.com/@ihadtolaughDenmark’s Immigration Debate Is Moving Further Right | 175
31:02|Danish politics was anything but sleepy this summer. From a farmer revolt over fertilization rules to a high-stakes immigration showdown and a citizenship freeze that could leave thousands in limbo, this episode breaks down the summers biggest political stories that internationals in Denmark cannot afford to miss.Derek Hartman and Mike Walsh welcome back Danish politics YouTuber, Jonas Laursen, the conversation cuts through the headlines to explain what is actually happening now that Parliament is back in session. Jonas unpacks why the so-called cucumber time never really arrived this year, and why the biggest political fights are only just heating up.You’ll discover:Why the new fertilization law has triggered tractor protests across DenmarkHow the Green Tripartite agreement set up a clash between farmers, environmental priorities, and the governmentWhy Venstre MPs rebelled against their own party line, and what that says about internal party pressureHow the Spain-Morocco border crisis became a Danish political flashpointWhy Mette Frederiksen’s hardline immigration stance is gaining allies, but also stirring backlashWhat’s behind the freeze on Danish citizenship and why more than 2,000 approved applicants are still waitingWhere the new international workforce visa law fits into Denmark’s broader labor and immigration debateJonas also explains the strange political spiral around immigration in Denmark, where Social Democrats, the Danish People’s Party, and other right-wing forces keep pushing the debate further in one direction while the practical consequences land on real people - including internationals who have already done everything required of them to become citizens.On a brighter note: Jonas shares news about The Danish Dispatch, his new English-language project launching 1 October, designed to give internationals the context Danish news often leaves out. You can find more on his social media below:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealjonaslaursen/Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jonas.laursen5YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jonasblaursen