Well Sh*t. It really is that simple...

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 209 - "How you can microdose supportive discomfort to build your capacity for it" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideMost of us do not like being uncomfortable and will do whatever we can to avoid it. What if we told you the path to comfort often lies in being uncomfortable. Tune in to today's episode where we discuss how to build our capacity for supportive discomfort and find out how microdosing discomfort can actually help us to create more of what we want in life.In this episode we cover:The seasons are changing...ours not the weatherThe comfort we want to be focusing on and whyWhat we mean when we say microdose discomfortIdentifying the needs that are up when we are uncomfortableHow we can begin microdosing discomfortMicrodosing discomfort in your relationshipsChoosing the right people to microdose withClearing niggles with others and yourselfWhat to consider before microdosing discomfortAcknowledging the discomfortComing out on the other side of microdosing discomfortThe role our nervous system plays in microdosingWhen we're on the receiving end of the uncomfortable conversationEpisode References:The episode on supportive discomfort - Episode 188 - What is supportive discomfort?The episode on unsupportive discomfort - Episode 189 - Why it's not always helpful to get comfortable with being uncomfortableThe clearing niggles episode - Episode 61 - Friendship Series: Clearing NigglesThe shoulda, woulda, coulda episode - Episode 208 - Shoulda, woulda, coulda down the shame spiralThe gremlin episode - Episode 199 - Do you have an inner Gremlin? Are you feeding it without realizing?The episode about the relationship orbits - Episode 17 - Apology Series: What to do when you're waiting for an apology that will never come

***Trigger Warning - Death of parent, caring for sick parentWell Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 208 - "Shoulding Series - Shoulda, woulda, coulda down the shame spiral" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideShoulda, woulda, coulda...we know we've said it more than once and we don't believe we are alone in that. The past can be full of shoulda, woulda, couldas that are impacting our needs in the present. In this episode we're going to talk about facing and dealing with our shoulds and how to turn shoulda, woulda, coulda into something that will actually support our needs.In this episode we cover:Looking at and resourcing your needs in the presentThe guilt and shame tracks and where they both leadCatching yourself on the shame spiralIs it better to stay in the present or return to the pastDealing with shoulds when we can't redo themSerena's trip down the shame spiral when her mom passed awayThe importance of giving ourselves graceFinding which unresolved barriers are holding us backThe gifts within the shouldsDealing with shoulds when we can redo themApplying past shoulds to present actionsThe alternative to shoulda, woulda, couldaEpisode References:The first episode in our Shoulding Series - Episode 206 - Shoulding Series - Why shoulding on yourself, or others, negatively impacts your needsThe second episode in our Shoulding Series - Episode 207 - How to shift your shouldsThe Guilt and Shame Series -Episode 43 - The Guilt & Shame Series: The difference between guilt and shameEpisode 44 - The Guilt & Shame Series: That's not guilt, it's shame in disguiseEpisode 45 - The Guilt & Shame Series: That's not guilt, it's an attempt at manipulating your humanityThe episode we refer to the inner critic - Episode 92 - How to deal with the inner critic and inner saboteurThe Creator Approach episode - Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 5) - The Creator ApproachThe Shapes Series - Episode 159 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 1) - The Victim ApproachEpisode 160 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 2) - The Persecutor ApproachEpisode 161 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 3) - The Rescuer ApproachEpisode 162 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 4) - Why the Rescuer Approach is so harmfulThe Creator Approach episode - Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 5) - The Creator ApproachThe Supporter Approach episode - Episode 164 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 6) - The Supporter ApproachThe Contributor Approach episode - Episode 165 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 7) - The Contributor ApproachThe other "shapes" episodes -Moving from disempowering to empowering - Episode 166 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 8) - How to move from a disempowering approach to meeting your needs to an empowering oneThe Harm Dynamic episode - Episode 167 - The Harm Dynamic (AKA the abuse dynamic) - focusing on actual harm and the impact of it (Shapes 9)Episode 168 - How do the Interaction Dynamics apply to children and power dynamics? (Shapes 10)Episode 169 - Understanding the shapes in the context of moviesNotes:Download The Apology Blueprint PDF here: https://theuniversalneeds.com/Apology

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 207 - "Shoulding Series - How to shift your shoulds" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideSometimes we just have too much content. Well, we don't actually think that's a thing and if you tuned in last week you know we did have too much for one episode. Join us this week as we continue our conversation about the impact the word "should" has on our needs (and the needs of others) and begin to learn how to shift our shoulds into something that will actually serve us. In this episode we cover:Identifying where the "should" is coming from (only if you want to)If a "should" causes a rift in a relationshipReplacing the word should and connecting with Personal PowerBeing aware of shoulds close friendsHow we shift language and dismantle the "should"The importance of finishing the sentenceDetermining the consequences of doing or not doing the "should"Shoulds rightful place in apologiesWhy "should not" isn't any betterWhen the "should" is focused on youEpisode References:The first episode in our Shoulding Series - Episode 206 - Shoulding Series - Why shoulding on yourself, or others, negatively impacts your needsThe episode on boundaries and control - Episode Episode 101 - Boundaries Series: What exactly ARE boundaries?The Creator Approach episode - Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 5) - The Creator ApproachThe relationship orbits episode - Episode 17 - Apology Series: What to do when you're waiting for an apology that will never come The Supporter Approach episode - Episode 164 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 6) - The Supporter ApproachNotes:Phrases that seem to be one thing but mean another when you add the end of the sentenceA jack of all trades is a master of none, but often times better than a master of oneThe blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the wombCuriosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 206 - "Shoulding Series - Why shoulding on yourself, or others, negatively impacts your needs" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideWe should on ourselves, we should on others and we let people should on us...it's just shouldy all around. If you haven't guessed, today we're talking about the word "should". Join us on this episode where we're getting into "should", it's impact on our needs and what we can do if we find ourselves in a shouldy situation.In this episode we cover:Shoulding all over ourselvesWhat's the problem with "should"?Removing the perception of choiceIntroducing expectationsThe impact of "should" on our needsHow the needs work allowed Serena to eat chocolate cake without guiltFeeling guilt and shame around "should"The subtext of "should"Figuring out what is really right for us in a situationUniversal social norms and self conditioningWhy people "should" on othersFiguring out what the choice is, so we can make the choice that best meets our needsRe-wording the "should" with yourselfRe-wording the "should" with othersHow to approach beginning to shift our language around "should"Episode References:The episodes about guilt and shame -Episode 43 - The Guilt & Shame Series: The difference between guilt and shameEpisode 44 - The Guilt & Shame Series: That's not guilt, it's shame in disguiseEpisode 45 - The Guilt & Shame Series: That's not guilt, it's an attempt at manipulating your humanityThe episode about interconnectedness - Episode 202 - What is interconnectedness and why is it so critical to getting our needs met?The shapes episode about creating - Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 5) - The Creator ApproachThe dark side of questions episode: Episode 172 - The darker side of questionsThe episodes about shifting our language - Episode 19 - The C-wordEpisode 40 - Let's absolutely lose the absolutes (although not ALWAYS absolutely...)Episode 113 - Are you struggling with things that you 'have to', 'need to' or 'should' do?Episode 143 - Get your But out of here

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 205 - "Why needs are like cleaning...and how to get motivated to do both" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideMany people don't enjoy cleaning but do enjoy the benefits from doing so. The same is often true when it comes to meeting our needs. Tune into today's episode to find out just how much needs and cleaning are a like and how acknowledgement can create progress and progress can create acknowledgement. Sounds like a win-win if you ask us.In this episode we cover:When your needs (or cleaning) take a dip and you're in the holeListening to our capacity instead of our brainHow to begin the journey out of the holeWhat can really help the processClaire's house purseThe importance of acknowledging yourselfCompounding benefits of something without having to do moreHelping to create "bonuses" for the people in our livesGetting stuck in the holeHow to begin getting out of the holeRewiring our brainsWhy acknowledgement is like a boulderTaking the first step, and what to know before doing soEpisode References:The just one small thing episode - Episode 174 - Just one small thingThe acknowledgement episode Serena was talking about - Episode 198 - How to acknowledge someone (also check out episode 176 - Why acknowledgment is more important than most people realize)The shapes episodes -The Drama Triangle episodes -The Victim Approach episode - Episode 159 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 1) - The Victim ApproachThe Persecutor Approach episode - 160 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 2) - The Persecutor ApproachThe Rescuer Approach episode - 161 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 3) - The Rescuer ApproachThe Rescuer Approach harm episode - Episode 162 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 4) - Why the Rescuer Approach is so harmfulThe Empowerment Dynamic episodes - The Creator Approach episode - Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 5) - The Creator ApproachThe Supporter Approach episode - Episode 164 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 6) - The Supporter ApproachThe Contributor Approach episode - Episode 165 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 7) - The Contributor ApproachThe other "shapes" episodes -Moving from disempowering to empowering - Episode 166 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 8) - How to move from a disempowering approach to meeting your needs to an empowering oneThe Harm Dynamic episode - Episode 167 - The Harm Dynamic (AKA the abuse dynamic) - focusing on actual harm and the impact of it (Shapes 9)Episode 168 - How do the Interaction Dynamics apply to children and power dynamics? (Shapes 10)Episode 169 - Understanding the shapes in the context of movies (Shapes 11)

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 204 - "How to navigate your villain era" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideIf you joined us last episode, you know we've embraced our villain era and we're back talking about our villainous ways again. This week we're discussing how becoming the best version of yourself in your story can lead you to be the villain in someone else's. Tune in to discover how you can navigate this villain era and possibly help rewrite the storyline so that both people have the opportunity to have the happy ending that serves them best.In this episode we cover:The salad that confuses ClaireBecoming the villain by bettering yourselfWhen you're no longer the person you wereHow linear healing journeys can bring relationships closer together or farther apartOne person's healing can be another person's kryptoniteHealing and removing a trauma bondTrying to convince someone to go on a healing journey they aren't ready or wanting to go onFinding the right professional to support you in your journeyHow Serena's marriage was effected by her own growth and healing journeyWhy you have to really want what is on the other side of a healing/growth journeyHealing isn't one size fits all - why healing the self doesn't necessarily mean healing the relationshipThe threat you pose to others when you are trying to be being a better version of yourselfPlaying out a storyline that is set in stoneChanging the shared storyline and what it takes to do soThe ironic twist some villain stories takeAdmitting and addressing when we're the villain Episode References:The episode where we talk about how to address things when you screw up - The Apology Blueprint episode - Episode 156 - The 6 essential parts of an effective apology

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 203 - "Why no matter how good you are, you're the villain in someones story" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideHave you ever been made into the villain when you didn't do anything wrong? Been there and wore the cape and mask for that. We're now proudly in our villain era and even wearing our green and purple for the occasion. If you aren't sure what we're talking about tune into today's episode where we are going to discuss what it's like to be villainized when you've actually done nothing wrong, why people villainize others and how to check if you are truly in villain status and doing harm to others or just not meeting someone else's needs for them. In this episode we cover:Why Claire and Serena are ok with being the villain in some people's storyThe role interconnectedness plays in determining a villainThe difference between identity and behaviorInterpreting someones actions through the lens of one's own unmet needsBeing seen as a villain when we were younger vs being seen as one nowDoubling down and creating a super villainVillainizing someone to avoid (potentially) uncomfortable communicationPlacing blame instead of facing accountabilityWhy so many people need a villain to blameWhen setting boundaries gets villainizedImpact over intentionDropping into the Drama TriangleWhy Serena's often considered even more of an asshole nowGetting labeled the assholeBeing made out to be the villain doesn't mean it's valid and why it's OK to have feelings about thisEpisode References:The episode on interconnectedness - Episode 202 - What is interconnectedness and why is it so critical to getting our needs met?The selfirst episodes -The Selfirst series- Episode 20 - Selfirst Series: What is Selfirst? Let's get specific…Episode 21 - Selfirst Series: The difference between doing harm and not meeting needs that were never your responsibilityEpisode 22 - Selfirst Series: A safe space vs a comfortable space, how a comfortable space can actually cost your needsThe Shapes Series -The Drama Triangle episodes -The Victim Approach episode - Episode 159 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering - The Victim ApproachThe Persecutor Approach episode - 160 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering - The Persecutor ApproachThe Rescuer Approach episode - 161 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering - The Rescuer ApproachThe Rescuer Approach harm episode - Episode 162 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering - Why the Rescuer Approach is so harmfulThe Empowerment Dynamic episodes -The Creator Approach episode - Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways - The Creator ApproachThe Supporter Approach episode - Episode 164 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways - The Supporter ApproachThe Contributor Approach episode - Episode 165 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways - The Contributor ApproachThe other "shapes" episodes -Moving from disempowering to empowering - Episode 166 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways - How to move from a disempowering approach to meeting your needs to an empowering oneThe Harm Dynamic episode - Episode 167 - The Harm Dynamic (AKA the abuse dynamic) - focusing on actual harm and the impact of it Episode 168 - How do the Interaction Dynamics apply to children and power dynamics? (Shapes 10)Episode 169 - Understanding the shapes in the context of moviesThe episodes on prioritizing short term comfort but creating long term conflict - Episode 188 - What is supportive discomfort?The Boundaries Series - Episode 101 - Boundaries Series: What exactly ARE boundaries?Episode 102 - Boundaries Series: How to know what your boundaries areEpisode 103 - Boundaries Series: How to communicate your boundariesImpact over intention - Episode 41 - Why your intention REALLY doesn’t matter…

***Trigger Warning - Abusive relationship dynamicsWell Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 202 - "What is interconnectedness and why is it so critical to getting our needs met?" is now LIVE!Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuideWell Shit! This is another one of those topics we could have sworn we recorded, because we reference the topic so much, yet here we are. Not only can this information be helpful, it's literally a foundational piece of the needs work. Today we're talking about interconnectedness. Join us as we get into what interconnectedness is, why it is so critical in getting our needs met and how to apply it to your everyday life.In this episode we cover:What is interconnectednessThe Universal Needs EcosystemPlugging the hole(s) in your bucket that you may not even know existsInterconnectedness in the context of selfirstThe difference between negatively impacting needs and not meeting needs that weren't your responsibilityThe return of the inner child and inner teenagerRecognizing toxic dynamics and creating mutually supportive relationshipsThe "sugar rush" of toxic dynamicsUsing interconnectedness as a lens for making decisionsMaking someones job harder because "it's their job" and its impact to your needsThe feeling of interconnectednessThe roles both action and inaction play in interconnectednessCreating and dismantling environments of permissibility and complicitySeparating the artist from the art - the role interconnectedness plays in the entertainment we choose to supportEpisode References:The episode where we talk about The Universal Needs Ecosystem - Episode 36 - Self worth Series: Why it's so hard to feel 'enough'The episode where we talk about a bucket with a hole in the bottom - Episode 108 - Why am I so depleted series: What drains your needsThe selfirst episodes -The Selfirst series- Episode 20 - Selfirst Series: What is Selfirst? Let's get specific…Episode 21 - Selfirst Series: The difference between doing harm and not meeting needs that were never your responsibilityEpisode 22 - Selfirst Series: A safe space vs a comfortable space, how a comfortable space can actually cost your needsThe episode about the difference in doing harm and not meeting others needs - Episode 21 - Selfirst Series: The difference between doing harm and not meeting needs that were never your responsibilityThe episode on your inner child - Episode 183 - How to support your inner childThe episode on your inner teenager - Episode 184 - How to support your inner teenagerThe inner critic episode - Episode 92 - How to deal with the inner critic and inner saboteurThe guilt and shame series -Episode 43 - The difference between guilt and shameEpisode 44 - That's not guilt, it's shame in disguiseEpisode 45 - That's not guilt, it's an attempt at manipulating your humanityNotes:Good Place spoiler - 1:22:09-1:25:51