Unburdened

Hey friends it’s Trevor,I hope you enjoyed the first season of Unburdened. Carey and I are excited about doing a second season, but in the meantime, I wanted to invite you to something a little more intimate. On October 21st, I’ll be leading our first Unburdening group. Are you experiencing a faith transition, or have you stepped away from a high-control religious environment?Perhaps you’re feeling adrift without the familiar structure and support your faith once provided, or you’re grappling with the emotional scars of religious trauma. Maybe you’ve been on this journey for a while but are still unpacking the complex emotions that continue to surface. Or you might still be part of your religious community, but certain beliefs or practices no longer feel aligned with your values, and you’re seeking a space where you can reflect without fear of judgment.If any of this resonates, this group is here for you. Over eight weeks, you’ll join a supportive cohort of 8-12 people who are walking a similar path. Each week, I'll will guide discussions and offer tools to help you heal, grow, and navigate this challenging season of life. This is a place where you can share your story, learn from others, and discover a hopeful path forward.Spots are limited so head over to https://www.unburdenedpodcast.com/faith-transition-support-group today to register. I look forward to seeing you there.

On this episode of the Unburdened podcast, we have Mark Gregory Karris, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in San Diego, California. Dr. Karris specializes in religious trauma and couples therapy. He is also a bestselling author, known for his impactful books including The Diabolical Trinity: Healing Religious Trauma from a Wrathful God, Tormenting Hell, and Sinful Self.Dr. Karris shared his personal journey through religious trauma, beginning with his upbringing in a highly dysfunctional family and his subsequent immersion in a fundamentalist Pentecostal church. He recounted the intense fear and anxiety he experienced due to the church's teachings on hell, demons, and salvation, which significantly impacted his mental and emotional well-being.Mark explains the complexities of religious trauma and the power of self-compassion and experiential healing. By acknowledging the impact of harmful doctrines and seeking support, individuals can heal from religious trauma, overcome fear and anxiety, and find inner peace.We discussed: Experiencing fear, anxiety, and shame due to teachings about hell, wrathful God, and sinful self.How mindfulness, kindness, and common humanity can help develop self-compassion and heal from religious trauma.Creating compassionate figures or using personal connections to foster self-compassion.Understanding the inner critic's intentions and befriending it.Having funerals for internalized Others and reclaiming self-compassion and self-identity.Learn more about Dr. Mark Gregory Karris: Website: https://markgregorykarris.com/The Diabolical Trinity: Healing Religious Trauma from a Wrathful God, Tormenting Hell, and a Sinful Self: https://www.amazon.com/Diabolical-Trinity-Religious-Wrathful-Tormenting/dp/1948609886Learn more about the Unburdened podcast: Instagram: @theunburdenedpodcastPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/Unburdened

On this episode of the Unburdened podcast, we welcome Andy Newman, a licensed professional counselor based in Gilbert Arizona, who specializes in helping individuals navigate faith transitions and religious trauma, particularly within the LDS (Mormon) and LGBTQ communities. Grew up in a staunch Mormon family, Andy is adhering to the doctrines of the LDS Church from a young age. His journey within the church included typical milestones such as serving a mission and attending BYU-Idaho. However, Andy’s experience was marred by internal conflicts and cognitive dissonance, particularly around issues of LGBTQ inclusion and the church’s stance on these matters. Andy first began to feel significant cognitive dissonance during his high school years when he wanted to support his LGBTQ friends but was constrained by the church’s teachings. This internal conflict deepened with the LDS Church’s 2015 policy excluding children of LGBTQ parents from baptism, which Andy cites as a pivotal moment in his faith journey.Throughout the episode, Andy shares poignant stories from his life, such as the challenge of giving a blessing to a choir member struggling with same-sex attraction and the transformative journey of visiting the exMormon subreddit. These experiences highlight the profound impact of personal and systemic conflicts within the LDS Church on his life and the lives of others. We discussed: Andy’s decade-long journey of deconstructing his faith within the LDS Church, focusing on the challenges posed by the church’s 2015 LGBT policy.Cognitive dissonance experienced by Andy as he tried to reconcile his love for LGBTQ friends within the church’s teachings and policies. LDS Church’s 2015 policy that barred children of LGBTQ parents from baptism and its subsequent reversal.The complexities of post mission life, including the pressure to marry quickly and start a family. Challenges and nuances of maintaining a mixed-faith marriage amidst evolving beliefs.Andy’s transformative journey through a faith crisis, emphasizing the significance of finding support systems, validating concerns and the emotional impact of leaving the church.Support systems like Unburdening Groups and online communities such as the exMormon subreddit are crucial for those navigating faith transitions and seeking validation and community. Learn more about Andy Newman:https://www.tiktok.com/@deconstruction_therapy   Learn more about the Unburdened podcast: Instagram: @theunburdenedpodcastPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/Unburdened

This week you get Carey and Trevor all to yourself and a discussion about both the origin of this podcast and some of the reasons why reckoning with our own "origin stories" in high control religions can be so complex and messy.

On this episode of the Unburdened podcast, we are joined by Laurie Wevers, a licensed marriage and family therapist and spiritual director who specializes in treating religious trauma and assisting individuals in connecting with their spirituality post trauma. Based out of the Washington DC area, Laurie has a deep personal connection to the work she does, rooted in her own experiences of growing up in a fundamentalist Christian community and navigating the complexities of embracing her queer identity within that context.However, her experiences in the church led her to question the institutional approach to spirituality and seek a path that prioritized genuine connection and inclusion. This ultimately propelled her toward spiritual direction, a transformative process that she now advocates for, especially for those seeking a non-religious path to spirituality. Throughout the episode, Laurie provides insight into the complexity of navigating religious trauma and finding solace on a non-religious spiritual path. Her story is a testament to the idea that it is possible to find peace, authenticity, and a sense of belonging outside the structure of organized religion. We discussed: Laurie’s experience of growing up in a fundamentalist Christian community and the challenges she faced in reconciling her queer identity with her spiritual beliefs.The practice of spiritual direction, where Laurie uses rituals, intuitive listening and heart centered questions to help individuals reconnect with their true selves after leaving structured faith systems.Fear and isolation one may feel when stepping away from a religious belief system. Concept of freefall and the courage it takes to trust in oneself or the universe during this transition.Laurie’s personal struggle with coming out later in life and the subsequent estrangement from family.Importance of boundaries, the value of a chosen family, and the transformative power of hope and love in embracing one’s true self.How language can be triggering for those healing from spiritual trauma and the importance of creating supportive spaces that allow for healing without re-traumatization.Learn more about Laurie Wevers:https://laurie-wevers.clientsecure.me/ Learn more about the Unburdened podcast: Instagram: @theunburdenedpodcastPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/Unburdened

Our conversation with psychologist and former evangelical Dr. Renea LynnOn this episode of the Unburdened podcast, we meet Dr. Renea Lynn, a psychotherapist based in the Bay Area since 2008. Specializing in ADHD and religious trauma recovery, she offers a unique perspective on mental health care, addressing depression, anxiety, and trauma. Dr. Lynn specializes in relational and religious trauma therapy for children and adolescents. Raised in the Assemblies of God Church, her path changed when she pursued a bachelor's in church leadership with the goal of becoming a pastor. Dr. Lynn bravely shares her 20-year-long journey, detailing the collapse of her beliefs within the Assemblies of God Church, and how therapy played a critical role in her path to recovery and the redefinition of her spirituality.Her story is a powerful reminder that, although the journey of healing from spiritual trauma is fraught with challenges, it is also an opportunity for profound growth and self-discovery. Through heartfelt discussion, Dr. Lynn charts the path of reformation that accompanies the deconstruction of faith, highlighting the essential nature of empathy, self-compassion, and the courage to trust oneself.  We discussed: The role of therapy in supporting individuals as they deconstruct their faith and rebuild their spiritual existence.Finding new forms of community and spirituality is part of the healing process.Recognizing and allowing oneself to express a range of emotions, including anger, is vital for healing.Developing self-trust and self-compassion is essential for navigating the journey beyond religious trauma.Acknowledging and validating personal truths through documentation and creative expression.Setting healthy boundaries is a crucial step in the process of recovery and self-discovery.Learn more about Dr. Renea Lynn:https://www.drrenealynn.com/Learn more about the Unburdened podcast: Instagram: @theunburdenedpodcastPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/Unburdened

Jennifer Bartley talks about her transformative journey from Southern Baptist upbringing to healing after a profound shift in beliefs and complete deconversion.On this episode of the Unburdened podcast, we have Jennifer Bartley, a therapist from Nashville, Tennessee, who shared her profound journey through spiritual trauma and her subsequent healing process. Jennifer, originally deeply rooted in the Southern Baptist community, experienced a significant shift in her beliefs which led to a complete deconversion.Jennifer detailed her experiences at Southern Baptist Seminary, her intense involvement in church activities from a young age, and the eventual questioning that led to her faith crisis. She discussed the complexities of handling this transition while being a mother and a wife, emphasizing the difficulties and the strategies she employed to rebuild her sense of community and personal belief system outside of the church.Jennifer’s story is not just one of loss and struggle but also of empowerment and recovery. She uses her experiences and now specializes in helping individuals navigate religious trauma and spiritual deconstruction.We discussed: Shifting parenting approaches post-faith deconstruction, prioritizing open dialogue, belief freedom, and offering alternative life lessons for children.Jennifer’s strategies for creating new family traditions and discussing important life topics without religious influence.Intentionally seeking out and investing in supportive relationships post-faith transition.The complexities of faith changes, and finding ways to live authentically and meaningfully post-deconstruction.To learn more about Jennifer Bartley:Website: https://www.daybreaktherapyservices.com/ Learn more about the Unburdened podcast: Instagram: @theunburdenedpodcastPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/Unburdened

Our conversation with Brian McDonald about his book "The Long Surrender: A Memoir about Losing My Religion"On this episode of the Unburdened podcast, we have Brian McDonald. From his upbringing in Alabama to his 30-year career as a preacher, missionary, and pastor, including seven transformative years in Taiwan mastering Mandarin Chinese. With degrees from Liberty University and the College of William and Mary, Brian transitioned into counseling, teaching at prestigious universities like Johns Hopkins and George Mason.Brian discussed the complexities of leaving a rigid religious community, the isolation that often follows, and the struggle to maintain relationships with those who cannot accept his change in belief. His memoir, The Long Surrender, encapsulates his journey of grappling with theological conflicts, particularly the doctrine of eternal damnation, which he could never fully reconcile with his understanding of a just and loving deity.Married to Kathy for 44 years, they have three children and three grandchildren. His life's work, both as a minister and now as a therapist, continues to inspire and support those in the midst of their own spiritual transformations.We discussed: Difficulties faced when leaving a religious community, including losing support and love from former members.Staying true to one's beliefs and integrity, even if it means diverging from a religious community's beliefs.The mental health journey of dealing with intrusive thoughts and obsessive-compulsive disorder.Encounters with racial segregation and inclusion, exploring how cultural and racial backgrounds shape belief systems.Finding a supportive community that respects individual beliefs and values.Maintaining relationships with individuals who may not understand or agree with one's changing beliefs.To learn more about Brian McDonald: Website: https://www.brianrushmcdonald.com/index.htmTHE LONG SURRENDER: A Memoir About Losing My Religion (book): https://www.brianrushmcdonald.com/Twitter: https://twitter.com/drbrianmcLearn more about the Unburdened podcast: Instagram: @theunburdenedpodcastPatreon: https://www.patreon.com/Unburdened