Well Enough Alone - A Guide To Thriving Solo

 If you want to know how to be happy alone and show up proudly and unapologetically as your authentic self, you need to listen to this episode. This is our season finale and what a way to close out season two! (Thank you all for listening!) Jill speaks with the incredible Heidi Clements, a social media sensation who has inspired women all over the world with her empowering outlook on ageing, self-acceptance and how to thrive as a single, child-free woman in her 60s. Heidi is a screenwriter, author, storyteller and self-confessed clothing enthusiast. In viral videos of her getting dressed each day, you’ll get not only her uniquely fabulous sense of style but also her intimate thoughts on what it means to be an older woman moving through the world in ways that society doesn’t always embrace. This was a powerful conversation, filled with compassion, courage and raw honesty about Heidi’s personal struggles, but also her triumphs. You can follow Heidi on Instagram @welcometoheidi or on TikTok. To stay in touch with Well Enough Alone, you can follow us on Instagram @wellenoughalonepod or follow Jill @jillstark__ Well Enough Alone is a Spare Room production. Our producers are Kieran Simpson and Trent Bartlett. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. 

What do we actually need to live a happy life? Are marriage and children the pathway to fulfilment, or do they actually make you less happy? This week, Jill talks to someone who has studied these questions in depth and come up with some illuminating answers that not everyone wants to hear. Professor Paul Dolan is one of the world’s leading experts on happiness, a professor of behavioural science from the London School of Economics, the author of several books on happiness, and host of the podcast, Get Happier, among others. He’s spent more than three decades researching how we can measure and value the richness of the human experience, and what he’s found is fascinating. One of the things we’re often told from an early age is the best way for us to achieve fulfilment is to get married and have kids. But does the science align with the fairytale? Do we need to partner and procreate to be a fully actualised and contented human? Or can we be truly happy alone? This is an illuminating and validating conversation about the science of doing life solo. You can find out more about Paul’s work through his website, learn more about his books here and check out his podcasts here. To stay in touch with Well Enough Alone, you can follow us on Instagram @wellenoughalonepod or follow Jill @jillstark__ Well Enough Alone is a Spare Room production. Our producers are Kieran Simpson and Trent Bartlett. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. 

How do we let go of perfectionism and people-pleasing and learn to put our own needs first? This week, Jill speaks with Dr Michelle McQuaid, an internationally recognised positive psychology expert, about how more women are breaking free from damaging people-pleasing patterns and living as their authentic selves. Michelle is the author of six best-selling books, and an honorary fellow at Melbourne University’s Centre for Wellbeing Science. Her life and work explore the intersection of mental health, identity, and the societal norms that quietly erode our sense of self, with a particular focus on how women are conditioned from an early age to be the ‘good girl’, and how we can shed these limiting beliefs. She also recently found the courage to end her 23-year marriage and gained freedom and fulfilment as she enters what she describes as her “Grey Queer” years, exploring her bisexuality and prioritising her relationship with herself. Michelle also shares her fascinating personal story of growing up with a family background of drug addiction and homelessness, which has given her a unique perspective in building identity and resilience. You can find out more about Michelle’s work through her website, read about her Good Girl Game Changers project on her Substack, and check out her book, The Perfectly Imperfect Little Girl, here. To stay in touch with Well Enough Alone, you can follow us on Instagram @wellenoughalonepod or follow Jill @jillstark__ Well Enough Alone is a Spare Room production. Our producers are Kieran Simpson and Trent Bartlett. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.   

To have kids or not have kids? In a world where marriage and parenthood are still seen as the expected life path, what does it mean to defy convention and choose a different way? This week, Jill talks to award-winning documentary filmmaker Therese Shechter about her revolutionary film, My So-Called Selfish Life and the unstoppable rise of the child-free movement. In a world where reproductive rights are under attack, Therese explores how the freedom to choose whether or not to become a mother has never been more urgent. She’s a child-free woman whose work delves deep into a subject that has often been shrouded in shame and stigma, and finds that for many women, there simply is no physiological or emotional imperative to have children. Therese also drops some truth bombs about the “biological clock”, and the surprising number of women who regret becoming mothers, and finds that much of what we’ve been told about the drive to procreate is a social construct. Just one quick content note: this episode was recorded last year, prior to the US election before we knew that J D Vance, that famous lover of childless cat ladies, would be Vice President, so keep that in mind while you’re listening. You can follow Therese on Instagram @trixiefilms, find out more about her film, My So Called Selfish Life here or head to her website for information on her other work. To stay in touch with Well Enough Alone, you can follow us on Instagram @wellenoughalonepod or follow Jill @jillstark__ Well Enough Alone is a Spare Room production. Our producers are Kieran Simpson and Trent Bartlett. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.  

This week’s guest is the very definition of thriving solo. Cindy Gallop is a trailblazer for single, child-free living. She’s torn up the rule book, rejected outdated societal expectations, and actively celebrates her solo life. She’s also someone who is open about the fun she’s having as an older woman dating younger men casually for sex – a trend she says is the relationship model of the future. In this episode, she talks to Jill about why she loves being unmarried and child-free and the liberation she finds in her own company. An entrepreneur and a social disruptor, Cindy describes herself as the ‘Michael Bay of business’ because she likes to blow things up. As the founder and CEO of MakeLoveNotPorn, Cindy’s visionary reimagining of the porn industry has challenged misogynistic and unrealistic depictions of sex. It’s a movement that promotes healthy, consensual and authentic sexual behaviour that empowers women and prioritises connection and open communication. Cindy also talks about her unique perspective on ageing and loving her body, and how she’s living life unapologetically on her own terms. You can follow Cindy on Instagram @cindygallop or follow @makelovenotporn, and check out her website here. To stay in touch with Well Enough Alone, you can follow us on Instagram @wellenoughalonepod or @jillstark__ WellEnough Alone is a Spare Room production. Our producers are Kieran Simpson andTrent Bartlett. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What do death and dying have to teach us about getting comfortable with aloneness and living a good life? It’s a subject that’s often taboo and shrouded in fear and secrecy, but it’s also something none of us can avoid. But what does a good death look like? Is it a lonely and frightening experience? Or can it be something profound and beautiful, with as much to teach us about how to live as how to die? This week, Jill talks to Annie Whitlocke about her work as a death doula, providing emotional, physical, spiritual and practical support to people in their final days. Annie has had a fascinating life. She’s happily single after six marriages, and has experienced immense loss and hardship, giving her unique insights about how to find peace in aloneness. Just as birth doulas provide non-medical support throughout the birthing process, Annie, a death doula, Buddhist chaplain and pastoral carer, is there at the other end of the cycle, acting as a nurturing companion in life’s last transition. You can learn more about Annie’s work here and read about it in her own words here. To stay in touch with Well Enough Alone, you can follow us on Instagram @wellenoughalonepod or @jillstark__ Well Enough Alone is a Spare Room production. Our producers are Kieran Simpson and Trent Bartlett. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. 

If you’ve ever been with a partner and asked, “Is this relationship going anywhere?” or been swept up in a romance without stopping to question if it’s really what you want, then you may already be familiar with the “relationship escalator.”It’s a phrase coined by journalist, Amy Gahran, to describe the default set of steps society expects all intimate relationships to follow. She challenged the cookie cutter approach to modern love with her groundbreaking book, Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator.This week, she chats to Jill about unconventional intimate relationships including consensual nonmonogamy, polyamory and asexuality, as well as her own experiences of solo polyamory, and what she’s learned from being in relationships that don’t follow the standard social script. Amy is based in Boulder, Colorado, and also writes under the pen name Aggie Sez on her blog, Solo Poly. To stay in touch with Well Enough Alone, you can follow us on Instagram @wellenoughalonepod or @jillstark__ or support the show and get subscriber-only, early and ad-free episodes on Patreon. Well Enough Alone is a Spare Room production. Our producers are Kieran Simpson and Trent Bartlett. Get early access to new episodes by subscribing on Patreon. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week’s episode is one we’re really honoured to bring to you. Our guest is someone with boundless courage and compassion, who has shared some of her most vulnerable moments with the world so that others might feel less alone. Rosie Batty is, as she says, the member of a club no mother wants to join. She lost her 11-year-old son, Luke, in 2014 when he was killed by his father that thrust her into the national spotlight as passionate campaigner on the issue of family violence. In this raw and moving conversation, Rosie speaks with profound clarity about how she found hope in the darkest of places, and what she has learned about identity, solitude, the power of human connection, and cultivating a strong sense of self. Rosie has spent the past ten years tirelessly advocating for social, cultural and legal change, on family violence inspiring millions not just in Australia but around the world. In 2014, she won the Pride of Australia Award and in 2015 was named Australian of the Year. Rosie is not on social media but you can read more about her memoirs, A Mother’s Story, and Hope here. If you or someone you know is experiencing family violence, call or visit 1800RESPECT (in Australia) or contact your local support organisation. To stay in touch with Well Enough Alone, you can follow us on Instagram @wellenoughalonepod or @jillstark__ or support the show and get subscriber-only, early and ad-free episodes on Patreon. Well Enough Alone is a Spare Room production. Our producers are Kieran Simpson and Trent Bartlett. Get early access to new episodes by subscribing on Patreon. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Season 2: Episode Six Jacinta Parsons: On reclaiming your forever self, the wisdom of older women and lessons from living with chronic illness Reaching mid-life and reckoning with the ageing process can also be a time of invisibility and isolation, particularly for women. Living with a chronic illness can also be a lonely place. It can feel like the world is moving on around you while you’re stuck in freeze frame. But what if these experiences were actually the birthplace for bringing forth the greatest version of ourselves? One that is truly at peace and comfortable alone.This week’s guest has lived and researched both these topics and has many lessons to impart about the importance of finding our ‘forever self.’ In a moving and intimate conversation, Jacinta and Jill get vulnerable as they dive into some of life’s biggest topics. Jacinta Parsons is a broadcaster, public speaker, ABC Melbourne radio host and author of three books that delve into the complexities, frailties and wisdom of the human condition:Unseen: The Secret World of Chronic Illness; A Question of Age; and the soon to be released,A Wisdom of Age. You can follow Jacinta on Instagram: @jacintaparsons or visit her website here. To stay in touch with Well Enough Alone, you can follow us on Instagram @wellenoughalonepod or @jillstark__ or support the show and get subscriber-only, early and ad-free episodes on Patreon. Well Enough Alone is a Spare Room production. Our producers are Kieran Simpson and Trent Bartlett. Get early access to new episodes by subscribing on Patreon. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.